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A Lazy Man's Body Pillow | Belphegor Attacker | Summary | SPOILERS

Hey y'all! Like the fancy thing I did with the above banner? Ngl the hardest part was compressing the damn thing because I apparently made it way to fucking large lol But anyways, it seems this time around a lot of y'all were able to get his card which shows some promise that the gacha rates have changed? Maybe?? We'll seeeeeeee

Usually I do the entire "summary then screenshot" thing but I realized that format works better for exclusive cards than ones we're gonna see in 3 months. So we're back to my, "screenshots with commentary" format. Let's hope I can do this with only 29 screenshots 😭

Let's kick it off with

So it seems that MC has won some kind of "lottery", but there's no foolin' MC when it's very blantantly written on the back of the ticket that the host Kingdom is Niflheim and it didn't take much for Beleth to admit that he did some slick shit just so he could go on....

checks notes

v a c a t i o n .

Now, I love Beleth. Love me some him. But I'll be damned if he sets me up randomly to babysit his lazy ass King/Husband (I don't make the rules). But oh well we're fucking here, would of been nice if you, idk just asked me, Beleth 💀

So we get some lore about how Niflheim's palace works! We were told that it was militaristic, cutthroat and what not. Turns out it's ran like a huge office, everyone pushing paperwork, moving around boxes, they even have departments and they have to get Belphie's approval of things.

It has me wondering honestly why they're so busy? Like in each country I've noticed there's paperwork to file or sign and I'm just like please don't let Hell be like this if it exists because I'd cry like wtf I died to leave this shit on Earth not relive it again??? lol

But what I really noticed is that Niflheim has these cute demon cats similar to Harumon running around and earning their keep. I wish my cats could get a job and help with these bills they rack up.

there goes my baby......

AHEM

I mean...hi, hello here to work part-time because I can't be bothered to work full-time because idk unless you want me to work full-time where I'm your secretary 😏😏😏

So after Belphie pretty much half-assed explained where the breakroom and offices are in the palace, here's Vassago! Though he seems like he's pretty chill, I can sense he's actually annoyed that he has to monitor MC and "train" them. It reminds me of starting a new job and the mentor they set you up with is either overly excited or basically acts as if they don't want to be there. Or you get that rare one who's happy as fuck to mentor you because that means they don't have to do what they were normally doing.

Also, it seems that tension between Agares/Vassago and the Niflheim crew is evident. He respects Beleth and Belphegor's titles but when it comes to loyalty it's always gonna be to Agares.

FOR NOW THO

And during this little interaction, Belphie gets tired of them talking so much so he pretty much yeets MC's clothes off. No one cares though because they're too busy working.

Here is the first instance of Belphie not caring about MC's feelings or comfort. I imagine most folks would not just wanna be striped naked in a epicenter of busy office workers. All because....we were talking too much? 😭 P L E A S E

I won't lie though, separating myself from MC-

if that man wanted to shut me up, this is way to do it 💀

Vassago tellin' it like it is. "Ain't nobody said nothin' 'bout y'all bein' treated like guests" had me cackling because he basically said "Bitch you thought...."

Vassago got the time. Don't mess with him.

So now we're back to MC being naked, and ofc they hate it so they ask for clothes. The only thing available to fit them is a maid uniform (I'll showcase both fits for fem and masc mc in another post) because that's what Belphie likes.

freak

I know somethin' else that will fit real nice too, *sips tea*

with his smug ass lookin' face.

And it's funnier because if you remember in Levi's maid card...he's the one that gave him the maid hentai book in the first place so we already know why he likes that maid outfit....

also....notice how no one else has to wear it?

this is on purposssseeeeeeeeeeee

And now we get to the part where Belphie leans on MC asking for them to carry him. I always wondered if we could carry him??? I imagine devils are way heavier and the gravity works differently in Hell, like maybe a lot of things are heavier than usual? Or maybe lighter? In this universe Hell seems to be in a completely different realm/planet than Earth instead of that "underground" theory.

