Uh oh: A Doodle That Cannot be Undid || Lottie
William had just been taken off to god knows where with his gang of friends, leaving Charlotte to be home by herself. Usually being home alone wasn’t a problem for Charlotte, she loved having the house to herself. Regan was there, but Lottie tended to stay in her room, now more than ever.
She wasn’t feeling well. She had the worst stomach ache, it was progressing into stomach pains she’d never felt before. Her chest was swollen, which wasn’t really a major problem to her, but she knew what these signs were leading to. She went over to her calendar, looking at that week. Her period was supposed to be coming that day, which made sense to her.
The days dragged on and on with nothing. Charlotte decided this was panic time. This was a panic reminiscent of the panic before the great depression. Charlotte had never in her life been late for her period. She had always been punctual; it was pretty much the only time she was ever on time for anything.
Charlotte snuck out of the house, passing by Regan’s room undetected, and headed off to the drug store. She grabbed every possible pregnancy test the store sold, grabbed several bottles of water and headed back to the apartment.
Those moments were the longest moments in her life.
She didn’t know what was going to end up happening, if she’d be pregnant or if she’d just be late or whatnot.
Charlotte carefully unwrapped the first test; reading the directions like they were the Bible and took the test. This was the only test she prayed to god she’d fail.
Those two minutes were the longest two minutes of her life. Those two minutes seemed to take several eternities.
Once the timer rang, she looked at the test reading carefully the lines that had appeared. Her nightmare had come true.
She tore open every other test, taking them all in sequential order. They all read the same thing. “Pregnant.”
Charlotte panicked. She never even really wanted children. Kids scared her and she always had the fear that she’d be just like her parents. Charlotte knew she had to tell someone. So, she picked up the phone and called her mother.
She and her mother had been getting along much better than usual, and Charlotte was scared. She never really lived up to her mother’s expectations. She was always doing the wrong thing. She wasn’t majoring in Pre-Med like her mother wanted her to. She had a boyfriend, and her mother didn’t want her to get caught up in relationships because they were never really any good for anyone. Charlotte just wasn’t what her mother wanted. So, Charlotte didn’t want to make her mother just…just leave her like Charlotte’s fears were leading her to believe.
“Mum, I need to talk to you about something. It’s important and I need you to not be angry.” Charlotte started after her mother answered the phone.
“Charlotte, is this really important? I’m at work…”
“Mum…I’m…well, I’m pr-pregnant.”
“Charlotte Eliza Moore, you’re not being honest with me. You’re not pregnant.” Her mother replied with anger.
“Mum…I’m dead serious. Please. Please don’t be mad at me. Please. I need you. I need help mum.”
“…Do you know who the father is?”
“Y-yes,” Charlotte replied through her steadily falling tears.
“Well, at least you’re not that much of a slut. Charlotte what are you even thinking? You’re in college. You’re at Harvard for fuck’s sake and you can’t even keep your legs closed. Charlotte what they hell are you going to do? I can’t help you with this. Nobody’s going to hold their hand out to help you. You’re boyfriend is most likely going to leave you. Your child is going to be a bastard. Charlotte. What do you think that you’re going to do?” Her mother asked, practically screaming over the phone.
“I don’t know mum. I don’t. I’m scared and I thought…I thought you’d try and help m-me.” Charlotte cried, pulling her pillow closer to her chest at that moment.
“Well Charlotte. You’re going to have to figure out what you want to do and don’t come to me when he leaves you if you keep it.” Her mum replied.
“I…I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I don’t want you to have anything to do with it if you’re not going to support me…I guess this is goodbye.” Charlotte said before hanging up the phone.
She grabbed her teddy bear that was a gift from her father and pulled it to her chest. Charlotte wanted her father to come over and to tell her she’d be okay; even if she knew she wouldn’t.
Charlotte took her phone in her hand, resisting every urge to call Will and tell him. Will was out with his friends, having fun. Charlotte knew that and she didn’t want to ruin that.
Instead, she threw the phone to the ground and pulled the covers over her head, hoping the answer would lie in the sheets. Instead, she drifted off to sleep.
Once Charlotte woke, she realized her biggest fear was probably going to come true. She had fallen in love with someone, not telling them so. She had gotten pregnant and was probably going to be left by that person alone. Her own mother was not supportive of her and she was convinced her brothers were going to leave her too.
For the first time in a long time, Charlotte felt alone.
Later that day, Charlotte’s mother called her; she told her she’d gotten her an appointment with her doctor to see if she was in fact expecting. Her mother made it clear she was still angry and wasn’t going to be very supportive if she was in fact pregnant. She’d have to find her own way and she’d have to deal with the cards she’d been dealt. Charlotte’s mother was pushing for Charlotte to not keep the baby because it would ruin everything Charlotte had worked for.
Charlotte arrived at the appointment on time, filled out the necessary forms and went on with the appointment as it would have normally proceeded.
After she’d taken the test, the doctor came in and confirmed her fears.
“Well, Miss…Moore, Congratulations! You’re expecting.” The doctor said, with a smile across his face. “Now, here’s a booklet of in- Miss Moore, is everything alright?”
“I-I…I’m fine. It’s just. I’m not fine. I…I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. I…I can’t be a mother. I can’t. I’m in college and…and my boyfriend I don’t think he wants kids. I’m not…I’m not ready for th-this.” Charlotte wept, her face falling into her hands.
“Miss Moore, it’s not the end of the world. You have options you can choose if you can’t be a mother. You’re going to be fine and okay. Really. There are resources within this packet I’m going to hand you. Look them up. Please. Now, if you have any questions at all you can call my office and we can set something up for you. Have a nice night Miss Moore.” The doctor added. His voice was comforting, actually giving Charlotte a voice of support when she felt the most alone she’d ever felt.
As the doctor left, Charlotte gathered her things and left the room. She called her mother once more.
“You’re going to have to deal with this Charlotte. I’m extremely disappointed in you. You should know better than to be sleeping with someone while you’re in college. You’re really just….I don’t even know what to say other than I’m disappointed.” Her mother said.
Charlotte sobbed over the phone, apologizing over and over about being nothing but a failure. Her mother just repeated her disappointment.
“Charlotte, I really just want to know what you’re thinking. You can’t keep a baby. You can’t. Charlotte, is your boyfriend there? Have you told him yet?”
“N-No. He’s on a road trip with his friends right now and I…I can’t tell him. I don’t know what to do Mum. I’m scared.”
“You should be scared. Listen Charlotte; figure out what you’re going to do. If you keep it, just know that there’s nothing I’m going to be able to do for you. You made your bed, lie in it.”
“I’m sorry mum. I’m sorry.” Charlotte said before she hung up the phone. She ran to the bathroom, getting sick.
Charlotte realized there was only one thing left that she had to do, and that was to tell William.
