you must first belong nowhere

Independent Black Widow rp blog, primarily Earth-616, adapted to be MCU-adjacent when needed. Obsessed over by Onyx. He/They, 28+. Read rules before interacting. Other links can be found by hovering over the logos to the left.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: after six whole years, Natasha is moving away. This will be my last post here for the foreseeable future, and quite likely for good.

here’s the thing:  in order to feel really comfortable in the rpc again and 1) not overwhelmed by being here and working three jobs and taking care of my health and attempting to put a little time into my other hobbies and my family, 2) not feel either pressured to do various things or interact with people where I don’t necessarily feel entirely valued for a variety of reasons, 3) not be anxious about a dash that moves fast and also requires me to leave on notifications for things I’ve tumblr savior’d just in order to load pages because so much is blocked, and 4) generally just needing a massive change to kick myself into gear... I’ve decided I’m going to need to majorly downsize. 

I understand that this will probably upset some people, offend some of you, etc. I know some of you who are invested in me will be disappointed to have me go. some of you will wonder why I’ve chosen to continue interacting with some people and not others. I’m sorry in advance. The bottom line is that I love writing, I love RPing, and I need to take some steps to be able to continue doing that. 

I may re-follow people in stages, as and when I feel okay to do so, but it will not be everyone and I won’t interact with anyone I don’t follow first. (Right now I follow 250+ blogs. Never again, yeesh.) This is not a reflection on you ic or ooc, this is just something I need for myself. I appreciate each of you and your presence and the fact that you’ve been with me throughout this journey, and I hope that the world brings you good things. 

Thank you for everything!! Please take care of yourselves, and as always, be good to each other. ♥️ ]

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: after six whole years, Natasha is moving away. This will be my last post here for the foreseeable future, and quite likely for good.

here’s the thing:  in order to feel really comfortable in the rpc again and 1) not overwhelmed by being here and working three jobs and taking care of my health and attempting to put a little time into my other hobbies and my family, 2) not feel either pressured to do various things or interact with people where I don’t necessarily feel entirely valued for a variety of reasons, 3) not be anxious about a dash that moves fast and also requires me to leave on notifications for things I’ve tumblr savior’d just in order to load pages because so much is blocked, and 4) generally just needing a massive change to kick myself into gear… I’ve decided I’m going to need to majorly downsize. 

I understand that this will probably upset some people, offend some of you, etc. I know some of you who are invested in me will be disappointed to have me go. some of you will wonder why I’ve chosen to continue interacting with some people and not others. I’m sorry in advance. The bottom line is that I love writing, I love RPing, and I need to take some steps to be able to continue doing that. 

I may re-follow people in stages, as and when I feel okay to do so, but it will not be everyone and I won’t interact with anyone I don’t follow first. (Right now I follow 250+ blogs. Never again, yeesh.) This is not a reflection on you ic or ooc, this is just something I need for myself. I appreciate each of you and your presence and the fact that you’ve been with me throughout this journey, and I hope that the world brings you good things. 

Thank you for everything!! Please take care of yourselves, and as always, be good to each other. ♥️ ]

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: after six whole years, Natasha is moving away. This will be my last post here for the foreseeable future, and quite likely for good.

here’s the thing:  in order to feel really comfortable in the rpc again and 1) not overwhelmed by being here and working three jobs and taking care of my health and attempting to put a little time into my other hobbies and my family, 2) not feel either pressured to do various things or interact with people where I don’t necessarily feel entirely valued for a variety of reasons, 3) not be anxious about a dash that moves fast and also requires me to leave on notifications for things I’ve tumblr savior’d just in order to load pages because so much is blocked, and 4) generally just needing a massive change to kick myself into gear… I’ve decided I’m going to need to majorly downsize. 

I understand that this will probably upset some people, offend some of you, etc. I know some of you who are invested in me will be disappointed to have me go. some of you will wonder why I’ve chosen to continue interacting with some people and not others. I’m sorry in advance. The bottom line is that I love writing, I love RPing, and I need to take some steps to be able to continue doing that. 

I may re-follow people in stages, as and when I feel okay to do so, but it will not be everyone and I won’t interact with anyone I don’t follow first. (Right now I follow 250+ blogs. Never again, yeesh.) This is not a reflection on you ic or ooc, this is just something I need for myself. I appreciate each of you and your presence and the fact that you’ve been with me throughout this journey, and I hope that the world brings you good things. 

