#welp anyways

[casp33r]

[heeliopheelia]

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 (s. jake x reader)

tw: somnophilia, fem! reader, unprotected sex, established relationship, pet names,

word count: 1.1k

masterlist

Laying on his back, Jake stares at the ceiling as another drop of cold sweat dribbles down the back of his neck. The ticking of the clock and your slow breaths are the only thing he can hear in the quiet bedroom, as he should be at three in the morning after all. 

But he finds it really hard to go back to a peaceful slumber when just two minutes ago you were straddling his dick and he was just so close to cumming. And all of those sweet moans of yours, the slight shaking of your thighs and the mesmerizing bounce of your tits – all of it, just to turn out to be a dream. 

With a heavy sigh, he turns to his side and looks at your sleeping self, so blissfully unaware of the armageddon that you’ve caused in his brain. His eyes skim over your bare back, rising and falling with deep breaths, and suddenly he’s reminded of how just seconds ago he was thrusting, and thrusting, and thrusting up into you so well-

Shutting his eyes tightly, Jake swallows hard and stays like this for a minute or two to calm himself. When another, tired sigh pushes past his lips, he moves closer to you and drapes his arm over your waist, hoping that cuddling up to you will make him fall asleep faster, so that he can wake up in the morning and fuck you properly sooner. 

Another issue he’s being faced with is that the night is so cold, and you’re just so warm and inviting, laying so prettily right next to him. The fairylights that you’ve left turned on for the night cast a warm light on you, giving him a perfect view on the fading hickeys he left on your shoulder blades mere hours ago, and now really, how is he supposed to stop himself. 

The twitch of his hard cock becomes more unbearable with every second and then he realizes – he just loves you too much to let you sleep in peace. He can’t allow for your unforced beauty to go to waste, after all. 

“My pretty girl,” he whispers, barely audible as his voice is still heavily laced with sleep. 

The shorts he’s sleeping in are already drenched and so uncomfortable to wear, so he carefully slips them down to discard them on the floor, right next to where all of your clothes from last night are resting as well.

He lets his impatient hands wander to admire your curves, and a low grunt rips out of his throat as his erection grazes against your thighs by accident. 

He’s an asshole – he knows it. But not that big of an asshole to enjoy all of this without you. So, instead, he settles on rubbing his hard cock against your perked ass, biting his lip with the first touch of your plush skin. 

“Need you s’ bad,” he mutters, leaning forward to pepper your neck with small, sloppy kisses. 

One of his hands drifts to your chest. Whatever shame he might or might not have been fighting against moments ago, it all goes away when the glimpse of your quiet moan sounds through the room the second his hand touches the soft swell of your breast. 

Jake’s lips twitch up with a smile, and now without really holding back, he rolls his hips over your ass, letting his fingers rub and gently pinch around your hardening nipple. His other hand slips down to your pussy and a louder whine comes out of your throat when his thumb finds your clit.

“Knew you’re gonna like it,” he chuckles raspily into your neck. 

His cock finds a perfect place to slot against you, thrusts growing more desperate and less cautious as the release he’s been craving for so long has finally started building up again. 

He hugs you close to his chest, panting against your skin as he humps you like a pillow. Warm hand groping your tits, his tongue lays flat and licks up your neck, finishing at your jaw and nibbling underneath the bone. 

You begin to squirm underneath his touch just as you begin to get wetter, and still in your sleep, you push your ass back into his pelvis. He feels so dirty, but too good to stop too, thriving off the idea that he can make you come even in your sleep. Jake loves that you need him just as much as he needs you.

Rocking his hips into you, your boyfriend is careful not to move you around too much, after all waking you up would make him feel guiltier than he already is. His precum soon smears all over your ass, his big hand pressing harder onto your clit in desperation to make you wetter. 

And when he can finally hear the longed for filthy squelching underneath his fingertips, he breathes out and kisses your shoulder. 

“Just the tip, baby. I promise.” His hand hastily reaches down and lines his cock against your entrance. Slowly, he pushes his mushroom head inside, eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Can’t resist you.”

Your tight hole jerks out a louder whine out of him, not expecting you to suck him in so well, and if not for his self control he would’ve blown his load inside you right then and there. But he decides to enjoy you, to edge himself for a little longer, sinking his red tip in between your walls once by once. 

