There was a note in Thor’s voice which ran the gamut, tripped its
way across the spectrum of old familiar and new injury, and for a precious
tensed-jawed breath, Sif felt like herself again when she rounded on him.
The resulting sweep of irritation played across her face, stung openly and
made itself plain rather than hiding behind skittish hurt. For that moment,
she gratefully shrugged off reserve and nerves, letting frustration do as it
pleased.
“Aye, you did and oft there are times I wonder if I
know at all the man who came back from death.”
And there, that was that. She was left standing with palmful of ash & breathing
just a shade too fast, wholly uncertain unwilling to throw herself against him
the way she might have, once, until everything was same and sane again. Sif
wasn’t sure she wanted to think past now and reach for ephemeral future, to
consider what had been, or what might be – if she made herself stay grounded
in this present absurd moment of fanned-flames indignation, then she could
forget worry, deny however foreign and incomprehensible this all was, and it’d
just be Sif-&-Thor, the usual campfire flaring up at the usual sun star. She shut
her eyes instead, closest thing she could offer to surrender or apology in a deep
breaths slow count to three.
“Can you keep doing this?” One. “This, what we’ve been doing
since you came back. Whatever we’re doing now. Can you keep
at it?” Two. “Because I can’t.“
Three and she boxed it all away. Everything: the war goddess’ temper and the
woman’s nerves, the fingernails-in-palm reach for calm, tics and shivers which
left her halfway between feeling like poorly-strung puppet & someone walking on
eggshells. It was force it all down in desperate need for it-has-to-be-better.
"I miss you but am uncomfortable around you,
and looking at you hurts.”
---- Countenance no doubt carries the distinct signs of broken and beaten, his weariness dotted in thick shadows under the eyes and sharp lines framing tense mouth. A wretched and paled well of remarks that should have stayed closed for a while longer, at the very least should have formed the words differently. In hindsight everything appeared worse these days, he certainly felt the weight of it , thick discomfort ( an unwanted and unfamiliar companion that joined them some time ago) reminding him everything had changed.
‘ I would have been able to, if I knew what awaited me after the battle was done.’
Apathy, how he longed to have it blanket him at this moment, a shield of indifference young prince and this new, older yet not much wiser one wished he could conjure. That or a thicker skin, tan-colored armor that would not prickle and strain too tightly around the tension in his muscles.
‘ I had thought a hardened man would please you, what you see is forged by none other than yourself. Batter ram turned blunt, I am done colliding with the unbreakable.’