Too Hot to Handle Relationships???
I am so excited to talk about this week’s topic because I am going to talk about one of my favourite reality TV shows called Too Hot to Handle. In a gist, this show is a dating show where a group of super attractive single people stayed together on a tropical island isolated from the outside world. The goal is to help the contestants form proper and meaningful relationships, which then they could win $100,000.
These people are chosen through their Instagram profiles based on their good looks and lifestyle. In the first episode, some of them were bragging about their love for hook-up culture, parties, mingling with attractive people and hoping to find “love” on the island (Walker 2020).
Upon watching this, I genuinely thought this show was stupid and filled with people who mistook love for lust and that everyone was only in need for the money. But I was wrong because this show exceeded my expectations!
Yes to Self-Improvement and Building Positive Relationships
The show stands out among other typical dating shows because the host is an artificial intelligence bot called Lana, responsible for observing and guiding the contestants in building spiritual and emotional journeys to improve their personal and romantic relationships through various workshops (Walker 2020). So, it is almost like a social experiment on a person’s growth overcoming their temptation between lust, money, and self-growth. Although there is a factor of the ultimate cash prize, I could definitely see each contestant's improvement towards the end. Some of them managed to be vulnerable with their partner and talked about their past, some have learnt of their self-worth, and some have become more considerate of others.
I think this show is excellent at capturing and educating the audience on the importance of building positive relationships with ourselves and others. The key point is that relationship is more than just physical attraction, and love is more than just a feeling but a continuous effort of improving ourselves. In each episode, you can uncover the various attachment style we possess, the values we carry, and what we look for in others, including the power of vulnerability.
A psychotherapist, Sana Powell, did an interesting review of this reality show from a therapist’s perspective. She said these people might have an avoidant attachment style because they run away from genuine relationships (Powell 2020), which may explain their love for the hook-up culture that revolves around temporary meaningless connections.
In support of this, many Gen Zs are becoming more aware of their attachment style, which they discuss with their potential life partners. This shows that current generations care more about being with someone who blends with them well rather than how attractive they look (Klein 2022). However, the downside of this reality show is that it might show unrealistic expectations of relationships.
Didn’t I say that this show teaches our attachment style and the importance of vulnerability, and now I am saying it’s unrealistic? Okay, hear me out.
Sure, those are awesome things we should apply in every type of relationship, but this show was filmed around a month. You can’t possibly fit everything in just 8 to 10 episodes. People don’t improve over a short period, and there must be consistent effort. That is a lot of work, and it can be exhausting!
Julia Arbit, the senior vice president of Insights, researched that only 1 in 10 Gen Zs are willing to commit to being committed (Klein 2022). Most of us don’t want to be in a relationship because some are still finding their identity. Some don’t look for one person but think different people fulfil different needs, be it sexual or romantic or whatever else (Klein 2022). I have no say that hook-up culture is wrong or good, but it no doubt create confusion and heartbreak.
Nowadays, dates don’t necessarily mean you are interested in the person. There are people in a situationship with no need for labelling because they don’t want any responsibilities or expectations. Plus, sex is not as sacred as it used to be because people can jump onto it despite knowing each other for only 3 hours (Iris 2023). On top of that, reality TV in the 21st century normalizes superficiality and disloyalty, and those with these traits are rewarded. The combination format of selected fly-on-the-wall scenes and 1-to-1 interviews with the producers boost the “real” effect of reality TV, despite it being strategically coordinated to create a cohesive narrative (Berman 2022).
So, reality TV isn’t really the reality. The end goal of reality TV is our attention, and they are conquering it. I believe it is up to us what we want to take away from the shows. Most importantly, we are responsible to differentiate the good and the bad that comes with them. Nevertheless, if you are wondering what show to watch next, do give Too Hot To Handle a chance and maybe you can let me know what you think of it.
References
Berman, J 2022, Reality TV Has Reshaped Our World, Whether We Like It or Not, Time, Time, viewed 21 April 2023, <https://time.com/collection/reality-tv-most-influential-seasons/6199108/reality-tv-influence-on-world/>.
Iris, A 2023, The Most WTF Things About Today’s Hookup Culture, Hype MY, Hype MY, viewed 21 April 2023, <https://hype.my/2023/312855/the-most-wtf-things-about-todays-hookup-culture/>.
Klein, J 2022, Are Gen Z more pragmatic about love and sex?, Bbc.com, BBC, viewed 21 April 2023, <https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220104-are-gen-z-more-pragmatic-about-love-and-sex>.
Powell, S. I 2020, ‘Too Hot to Handle’: A Therapist’s Netflix Review, Curly Therapist, Curly Therapist, viewed 21 April 2023, <https://sanapowell.com/2020/04/30/too-hot-to-handle-a-therapists-netflix-review/>.
Walker, M. M 2020, Why I Love Netflix’s ‘Too Hot To Handle’ - VOX ATL, VOX ATL, viewed 21 April 2023, <https://voxatl.org/why-i-love-netflixs-too-hot-to-handle/>.












