(Weather spoons is like a famous pub and it’s everywhere in the Uk😻)
╰┈➤ They are either cooks, waiters/ waitresses, bartenders or managers working/cooking at Weatherspoons and lets just say big man, Karlheinz pops in (like he’s one of those inspectors who’s monitoring everyone and everything) yeah I cba writing more but yeah you feel me?
𖦹 | Forgets every table number.
𖦹 | Lies about orders being “on the way” (he’s not).
𖦹 | Sits in empty booths with customers mid-shift.
𖦹 | Hands out drinks from other people’s trays.
𖦹 | Pretends he’s hard of hearing to dodge complaints.
🗣️:Huh? Oh… yeah… I’ll get that… eventually."
・❥・𝐑𝐄𝐉𝐈 - 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊/ 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐑.
𖦹 | Has the kitchen running like a military camp.
𖦹 | Schedules weekly kitchen "knife inspections."
𖦹 | Shames anyone who orders chicken nuggets.
𖦹 | Writes up a full 3-page incident report if someone drops a spoon.
𖦹 | “Reworks” the pub menu into fine dining despite no one asking.
🗣️ "This is not just pub food. It is a reflection of order."
𖦹 | Brags about being the fastest server (he’s not).
𖦹 | Brags about being “Ace of Weatherspoons.”
𖦹 | Drops at least one tray per shift.
𖦹 | Eats off customers’ plates before serving.
𖦹 | Dares customers to fight him if they complain.
🗣️: "The Ace of Weatherspoons always delivers… kinda."
・❥・ 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐎 - 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑/ 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐅.
𖦹 | Refuses to make anything not dessert-related.
𖦹 | Screams if anyone touches his cakes.
𖦹 | Plates everything with too much whipped cream and wrath.
𖦹 | If he’s forced to wait tables, he stares unblinking at customers until they cry.
𖦹 | Brings Teddy to work and demands he gets staff discount.
𖦹 | Gets five-star reviews solely for flirting.
𖦹 | Names cocktails after himself.
𖦹 | Makes up rules like “Shirts off for free shots” (management disapproves).
𖦹 | Adds “secret ingredients” to drinks.
🗣️: "Mmm~ How about a little sin with your gin?"
𖦹 | Slams drinks on the table like it’s a threat.
𖦹 | Stomps around loudly so customers stop calling him.
𖦹 | Rips menus in half when frustrated.
𖦹 | Mutters "fuck this" at least 6 times per shift.
𖦹 | Will protect Yui from rude customers, but deny it after.
🗣️: "Here's your food. Don’t talk to me."
𖦹 | Plates everything like it’s Michelin-starred.
𖦹 | Writes poetic insults on receipts for customers who order "basic" dishes.
𖦹 | Keeps herbs in labeled jars alphabetically.
𖦹 | Refuses to acknowledge the existence of “bottomless wings night.”
𖦹 | Bans Yuma from seasoning anything.
🗣️: "This is not slop—it is curated cuisine."
・❥・ 𝐊𝐎𝐔 - 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑/ 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐏 ( 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 - 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃)
𖦹 | Takes selfies during service.
𖦹 | Flirts with anyone 6ft and above.
𖦹 | Forgets orders but charms his way out of it.
𖦹 | Tells tables “This’ll look SO cute on your Story~”
𖦹 | Rates his own service in the comments under fake accounts.
🗣️: "Smile for the cam, cuties~ your fries are late but I’m hot!"
𖦹 | Chucks food onto plates with zero finesse.
𖦹 | Adds 9 different spices and yells, “THAT’S FLAVOUR!”
𖦹 | Burns things and says, “Adds crunch.”
𖦹 | Gets banned from the deep fryer once a week.
𖦹 | Feeds leftovers to the alley cats.
🗣️: "OI! Who touched my basil?!"
・❥・ 𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐒𝐀 - 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ( 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑/ 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊)
𖦹 | Serves food very... gently.
𖦹 | Scares customers by apologizing for "being alive."
𖦹 | Adds chili flakes "to feel something."
𖦹 | Has a knife tucked into his apron “just in case.”
