@pagnmin: cont from [here]
“And why’s that?” Pagan looks hurt. The way she stares up at him breaks him inside. Why couldn’t she love him? He was the best there was! Where else on Earth could she find someone that gave as great head as he did? “I’m not.. the worst person I know, Mairwen.” A hand comes to rest upon her shoulder, and he squeezes lightly, reassuringly. Maybe she is right, though. Maybe he isn’t the best. She deserves someone better and he knows it.
She can’t stand the look on his face, the pain. She closes her eyes, listening to him. His words cut her, taken a way she had never intended, and she doesn’t know what to say to them. That isn’t even it. But how can she explain it to him. Damaged. Unwanted. Worthless. Every time she thought she could try. Could open herself. They came rushing back to her mind. She reached up, fingers gently grazing along his arm, moving to rest on his cheek, opening her eyes back up to look at him.
❝No, Pagan, it’s not-- It’s more...❞ She tried to gather her thoughts. She couldn’t lie to him, but she didn’t even know the truth. ❝I don’t know if I can love at all.❞