#whatswrongwithblue

[thedalektables]

«[The Doctor] understood where [Rose] was coming from. If he were in her position he would be swinging from mad with grief to bursting with joy every five minutes, so he was rather impressed with how she was holding up. And to be fair, he had expected it to be like this. Things weren't perfect and there was definitely going to be more fighting and difficult conversations in their future, but she was making such an effort to not let her pain get in the way of their relationship.

But the little parameters she had in her mind about the way he was suppose to react to certain things were impossible. She didn't think he would be able to be happy until the TARDIS was built and neither of them had any real idea of when that would be. And to an extent she was right. It would be hard and he was sure that his inability to not quite fit in would be the source of many of their future arguments. But he just couldn't imagine a situation in which Rose was next to him that he would find unbearable. As long as she was still willing to hold his hand at the end of each day then this life of hers couldn't be so bad.

That was his next problem though. He knew that if he ever became too comfortable here Rose wouldn't accept him as the Doctor anymore. So he was stuck in a place where he was going to have to make an honest effort to make things work with Rose and then fail at it just enough in order for her to believe he was still him. And maybe she knew him well enough to know that that was exactly what was going to happen, but he was afraid that until the TARDIS was built, he was only going to be a giant disappointment in Rose's life.

And maybe, just maybe, he was over thinking things and Rose would be willing to accept anything he threw her way because he was the Doctor and she had always stayed by his side when she could. Now that would really be a dream come true.»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.2)

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[thedalektables]

«"I just don't understand, Doctor. The Arachnos didn't kill you, you just drowned. They said the flood waters must have come in too quickly. How would Donna being there have changed that?"

"Because she convinced me to leave," the Doctor answered. He felt extremely exposed and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was still only clad in a towel. "The water didn't come in that quickly, I just didn't want to leave."

"What are you saying?" Rose asked. She didn't want to believe this conversation was going where she thought it was. But his answer couldn't be worse than she was imagining so she pressed on.

"You have to understand, that was just hours after we said goodbye," he said, answering her question as non-directly as he could.

"You let yourself die."

The Doctor sighed. "I suppose I could have."

"You did!"»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.2)

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[thedalektables]

«"Still . . . " the Doctor scrunched up his face, "you're not going to try and make me work there, are you?"

Rose smiled up at him. "Not if you don't want to." Then she was walking her fingers up his chest until they reached the collar of his shirt. "Still . . ." she said, mocking his tone "we would work together. You and me . . . " she swayed back and forth in his arms ". . . just like old times."

The Doctor played along, looking upwards and pulling the corner of his mouth downwards, as if he was deep in thought, considering her proposal. But the hands on her hips were firm and pulled her closer to him as he spoke. "That could be fun, I suppose."

"There's quite a lot of danger," Rose said, her voice deep with mock seriousness. She stood up on her tiptoes so she was right in his face when she whispered "but I have a very private office."

The Doctor gave a small half smile and leaned his face even closer to her. "Are you being suggestive with me, Rose Tyler?"

"If I was being suggestive, I would have mentioned that it locks from the inside."

"That has . . . promise," the Doctor managed to say before Rose was pressing her lips to his.»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.4)

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[thedalektables]

«There was something more to [Rose] as well. Because if [the Doctor] thought about it, there was a terrifying truth to it. She had become good at flying the TARDIS. Not perfect, rubbish compared to him, but too good for a human. And last night when she had reached for his mind first . . . she really shouldn't have been able to do that.

Most worrisome of all was that now that he was looking for it, he could feel her connection to him. He hadn't felt that since the Master opened his fob watch. Before that, he hadn't felt that since before the end of the Time War. He thought back to a conversation he had with Rose years ago in an underground museum in Utah.

The Dalek survived. Maybe some of your people did too.

I'd know. In here. He tapped his head. Feels like there's no one.

The Doctor kept his eyes on Rose as he followed her back into her parents' mansion and realized she still had no idea.

It didn't feel like there was no one there anymore.»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.3)

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[thedalektables]

«[The Doctor] walked over to [the pile of books] and counted them by subject; astronomy, physical chemistry, organic chemistry, biochemistry, chemical engineering, mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, calculus, mathematical theory, microbiology, immunology, epidemiology, evolutionary biology, human anatomy. But then he got to the bookshelf devoted to nothing but physics; quantum physics, astrophysics, statics, fluid dynamics, and thermodynamics. The spines were worn on most of them. He took a few off the shelf at random and flipped through them. They were highlighted and the margins were full of notes in Rose's handwriting.