Thank you for everything!! Please take care of yourselves, and as always, be good to each other. ♥️ ]

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

sevenswcrds​:

@artificiallyimplantedmemories​ liked for a starter Many Days Ago but I’m Erratic As Fuck 

The tea is perfectly steeped, for once, as Muninn breathes in the steam, before she turns and then looks to the street- and the other redhead on it, grey eyes locking unerringly on the other, as she raises the cup.  “You look like you could use this more than me.”

     She’s not here to see her, but perhaps it’s not coincidence that they’ve ended up in the same place at the same time. She’s been walking briskly, tacsuit hidden under a fashionable coat, mentally marking off possible locations for someone to escape to when she pursues them in this direction later in the day, but she comes to a halt by the cafe table and slides into the seat across from the other woman. 

     “Don’t let me deprive you. But enlighten me, what exactly do I look like?”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

angerbuilt​:

       Natasha’s voice has always been pretty soothing, at least to Delanie. She likes to listen to her speak and she likes the way she describes things. Head tilts against her shoulder and she cuddles in, comfortable and warm and safe. That’s the most important thing here, is that she feels safe. Because she does, without fail, whenever she’s with Nat.

       Even though she has absolutely no idea what Natasha’s even been reading and none of it really makes any sense to her, she’s happy to listen because the lilt of her voice is perfect. Head tilts back a little and she looks up, chin resting against Natasha’s shoulder - nose pressing against her cheek. “Okay, so… what does that mean?”

     Delanie looks like she could actually drift off to this, or at least relax properly, and Natasha is grateful that something works. She knows all too well how easy it is to get caught up in one’s own brain, and how much having a person to keep you company and talk to you can help. She’s not in the habit of seeking that help, of course, being as hyperindependent as she is, but at least she can offer it when needed. 

     “It basically means that the media continuously feeds us stuff from all over the world, and we can no longer focus on the ‘small picture’ because we’re constantly seeing things on a global scale. It’s hard to stay empathetic, to care about everything going on because it’s so much and we’re not really built to deal with all of it at once.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

angerbuilt​:

       Natasha shares her opinion and Delanie nods. She wasn’t really in the mood to go against whatever Nat said, she really didn’t know where she wanted to eat, so this was a good middle ground. “That sounds perfect, actually.” She liked the idea of that, she had to be honest. She leans against Natasha’s shoulder and exhales, arms looped around her waist. “I’m starving, so I might end up getting two lots.” 

     Delanie puts away more food than a lot of people — probably something to do with her metabolism — but it’s never been out of the norm for Natasha to see that. It’s the same with Steve, given the serum, and with Thor, being an Asgardian. Two orders is nothing compared to those guys. “You get whatever you like. But we’re not going to get any closer to it if you’re leaning on me like that.” She laughs. “Up, up, come on.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

tzdkh​:

she giggles and wrench, honest to god, wonders if he’s about to be murdered. not everyone found bagley amusing, and not everyone would find his breached attempts on their security giggle worthy. especially women with as… severe as a face as she had on most days. but the moment passes as she both backhandedly compliments him, and then praises bagley, all in the same moment.

wrench does not sulk, instead, he smiles ( leds flashing ^ ^ as a clue to his mood ). “a treat for bagley? he tried to help me.” he singsongs, raising his voice over any feeble protest the ai tries to make. “we only stopped because he got bored.”

“we only stopped because wrench got impatient.”

“me, impatient. you, bored. us, a couple of degenerates trying to see if we can solve some of america’s greatest mysteries.”

“like where does bigfoot live, and what his favorite food is.”

wrench hums in eager agreement, then twists his smile into a frown as he notices the look on her face now. nat was a terrifying woman, and wrench already had a big fear of, well, women. so, despite all his bravo, this whole stare down was really bothering him. “uhhh. no?” it comes out like a question.

     Natasha’s face is a little moue of disappointment, more mock so than anything fully genuine, and she shakes her head. “Oh pity, I suppose no treats are on the menu after all, not for you,” a head tilt to Wrench, “or you,” to Bagely this time, “or Bigfoot. We could have had so much, and yet...!”

