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it'll be okay it'll be okay (it has to be)

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#journal moodboards #7.17.25 #elle moodboards #are we nearing 'making too many moodboards to a point where it's no longer mentally beneficial' territory? maybe!#[neptune]#weighted bones #woohooooooo man i LOVE that i get to start using that tag again!!!! /INCREDIBLY SARCASTIC #shoutout to those two (2) songs for getting me through yesterday

as if driving wasn’t stressful enough on its own, uh, how the frick is one supposed to drive safely with a migraine

#went to pick up my friend from the airport with a bad headache and was like ‘ok not ideal but it’s mild so it’s fine’#then progressively got worse the whole drive to her house until I immediately crashed on her couch once we were out of the car #gonna nap here until I feel capable of driving back home but like. um. how am I gonna #navigate this when I have to drive to work every day??#cool. cool #I love driving I love being chronically ill I love taking up so much space in the world in ways I cannot control 🙃🙃🙃#elle rambles #weighted bones #I tried talking to her from the couch and kept slurring my words. and if I think too hard abt it I might have an anxiety attack #this is so awesome and cool and great and yay #I’m so grateful I can rest on her couch as long as I need to at least #and she got me blankets and tea ;__;#[rw]#the future is now

was it real? was it real? was any of it real?

#journal moodboards #9.7.25 #(howww are we a week into september already. i. feel like the last week didn't exist)#[neptune]#studio ghibli summer #elle moodboards #had a spike of anxiety while watching an old video clip which made me realize maybe none of this has been fully processed yet #ugh. i'm sick of processing.#[a] & [j] are Both here and i'm realizing neither of them are having a good time. hhg #weighted bones #<- oh yeah THAT TOO how do i keep forgetting pivotal moments of last year. hhhh

love wondering if [pain in head] is a migraine or regular headache and then suddenly getting hit with nausea + light-headedness + blurry vision. really clears up any confusion

#weighted bones #made it through my shift at work thank you God #was real iffy there for a minute bc. like. I can’t really faint On The Job #elle rambles #the amount of times I’ve done box breathing during my work shifts is getting almost amusing at this point

what are you so afraid of?

#okay two things:#1. i'm gonna reblog this privately with an addition bc the public internet does not to see the list of things i'm afraid of rn sdljsd #secondly i know this is a venty moodboard but don't let that fool you i did actually have a lovely day today #and i am actively choosing to dwell on all of the sweet things that filled me up today instead of the brain fungi that wormed their way in #at the end #like no! just bc i got triggered and anxious and stuck in my brain doesn't mean that negates all the rest of the day that i #worked hard to enjoy!! anxiety doesn't get to take that from me! >:[#so i'm making this moodboard as a tangible place to put the anxieties so they don't grow through my brain anymore tonight #while also thanking God for my comfy dress & the weather & no migraine today & a video call with a friend & the ability to rest & care #for myself after yesterday <3 #journal moodboards #10.01.25 #elle moodboards #[dco]#weighted bones #among other things but those are the Main #noticed while washing dishes tonight that i'm anxious about work tomorrow bc i'm scared of another migraine. so that's . fun :pensiverat:#when i KNOW my migraines are worsened/exacerbated by anxiety. it's like. i get anxious about having a migraine and then anxious about the #fact i'm anxious about having a migraine thumbs uppp

while on one hand [chronic illness] flare-ups are definitely painful & challenging to deal with, i must say they are about twice as bearable now that i know What Is Going On and am not having an anxiety attack triggered by Any negative sensation in my body

#lately any time I’m lying in bed wiped out from my chronic illness #I’m reminded of lying in bed with severe anxiety any time I had a flare-up last year [2024; still catching up to the new year]#and like. yeah I’ve lost the rest of my day and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck #but I can just Rest??? I can just lie here and wait for my body to feel better without immediately wrestling an anxiety attack???#it’s honestly wonderful in comparison #I know what my body is doing and why and what it needs #my heart rate is slow and calm and normal and I just need to wait to feel better #I really had not understood how much my anxiety was tied to my health in 2023/4 until my health suddenly got answers #wild times #gonna go back to not looking at screens and continuing to be grateful for the peace #weighted bones #elle rambles

it's okay. your body is not trying to hurt you. you have answers now, little one. your body is weary and wounded but it is still safe. it's okay. we're okay. you don't have to be so afraid.

#[lg-e]#weighted bones #elle moodboards #journal moodboards #3.7.25 #wasn't expecting today's discovery to bring such a relief to Her in particular but alright then <33

🩻

#i cannot believe i lived for a year with debilitating chronic illness that had no identifiable root #and would send me into near-daily anxiety attacks on top of the physical symptoms #and I saw multiple doctors and I went to the ER and no one knew what was wrong #and then a year later on a random friday afternoon i’m suddenly met with answers #why did it take so long but also the utter relief……#for all of you who are waiting/looking for answers or diagnoses or closure or clarity I pray you can receive it soon 💚💚💚#elle rambles #weighted bones

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