Thank you so so much @sassenachwaffles for being my beta for this chapter!
Ch. 1 - Sutures | Ch. 2 - Maybe This Time | Ch. 3 - Movie Date | Ch. 4 - Two Pink Lines | Ch. 5 - Boss’s Boss
2015
I met Jamie Fraser three months ago and of three things I was certain. One: he was the only person that could truly make me laugh when I was having a shitty day. Two: Jamie was as stubborn as a rock when it came to just about anything. And three: I couldn’t live without him.
One day after work, Jamie picked me up and instantly knew that that something was off with me.
“Do ye want to talk about it, Sassenach?” He asked, blocking me from getting into the passenger seat.
I shook my head and said nothing. Sighing, he kissed the top of my head before opening my door for me and I climbed inside, wrapping my arms tightly around myself.
After driving for twenty minutes, I realized we weren’t headed in the direction of either of our houses. “Where are we going?”
“Och, I thought we’d go to the Christmas markets, do a bit of shopping and lookin’ around,” he said with a cautious smile, still wary of my off kilter mood.
“Fine,” I groaned as I looked out the window. I knew I should tell him what was wrong, but I was afraid to bring it up… to pop our perfect bubble.
Jamie was respectful though and kept to himself for the rest of the drive, never once asking me what was wrong, even though I knew it must be killing him. Snow had begun to fall lightly and my shoes made crunching sounds as we walked to the markets. On any other day, I would love this — being here with him, sipping hot chocolate and buying Christmas presents. But not today.
“Are ye hungry, Claire?” Jamie asked, his use of my name caught me off guard.
I looked up at him and saw the concern in his eyes, “Not just now,” I smiled weakly, “Maybe later though.”
It was crowded at the markets, and Jamie held my hand tightly as we made our way through the busy sea of people. We turned the corner and started walking towards the Christmas tree maze. It was all so beautiful, but nothing could change my mood, or lift my spirits.
“Want to do the maze, Claire?” Jamie asked.
I nodded, knowing that he brought me here to try and cheer me up. I needed to tell him.
“Jamie,” I pulled on his hand as he started walking away and he turned back to face me.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Looking up into his blue eyes, I suddenly felt nervous and scared at the same time.
“Ye can tell me anything, Sassenach.” Jamie smiled, wrapping both his arms around my waist, and pressed his forehead against mine, creating a safe cocoon.
I took a deep breath, and placed both my hands on his chest. “Today at work, there was a husband and wife that came into the emergency room. They were in a terrible car crash…”
“Mo nighean donn,” Jamie said softly, squeezing my waist and letting me continue.
“And I’ve seen people injured before, obviously,” I sniffed and buried my head into the crook of his neck. “But today… today is the ten year anniversary of my parents death.”
I felt Jamie’s body tense against mine, and he held me tighter.
“How?” He said quietly.
“Car crash,” I felt tears prickle my eyes.
“Why didn’t ye tell me before, Sassenach?” Jamie pulled back and I looked up at him through watery eyes. “I wouldna have brought ye here…” he motioned around to all the people.
“I just didn’t want to burst our happy bubble. Things are going so well,” I gave him my best attempt at a half smile.
“Aye, they are. Do ye trust me, Claire?” Jamie brushed his thumb across my cheek softly, “Do ye trust me wi’ yer heart?”
I avoided looking at his eyes until the last second and when I did, I nearly fell down. His eyes sparkled, filled with tears of his own. “Yes, I do, Jamie.”
“Then trust that I’ll protect it, no matter what.” He smiled warmly, “I want to be there for ye when yer havin’ a bad day. And I want ye to know that whatever pain ye bear, whatever memories that haunt ye… I’ll bear that pain as well.”
Jamie dipped his head, slowly pressing his lips against mine. He tasted salty and I thought that I must taste the same. He held me to him for awhile — it could have been minutes or hours, I lost all sense of time.
I took a deep breath and looked up at him once again, “Thank you.”