     She spins a small throwing knife — when did she pull that out? — across her fingers, deftly avoiding the blade as it flipped from one side to another, and her face falls into something more serious (again a mask, always a mask). 

     “I have people killed for less than this, you realize. Trying to hack my tech is worse than a capital offense. Tell me, was it simple curiosity or something more nefarious that drove you to attempt it? Be honest and I might not cut off your fingers.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

illunaris​:

She was on to something. It may be the correct grave but not the correct corpse. Or whatever was left of it. If someone had removed the correct person and added a different one at some point, then the soil was always going to be useless and Loki had to find a different way. Just to be sure that there was no easier solution to this, Loki looked through the pages for another moment, then closed the book and vanished it, then grinned at Natasha forebodingly.

“I say let’s add assistant grave robber to your resumé. If you’re correct and the body has been replaced, then we’re wasting our time with the grave dirt. So we need to check who is buried here and if it’s not the right person then I will find other means to communicate with the victim.”

He squared his shoulders and raised his arms, the soil was trembling. “I hope you don’t mind if I do it the quick way? I see no other way to get forensic evidence, aside from using a shovel and taking a lot of time.” Loki doubted the Black Widow would care about him desecrating a random grave if it got their job done. 

     Natasha’s mouth twisted in distaste, but she nodded. Dead bodies meant little to her, and it wasn’t like she was attached to the rituals and respect of them either. Once you were dead, you were dead, nothing but food for the scavengers, nutrition for the plants, or left to decay in a box if you were unlucky. She, personally, liked the idea of being eaten by wolves. She wasn’t going to orchestrate such a thing though. 

     Loki moved the dirt away, revealing a human body... but one so mangled that she couldn’t decipher their identity on sight. Despite being a fairly fresh grave, the body was contorted at strange angles. The eyes bulged unnaturally from the sockets, the mouth open in a soundless scream with the mandible nearly ripped in two. 

     “What the hell happened to this guy?” She looked back and forth between Loki and the figure in the ground. “I can’t even tell who that’s supposed to be. We could check the DNA but...” It was strange. There was neither reason for his figure to be so distorted, nor anything that could account for the advanced stage of decomposition that he was in.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

sevenbulletsavior​:

[SMS  /  Natasha] Foggy might yell at us if we give Matt a heart attack. [SMS  /  Natasha] I think she will survive. She’s got a lot of drive. She also really likes looking at Matt so there is that. [SMS  /  Natasha] Mr. Patterson. Sweet old man. We helped him with his storefront lease a while back. [SMS  /  Natasha] He says pastries are on the house whenever we come but I refuse to not pay.

[ txt ] well I’d rather give Matt a heart attack than Foggy, at least Foggy’s a gem [ txt ] for legal purposes that was a joke [ txt ] anyway Matt is plenty good to look at, that much I can agree with [ txt ] should we get pastries for the whole crew? I’ll foot the bill.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

shadowscribed​:

THE INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST DID HER BEST to be stealthy as she side stepped a few puddles and jumped over an open man hole cover. “Someone is severely lacking on their job,” she muttered, glancing up against so as not to lose her target. There was another vigilante in town and she wanted to know if they were a good or bad guy. You could never be too careful. Not after all the drama and shit she’d seen. Hopefully Lois could be stealthy enough and not get caught. Clark had been teaching a few tricks.

Finding a corner to settle on, camera at the ready, Lois waited for the figure to reappear again. This person — whoever they were — liked keeping to the shadows and darkness. Much like The Blur had. Was it another unmasked hero? Or someone doing shady business?  @artificiallyimplantedmemories​ asked for Lois !

     Natasha was thoroughly focused on tracking down the steps taken by a rogue vigilante — ironic given that she essentially was one as well — but this one had taken to killing anyone and everyone who worked for organizations with bad reputations. Some of the people on the roster are desk workers who have no stake in the company and don’t deserve violence. Some are cleaning crew, with no option but to work for wherever their parent company contracts. 

     Whoever is killing them is hell-bent on revenge and not thinking about the implications. 

