Reassurance
Fandom: Stray Kids
Sickie: Chan
Caregiver: Changbin
prompt @whumpril
No one’s POV.:
Chan was glad that they didn’t have any real schedule today, only having some songwriting with the rest of the members. It was somewhat special to have the entire group hang out at the 3racha dorm to write music together because it was so much more complex the more people were involved but at the same time, the songs were more meaningful if more members contributed their ideas. Doing it at one of their dorms was also a pleasant change as compared to the studio because they didn’t feel as pressured and Chan was glad to not have to go out at all. The thing was that the leader had come down with a bit of a cold over the previous night and woke up with an annoying buzz in his sinuses, making it hard for him to focus. He didn’t plan on telling the members about not feeling well, mainly because he didn’t feel like it was bad enough to be mentioned but also because he was the leader and eldest. He was always fine.
It wasn’t like Chan could hide his symptoms forever though. Sure, the headache and fatigue were easy to play off but his nose really made him struggle. It always felt like it was running but when he tried to blow it, it was blocked and gosh, did it itch! With Chan constantly scrubbing at his nose, it had turned an irritated shade of pink not long after he had gotten up. Hyunjin had pointed out the slight rasp to the leader’s voice but it was still early, so the dancer was easily convinced that it was just his hyung’s morning voice. Getting everyone settled in the living room was a little chaotic, so no one noticed Chan heading to the bathroom to blow his nose but they did hear the forceful sneeze he triggered. For some reason, blowing his nose had only left it more sensitive.
On his way back to the living room, Chan grabbed himself a glass of cold water because his throat was slowly starting to ache, the harsh sneeze no doubt having strained it. Plopping down on the couch, the Aussie felt like all his strength had left him and he leant into Seungmin’s side, trying to get comfortable despite the deep ache all over his body. Thinking Chan just wanted to tease him again, the vocalist shrugged him off and reminded: “Hyung, just because we’re at your dorm doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work, so let’s please just do something useful.”
The rejection hurt though Chan understood his dongsaeng’s reasoning and also knew that if he admitted to not feeling his best, they’d probably be a lot more understanding, but he didn’t want his cold to interfere with their work. Well, he didn’t intent for it to interfere with their work but there was only so much control that he had over it. Not wanting to annoy the members with his sniffles, Chan tried to avoid it at all costs and instead sat with the cuff of his sleeve permanently pressed against his nose, the fabric slowly growing damp while his skin started to chap. He couldn’t fight off the urge to sneeze though.
Though Chan usually had the habit of blessing himself after every sneeze, his sneezes soon came too frequently to bother. Besides, he was already causing so much disruption and didn’t want to cause any more by commenting on it every time. Maybe he should just tell the members that he was sick. His eyes were already watering badly from the congestion and the sinus headache and fatigue made it close to impossible for him to focus on his task anyway. Chan didn’t really have much time to ponder it though, his breath already hitching again. Ducking his face into the crook of his arm, the leader caught two loud sneezes and despite his best efforts at muffling them, they still startled Jisung enough to make him drop his pen. “Next time a warning would be nice”, the rapper muttered as he shakily picked up his pen. Rolling his eyes, Seungmin teased: “I’ll probably suffer from hearing loss due to a burst ear drum by tonight if you keep going at this rate.”
Knowing that their comments were just friendly banter, Chan tried to not let it get to him but for some reason it still left him feeling self-conscious. He had tried stifling his sneezes before and knew from experience that he wouldn’t be very successful and only get a worse sinus headache in turn, so it wasn’t really worth it. Feeling his nose tingle again, Chan’s heart started to race and he hurriedly scrubbed the back of his hand against his nose to ease the sensation. It didn’t do much except for making his skin burn but he really didn’t want to sneeze again. Sadly, there wasn’t much the Aussie could do about it and he soon lost the fight. The sneeze ended up wetter than expected and had Chan scramble to grab a tissue, making Jeongin chuckle: “I guess I’ll bring an umbrella next time I come over.”
