#wastedframes

[jacaldwellphoto]

3.6.15 margot carlson at a life is beautiful gallery photo workshop being photographed (photographer unknown) #wastedframes #makeitawkward #isthismyartiststatement #availablelight #ifitwaseasyeveryonewoulddoit (at Hoboken, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuhqSEWnLlf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fvk4xra8ghyk

[jacaldwellphoto]

12.16.13 a wasted frame of laid out wardrobe and a generic light test in a since closed motel in ramsey new jersey on rt 17 south bound #thoughtlesspost #wastedframes #hotelmotel #seedybergencounty #oldnewborrowedblue https://www.instagram.com/myphotographslie/p/BtHJqF2l_fE/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ad9lhit94idw

[jacaldwellphoto]

5.3.14 a scene from a short stay motel in elizabeth new jersey at 11am. got into a discussion with the therapist yesterday about somethings. in general what makes me, “me” or at least the less than typical behaviors are my past traumas and that i am an adult child of an alcoholic. they had me read a book called THE INTIMACY STRUGGLE and it really opened up my way of seeing myself and my interactions with others through out my life. they said at some point something about how “ i just want to be seen acknowledged visible maybe even known” and i miss read how they meant that initially but they explained it further and just meant involvement with people who genuinely KNOW me and that’s true. i’ve always yearned and craved those deeper relationships and i think i only ever forged them with other similarly less than typical people. those friendships would always be bombastic. sometimes very deep connects but usually would be terminal due to me or them not having abilities to resolve conflict or manage unfulfilled expectations. SO, you are wondering what that has to do with this photo right? well before i had my own space in our home i’d rent hotel and or motel rooms to shoot in. i think the photos at that time i was creating were total LIES. i was creating a narrative of intimacy that i really rarely had with many people. not really understanding it i was trying to create something that made sense in my own backwards way about how i felt about things. these spaces served me well enough the dozen or so times i used them. they gave me the privacy i needed to learn what i wanted to about photography and myself. i was to insecure to rent a studio and could not put myself out there and go that direction at that time. i think there’s not a lot of you out there that see understand and or truly know me. you have gotten the parts that are out there on the exterior & readily visible. in the next year i’m going to work on getting to know my friends & trying to find the people who want to know me as well. so that’s the story of WHY i posted this i guess. #motel #diffusedlight #flashphotography #wastedframes #isthismyartiststatement (at Knights Inn) https://www.instagram.com/myphotographslie/p/Bqz-s8PlirT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=b3lwgjsb2dnl

[jacaldwellphoto]

11.15.13 a photograph of sarah lynn being photographed at studio 210 1) this might be currently one of my favorite photos from the times i attended workshops. it’s not the greatest photo technically speaking but content wise the feeling into seeing it for the first time in years this morning really stirred something up. i didn’t really have permission to shoot this. in as much as i didn’t ask the photographer if he minded being in my photo of sarah. that kind of makes the photo something else to me. a different thing then just a posed photo mocking real life. this was a real moment in maybe my 2nd or 3rd time going to the workshops. 2) 4 more posts after this one before i complete the photo a day for a year from the archive thing. not a huge monumental things but a thing i set out to do and did and for me that matters. when i started this last year i was in a very weird head space even for me. i was very LOW on my opinion of my photography and i didn’t really have it organized or stored in one accessible location. i’ve worked on that all a bit and i don’t know what i look forward to tackling in 2019 or what i’ll do with this digital space on post 366 and forward. 3) revisiting questions i haven’t always had the easiest time answering. what is a fine art nude? what is a guy with camera and why did they call me one? how do workshops/shoot outs work? they just get naked and want you to take their photographs? are the more polite obvious ones. i love sharing and teaching and helping most people get to new places they want to go especially through photos but sometime people have really just tried to get there in what i guess i see as inappropriate ways or are not genuine. but regardless i understand many of you would never understand or think about how a photo like this might get made. maybe some day i’ll go back to showing up to these things i for the most part had got some photos in my own style that didn’t look just like everyone else’s. whatever it’s a monday again, ugh. #photographyworkshop #makeportraits #fineartnude #wastedframes #isthismyartiststatement (at Studio 210) https://www.instagram.com/myphotographslie/p/Bphh8nEFlG8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15gouwtvtprcf