“Anythin’ for ye, Sassenach.” Jamie kissed me and then took a look at our surroundings. “I ken ye might no want to be here right now, and I promise to take ye home, but only if…” He raised one brow, “I can make ye laugh.”
“Make me laugh?” I asked, a bit confused.
“Aye, if I can properly make ye laugh, cheer ye up a bit, then we’ll go home and we can bury ourselves under the covers and I’ll not ask anything of ye.” Jamie attempted a wink and that alone nearly had me laughing.
I took a step back and place both hands on my hips, “Alright… give it your best shot, Fraser.”
Bringing his hand to his chin, he squinted, as if thinking of his best jokes. “Aye, I’ve got one… surely ye’ll laugh at this.” He grinned and took on his natural born storyteller stance, “What’s the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in the bath?”
I shook my head, “I don’t know… what’s the difference?”
“One has hope in her soul, and the other has soap in her hole!” Jamie said, laughing at his own joke. All I did was crack half a smile, giving him a look that read ‘that’s the best you got?’
“Hmmm, a tough wee biscuit are ye?” Jamie hummed.
“I don’t find nuns and their… holes particularly funny.” I grinned and tapped my fingers along my crossed arms. It had actually been a funny joke but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction on the first try.
“Alright… another one then.”
He clapped his hands together, “Sassenach, what’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?”
“Snowballs,” I replied with a smirk and Jamie stared back, his mouth gaping.
“Twas my joke, mo ghraidh… ye stole it!” He laughed. “Okay… one more wee joke. Surely this will get ye rollin’.” Jamie took a step forward, placing his hands on my hips. “Yer about as stubborn as me, Sassenach.”
“No one is as stubborn as you, Jamie,” I rolled my eyes slightly.
“Aye, that may be true. It’s a Fraser thing, ye’ve met my family after all,” he chuckled softly.
“Tell me the joke,” I said, pushing my hand against his chest. I decided that even if it wasn’t funny, I would laugh at this next one. He had promised to take me home if I laughed, and I wanted very badly to be curled up with him in bed.
“How does a hedgehog make love?” Jamie said, all while sliding his hands over my arse, and pressing himself against me.
My breath was coming up short and I looked up at him, “I don’t know, how?”
“Verra…” he kissed my cheek, “carefully.”
I snorted, covering my mouth with my hand and started to actually laugh. “You ridiculous human being.”
“I made ye laugh though, didn’t I, Sassenach?!” Jamie smiled, clearly thrilled with his achievement.
I leaned up on my toes and kissed him soundly, “Yes. You did make me laugh, thank you.”
“Now we can finally go home,” he squeezed my side and started to walk back to the car, but I stayed put. “What?”
“You bring me all the way here, and yet you haven’t even bought me a cup of hot chocolate…” I pursed my lips.
“Och, where are my manners, mo ghraidh. We must see to that at once!” Jamie laughed, then led us in the direction of the nearest warm sugary beverage.
That was the first night I knew… that I would never be able to live without him. That I always needed him by my side, when the days were good and when the days were not so kind. My heart was connected to his by a fragile string, and over time I hoped our bond would grow, become strong and outlast anything that came our way.
Present Day
Shifting in bed, I let out a deep sigh and rolled to my side. At five months pregnant, carrying twins I already felt gigantic and I still had months to go. The doctor said the twins were about the size of grapefruits at this stage and ever since our last ultrasound, Jamie hadn’t stopped referring to them as his ‘wee grapefruits’.
So when Jamie walked in our bedroom, carrying a tray of breakfast, I nearly choked on my own saliva when I saw two grapefruits, sliced and ready to be eaten.
“Jamie!” I said, eyes wide at the fruit in question.
“What is it, Sassenach?” He stammered and looked at me with alarm in his eyes. Quickly he set the tray on the bed and was next to me in a flash. “Is it the bairns?”
“No, it’s not the babies. Jamie…” I looked at the tray, “I can’t eat grapefruits.”
