synopsis: when you were eight years old, lee heeseung handed you a barbie band-aid and made you two promises. now, ten years later, you're about to start your first year at university without having ever kissed a man. panicking, you ask your childhood best friend to teach you how so you don't go to college looking like a total idiot. it’ll be strictly educational. no feelings. no strings.
except neither of you have ever been good at following the rules.
wc: 1.1k (official tba)
warnings: fluff, slight age gap (heeseung is two years older), older brother!jay, childhood best friends to lovers, angst, love confessions, lowkey kind of found family in a way, down bad hee, lots of summer vibes, tba // loss of virginity, experienced!heeseung x inexperienced!reader, fingering, oral f and m receiving, praise kink, lowkey size kink (im sorry), soft dom!heeseung, squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, confessions during sex, tba
abthinks... i'm so excited to share this story with you guys. im hoping to finish it by late april, but no promises! taglist is now closed! <3
You’d been going to the Lee’s beach house every summer since you were a baby. Hell, you’d been there when you were in your moms womb. You aren’t sure when it stopped being a summer vacation and it started being closer to home, but it had.
You think Heeseung might've had something to do with that.
He was two years older than you (the same age as your brother, Jay), but he never used it to his advantage like your brother did. He didn’t treat you like you were some snot-nosed little kid he was forced to hang out with. He never dismissed you when you asked to bike with them or play pool volleyball.
Your brother would groan with frustration, mumbling about how you “need to get your own life”, to which you’d deliver him a smack upside the head.
Heeseung would smile, all teeth and crinkled eyes, and he’d always say the same thing.
“I’ve never been good at saying no to you.”
You’d smirk at getting your way, and Jay would always give Heeseung a look, like he was trying to make sense of something that simply wasn’t there yet. Like he understood something that neither you nor Heeseung did just yet.
The summer you turned eight years old, your mom finally decided you knew the area well enough to ride on your bike by yourself. You’d just recently gotten off of training wheels, and while you weren’t permitted to go past the big oak tree at the end of the street, it still felt like she was releasing you from the confines of her watchful eyes. Like she was handing you the world and trusting you not to break it.
You spent the entire afternoon riding up and down the street, imagining you were chasing pirates or riding away in a carriage. It was still June, so the sun wasn’t too harsh. Not like it got in July and August–those were the months that made you wonder if the earth really was gradually moving closer to the sun.
You aren’t sure exactly how it happened. A stray rock, or maybe just a gust of wind that blew a little too hard, but either way something sent you flying off of the bike.
Your knees got the worst of it, the skin scraping off and crimson beginning to pool in its place. It really didn’t even hurt that bad, but the way it looked is what scared you the most.
You don’t know how long you spent crying on the curb, bike abandoned in the street and cheeks red with embarrassment. Your first time on your own and this is all you have to show for it–bloodied knees and a scratched-up bike.
You didn’t even hear him approach, not until he sat down silently next to you. He was only ten, but it still felt so much older than you. Like even in his youth he was infinitely wise and you were fighting just to be able to keep up.
You didn’t look up at him. You couldn’t. You were too ashamed. So you kept your face buried in your hands and did your best to quiet your sobs into little hiccups.
Heeseung didn’t say anything for a long time. He didn’t need to. He just let you cry and stayed next to you, like he was waiting for you to come to him.
You sniffled and rubbed at your wet cheeks, your eyes puffy and throat aching. “I-I wanted to show mom that I was ready.” You managed through cries, “But what if-if I’m not?”
Heeseung listened, eyes never leaving the side of your face. He’d always been better at listening than responding, but you never minded. You could talk enough for the both of you (a fact Jay never missed the opportunity to tease you for).
He didn’t move while you rambled, didn’t try to interrupt you or make any excuses to leave even though you’re sure he’d rather be doing anything else. Instead, he waited patiently for you to finish and for your sobbing to turn into little hiccups, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Barbie Band-Aids.
Jay hated them, always complaining that they were too girly, but you loved the pink designs. You always wore them with pride, even when there was no reason too. You told your mom you were making a fashion statement, and she never argued. Part of you wonders if she just liked watching you place them in the most inconvenient places.
He pulled the wrapping off with ease and placed each one over your knees. “There,” He mumbled, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “Now you can’t even see it.”
He was right, of course. Now, instead of two glaring gashes on your knees, there was Barbie's blonde hair and bright blue eyes. You stared down at them, and then back to him. He was smiling at you, but it wasn't the one he usually gave you–the one that was all teeth and bright eyes. This one was softer. Kinder. Something that felt like it was meant just for you.
“Everyone falls down sometimes, [Y/N].” He said, the words falling from his lips like they were fact. “What matters is if we get up or not.”
You blinked. You meant it when you said he’d always felt wise beyond his years, because what kind of ten year old says something like that?
You couldn’t help the giggle that forced its way past your lips, any sadness you’d felt slowly dissipating until it felt like a distant memory. “You sound like your mom.” You teased.
Heeseung shook his head, rolling his eyes playfully. He didn't mind if you laughed at his expense, as long as you weren’t crying.
“Good.”
You both let the silence hang over you after that, the warm breeze weaving between the two of you like a comforting hug.
After a moment, Heeseung swallowed, picking at his fingers nervously. A habit he’d always had and one his mom insisted he get rid of. “You know that as long as I’m around, you don’t need to worry, right?”
You didn’t know how to respond. Of course you knew that, but why was he telling you this now? And why did he look like he’d explode if he didn't get it off of his chest at this very moment?
“I’ll always be here when you need me.” He murmured, his tone more serious than you’d ever heard him. “I’ll always protect you.”
He stuck his pinky out to you then, a silent offering. You accepted it without hesitation, your finger wrapping around his.
Holy crap i did a thing. I'm doing studies of environments for a possible upcoming project. Won't be specific because I don't know if it'll pan out, but it led to this!
