In another life , things might have been easier for them. He would still have a family. His nephew would have had the chance to grow up , fight direbunnies , and learn how to pronounce ‘ sword ’ properly. His brother would have had a second child with his beautiful wife , maybe even a third. His father could have passed the title of Teyrn onto Fergus without incident , and the Couslands would have continued to reign happily over Highever for generations. He wouldn’t be damaged in another life , irreparably broken , tormented by his past.
She didn’t deserve him. She was too good , too strong , too deserving of someone who could properly handle his emotions. He was a mess. For so long he’d ignored it , denied it , fought it even. His growing feelings for her would ruin them both , he’d been sure of it. Here they were , trying to save the world , and he might just be falling in love with her smile , with the power of her magic , with the way she teased him , with every single part of her. It wasn’t right , it wasn’t appropriate , and it terrified the hell out of him. Maker , he’d just lost his entire family and here he was caring about someone ? Someone he could very possibly , very easily lose.
His heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Her death would shatter him. It did shatter him. She died fighting the Archdemon and everything he knew ended with her. Her broken , lifeless body cradled in his arms and his screams had scratched his throat raw , long-dried tears mixed with blood and dirt. He kissed her , leaned in and pressed his lips to her in the gentlest way he knew how. His fingers brushed against her hair as they rose to cradle her cheeks. “ Pros , I love you. ” He whispered against her mouth , his heart breaking. “ I love you. ”