Just the tip, he has to remind himself after a particularly needy moan of yours.

His fingers skim over your perked nipple again, then cup your breast in his hand and squeeze it gently as he can feel himself getting closer to release. But then you tense in his arms and warm release streams down your thighs suddenly, coating Jake’s fingers. You whimper, on the verge of waking up, and he smiles slyly with satisfaction that he actually made you come in your sleep.

“I know, baby, I know,” he murmurs breathlessly. His eyes are focused on your perfect ass, hands soon following their lead and groping at your soft flesh. 

And then another pleased sigh leaves your lips and he just can’t help himself any longer, so he pulls out of you quickly with a nasty smack and taps his dripping cock over your ass, thick streams of his cum glazing your skin not even a blink later. His mouth falls open as his chest heaves so rapidly in comparison to yours. 

He can’t get himself to do much else than to fall back into the pillows and wrap his arms around you, pulling you as closely to him as it’s humanly possible. 

“Love you, love you so much,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “Promise I’ll reward you in the mornin’.”

Nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, he can feel his eyes starting to droop after the restless night. 

taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @dilucsleftshoelace @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @seongiewon @nichoswag @s00buwu @mon2sunjinsuver @goreconsumer @i4kt @heehoonsnemo @seongslutt @criminalyun @enhabooks @antoinettenotfound

a/n: i used to love this the first time i wrote this but now it's just... meh... idek if this is worth putting on my masterlist lmfao

[kkolg]

You read the title, ROLL THE ANIMAL PLANET MUSIC-

Ahem, when a disassembly drone decides that they want to obtain a partner, they must prepare for the most spectacular show you have ever seen- with steps of course…

Step 1: Creating a display

Every great performance must have a stage to use, after all, what good is an amazing show without the looks to go with it? The disassembly will first fly around to find a wide open area to create their stage or “display”. The display that disassemblys make are usually large circles that are made out of old workers, oil, and many reflective materials. The disassemblys usually take workers that are the most chopped up and are still slightly filled with oil, they also take any excess oil they find to make the outline of the circle-like formation. The reason they do this is to prove to other drones that they are such effective hunters, they can allow quite a bit of oil to go to waste. The more oil; the better the hunter, which in turn leads to the higher likelihood of finding a partner.

Oh, well look at that- it seems a poor, little, drone has stumbled into this lovely display. It is time to impress. 

Step 2: Impress 

First impressions are always very important when it comes to anything, especially when trying to obtain a partner. Disassemblys will often first bring out their wings as high up as they can and begin to rattle the wing blades. They will try their best to look as presentable as possible by standing up tall, puffing their chest, hands behind their backs, etc…

If the drone has surprisingly stayed through to pre-show, then it’s on to the real performance.

Step 3: The Dance

Every disassembly’s dance is unique in its own way, but they do usually have certain things in common such as: hopping, twirling, shuffling, etc… The way each disassembly uses these techniques is what makes them different. You also will see constant eye contact and rattling of the wing blades during the show. As the performance goes on the disassembly will begin to get closer to the drone, who would usually be standing in the middle of the display, surrounding them in a spiral-like motion.

Unfortunately, the aforementioned shiny things don’t just attract potential mates, but also competition. Now there are many reasons why another disassembly may want to invade on such a ceremonial performance: the oil lying around, scraps, territory, or the other drone (wether it be for food or partnership) The performer however, will hardly go down without a fight. Surprisingly, disassemblys can be very civil creatures. When impeding on such an important performance like this, even disassemblys know that they shouldn’t cause blood oil-shed whenever there’s a poor, unsuspecting drone around (unless they’re not the one being swooned). Disassemblys will instead fight for dominance using their appearances and techniques alone. They’ll show off their claws and shake their wings and tail as a warning, then they usually begin to get int each other’s faces and start hissing and butting chests. They do this to try and push the other out of the circle. Why?

Because once a disassembly has been pushed out-

-it is a sign of weakness, and is taken as a loss.

Now that that has been handled, it is time for the final phase of the dance. Once a disassembly has gotten close enough to the other drone, they will begin to do light headbutts to the others chest. If the drone continues to stay, that in turn means they are completely comfortable with the other.

 And now the ceremony is finally completed.