𖦹 | Cooks the best spicy dishes but cries while doing it.
🗣️: "Would you... like it to hurt… a little…?"
・❥・ 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐀 - 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑 (𝐁𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄)
𖦹 | Hates everyone but runs the pub immaculately
𖦹 | Makes the staff line up for daily “presentation inspection.”
𖦹 | Speaks to customers like he’s the king of a dying empire.
𖦹 | Refuses to call it Weatherspoons — insists it’s “The Establishment.”
𖦹 | Secretly rewrote the employee handbook in Latin.
𖦹 | Only hired because Carla didn’t want him unsupervised.
𖦹 | Complains every second.
𖦹 | Refuses to use trays: carries 6 plates in his arms like a beast.
𖦹 | Tries to fight customers who call him “kid.”
𖦹 | Once stole a bottle of Tabasco and called it a “power move.”
🗣️: "I’m not your waiter, I’m your punishment."
・❥・ 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐎 - 𝐑𝐚𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐔𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 ,𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐠, / 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫.
𖦹 | Lives in the break room. Possibly lives in the walls.
𖦹 | Sells fake IDs and mystery shots out the kitchen window.
𖦹 | Hacked the POS system to add a secret “Rat Menu.”
𖦹 | Charges £5 to “remove bad reviews” (he doesn’t).
𖦹 | Nobody knows how he got hired. Still won’t leave.
🗣️: "If it’s illegal, it’s probably a side option."
・❥・𝐘𝐔𝐈 - 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 / 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 & 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐬𝐞.
𖦹 | Works every position. All the time.
𖦹 | Has 3 breakdowns per shift and still smiles through it.
𖦹 | Apologizes for the boys 26 times an hour.
𖦹 | Keeps a cross necklace and pepper spray in her apron.
𖦹 | Knows Karlheinz is watching but won’t quit.
🗣️: "Welcome to Weatherspoons! Please don’t mind the screaming!"
⭐ KARLHEINZ’S YELP REVIEW: 2/5 STARS.
“Visited this particular Weatherspoons location as part of a routine inspection. A disappointing display of incompetence, insubordination, and questionable hygiene.
One of the waiters growled at me. A bartender offered me a drink named ‘Daddy’s Regret’. The lasagna was cold.
The dessert threatened me. Management is hanging on by a thread. Will return. Curious to see who survives.”
— Karlheinz S. (Elite Reviewer, Level 666)
💬 COMMENTS FROM THE STAFF:
╰┈➤ “2 stars is generous, honestly.”
— sent from the staff toilet while napping
╰┈➤ “For the record, the lasagna was perfectly heated before Shu dropped it on the floor. Also, I don’t make dessert threats. I enforce kitchen law.”
╰┈➤ “Oi! Ore-sama brought that lasagna out FAST, don’t blame me if it froze in fear from your vampire aura, old man.”
╰┈➤ “You’re lucky Teddy didn’t SERVE you the dessert himself. Next time, choke on the cherry.”
╰┈➤ “Heh~ I told you that cocktail would mess with your heart and your pride. You’re welcome.💋”
╰┈➤ “I growled because you sat in my section and didn’t say hi. Don’t start.”
╰┈➤ “Your lack of appreciation for the plating on the beef medallions says more about you than it does about my culinary artistry.”
╰┈➤ “You’re low-key lucky I didn’t vlog you, Karl-baby. That outfit? 2 stars at best. 💅 #MysteryDinerMyAss”
╰┈➤ “Yeah? Well, next time you come back, you’re gettin’ the ‘extra spicy’ sauce, grandpa.”
╰┈➤ “I hope… your lasagna… hurt just a little bit… that’s how I know it was made with love.”
╰┈➤ “Your presence was expected. Your opinion, however, was not requested.”
╰┈➤ “I should’ve spat in your pint. Next time, maybe I will.”
╰┈➤ “Bro leave a bad review again and see what ends up in your next pint.”
╰┈➤ “Hello Mr. Sakamaki, thank you for the feedback! 😊 I’ll be speaking with the staff individually (again).
Please consider trying our Sunday roast next time — I promise no one will bite you (intentionally).”
