#whogoatqueen

[wnq-writers]

I know everything in this world is all temporary; I know you are temporary in my life and I want you to be temporary until my last breath.

K. H.

[wnq-writers]

you grew inside my heart like a flower that grows in an abandoned place

K. H.

[theprocast]

near-death experiences

“I’m currently staring in the blank white ceiling of this 4-cornered room; and tears are slowly streaming at the side of my eyes through my ears. It’s scary.. I’m afraid.. I can hear the ghost of laughter of my loved ones; I can imagine how beautiful the sky and how bright stars are at night. Cherishing and refreshing those things in my mind for me to bring it in another life; I know I can’t make through this. I know I’m not going to have another day; I will never see the world again. I know anytime my eyes are going to surrender. The moment I felt the heaviness in my heart I knew this is my last breath; I knew tomorrow will never come again.”

“Nothing seems visible; all has gotten very blurry and unclear. I can’t hardly open my eyes to see and the words I wanted to speak are trapped inside my mouth. I’m in great pain, so great that only a few can survive from it. And as for me, I know this is the end. Life was great. I just really hope that for the last time in my existence I could get on my feet and run; and feel the air on my face as I go pass the rooms of the hospital that I am in. I’m dying, I know I am. I regret nothing. I just hope that I did a lot more when I can. Because right now, I am facing death and I just know that I already can’t. ”

“I feel nothing. I can’t remember anything. All I can see right now is a light that invites me. It keeps on consuming my vision and it makes me feel light which I think is fine and right. I don’t know where I am, but I feel safe and a little bit peculiar. This place seems familiar. All I can feel and see is eternal happiness, no physical pain and sadness. No problem, fear and doubts. I don’t want to go out, I want to stay here forever. I feel better now. My soul is filled with love and joy. But as I embrace the light, I remember the things that lead me here. The light becomes dimmer and I can feel the heaviness and pain again under my skin. I can hear voices and the beat of my heart as I open my eyes, I see light passing away. It was just a glimpse of perfection, a glimpse of heaven.”

— a collaboration by @whogoatqueen, @binatilyongrhun and @baekebyan

[theprocast]

Sitting on the pavements in the streets of this lonely dark place as I see through everyone walking in front of me; thinking about how fast time flies and how sad it becomes. I’m closing my eyes with the hope that maybe if I do, tears won’t flow. But then I realized that I can’t really stop what’s meant to happen. And maybe you saying goodbye was meant to be. It’s hard. You told me to be happy. To go find somebody else. But I can’t. It is you that I want and love. Maybe I’ll see you soon. Somewhere that is so much different from here; in a place where we can be together again. And maybe now, I just have to accept that you’re gone. That you’re closing your eyes forever and your heart will never beat again. Hush now, love. I’m sorry for leaving you and I hope I could take away all your sadness. Can you hear me? Can you feel me? I’m always here. I hope you knew that I always whisper you lullaby to sleep. I know you won’t see me anymore but I want you to know that I will protect you and watch you always. Seeing you in sorrow and crying over me make me want to breath again so I could embrace you and ease the pain I’ve caused to you. Seeing you drowning in a wet pillow every night makes me want to just appear by your side and save you. Seeing you sitting alone makes me want to sit you and tell you that everything will be okay. Please don’t forget about me; but I wish you all the happiness and I’m giving you the freedom to open your heart again. I will always be here; loving you, watching you, protecting you.

@whogoatqueen & @binatilyongrhun

[theprocast]

We belong together, till we meet again.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I didn’t mean that your last memory with me was sorrowful. I’m sorry; I’m sorry for letting you go. If you were here I know you would say sorry too but you’re not here, and you will never be here. But wherever you are, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you hence I’m mad at myself; mad at everything; about what happened to us. Maybe if I have one thing I regret the most in my life, it’s about not embracing you for the last time. And I would do anything just to pull back our last night together; instead of arguing with you, I should have hug you and kiss you and told you how much I love you because baby, I miss you so much. I missed you yesterday, I missed you today and I will miss you for the rest of my life. When you left, the brightest star in my galaxy died. When you left, my heart died. When you left, your memories haunt me every night. I miss you; I miss everything about you. If you’re not coming back; at least wait for me there– wait for me in heaven, love. We will meet each other again in new and different world– world that has time for us. Because even in another life, we are meant for each other; we belong together.“

“I know, someday you’ll love someone again, you’ll make new memories with another man. Our memories will fade slowly; you’ll forget my scent, the sound of my laugh, the way I stare you while you eat and sleep, my warm hands, my presence, you’ll no longer be familiar with the structure of my face and eventually, you’ll get tired of reading our book and you’ll just keep it in the darkest corner of your room. I know these things may happen because I’m no longer with you, it’s okay but please, don’t forget about me, about us. Yes, we’re all leaving, but I didn’t expect that I’ll leave this early. I know you’re angry for what happened and I’m sorry for causing you so much pain and loneliness, I didn’t mean to leave you behind. I don’t want to see you sad anymore, please continue your life, for me. You have many days ahead of you, spend them wisely with the people you love. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I will always be in your heart, loving you from a distance. I will always love you, protect you and be with you whenever you go. And when the cold air hits your face, it will be me; kissing you and hugging you from afar. It will represent the loss of my physical form and it will remind you to fight and continue. I’ll be here waiting for you on the other side of the horizon. I can’t wait to hear your endless stories and happiest memories in your life. My body will decay, but my love for you will be forever. I will always be here, till we meet again.”

“A nightmare that I still haven’t woken up from. I felt like everything was falling away from me into oblivion. My smiles turned to frowns, tears of laughter to tears of sorrow, silence to condolences, and hope to grief. It’s impossible to be truly happy when the only person who never left my side, actually left. The pain is unbearable, each time hurting in a way it never had before while clean tears stream down my flushed face. It’s cliché to say after that, nothing was the same but, it’s true. I was alone and for the first time knew my world was in fact ending. I lay awake at night consumed by the thought of you and our memories and everything I didn’t get to say and everything we didn’t get to do. Happiness is seldom what I feel, turning my humanity off, fighting back tears, no matter the smile on my face or laugh in my throat, twinkle in my eyes. You’re all I see, everywhere and it hardly makes me smile, especially as of recent. What I’m trying to say is, I will never have what we had together with anyone else. Memories fade but my love for you will be the same even without you at my side. “

— It can be or on the other side of forever by @whogoatqueen, @baekebyan and @sophistikated-blogger