With that being said, I'm pretty sure we're able to carry him, but he's still fucking heavy since the description says MC was five times slower than Vassago. And on top of that he's telling MC where to go...which is the least he can do considering they can't keep up with Vassago lol

I also like the little attitude he gets if you get mouthy with him. But the thing about it, is that once again MC yields to it 😭 like I wanna know what happens if you just dropped him on the floor 💀

Now we've made it to where MC has reached a dining room. Vassago in so little words said that MC was going to be feeding Belphie, and how to be a perfect subordinate. We even get a cameo from Agares, and Vassago immediately goes into servant mode showing MC how it's done.

And then-

I'm sorry y'all but I lost it when he started doing this....

First....feeding him, making sure his glass is full and then he pretty much starts fingering me during????? AND SAYS ITS WARM AND PERFECT TO TAKE A NAP BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS HELLO???

I fear I would crumble

A funny part though is that MC tried to protest, and Vassago was like don't you fucking dare >__> because he instructed them to only speak when spoken to lol

I'm enjoying Vassago rn because he really is that guy. Like don't make his job harder than it needs to be and he doesn't have to chide as much.

And this really shows when MC is told to strip naked and clean the stairs, no underwear either????

Vassago literally says that's MC's job as a maid, and Belphie was no help, basically only stating to take off their clothes and clean the stairs.

damn we strict here ain't we?

I'd like to pause and talk about MC's dynamic with Belphie real quick. Clearly, Belphie's way of interacting with MC is that they are simply just someone to clean, cater, and do what he says just like the rest of his subordinates around him. There's no special treatment, no favor, no anything. For once we get to see a different perspective of how Belphie treats them versus any one else. Satan, Mammon, Lucifer, not even Leviathan would make MC clean their palace naked. Asmo? Well...the only reason they'd be naked is...lol I believe Belphie is actually the only King that doesn't show MC any special bias. I mean even Beleth pretty much skiddadled the fuck outta there once it was clear that MC couldn't leave and he was officially on vacay. And I can understand exactly why....this is how things run in Niflheim and in the event the devils of this region were even thrilled to get a day off if Belphie won the contest. NOW compared to how he acted toward MC when he wins the contest versus now, could very much have to do with the circumstance, and tbh it could of happened before or after or this is a completely different timeline altogether. If y'all remember Beel's selfie card, he treated MC very poorly as if he had no idea who they were and even belittled them for a "lack of experience". Certainly though, that was probably a "clone" of his or it was the real Beel and he just hadn't met MC yet prior to.

Going back to Belphie's card though...and MC cleaning the stairs naked....we get another cameo....

DRE IN THE HOUSEEEEE

So yeah ofc he didn't care MC was there naked, he literally can't see them. But I'm pretty sure he's aware they are there on the stairs since he walked past them no problem.

I laughed here because MC's thigh sweat or pre-cum whatever the hell it was dripped on the floor and Dre was like 🤨🤨🤷‍♀️ and just left. He does NAWT careeeeee lmao

If we're being honest he probably smelled them too. But as per usual he's got his mind on other things. No time for whatever foolishness is goin' on here.

Also, to mention that MC says that they felt putting on the maid outfit rewired something in their brain to where even though they are embarrassedthey still wanted to do whatever Belphie ordered them to do.

imma be honest, for me it would be because i'm tryna get that dick so yeah i'll listen....he already stuck his fingers in the coochie so let's gooooooooooo

And Belphie does more shit that I like....because he play around too much.

-While getting him dressed, he had a hard on just out and about -MC was being told be focused and silent while serving tea and he just comes up and grabs them in their chest to get them to make a noise

LIEK STOP PLAYIN' WITH ME BRO I WILL LITERALLY just do nothing and let you do it I'm weak just please keep touching me.

Bathin was concerned about MC being there, and Gusion clocked MC's ass and was like "Yeah you like this shit don't you?"

