#weirdhappenings

[sleepybluehaze]

Stuck on Fire 🔥

About 3 years ago I was really going through it. Recovering from the deceptions and humiliations that lead to my divorce. Learning to accept I needed a new view for my future as well as a more realistic view of the relationship I just came from.

I’ve always been intuitive but sometimes it’s a fine line between intuition and anxiety. Often I can’t tell the difference.

It was Tuesday and Tuesday is counseling day. My mother also wanted me to go give my grandma a shower after I was done. I agreed.

I dropped the kids off to school and was back around 830. The dog and I went immediately to my room and I smoked some weed and napped until about 10. I then got cleaned up and ready to head to counseling. I was going to leave my dog home as I usually do but I always feel guilty. At that time I didn’t work so I literally spent most time with him. I reassure him. I will be back in awhile and I miss him. When I emerged from my room and headed towards the door I noticed the house was kinda warm. It wasn’t sunny or warm outside and it was warmer than my room, which is always a sauna unless it’s dead winter. And it’s not.

It was kind of weird but I didn’t think about it too much. But as I left I felt dread and extreme sadness in leaving my dog. I always am sad to leave him alone but today it felt worse. I thought well I could take him and leave him in the car but i wasn’t sure if it would get too hot since counseling is 50 minutes.

I drive to counseling and I kept worrying about a fire. Like in my head I just kept thinking what if the house catches on fire and my dog dies?? I almost turned around but stopped myself. Quit being ridiculous. This is not the first time I’ve gone semi psycho off of anxiety about the dog’s well being. I talked myself down.

But I did mention it in counseling. How I just kept thinking fire, fire, fire. We talked about how previously I held super anxiety about him under the bed and that it would fall on him and crush him. I ended up buying a new bed with drawers underneath so he couldn’t get under there and I’d stop worrying. I’d also banned grapes and chicken wings from the house because they were dangerous to dogs. Yes I knew I was being a little extreme but I adore this little animal.

After counseling I know I need to hurry to get to my grandmas because she needs a shower quickly so my mom can take her to the doctor after work. But I can’t stop thinking about the dog. So I decide I’m driving home to get him and then I wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

And I did this. I barely stepped in the house to feel the temperature but it wasn’t on fire. I didn’t care I was taking my pooch.

We proceeded to grandmas and I completed her bath and was done about 2pm. I didn’t need to pick up the kids until about 430. I return home and go directly to my room. I close the door and smoke a bowl and pass out. I sleep until about 415 and I wake up. It’s time to get the kids and I decide of course to take the dog because my mind is still on fire.

When I get out of my room I’m legit thinking about fire because the house is absolutely unnaturally warm. Before it was a question if I was trippin but now I knew that something was off.

If it wasn’t winter the two heaters in our house don’t work. The pilot lights go out and we never really need it the rest the year so it stays that way. But the warmth made me examen both the heaters. The one upstairs was right next to my room so it was easy to see it hadn’t been on.

Downstairs was the same. It was off and I checked and the pilot light was out and it wouldn’t turn on anyways.

I turned the corner into the living room and kitchen and that’s when I saw it.

In my kitchen my stove had one burner on, the right front burner and it was on FULL BLAST. Full blast, the long flames went up unnaturally high. I had not stepped foot in the kitchen all day. Not since before 8am when I took the kids to school. None of us had used the stove in any sort of way. Even when I was in the kitchen earlier it was a quick in and out for snacks.

I said outloud “oh my god” and I promise you a chill ran up my spine. I ran into the kitchen and shut off the burner. It had melted literally everything on the side of the stove. It was black under the fan in that area. Another weird fact was I never even use that burner because it (usually) barely works at all. Even when set on “high” it barely qualifies as low. I have complained about it to the landlords but they don’t know the answer.

I am enternally shook. So many thoughts through my head. I could not get FIRE out of my head all day and no fucking doubt that is what would have happened shortly if I hadn’t noticed it when I did. The other thing is my utter confusion on how it got turned on. The kids didn’t fuck with the stove and even if they somehow randomly did they wouldn’t just leave it on. And it blew my mind that the only time we had to have accidentally turned it on was before 8am and it was currently 420pm so it has been on 8.5 hours at that time. 8.5 hours at possibly full blast.