He looked back at me confused, “Is it the fruit? Only a wee joke, mo cridhe.” Jamie smirked, stretching his hand across my belly.
“Well I don’t think it’s so funny to be eating our babies, now is it?”
Jamie gasped, his eyes wide, “Are the bairns makin’ yer head soft, Sassenach? Surely ye dinna think these fruits are actually the babes?”
I opened and then closed my mouth, watching him smirk, his eyes alight with mischief. “No. Of course I don’t. But it’s just… odd, to think of them as fruits and then to see it.” I stared at the tray in front of me.
“Fine, I’ll take the grapefruits back to kitchen and ye’ll no have to see them anymore,” Jamie kissed my forehead and then picked up both fruits, cradling them to his chest. “C’mon wee Tavish, and ye too wee Tavia.”
“Excuse me? What did you just call the grapefruits?” I laughed and Jamie turned back to me, still cradling the fruits.
“Tavish for the lad and Tavia for the lassie,” he said simply. “The names mean ‘twin’… ’tis only somethin’ to call them until we decide on a name.”
“Well you can be sure, my lad, that we will not be calling our children Tavish and Tavia,” I smirked. “I haven’t thought about baby names at all actually.”
Jamie placed the fruits back on the tray and came to sit at my feet, bringing them in his lap. “Do ye have any particular names in mind, Sassenach?” He pushed his thumb into the arch of my feet and made an audible groan.
“Beatrice for a girls name?” I said, “Has a proper British sound to it, I suppose.”
“Aye, it does. But the bairns willna be in England, Sassenach.” Jamie lifted his brows. “What about Malcolm? After one of my middle names…”
“Malcolm Fraser…” I said, sounding it out on my tongue, “A top choice to be sure, and what about a girls name?”
“What about a name of a flower? Ye like all the green stuff, ye ken.” Jamie smiled, continuing to move his fingers against the soles of my feet.
“Lily.” I said, “Lily Fraser?”
“Lilidh, of course.” Jamie said.
“That’s what I said… Lily.”
“Spelled L-i-l-i-d-h. ’Tis the Gaelic spelling.” He smiled.
“Malcolm and Lilidh Fraser,” I said, rubbing my hand over my protruding belly. “Do you two like those names?” Just then I felt a gentle kick from the inside and made a sort of squealing noise, making Jamie jump.
“What?” He moved closer and I grabbed his hand, sliding it over my belly.
“Just wait,” I said. A few moments later, I felt another kick and Jamie looked down at my belly, rubbing it slowly.
“The rascals,” he laughed, “Ye dinna hurt yer mam, ye ken. Ye both be kind to her!” Jamie bent his head, placing a kiss on the bump before leaning up to kiss me.
“If they like the names, then so do I, Sassenach,” leaning his forehead against mine, I brought one hand to cup his cheek.
“Of course, it’s two girls or two boys, we’ll need more options.”
“Aye, I’ve plenty of good strong Scottish names in mind,” Jamie kissed me and then climbed next to me in bed. He lifted my shirt, bringing it over my belly, and ran his hand slowly over it.
“I love ye, Claire. I want to thank ye if I havena already… for carrying our bairns. For being so brave.” He kissed me tenderly.
“It’s my pleasure, Jamie.” I smiled, rubbing my hand against the scruff of his cheek. Jamie shifted against me, so his head rested on top of the bump. Sitting up slightly from the pillows, I lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the ground. Jamie turned his head, his eyes now fixed on my hardened nipples.
“Would it hurt ye if I-“
“No, it wouldn’t… I don’t think.”
With his hands still covering my belly, he lifted his head and placed his mouth over one nipple, sucking on the sensitive nub. “Christ,” I sighed, moaning from the sensitivity.
“Alright?” He asked and I nodded. Treating my other breast with the same affection, he began to suck, and flattened his tongue on my peak. My head rolled to the side and I wound my hand at the nape of his neck, just holding him against me. With our babies growing inside of me, and my husband loving me with his mouth, I sighed happily, completely content… a feeling so unlike anything in all my life.
