Aug 1, 2021
Roommate: *hears the door shut very loudly* “Wha- What happen?!”
Me: “oh that was my love expectations running out of the door”
[silence]
Roommate: “……I think you need help”
Me: “…Ma’am you have never been so right in your life”
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from Canada
seen from Argentina
seen from Canada
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Philippines
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from Mexico
seen from Germany
Roommate: *hears the door shut very loudly* “Wha- What happen?!”
Me: “oh that was my love expectations running out of the door”
[silence]
Roommate: “……I think you need help”
Me: “…Ma’am you have never been so right in your life”
*a spotlight at the podium* Hello welcome to my eulogy, here today we shall talk about how I died reading about the love that never could…..*wipes a single tear* but alas! A happy ever after is just a fairy tale….*keeps on talking* [people in the grocery store looking at each other wondering why a crazy chick is holding a stem of celery taking to herself amongst an audience of tomatoes]
*types in google* [How to climb a large tree]..........Don’t worry Tora I’ve been training for this
If my last words were “let’s drink beer all night long” I wouldn’t be mad.
Could someone turn up the AC?
*searches under the bed* *moves pillows* *looks in closet* [roommate comes in]
Roommate: “hey..uh..what are you looking for, you’ve been in here for over an hour”
Me: *still searching* “my dignity Barbara……..my fucking dignity”
“And then they fu—” *gets hit with lamp*
*breathes*…….[opens dairy]
note to self: trip more often, you’ll never know who you’ll land on….