My mind was blown and I was scared. And thankful that I had picked up my dog and now I’m much more willing to investigate or trust my intuition when it comes through. Even if it doesn’t make sense I often just address it.

Of course being who I am, I questioned something beyond the normal range of explanation for the burner like that. It did seem ominous. Darker room and just bam a huge flame blasting out of the stove for hours and hours, no real explanation how it happened or why my thoughts all day were overcome by thoughts of fire.

Ever since that day I have never, EVER left the house without making sure the burner knobs are off. I did consider maybe the cat had accidentally somehow turned it on? Seemed as good as explanation of any other. It was an unexplained event but it sticks out in my mind still to this day. Luckily, it’s never happened again.

[brianwestchest]

Day 473- Lights

When the lights go down in the City And the sun shines on the bay I want to be there in my City

So you think you’re lonely Well my friend I’m lonely too I want to get back to my City by the bay

It’s sad, oh there’s been mornings out on the road without you, Without your charms,

Tywana’s in Kentucky again this weekend.  So, I have a day or so on my own. The Buckeyes manage to lose in primetime to Penn State.  But, i was prepared for a stumble from this young team with all of these primetime road games. I’m not too upset. i stay up to watch the SNL cold opening.  I can’t miss Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump after the third debate.  Then, I head upstairs to bed.  As I turn to climb the stairs I notice the light on the ceiling fan is already on. This has been a common occurrence lately.  I don’t know what time it comes on.  But, many nights when we head up the stairs, we find it’s already on. I climb into bed and quickly fall asleep.

I wake up around 6 o’clock, my usual time.  I’m tired, though. I think I’m going to sleep in today. I roll over and fall back to sleep.  Around 8 o'clock, the light on the ceiling fan comes on again. I open my eyes and look at it. “Where is that remote?”  Before I can even reach for it, the light goes off.   Then, it comes on again.  Then, the lights do this little dance, flickering off and on, dimming and getting brighter.  I say “Good morning, Shayna.”   It goes off and on once or twice more. Then it just stops. The whole thing takes a minute, maybe two.  

As I lie there trying to decide on what I’m going to do today, my dreams come back to me and I recall I had a dream about Shayna.  She was little about 4 or 5 years old I guess. I spotted her from across the room. She was so beautiful, just like she was when she was in the body. It was a very large room. She was playing with other kids.  I knew she wasn’t supposed to be here and that if I pushed too hard, the connection would break and she’d be gone. I went up to her and said hi to her. I asked her for a hug and wanted her to sit in my lap, just for a moment. She was so busy playing she didn’t want to do it. I knew I couldn’t try too hard to persuade her because the connection was tenuous. She agreed to sit in my lap.   It was so nice. Then, the scene shifted. We were in a room that had a ceiling that had to be 15 feet high. There was a shelf at about 10 feet with a bunch of candy bars on it of different types. Shayna was asking me to reach them for her and show them to her so she could pick some. My arms magically extended high enough to pick them up and show them to her so that she could choose them.  That’s it. Then, the dream was over.  As I recall, the dream, I recall the feeling of seeing her face, talking to her and holding her and what joy and peace I had in that dream state.

It’s a brisk, sunny morning. I take my walk at a leisurely pace listening to some NPR this morning rather than my usual spiritual stuff. Just as I’m finishing up my walk, I look down at the sidewalk in front of me and a monarch butterfly is sitting right in the middle of the sidewalk.  We rarely see monarchs where I live in Ohio. I don’t know their migration cycle and whether this is normal for it to be here in late October or not.  It’s only about 38º this morning, too. I wonder if maybe it’s dead, but as I get close to it, it takes off and flies out of sight.

I decide to cut the grass.  There will probably only be one or two more cuttings this season and I will have another milestone behind me.  I decide to listen to some Journey.  One of the interesting things about the phase I’m in now is I can see a deeper meaning in things I once took only literally. Lyrics that I might not have paid much attention to before take on more symbolic and larger meaning.  Lights- a song about the band missing San Francisco when they were on the road, becomes a song about homesickness in general and I’m feeling really homesick. I’m reading a book that describes what Home is like.  We communicate without using words.  There’s no longing to be with someone.  You think of them and you’re there.  There’s no time, no distance, no space to separate us.  This place is the the road. Home is where Shayna is where the Lights are shining. The signs are nice.  The trick with the ceiling fan lights is much appreciated.  But, I want to see the City Lights again.