BASED ON @thecosmiccrow’s LOVELY HEADCANNON IT IS FOREVER ENGRAVED INTO MY BRAIN

[frankensteinmf]

realized i havent drawn Chris much so, enjoy! having to draw this without music and as a quick sketch was odd: had the weirdest case of anyalising ''the curse of Chris Redfield'' while black hole sun (by Sound garden) was an experience i consider this an Yipee moment and off to rest

[stupidlyunhinged]

yall able bodied bitches really dont get it like ive had to grieve the loss of my youth before i even lived it

my body is slowly deteriorating and theres nothing i can do about it but sit and stew in the pain it causes me

there are very few “gets better” moments and they tend to be drowned out because theyre so fast and fleeting - i get better just to get worse doing an everyday task

its easy for those im surrounded by to forget my pain but in my reality - its all ive ever known because its all i can remember so ill live with it from damn near birth to death

sometimes i look at someone whos being ableist n shitty n all i can think is that ive had more pain in a week than youll ever have in your entire fucking life - how is that fair you get to be an asshole with a working body while i suffer for seemingly nothing

would it be due to something i have done long before this life - maybe then it would be understandable

i grieve for the things ill never get to do that to other people it would be something mundane that they will be able to do easily - i fear that if i live long enough to adopt children because i doubt ill be having my own i wont be able to carry them let alone be someone they will see as strong in any way

i grieve for the loss of myself and my body

i grieve for the things ill never be able to do

i grieve for the things ill i used to enjoy and do

i grieve for the person i couldve been

i grieve for what i have become

i grieve for the things i cannot stop

i grieve for those like me

i grieve for how isolated and alone i have become

i grieve for the ostracization from the people ive known my whole life

ill never be normal and i fear im losing more parts of me than just my physical form - as this eats at my body i can see how the rest of me will truly give up for good and oh how im getting tired of fighting it

[evilldentists]

Work has been mentally exhausting these past few weeks 🙂‍↕️ pile on top of that, my period is due.. she’s lurking, sucking my energy like what Collin Robinson does. I am soo checked out, that I completely forgot I took out the chicken to defrost for dinner! I left it out, fell asleep, forgot about it, went back to work the next day, came back and had the sudden realisation that I left something in the kitchen!

Oh, the scream I scrumpt!! *pulls hair out*

The spiral and slump I am in 🫠 and also, I’m soo tired that I can’t even log in to LADS and do my dailies 😭 and when I do, Sylus went and said this to me

Ahaaaa 😭😫😫 I am the one lying in a ditch. CAUSE I FORGOT MY CHICKEN!!

*spiralling intensifies*

[saltyboneyards]

I'm going to be so honest, I like Wincest.

Sam and Dean are the only constant in each other's life. They deeply care for each other and canonically SHARE A HEAVEN.

More about my struggles of accepting the fact I'm ok with Wincest. And more. ⬇️

When I first liked Wincest, I freaked out. I hated it before, so why like it now? What does that make me?

Am i morally in the wrong?

So, I went online and searched up what causes incest and how the brain works around it.

The brain is automatically wired to feel disgusted at inner sexual family relations.

But some of us, like me, have our wires a bit crossed.

I don't feel attraction to my family at all. That's gross to me. But if I were to meet people who are in an incestuous relationship, sure. Not your fault your wires got crossed. Have fun. Hope y'all work out.

I'm highly against non-con, that's just a no for me.

Unrelated to the ship wincest... Im okay with Underage.

That's because of how my brain developed through trama at a young age. And yes I know it's fucked up.

Yes I know it's illegal. Unfortunately the psychology of my brain isn't on the same page.

Back to Incest. Incest does cause psychological damage, majority of the time. I researched it and now I know.

Strangely enough I find it hot still. I weighed the morals and social norms and views. It's really complicated. It's hard to feel ok with myself liking it.

But it's fiction. What I'm reading. And it doesn't hurt anyone. I like it.

Anyways, Peace and Prosperity my dudes 🤙♥️

[amortusthetortoise]

I have some explaining to do

(u might wanna see this @thesknight)

So. Regarding this post, and this

Uhmmm. Yeah u can’t explain my morbid obsession with Tempo in a sane way so bare with me guys-😭😭😭

He’s a clock. And he is hot. Now, how u ask? Idk tbh. He could pull it off if he wanted to, but I decided “No, only I get to see the appeal, tumblr does not.” So yeah 👍

I’m gonna cry now /j