#white spaces

[departmentofinteriors]

cy twombly’s house

[howifeltabouthim]

'I think it's spooky . . . all these white people in one place.'

Brandon Taylor, from The Late Americans

[theglobalvilla]

www.theglobalvilla.com

[blooming-inthedark]

Forever out of place at work

Sometimes, in meetings, or just listening to my lead talk to another coworker try to problem solve about something, I find myself wondering how on earth anyone could speak so candidly and sometimes passionately about the nature of the work we do. Granted, I’ve never worked in this field of business before, and much of the learning curve is just terminology and how everything works. So it’s hard to follow the conversation because I still don’t have a full understanding of what everything means.

But. I just stare at these people going on and on and l think about my stance on what they discuss... and even with the things I actually understand, the truth is I couldn’t care less about it. This work is not interesting to me. It is not fun. It is not relatable to me or my life. I don’t feel as though anyone needs a degree to do this job, so I know my expertise did not get me here. As a matter of fact, the HR lady literally brought up after my interview that she feared I would be bored in this position. I waved it off, saying that the learning curve would keep it interesting if not anything else. But now I see exactly what she means. The job is extremely boring. It’s monotonous and tedious. And I’m not complaining. Really. It pays more than the jobs I had to have during school. And since I’m not in any shows I gotta pay my bills regardless.

But I think about this constant feeling of apathy and lack of concern I’ve had for most of my jobs and I just wonder what it means. The dreamer in me wants to conclude that it proves I’m really just a true artist at heart, and these are stiff, limiting environments that restrict my creativity and my personality. I would be better off at a job that allows me more freedom, more people oriented and allows me to be a unique person and not a proper speaking, plain and professional shell of one. The adult in me feels like this is just something that people have to do - work jobs that they don’t like sometimes. That my other friends still make minimum wage and perhaps it’s me that needs an attitude adjustment since I’m the common denominator in my continuous dissatisfaction with work. I should be grateful. And it’s the evolving me who doesn’t quite know what this means, but the pattern is alarming. Why is it so bad to desire a job that you enjoy? Even if you have no idea what kind of job that would be. Are we made to just go to school and work boring ass jobs? Aren’t we our best functioning selves when we are confident and comfortable?

I think back to the jobs I did like. A fast food joint and IT at a family health center. Both jobs I almost hated my boss, but I loved my coworkers. They felt like friends and family. I might have complained about getting out of bed to go, but I knew once I got there everything would be cool because I could kick shit with my coworkers and still get work done. And I also felt good about the work. I knew what I was doing. I was confident in my work. I did it well. Everyone could count on my efficiency and would vouch that I was the one for the job if you needed someone to do it. I want to feel that way again about work. Even if I know I can’t stay because of acting opportunities that will come up.

Everyone’s quiet here. The small talk is awkward. I’m the only black girl in the company. It’s isolating. I know it’s about the work. But there’s a huge different in calling it work, and feeling like work.

[likeawildthing]

time travel au, if someone hasn’t already asked it! this is such a cool idea for an ask game ☺️

thanks!

time travel au what era are you mad you weren’t born into?

fuck, so many? 

regency era england because i would live for that kind of vieled drama, even though i would probably be a servant.

wld love to have lived in pompei bc, going by the graffiti, it sounds like they knew what was up

1692, salem, so i couldve hanged william stoughton and paid for better conditions for all of the people in jail?

wldn’t have minded being a kickass night witch in russia, circa 1941?

forever bitter that i didn’t captain my own 18th c privateering ship

1930s england so i couldve joined the rambler protests

[pinkletterday]

Tfw someone you like keeps triggering you just because of their preferences in writing and you have no idea whether it's even fair to talk to them about it. I don't want them to feel bad but also PLEASE STOP DOING THAT IT'S A RACIAL MICROAGGRESSION but also I dont want you to feel like what you write is racist and wrong because it's more of being aware of what it means out-of-universe and if you want to consider other possibilities?

Am I being SJW fandom police or is this white fragility? - the eternal WoC fan question.

This week is probably not the best time to have conversations with anyone. It's the third one on steroids. I feel like all seven dwarves in a trench coat.

[naoedicoes]

Lançamento de ESPAÇOS EM BRANCO / WHITE SPACES, de Paul Auster, numa tradução de Maria da Conceição Sendas. Conversa e leitura com a presença de João Concha, editor do livro, e de José Teófilo Duarte, moderador deste ciclo ‘Conversas de Café’ na Casa da Avenida, em Setúbal. Publicado em 1980, este é um texto essencial na obra de Auster, com o subtítulo 'A dance for reading aloud' (um bailado para ler em voz alta). Escrito a propósito de um bloqueio criativo, marca a transição entre os seus livros de poesia e os romances mais conhecidos que viria a publicar nas décadas de 80 e 90. Partindo da página em branco, percorre outros espaços, entre um quarto e o Árctico, para reflectir sobre os limites da linguagem e sobre como o corpo e o seu movimento se tornam centrais na construção do discurso. Este será o nono livro da Traditore, colecção de traduções de poesia e prosa poética da ‘não (edições)’. Nesta colecção são editados textos e autores muito diversos, com particular atenção a obras ainda não traduzidas em português ou publicadas entre nós.