[brianwestchest]

Day 316- Shayna Shows Up

The Derby Party went off without a hitch for the 9th year in a row (let's just go with 9, we lost count. It might be 8). About 30-40 people showed up. It's always been just adults, but the kids are getting to be adults now, so a few kids showed up. The RSVP regrets are always interesting. It's still mostly around our kids' schedules, but we had a unique one this year. A neighbor we have known for nearly 20 years, whose house I walk past twice a day and whose daughter we watched grow up, texts this afternoon to say they can't come to the party because their daughter is getting married (here in town) today. We had no idea. That's going to be hard to top. The weather is perfect. The forecast was for 78º and thunderstorms which is not good for Derby. Typically we have the windows open and our house gets very warm in the late afternoon even without 40 people stuffed into one room (no one ever leaves the kitchen if they're in the house). Fortunately, the forecasters are wrong. I think it barely gets above 70º and the rain holds off. It seems every year there is a threat of it being too warm or too cold or rainy, but at the time of the party it's always great. I decided to give Tywana her Mother's Day gift from Shayna a day early. Shayna wouldnt' have been able to wait until Mother's Day. This is wild. I get offers every day to receive products in exchange for reviewing them on Amazon. A manufacturer of mugs and glasses asked me if I'd like to review their product. They sent a coupon code and a link to one of their mugs. I don't know how many mugs they have exactly, but it's probably in the dozens. The one they asked me to review says "I love how we all know I'm your favorite child". I thought to myself "Well, I can take the mug, but I'm not going to give it to my mother. That's not something I'd say." I thought of giving it to Kayla to give to Ty, but Kayla wouldn't say that. So, I reviewed it and put it under my desk trying to think of a niece or nephew to give it to. Then it hit me. This was from Shayna for Tywana. Mother's Day was coming up. So, I decide to give it to her on Mother's Day. When I present it to her and tell her the story, Kayla puts on her troll face and exclaims "Shayna! Still here!" What I didn't know is Shayna used to say something very similar to this to Tywana when Kayla was around saying "I know I'm your favorite, you just can't say it when Kayla's around. That's OK." We do a pool for the winner of the race. Typically our friend Amy is in charge of setting it up, but Amy's late this year. I couldn't care less about gambling. Tywana puts our niece in charge of preparing the slips to draw for the horses. Tywana draws for us. We get Nyquist. Just before the race, someone mentions to Tywana that Nyquist is the favorite. OK.... Maybe we have a chance of winning this year. Rich and Ada aren't here (they win all the time) and we've drawn the favorite. The race goes off. It's too loud in the room to actually hear the call, but I see Nyquist is in second place early in the race. The horses near the front never seem to win, but my interest is piqued a bit. As they cross the finish line I think I see number 13 on the winning jockey's sleeve. Yep. It's Nyquist. Nyquist is number 13 (Shayna's birthday and one of the numbers we're supposed to look for from her). Also, the jockey is wearing purple silks. A synchronicity and a sign that Shayna is here today. I miss Shayna terribly during the day. Her favorite cousin is here and Shayna would love to be right here in the mix. As we eat the deviled eggs, I think of Shayna. As I'm making the barbecue I'm thinking of her. Somehow during the party, at one moment, for about five or ten minutes, everyone was inside and I got a moment on the deck by myself to just sit and think about her. I realize that one day events without her will be the new normal. Well, they are the new normal now, but will I ever get used to it? I don't really want to get used to it. Even with 30 people in the house, I'm still talking to her. After we clean up the house, we hit the hay. Speaking of new normal, it's strange to hear other people in the house once we've closed the bedroom doors. My brother, his wife and his son are spending the night and Kayla's home. I used to love to hear the sounds of the girls going to bed at night or even hearing them in the bathroom in the middle of the night. I miss that. Around 4 AM I wake up. My heart feels like a stone in my chest. I'm not really sure what's going on. I just feel an extremely profound sense of sadness. It was great having the signs from Shayna today. The mug, the winner of the race (and we actually won $50). Awesome. But, I still can't wait to see her again. I'm one Derby Day closer.