He claims it's because there's always patterns he can read where can tell immediately if someone is "that type" that claims they hate something but they really like it.

he would have clocked me on a lot things then because damn

"Ha, caught yo ass." 💀💀💀💀💀💀

But then both he and Bathin realize quickly that this is all a roleplay to Belphie based off the maid hentai series he owns. So remember what I said earlier? Yup it's confirmed...he's really just doin' this shit on purpose to fulfill the fantasies of one of his favorite series.

It has me wondering.....how many other series he would play out and how many cosplay outfits he has for that playtime....

Belphie a freak and I like it.

Hol' up, how we get here???

Glad to tell y'all.

Vassago came up in the hallway, to much of Gusion and Bathin's distaste...and told MC the rules of putting Belphie to sleep. Bathin and Gusion in so little words told MC that Beleth is really the only one who can deal with Belphie's horrible sleeping habits and "good luck with that". At 10 pm exactly, everyone locked their doors in the entire palace.....

literally me if I were MC because what the hell is going on.....

So there is MC, taking out their notebook to write down what Belphie does in his sleep, only to then doze off because they're rightfully tired...and then bam there's Belphie jackin' it in front of them.

NOW ME y'all already know what time it would be.

locked in, mouth wide open, ready to serve customer service. *plays cupcakke songs in the background*

So our boy is a leaker, and for this part here, MC is basically sitting there in the dim light watching him stroke himself and he's like half-awake. The way that it's described that the room is hot, smells like him, and MC is sweating has me being like "damn probs humid as fuck in that room but aight"

And then...Belphie suddenly realizes that MC is in the room with him. And because of that now all hell has broke loose.

Okay well you ain't gotta ask me twice, I'll spread whatever hole I have available sir.

YESSIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

cumhole, cumslut, cumdumpster, whatever you need I'm available 24 hours for ya.

He even tells MC to swallow it....like????? he even threatened to get Vassago to come in if MC kept hesitating and I'm just imagining a pissed off Vassago coming in being like "Look bitch if you don't get this shit right, it's bad enough I have to come in here...." 💀💀💀💀

This was right after he said he would make sure MC had something to put down in that journal.......

He starts pushing MC outside the room, in his half-dazed state....which I'm like wait this is like a sleepwalking wet dream omg or....a play on sonophilia where you're fucking but still asleep. (which I've written beforeeeeeee with Amon! and for a different fandom, Nanami actually from JJK)

But anyways, we get some lore with how Belphie usually is at night time. He wanders around the halls of the palace ranting like he's drunk, or thinking there's an angel going around, just basically causing trouble and everyone locks themselves up during his bad sleep habits. I imagine he does this every goddamn night so that's why everyone is shut in their offices at 10pm.

Gusion is concerned about working overtime and getting off early, Bathin is planning to use Harumon to move MC somewhere else if it gets bad, and then there's Vassago.....thinking about how he's going to give Agares ripe oranges in the morning😭

Bless him.

MC asked how far they were going, Belphie stops and starts making out with them....love me a man who doesn't care that his spunk is all in your mouth and tongues you down like he did.

f u c k

Now this is him suckin' on some titties....and I'm just like MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE HIM AN EATER RIGHT NOW LIKE???? MOVE YA HEAD LOWER???????

He'd be such a lazy ass with eating you out or giving head but at least he'd do it because he's half asleep and horny as fuck.

Tellin' MC they can't clean right, they can't smile right or doing anything correct but got them bent over and losing their mind.

these backshots about to go crazy

And like??? I'm not even mad at how he's doing this....dude has a warped idea of what a maid is based on his favorite series and he's playing that out foreal.