     So focused is she that Natasha nearly misses the person waiting for her. Her eyes widen in alarm at the camera, instantly springing away and massively grateful for the cowl covering her face. She glares from the shadows. “What do you want?”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

araedi​:

It’s a pleasant surprise that Natasha acquiesces; that she trusts him enough is an unspoken display of vulnerability he knows to be rare from the Black Widow. It’s trust he is eager to prove well-placed, though he knows to keep a tighter hold on enthusiasm these days than perhaps he had at the beginning. Taking a slower approach requires some conscious effort on his part, but he’s more than willing (and, though he’d refuse to admit it, tired after the battle), to take the time.

His cuirass comes last now that he’s settled, and with the heaviest pieces of armour removed Thor can focus on the matters at hand. He reaches across to pull the medical kit closer, flicking through the contents in search of all he might require. Midgard’s approach to medicine is not entirely the same as that on Asgard, but Thor has been here long enough that everything now makes sense and seems to do the job well enough. Still, though, he can’t help but feel the odd healing stone wouldn’t go amiss in times such as these.  

“Oh, don’t remind me about those damned smoothies,” Thor grumbles, though it’s good natured, and gestures for Nat to show him her shoulder. “He made me try one and I have yet to recover. Tried telling him that no man – mortal or Æsir – should try and live on liquid alone but he won’t listen. Thankfully today he’ll eat something proper. Mostly proper. Better than usual by his standards at least.”

A bass chuckle, and Thor opens one of the packets of cleansing wipes in preparation to clean the wound and check the damage. “How’s your shoulder feeling for pain?”

     Natasha is entertained by Thor’s apparent hatred for the green juice — she shares it, honestly — but they do have enough nutrition for Tony to get by. She’s not sure he enjoys it, but it’s convenient for him not to have to think about it, and lets him keep working in the lab without interruption, just picking up the bottle of it from time to time to take a swig. 

     Better that than alcohol, at least. She remembers all too well when his coping strategies were significantly less healthy. 

     “My shoulder’s alright, just gouged open. Nothing I can’t handle.” There are a couple of exposed nerves that zing with any movement there, but none of them seem to be pinched or torn at least. Besides, she’s had far, far worse. The fact that it’s not a wound to her core is the only reason she’s been able to make her rounds in the first place. 

     “Didn’t expect them to fry my tech on me, though. These —” she motions to the Widow’s Bites, “— hold up to most things, but they managed to puncture and electrocute them in one fell swoop. I’m lucky it didn’t knock me right out of the fight.” Holding one’s ground with that many volts coursing through the body was best left to people like Thor who could actually control it, and ironically it was Nat’s Red Room experience that she could thank for being able to stand it. “Still, not much more than a burn over there, so I’m okay on that too.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

shielddatabase​:

“That sounds like a good idea, you got any seismic weapons?” he asked, as he made his way over to Natasha

“You okay?” he asked once he was next to her.

     “Anything is seismic if used right.”

     “Mmm, perhaps... no... yes.” She takes her Widow’s Bites and instead of plugging them into the grid, she puts it into the A/C unit. The whole thing crumbles, the air cannoning through the building with a bang and making it rattle violently. “Yes.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

twxcesaved​:

+ Mary Jane’s attention NEVER left Natasha once she heard the SERIOUSNESS the conversation had taken a turn for. The logic made PERFECT sense to her, given the amount of times Peter had seen his fair share of BLAME for something he hadn’t done. Surely the same went for the other scores of superheroes out there in the world. “ I promise . Scout’s honor . “ She nodded, crossing her fingers and holding them up for Natasha to see. “ It’s safe with me . “ 

     “I’m glad you understand,” Natasha nodded, then handed over the candy. “Keep it locked up when you’re not using it, and don’t tell people you have it, or you might have someone break in and try to take it from you. I’d rather you not get caught up with the kind of people who would attempt that.” Too many people had already been hurt because of her, she wasn’t going to let Mary Jane be added to that list. “And if things go wrong, let me know right away, okay? I’ll drop by and install a chip in the belt that you can use for emergency contacts.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

cxpt​:

“Of course, I know that. But I also know that being a spy means you’re willing to hide things from everyone. Including someone who’s your friend.” Just because they were friends, just because he’d figured out how to read her some of the time, didn’t mean she couldn’t find ways of hiding things from him.  He knew that something had been going on with her and whatever that something was he wanted her to know that she could trust him with that information. Even more so if that information meant a mission might end up going sideways. Steve knew neither of them wanted that to happen. But he needed to know what was going on and if it was going to affect anything that might be coming up soon. “Welcome to the club,” he teased, knowing all of them suffered from sleeping issues. The nightmares were something he’d dealt with since they found him in the ice. Was what was what plagued Natasha, too? He didn’t know and he wasn’t going to push, either. She would tell him if she wanted him to know. “I feel like we should start some sort of club given how all of us tend to go through weeks where we don’t sleep.”

