#whitney writes.

[alotofthingsfromtheflowers]

Goodbye, 22. I can't say I'm sad to see you go. Because I'm not. I've actually been waiting in anticipation for you to be over for some time now. I'm sorry. Yeah, I said it. You were a year of seconds. My second love. My second heartbreak. Neither anything like the firsts of last year. Easy and beautiful love compared to toxic and infatuated love. A one time shattering compared to a constant, painful cracking. You were a year of adventures. (I hope these are what I remember most down the line.) Many adventures. Three different far away places. One, brand new. Terrifying. Exciting. One, a revisit to a familiar place, though new in its own way. Amazing. Life-changing. One...well, it sparked the best and worst things to happen this year. How do you describe that? You brought many more people in than you took away. (Sometimes I'm unsure whether I am grateful for that or not.) I am definitely not who I was a year ago today. I hope to not be who I am today one year from now. I wonder who I will be. I wonder if the same things I want for myself at this moment are what I will want then. I wonder if I will remember feeling the way I do at this moment. I wonder what beliefs I will have. I wonder what my ideal of this or that will be. I wonder what life will throw my way. I wonder how much will change. When writing the version of this last year, I was hopeful. I had an open heart and an innocence of being able to believe the best in everything without reserve. I no longer possess that quality, at least not without the reservations. This year, I am determined. I will become the person I want to be. I will stop apologizing for everything. I will learn to love myself again. Hello, 23.

[alotofthingsfromtheflowers]

One year ago today, I attended the GLAAD Awards in San Francisco, where I had the honor of witnessing Miss Dianna Agron host her first awards ceremony. I remember getting all dressed up, making sure every detail was perfect. I remember how excited and nervous I was all the way there. I remember waiting in anticipation to catch my first glimpse of The Lady of the night. I remember seeing her for the first time, and I have never seen someone quite so beautiful. I remember the sheer overwhelming feelings of her walking three feet away from me. I remember sitting in the audience and thinking how proud I was of her standing up on that stage and all of the words that she said. Being able to see Dianna in person and to hear her speak was probably one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. She has made such a difference in my life and has been a part of what shaped me into the person I am today. Dianna speaks of love quite often, in all forms. Spreading love. Giving love. Being love. Letting love in. Some of her words of love are permanently written on my skin. These words remind me every day to live a life of love. Not only does the most recent addition to my collection say just that, it’s also the most personal to me. Because one year ago today, I got to hear these words spoken by her for myself.