[brianwestchest]

Day 220- Signs?

This morning I am thinking about the events of yesterday I wonder if we got signs from Shayna. The song “Dance With My Father Again” coming up in my shuffle, the game with a former Heat player being on TV as we came into the bar for lunch, the hawk in the tree (which I have never seen at our place). My dream last night. My rational mind tries to find natural explanations for things I perceive as signs.  My spirit wants to believe.

As I look out the window at the blanket of snow I wonder if we got more signs when it was warm. Butterflies, feathers, hummingbirds. I wonder if maybe the “energy” is lower in the winter and it’s harder to get signs through.  Maybe in the spring we’ll get more again. Just as the thought crosses my mind, I hear Shayna (in my mind’s ear) say “I can do signs in the winter.” and a cardinal flies right across the yard. Cardinals are known to be representative of visits from loved ones. And the thought “I can do signs in the winter” preceded the appearance of the cardinal by just a second or two.

[brianwestchest]

Day 180- Hangar 718

Buckle up. This is going to be a long story, but I think it’s worth it. At least it’s worth noting for me.  I have to give you a little background for it to have meaning.

I have been working on my intuition, trying to recognize synchronicities in my life, that type of thing.  A couple of days ago my buddy asked me to watch Star Wars The Force Awakens for a second time at the afternoon showing. I rarely go to the movies and I never see a film twice.  Why not?  I’m working on being more spontaneous.  So, I agree to go.  Maybe I’ll notice something new this time around and it’s a chance to check out the new deluxe theater that serves dinner and has leather recliners.  During the movie, there is a scene where they are looking for Rey and Kylo Ren (the bad guy) mentions hangar 718.  I think he mentions it twice. I don’t know why, but for some reason the number sticks out in my head this time. I didn’t even notice it when I saw it on Christmas day.  I have a weird thing with numbers. I play with them in my head when I see them, adding and subtracting, dividing and multiplying. As I pass mailboxes on my run, I will manipulate the numbers in my mind. I do the same thing with license plates. This started back in fifth grade when I had Mrs. Richards as my teacher.  She taught us some techniques with numbers that still help keep my mind occupied. Anyway, I start to think about this number 718.  I listened to a PodCast this morning and the woman mentioned getting the lottery numbers in a dream.  I’ve been hearing that seeing repeating numbers like 111 or 222 or 777 can have significance.  718 is an awfully random number though.  Why is it significant for me? I have the feeling I should look for 718 in the coming days.

As I run each morning there is a set of wires at a particular intersection where they are always mourning doves sitting. There are three wires and I will often count the mourning doves, looking for a significant number. I don’t know what I expect.  It just keeps my mind occupied as I’m making that corner.  I think maybe there will be seven, one and then eight on the wires when I make my run tomorrow.  Can Shayna pull that off? Can the universe? Nah.  But, why not? I put out a tiny intention to make it so.  When I get home from the movie, I hear the weather forecast is it’s going to be in the teens tomorrow.  I’m not going to run.  Oh well.  Maybe the next day.  It probably didn’t mean anything anyway.  But, 718 is still in my head. I consider making the run just to see, but I decide not to.  Maybe I’ll change my mind in the morning though.

Ty informs me she is getting up early tomorrow. She has to take her mother somewhere and has another meeting at noon. She wants to get her workout in early. That’s very unusual. She doesn’t tell me what time and while the time 7:18 has occurred to me, I can think of no reason why I would look at the clock at that time.  I’m still thinking about the doves.  I wear a fitness band that vibrates every morning at 7:00.  It has a snooze on it and the snooze is 9 minutes.  Sometimes when I turn it off, I accidentally put into snooze mode, but I don’t even know how that works and why sometimes it snoozes and other times it just shuts off.  At 7:00 Ty’s alarm sounds and my band buzzes.  I think nothing of it.  I shut off my band, she turns off her alarm.  9 minutes later, her alarm sounds again.  My band buzzes. She says “Ten more minutes” That’s when it hits me.  7:09 plus nine minutes equals 7:18.  I close my eyes. At 7:18, her alarm goes off again.  I look at the clock, there it is 7:18 and she gets out of bed.  I cannot tell you the last time she got up at 7:18 if ever.

