Why should I give up anything for life? If life hasn't given up anything for me?
When they saw me draw- they said I wanted to be an artist, when they saw me write- they said I wanted to be a writer.
I grew up without expecting any dream of my own. I could never love anything just to love it, it always had to be give and take.
"that's what you need in order to survive" I keep thinking, I don't want to survive, I want to live. If I tell them I want to live they'll give me this tired look and say "then you need money".
I guess I've always been too much of a child to care. Living never meant money, it meant fairy houses and bioluminescent flowers.
I've never been smart. I know. I'm a stupid child with an overgrown body. I can't wrap my head around reality, I am not strong enough to survive this world.
If this is what living truly is, I'd rather not live at all.