| when you said your last goodbye i died a little bit inside |
Three months. It’d been three whole months since Clarke had last
seen Bellamy Blake. She knew-- she understood why he’d needed
to leave. And for almost a month, she didn’t try to find him. She knew
that the burden of what they had needed to do was heavy-- she carried
it with her every day, the guilt threatening to crush her. ( Sometimes she
wasn’t even sure it hadn’t crushed her. ) So she knew why he had to go.
Sometimes, she wished she’d gone with him. But she also knew that one
of them had to stay. Their people needed them and if they couldn’t have
both then one would have to be enough.
But it wasn’t enough. After barely a month without Bellamy, the cracks were
starting to show. Camp life was going well, but Clarke’s mind was crumbling.
She had Monty. The pair of them had a shared darkness now, something that
bonded them forever. But without Bellamy, without the guy who had stood at
her side for so long now-- the man who had lead with her-- she felt weak. She
hated being weak. She hated that she needed him so much. But she couldn’t
deny it-- so she went looking for him. Every chance she could get, she would
leave camp, searching for him, each trip out meaning she was gone from the
camp longer and longer. Her mother hated it, tried to stop her every time but
it was pointless-- she still found ways to get out. She was nothing if not
stubborn and she wasn’t about to give up, even when she grew tired and felt
herself beginning to lose hope. She still stuck at it and managed to find hope
where others may have lost it entirely.
Even out there, alone in the dark, the place she called home countless days
ride away-- she still believed she’d find him. She had to. She couldn’t let
herself give up on it. Not when she needed him this much. Clarke woke with
a sudden start-- unaware she’d even fallen asleep beside the fire, but very
aware that she suddenly wasn’t alone. Her eyes sought out the source of
the noise that had startled her light sleep and soon, all breath was stolen
from her. She knew those eyes anywhere. “Bellamy.”
| @weaknessisdeath season three au based on this post. |
