☾ un -- proust questionnaire ☽
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Perfect happiness to me is being content. Um, I guess when you're perfectly happy, you're completely fine with everything you have and the people that surround you. You're not going to be asking for any more than you already have. I'm hoping one day, I could achieve perfect happiness.
What is your greatest fear?
Heh, um, well... I guess failure and losing the people I care about -- though both are obviously quite inevitable. They're both going to happen one day, and I'm not being pessimistic, I promise; I'm just being realistic.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Oh man, did I ever tell you that history was my worst subject? Okay, shoot. Um, I guess... Susan B. Anthony? Mostly because she fought for gender equality, and I do feel quite strongly about that. I actually got in a fight with one of my best friends and refused to talk to him for being sexist.
Which living person do you most admire?
Living? That's really hard... I think Laverne Cox. I really do admire everything she stands for as well. Plus, she's one of my favourite actresses!
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I really, really truly dislike the fact that I always try to please everyone, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness in the end. Even though some people say that it's quite an admirable trait, I do have to confess that it bothers me. As a person, you need to put your own needs and happiness before anyone else's, because at the end of the day, you'll only be left with yourself. I'm slowly fixing myself, though.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Yeah, I don't like seeing that trait in others as well... But I also don't like it when people are quite selfish. I believe there's a perfect balance. There's a difference between being selfish and putting your needs and happiness first. Sometimes people have a hard time understanding that.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I had to ask Asher what this meant, wow. Okay, um, I spent about $649 on my iPhone 5S because it's T-Mobile and not AT&T. Other than that (and the hotel suite Asher and I stayed in, and the groceries I bought), I don't really spend too much money.
What is your favorite journey?
I guess I'm in my favourite journey right now. I'm trying to shed off the fact that people hear my name and think of reality television. I know that the label of 'reality television star' or whatever will always be there, but it'd be nice if people also knew me as, like, a successful musician or something. That's the journey I'm on right now -- to make a name for myself.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Maybe temperance. If you want to live an extravagant life, then go for it.
On what occasion do you lie?
It's really bad, but sometimes I lie to spare the feelings of others. Besides that, I can't lie. I end up feeling really guilty and... eh, it's just all bad.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My eyebrows and thighs.
Which living person do you most despise?
I'm actually not sure. I don't think I despise anyone. Maybe there's someone out that who I dislike, but not despise 'cause I consider despising someone as basically hating them. Maybe some of the paparazzi who take some things too far.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I say 'literally' way too many times for my own good.
What is your greatest regret?
I got in between two people, and I kind of ruined something. I deeply regret that.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Music is the greatest love of my life. It's always been there for me, and I know that's super cliche of me to say, but it's the gospel truth. It's helped me through my worst times and it's been there for me through my best moments.
When and where were you happiest?
Probably when I was younger and when things were less complicated. I was oblivious to the world around me, and society was less harsh. I mean, have you seen the styles in 2004?
What is your current state of mind?
Anxious, if we're being honest. A bit happy, yeah. Also guilty. Very guilty, actually. And angry -- at myself.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
It'd be pretty great if I was more comfortable in front of cameras and under the spotlight; y'know, less anxiety and all. I have really bad stage fright, which I know is really weird since I kind of want to have a career that requires being on stage a lot. I'm working through it though.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I wish we were closer. That'd be pretty nice. Truth be told, I barely see them.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Well, I'm in the process of making a demo cd to send in to a record label, so I guess my greatest achievement is following my dreams.
What is your most treasured possession?
There's this necklace that my mum and dad told me I always wore before they adopted me. They told me that my biological mum gave it to me when I was born and my foster mum never took it off of me unless it was time for a bath. The chain for it broke and I haven't gotten around to buying a new one, but I have the charm with me at all times.
What do you most value in your friends?
I value how much they actually care. The people who I consider my friends will never let me forget that they truly do care about me, and they stick with me through thick and thin. I really like that. They don't give up on me.
What are your favorite names?
I have a thing for, like, Victorian-esque names -- or maybe really elegant French names like Annaliese, Jacquelyn, Rosalind, and so on. For boys, I don't know... I haven't really thought about it.
What is it that you most dislike?
Like, anything? I don't like bras, but it's kind of necessary for me to wear them.
What is your favorite occupation?
I may be biased here, but anything that involves performing. Music, acting, dancing, modelling... Seems like fun.
How would you like to die?
Wow, uh... In my sleep, because apparently that's painless and peaceful.
If you were to die and could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
A puppy or a kitten, probably.
What is your motto?
"You do you, and I do me."
Who are your heroes in real life?
Oh, um... I'm not sure. My friends and family because they tend to save me from myself.
