Jul 6
going to someone for comfort but they just ask what u did wrong
#the bpd experience#i just recall so many times i’ve needed comfort and then i’ve been so desperate for it#that it overwrote my aversion to it bc it is humiliating and pathetic#but then theyve just been like hm… what did u do to fuck up and put yourself in that situation tho???? :///#i rmbr being on thw brink to s—-e and putting on experiment on me on our shitty tv w shitty volume#and singing along to it out loud to not lose it completely. idk how long that song is? 3-4 minutes?#that made my neighbors call the cops on me…. even if they themselves were so noise EVERYDAY that i could barely function#and we had another neighbor who sat up all night w their window open just yelling insults and threats..#nobody ever called the cops on him llol#anyway that was so scary and i felt so bad that i went to someone for comforg#comfort* damn dumb bitches cant spell on their ipads smh#and they were just like okay haha maybe you shouldnt have yelled that song then#and that was like damn. other ppl are out here raping ppl and being all sorts of horrible and they have ppl defending them#i cant even have someone who tries to see it from my side.. or just not say any of that and just comfort me bc they love me???#anyways. i ache for the loyalty i give and feel. i wouldnt immediately blame someone i love#or even if they did smth that wasnt like…. one of the big 3 horrible things i’d still be on their side bc i love them#whateverrrr.