     “Not the kind of club anyone would want to join,” Natasha said ruefully. It’s not like being unable to sleep was any fun, after all. She looked back at him, shrugging. It wouldn’t hurt to let him in on a little of what was going on. “Something is shaking up my web recently, and it’s worrying me, that’s all. A bunch of my regular contacts have fallen out of touch, which means either that they’ve got someone who is paying them better than me for the intel that I need, or that they’re being killed off. They’re not related to each other, so I can only imagine that the real target is me.” And she’s terribly tired of people dying on her behalf. It’s not fair to them to have to suffer simply for knowing the Black Widow.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

cosmicskrull​:

“Oh my gosh, yes, for sure! Ask me for anything, if I can provide, I will!” She loved doing favors for her favorites, it was truly altruistic and beautiful… plus it meant that they owed her favors down the line, and she loved getting stuff!

She had to wonder what- Ano? “Well, Loki’s a lady… and I don’t think she’s too focused on converting or controlling at the moment, but- Well, which ladies would you like to see on the show? I still have to go searching for them, an outside perspective could be really helpful~”

While she could simply go through the encyclopedia of ‘all those whose footsteps shook the world’ getting help could offer a new look to her program. Why simulate the human experience when she could simply… get it?

“Miss Rappaccini owes me a few favors, I could probably get her to do a show if she’s not in The Raft right now…”

     Natasha’s eyebrows rose slightly — the Scientist Supreme owed her favors? — wondering about the circumstances that led to all this. Still, her mind buzzed on, thinking about options for female villains that might be interesting to include, and ones she’d like more intel on. 

     “I didn’t know Loki was in lady mode these days, I suppose that works. Perhaps a double feature of Loki and Hela, even? I wouldn’t mind knowing what Tilda is up to these days, she’s been lying low but might be willing to gush about new discoveries of hers with the right incentive. On the more personal side, Sarkissian deserves to be drawn and quartered but her insight would be interesting nonetheless. And Nefaria would make a terrible guest, more than likely.”

     She shrugged, thinking. There were plenty of others that were less relevant to her, but some of the X-Men or off-worlders might thank her for. “Frost is always a wild card, as are Amora and Lorelai. Oyama or Selene or even Sofen, perhaps? It really depends on what sort of atmosphere you’re going for.”

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

notafossil​:

      When she grinds down on him, Steve releases a low noise in the back of his throat, tilting his head back to get a better look at her.  ❝ Mm, you don’t have to worry about that, Nat. Only you get this treatment. ❞ He assures her, his pupils dilated as he meets her gaze. Her question makes him hum, and he flicks his gaze across her features for only a moment before replying.  ❝ I wouldn’t object. ❞

     Nat presses a little kiss to his forehead and slides off his lap. The silk scarf she’d worn earlier in the day is at hand, and she’d rather not leave him there unattended, so she folds it twice and then ties it around Steve’s head. A movement in front of the eyes checks that it’s blocking out whatever he would have seen otherwise and then she starts peeling him out of his clothes, leaving little kisses and bites on each bit of newly exposed skin.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

notafossil​:

      He could get used to this. He never feels more at home than he does when he’s got her with him– doesn’t matter where they are. His eyes drift idly across her features, an easy smile on his face as he gently sweeps his thumb along her jawline, enjoying the soft skin beneath his touch.  ❝ You’re beautiful. ❞ He muses softly, his thumb catching briefly on her bottom lip before his smile widens.  

     It’s a phrase she’s heard plenty of times before, though rarely from someone as genuine as Steve, and she can’t help but tease him a little. “Careful, pretty boy, your crush is showing.” She likes it though, because she knows that he appreciates the surface but also what’s underneath it. He sees her for who she is, flaws and all, and consciously decides to accept her and care for her anyway. It’s not the wisest thing to do, but it’s certainly well reciprocated too. “I could get used to this.”