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``A God's Solitude.``
Telamon x GN! Reader
CW: NONE! (But this isn't heavily proofread)
Notes: I know you requested Shedletsky, but I didn't have any ideas for him so I hope me writing Telamon instead isn't too disappointing... and also im being so fr when I say that this is the closest thing I can get to a shedletsky fic for like another month, sooo...
One of the only sounds that could be heard was the faint dripping of rain from outside that old, stained glass window.
You watch silently as the drops trail down the textured glass, eventually reaching the stone window sill and pooling off of it.
The glass on the inside, however, was dusty. So much so that you could hardly even tell that the gold soldering holding each pane together was ever gold in the first place.
The other sound audible in the room was the constant, rhythmic clicking of that grandfather clock in the corner of Telamon's chamber.
The hands read 4:27 in the morning.
You would have been in your own room, asleep, had it not been for Telamon specifically requesting your presence today.
He always tried to play it off as a sort of possessiveness. That he simply wanted to keep you around because you were his, in a way.
That you belonged by his side simply because he was your god.
And while that may have been somewhat true, you knew the real reason.
Telamon was lonely.
It was the kind of loneliness that would stick to a person like a stain, unable to be washed away.
It was different from being alone.
There were many nights where you'd ask him how his day was, and he'd simply respond, "I was alone most of the day."
And while technically true, it's not what he meant.
What he meant to say was that he was lonely.
He sits on the bed, by the window; not even pretending to be asleep. His wings are wrapped around himself, though only slightly.
And yet, despite this, you'd always wonder why he kept you so close, but so far at the same time.
Physically, he'd keep you near. A hand wrapped around your waist whenever you were in public.
But emotionally, he'd be so distant. Hardly talking to you.
Perhaps in private, he just wasn't very talkative.
Or at least, you hoped so.
You really
really
hoped so...
Not enough to act as full on comforting, but enough to show how he yearned for it.
How he always yearned for it.
"Telamon, I know something is bothering you," you'd say.
Sometimes he'd ignore you, or pretend not to hear.
Tonight was one of those sometimes.
"Come on, don't ignore me..."
He sighs, wings drooping behind him.
You are constantly looking at those wings. At the brown feathers that fade into the faintest of golds. You can't help but admire them.
Admire him.
Sometimes, when the night is still and it's just the two of you, he'll hold you close and wrap those wings around you, whispering small thank yous and I love yous.
You say sometimes, but it has only ever happened once before and never again.
"You needn't dote on me so. I am a god, in case you've forgotten."
Most likely, he was pretending to be annoyed again.
To appear as if he doesn't need you.
To prove to you that he is strong and capable and independent and all the things a god should be.
But you hardly care.
All you care about is loving him.
And so you begin to crawl closer to him, and he stares at you with that signature, almost owl-like golden gaze.
"I didn't forget. But please, won't you just let me take care of you? If only for tonight?"
You see his shoulders untense a little, and he lets out a sigh he wasn't even aware he was holding. "I suppose... since you are asking so earnestly. It would be.. rude of me to deny such a request."
You smile at his acceptance.
"You must have felt so lonely," you'd murmur, eyes soft as you gaze at him.
And despite how the words seem to pierce him in a way he never thought was possible, he still finds the words amusing. Almost laughable.
Loneliness is a given for the divine.
"You don't always have to exist in solitude, you know. You have me.." you'd say, almost silently.
Yet the words hold volume regardless.
You know Telamon has a reason for acting so distant with you, whatever reason that may be.
But oh how you wished he'd let you in a little more.
"Yes.." he starts, words trailing off a bit as he fails to hold your gaze. It's unusal; how unsure he seems now.
Telamon was always a very confident god.
"but for how long?" he finally asks.
And it hits you now more than ever why he always seemed so distant.
Why, despite appearing to be carefree and unbothered, he'd always return to you in silence.
Because despite loving you, and adoring you, he was constantly in a state of bracing for your death.
In a state of preparing to never see you again.
In a state that was somewhere between experiencing and cherishing and mourning; all at the same time.
You were mortal, after all.
"So that's what's been bothering you..." you'd sigh, looking into his eyes solemnly. "You'll have me for my whole life, Telamon."
You place yourself before him, taking his hands in yours.
"I know to you, that won't be very long," you'd start, gently running your fingers over his knuckles. "But... please... let me love you for the entirety of it. I want to love you properly, Telamon."
Silence befalls the both of you like a veil, and for a moment, nobody speaks. It remains that way until you see a shift in Telamon's expression.
He smiles, though it's less one of joy and more one of musing.
"You really are foolish..." he'd mutter before leaning closer to your face. He presses his lips to yours, a chaste kiss forming between the two of you.
"Loving me for the entirety of your life... Aren't you afraid of wasting it?"
You feel his arms wrapping around your waist, his head pressing into the crook of your neck.
You shake your head almost instantly. "I won't be wasting it if I spend it all with you..."
You see his wings twitch behind him, and he scoffs. Yet you don't miss how he pulls you closer to him.
"Still foolish. But admirable. You always are."
Telamon speaks once more. "Just for tonight... let me remain by your side.." his voice is.. softer than usual. Quiet. Vulnerable. As if the words themselves would shatter if spoken any louder.
His clawed hands desperately dig into your skin, and he holds his breath waiting for your response.
"I'll stay by your side every night, if that's what you want," you respond, your arms moving to hold him close as he does to you.
You feel his wings encased the both of you, holding you closer to him.
The feathers are warm as they brush over your skin, and you feel an overwhelming sense of calm wash over you.
"I do want that."
He presses another kiss to your lips. This one his deeper, more desperate.
It leaves you breathless.
"And more than that... I want you."
You feel his grip on you tighten, as if he's afraid you'd be gone as soon as he lets go.
"I will always want you.." he says, once again failing to hold your gaze.
You smile at him, before cupping the side of his face and tilting it up slightly.
"I love you, Telamon."
You see his breath hitch slightly at your words, before he regains his composure to respond.
"I love you too."
