Watching the blow up Lilly knew one thing from the things yelled to her was right. She was toxic. Had she just kept distance from Nibs she wouldn’t have felt like the biggest mistake of his life. Even if she couldn’t fully blame herself there was that pain - she knew she’d have to stay away. But even through the pain, and being a mistake to him too - Lilly found herself in front of a door, his door. It was the only place she really wanted to be if she would take a second to be honest with herself. With a nervous breath she reached up and knocked softly on his door. “Roger... it’s Lilly.. can you just open up, please?”
“Cancun... You know when we got here I was excited as shit to be around here. I mean how could you not be right? The whole place is beautiful, it’s a beach, everyone is drunk half the time - it was crawling with adventure. Though you can’t really leave all your problems at home with this place. Stupid fucking GG - I take that back. GG didn’t do anything wrong - people and their noses. I mean who I sleep with shouldn’t be this big of a deal honestly. not to mention everything that exploded around it.” Looking down she shrugged. “I thought I had a place I belonged - I thought I had a best friend, finally. I trusted him with every dark secret my life had.” Tearing up she just shrugged her shoulders again. “I know I’m just being over dramatic, but when you’re punched in the face and told it’s your fault? What else are you to do. I’ve been living in a a fantasy world that Nibs and I were close.” Lilly pulled her knees to her chest as she let out a few more tears. no one could see her and her real thoughts so she just let it out somewhere safe. “I know I was a mistake to him - but I never thought in a million years I would be this much of a mistake. And then just dead weight he has to look after. I can’t do that anymore - and if he’s ever going to work things out with his friends I can’t be around.” wiping at her cheeks she laughed a little. “It’s stupid - I’m fine. Really. I mean Boys will be boys right? Not sure wheat I was thinking.” She laughed sadly and buzzed her lips.”It’s like I’m losing everything on the trip, but can’t let the princess crown touch ground right?
“Whatever, the drinks here are great. School? right.. shit- I mean I’m top dancer, lead every performance. Not that anyone was really there to see it. Nibs for a few after I told him no one ever showed, up, but hey... guilt makes people do lots of things. I’m pretty excited to get out of school soon though. I found the perfect studio for teaching my own dance. I just have to work at keeping top dancer and lead in everything to ensure I’m the best of the best and I’m in. Maybe check our Broadway. Pretty bumbed my grades were kinda shit, but out well. I guess next year is to go out with a band and make sure my grades are kick ass, right? Or something like that. I have nothing but easy classes so .. should work out.”
“I think I’m falling for someone . In a way I shouldn’t. I can’t - but its there, and I don’t know what to do. he knows about everyone else - and how I am. It’s annoying because even knowing that he’s still.. around. I don’t know I can’t even talk to myself about this. Not sure I’m ever going to get it off my chest. Whatever - I mean... I went to him drunk to just be held and I’ve never felt.. safer and it sc... it scares me more then anything” She whispered softly. “ Whatever - this was a fucking hot mess ! I have to get out of here, my days here are limited - I need to get fucked up one last night. Mwah.”