And here, his philia came into play. He says that MC tryin' hard to work givin' it their all and going above and beyond turns him on more than anything else in the world. And I'm just like oh....so that's what this is like...

ooooo weeeee

Yes'm. I know, lemme show youuuuuuuuu 💖💕🥴🥴😌

he's so hot I can't stand him y'all

I levitated.....

this was after MC begging him to put his dick in, and him asking why they were begging....and hfuankjxnf,ajnxfkanlf

DAMN HIM

HELP

And then he told MC to stable themselves cause they were movin' too much. After, MC grounds themselves and he starts fucking them FASTER and deeper

Like.....

He even starts smackin' their ass and telling them to talk cause he likes it, but he wouldn't be listening. (shit, like I'll ramble and moan all day if he's drillin' how he was...)

And BITCH

he told them to stop ordering him around, pulled that thang out said that HE was the master and slipped it right back in. WHEN I TELL YOU SOMETHIN'

that shit was hot as fuck and I need him

GAWD THAT FUCKING FACE FUCK

AND he was that focused and thrusting with effort? PHEW I just know those backshots were astronomical

After that he has MC fuck themselves on him...and then when MC was losing themselves he started smacking their ass again, going faster, and when I tell you he rode that orgasm out to the end of time?

he wore himself and mc out

I'm tellin' y'all I needed a cigarette, I need a drink, I needed an edible SOMETHING after reading that because phew.

I don't really bother to self-insert in most otomes and stories, but during this spice? I had to and it was an experience.

Now going to the climaxxxx

Belphie is all cute bein' like "carry me darlin'" and just falls asleep on top of MC and MC just falls asleep naked on the floor with him. They end up in Belphie's room in his bed and Beleth is there just smilin' and shit.

He explains that he knows Belphie's sleep schedule right down to the days and that last night happened to be one of his "relief" nights meaning that he has a cycle. And usually Beleth just knocks him out, which sounds like he punches him?

Now, I've noticed here that PB doesn't really do the whole "confirming cxc content" but I'm gonna go a whim and assume that Beleth does in fact fuck Belphegor sometimes during these relief nights. Beleth also has special conditions when it comes to sex so the punching Belphie to sleep method also makes sense.

Then, Belphie does a cute thing and pulls MC in like a pillow and says he knows they aren't a pillow because none of them are as nice as MC's body so there was no need to explain nothin' to him.

He's super adorable when he's not being a little shit, huh?

AND THAT'S THE END FOLKS!

Overall Score (unbiased): 9.5/10!

This score is because the smut writing really has gotten a little better since the beginning of this game. Now others will have different opinions on this, but I at least noticed some improvements on that front. Also, because I just didn't really care for MC having to be run ragged like they were and Beleth just yeeting them to the void like that. But oh well, it just shows that not every devil or fallen angel we meet is gonna be biased to treating MC a certain way and that within itself is refreshing.

Now when it comes to self-insert purposes, I suspect that the majority would not like like Belphie treats MC at all. This is understandable, but this is also part of his character that I like. Pretty much everyone is on the same level to him in terms of usefulness and that's that. You gotta work hard to earn his favor, and clearly that seems to work out toward the end when he's snuggling up to MC like he is.

Also when you think about it, a niche roleplay based off your fave series can only be used with someone you particularly like, which means he felt that MC would fit this role instead of one of his subordinates, and he puts MC on the same level as Beleth because I'm very certain he has Beleth do some cosplay shit with him.

Plus Beleth would look bangin' in a maid costume.

Now if y'all want my BIASED opinion, this card is 100+/10 because I liked Belphie doing his weird shit during the maid thing, him barking orders that were half-assed or sometimes direct, and then the fingering under the table thing....

i'm sorry that just does something to me.

plus...all of this...the theme and the superiority thing reminds me of Sukuna from JJK and he would definitely humiliate you too just like this for amusement.....and idk I'm a Sukuna stan so...😩

The next post will be about his likability chats, a link to peek at his adore mode, and I'll be talking about his date story! So stay tuned. Again thank y'all for any interactions, reading my rambles and summaries and I hope you enjoyed his card like I did ^^ -yourlovelyadmin Jaze(✿◡‿◡)

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