The Doctor frowned, knowing the worry was probably sketched across his every feature but he no longer cared to try and hide it. "Rose, did you read all of these?"

"Not all of them. Not all the way through at least." Rose was disappointed in the Doctor's reaction. She had expected him to be impressed or proud but he only looked upset. "I had a lot of time on my hands, so I just started reading."

"A lot of time?" the Doctor asked skeptically. "Between work and family? And then the Dimension Cannon? Jackie said you worked nonstop on that for over a year."

"So I was focused when I read," Rose defended and snatched the book away from him, placing it back on the shelf.

"Rose, there's what . . ." he glanced around, "312 books in this room? The majority of them being heavy subject matter. You couldn't have gotten through all these in three years, even if the only time you stopped was to eat and sleep."

"Three years and eight months," Rose corrected. "And I did, so there's no point in trying to start a fight over it. What's the matter with you anyway?"»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.5)

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[thedalektables]

«"You died," [Rose] choked. The Doctor watched as she turned her head downwards and closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing before she continued. "UNIT was going to cremate your body but there was talk of confiscating your things. So I took your sonic screwdriver and TARDIS key before they could get to them."

"Rose, look at me," he said and lifted his hand off her shoulder and placed it under her chin. "I'm right here. I'm not dead. That never happened, that whole universe never happened."

"That's not how it works and you know that," she answered, taking his screwdriver from his hand and lifting it up so it was between their faces. "Otherwise, this wouldn't be here. I created a paradox that ripped that universe apart but I didn't stop it from ever existing. There was a version of you that died, Doctor, and I had to see it! So don't tell me it didn't happen because what I saw is something that I'll never be able to forget."

"I'm so sorry, Rose." The Doctor truly didn't know what else to say. For him, she had returned to his life as easily as she had left it. He hadn't had to fight for her, he had just had to deal with the emptiness that she had left behind. But Rose had worked for years to get back to him, only to lose him not just once, but twice. It was astonishing that she wasn't more of an emotional wreck.»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.2)

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[thedalektables]

«And with that all of the Doctor's hope melted away. "So you built [the Dimension Canon] based off nothing but one scientist's half drawn out theories on time travel?"

"Yes."

"And when the laws of physics that you read about didn't apply you just figured out your own?"

"Yes."

The Doctor thought back to Rose, jumping and dancing around the TARDIS console, figuring things out so easily. Even under his close instructions, a 21 year old human shouldn't have been that comfortable co-piloting a Time Lord's ship. He had been such a blind idiot.

"Doctor, I'm fine. I don't know what you're so worked up about," Rose said, trying to laugh it off but her voice shook with fear and uncertainty. "Look at me, I'm fine."

The Doctor leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes and holding her tightly to him. He thought of his precious Donna, the DoctorDonna, and what must have happened to her because of him. As he held onto the woman he had promised to spend the rest of his life with, he prayed to every God he didn't believe in that she wouldn't meet the same fate as his dear friend.

"I'm sorry Rose, I'm so sorry. But I don't think you are."»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.5)

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[thedalektables]

«"Did you know?" [Rose] asked, slowly untangling herself from the Doctor. "What [the Doctor's] plan was when he brought us back here?"

The Doctor took a small step back and rubbed the back of his neck. He should have known that question was going to be asked eventually but it was a tricky one to answer.

"Yes, because it's what I would have done in his place. No, because I wasn't sure if he could go through with it."

Rose didn't look satisfied with his answer. "You would have left me too?"

"That's not fair to him or to me," the Doctor responded.

He leaned against the center island, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He hadn't meant to sound so defensive, but how could he explain this to her?

"If I had been in his shoes, looking at a version of myself that could give you everything I always wanted to and couldn't, then the only reason I would have been able to deny you that was if I was incredibly selfish. And I've always been incredibly selfish when it comes to you, Rose Tyler. The only difference between him and I on that beach was that I acted on that selfishness and he didn't."

He looked at her just like he had that day on the beach when she touched his chest and felt his single heart beating. His expression had been begging her to understand then and it was conveying the same need now.

"I'm glad you did," Rose said after a moment of silence.»

- There’ll Be Better Days than This, by @whatswrongwithblue (Chap.4)

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