Me vs Me vs BPD
I'm starting this blog to explain why I am the person I've been. I've dealt with mental health struggles my entire life. I've never gotten diagnosed with any mental conditions, but I am good at pretending like everything is normal and fine. I believe that my entire family suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. I actually think BPD is a spectrum like autism (which I don't really want to get tested for it, but pretty sure I'm in the aspergers side of things). They say in this world we have 3 faces: the one we show the public; the one we show the private, like our close friends and family; and the one we only show ourselves. The thing is that third face shows sometimes. I let mine show on purpose sometimes. I'm trying to work on getting my mental filter back in public, but the people I'm with in private I hope love me for who I am. It sucks when sometimes you get a glimpse of someones true self and see how little they think of you. I don't know I'm just ranting at this point. I'd like to say I am not a crazy person, but I have been institutionalized 3 times in my life. I will explain those stories, because man there really is a lot to unwrap there. Before I go in detail with those stories (and other stories that would really fuck a guy up emotionally) I'm going to just explain some of the people that shaped who I am. They say it takes a village to raise a child. In my house my parents expected the children to raise the village. Haha, but like f'real tho, they did. Also I wouldn't have survived this long if it wasn't for the villagers. The few friends I had, and their parents are the only reason I made it. Well this is long enough of an intro. Let's be real who really wants to read the rants of a mad extremely disappointed man.