I’m not sure there is any significance in the number beyond the fact that it came into my awareness yesterday, I looked for it, then it appeared.  The woman I was listening to on the PodCast had a dream where she got the numbers for the Michigan lotto. She didn’t play the lotto, but part of her job at the television station she worked at was calling the lotto to get the winning numbers and to put them up on the television screen during Jeopardy. She told her mother and some other people the numbers she had dreamed about and the very next day those were the winning numbers. She hadn’t played the lotto. The significance was in her knowing that she had been given a sign.

I think this is like that.  I don’t know that 718 will mean anything other than what I have already seen. And it if doesn’t, that’s enough. It had been a while since I had a sign from Shayna and I have been hoping for one.

Coincidence or not?

[brianwestchest]

Dia 128- Dia de los Muertos

Today is Dia de los Muertos, a major holiday in Mexico and Central American countries where the living celebrate those who have transitioned. Yesterday was Halloween and neither Ty nor I are aware of Dia de los Muertos. I get up fairly early to catch the sunrise, which is a spectacular one. It has been raining, so the ground is wet and a mist is rising off of the grass. The sun is peeking through some clouds looking like a water color painting. I pause my run as I am starting to capture a picture of this moment and I get a pretty good one. I continue with the run which is a personal best or really close to it. Sub 10 minute miles for 4.5 miles.  I feel inspired this morning. When I get back from the run, I take a look at the picture more closely and notice a blue orb in the picture.  Many say that orbs in photographs are the spirits of people who have transitioned coming through. I’ve seen some that are obvious specks of dust illuminated by the flash of the camera. This is not of those and I did not use the flash.  

When I come back into the house I talk to Ty and she tells me that (I don’t know why) she had wanted a sign from Shayna today.  

We go to church and there is Dia de los Muertos altar set up on the pulpit. That’s when we found out today is the Day of the Dead and that it is believed this time of year, these few days are when the veil is the thinnest.

[brianwestchest]

Day 68- Time Love and Tenderness

We were driving back from church today and the album playing from my iPhone ended. The Bluetooth system in my car will then start playing from my library of 14,000 songs in alphabetical order by song title, but the first song seems to be selected randomly. Today, Michael Bolton's version of Time Love and Tenderness was first up. Of course we were talking about Shayna. She had just discovered Michael Bolton from the TV car ads and liked his voice. The lyrics are: So you say that you can't go on Love left you cryin' And you say all your hope is gone And what's the use in tryin' What you need is to have some faith Shake off those sad blues Get yourself a new view Oh, nothing is a sad as it seems, you know 'Cause someday you'll laugh at the heartache Someday, you'll laugh at the pain Somehow you'll get through the heartache Somehow you can get through the rain [Chorus:] When love puts you through the fire When love puts you through the test Nothing cures a broken heart Like time, love and tenderness When you think your world is over Baby just remember this Nothing heals a broken heart Like time, love and tenderness Time, love and tenderness I understand how you're feeling now And what you've been through But your world's gonna turn around So baby don't you be blue All it takes is a little time To make it better The hurt won't last forever Oh, all the tears are gonna dry you know 'Cause someday you'll laugh at the heartache Someday you'll laugh at the pain You may be down on your luck But baby that old luck's gonna change

[brianwestchest]

Day 65- Attack of the Hummingbirds

I am standing on the deck. The dogs are in the back yard doing their dog thing when I spot a hummingbird approach the feeder we put up several days ago. No, wait, there are two hummingbirds. They feed only for a second or so then they fly off and start to do this hummingbird dogfight. They are looping around each other moving rapidly from the feeder on my left across to my right. From about 20 feet in front of where I was facing to just behind me and to my right. They must not see me because suddenly they are both headed right for my face. I duck and gasp as they pass six inches to a foot away from me. Now they move back to my left and just behind me. One stops and hovers not two feet from me and just stares at me as I stare at him. This goes on for about five to ten seconds. They come back together, go to the hanging plant on the deck where I am, feed for another ten seconds or so, then they fly off together.