By now, Chan expected that he was probably running a fever too. The members’ teasing wouldn’t usually affect his emotions like this, so there had to be more at play here because right now, he felt ready to cry. Sure, he was well aware that his sneezes were quite loud but he didn’t choose for them to be this way. To make matters worse, Chan’s nose was still itching and he could feel the need to sneeze rise again. Harshly rubbing his nose into the cuff of his sleeve, he tried to fight it off but his breath already hitched desperately. Chan caught a throat-scraping sneeze in his fist and gave a scratchy cough afterwards, eyes watering as they locked with Changbin’s. Something about the hoarse sound told the rapper that there was more going on than his hyung’s nose being sensitive, so he offered for all of them to take a short break.
While Chan made a beeline for the bathroom to properly blow his nose, knock back some medicine and to also get away from the members’ prying eyes, Changbin headed to the kitchen and brewed a cup of tea. The rapper also stirred in a generous spoonful of hones to hopefully soothe Chan’s throat because those last few sneezes had sounded rough. Everyone was still doing their own thing when Changbin approached the leader, steaming cup in hand. “Hey”, the rapper smiled softly, “I made you some tea. If I asked you how you’re feeling, would I get an honest answer?” Gratefully wrapping his hands around the warm cup, Chan sniffled: “Thank you. Tired, frustrated and humiliated, I guess.” – “Now, why’s that?”, Changbin frowned as he led the older to his room, so they’d have more privacy to talk.
Almost tearing up, Chan took a seat on the edge of his bed and muttered: “I-I, I don’ wanna sneeze so much. I don’ wanna sneeze so loud. It’s – It’s annoying and gross and –“ – “And it hurts, doesn’t it?”, Changbin hummed, rubbing the other’s back when he received a pathetic nod, “It’s not annoying or gross or anything like that. It’s natural. You’re sick, I bet you’re running a fever with how warm you feel through your clothes.” Chan hummed in confirmation, admitting: “Just took something for it. Mind’s foggy an’ my emotions are all over the places.” – “Is the teasing getting to you? I noticed you were really quiet… except for all the sneezing”, the rapper asked, gently brushing Chan’s bangs out of his face to get a proper look at his glossy eyes and bright pink nose. The older shrugged and mumbled: “I know they mean no harm….” – “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you”, Changbin pointed out, “You don’t need to be self-conscious, hyung. You’re sick and sick people sneeze. That’s okay.”
Changbin decided that there was no use in Chan trying to write anything while his mind was so hazy that he couldn’t focus. Repeatedly running his fingers through the Aussie’s hair, he hummed: “How about I go talk to the others? We can postpone our session to either tomorrow or maybe in a couple of hours when your fever went down a bit?” – “But we already started and everyone’s here”, Chan sniffled, twisting to his side with a forceful sneeze. The younger handed him a tissue and promised: “They’ll find something else to do, hyung. There’s no way they will get bored. Maybe some will continue noting down their song ideas for a little longer, maybe they’ll enjoy a few fun hours of free time. Nobody will be upset at you though, don’t worry. You should only focus on resting. If you want, I’ll stay with you for cuddles. We could watch a movie or something, at least till you fall asleep.” – “I keep sneezing all the time though”, Chan frowned, giving a thick sniffle as if to prove a point. “You really think I would’ve offered if that was a problem?”, Changbin sighed exasperatedly, “You’re human, that’s only natural and it’s okay.”
After telling the group about Chan’s condition, Changbin joined the leader in his room, carrying a box of tissues and a bag of cough drops. “Is there a specific movie you want to watch or should we just cuddle?”, the rapper hummed as he placed the items on the nightstand. Scooting to the other side of the bed to make room for his dongsaeng, Chan mumbled: “You can pick a movie, so you don’t get bored. I’m perfectly content with just cuddles. Might fall asleep soon anyway.” – “That’s okay”, Changbin smiled, slipping under the blanket next to Chan, “I’d be so happy if you managed to get some sleep. You’re exhausted, aren’t ?” With a hoarse hum of confirmation, the leader nuzzled his face into Changbin’s chest, relaxing when the other draped an arm around his shoulders.
Though Changbin repeatedly reassured Chan that he wasn’t bothered by his sneezing at all, the Aussie still tried his hardest to hold back. That was close to impossible, his nose so unbearably itchy. Scrubbing at his nose with the cuff of his sleeve, Chan attempted to soothe the itch but only managed to earn himself a scolding from Changbin for messing with the already raw skin before sneezing anyway. “Why do you insist on hurting yourself?”, the rapper sighed. He had eventually turned on the TV to watch a random drama, mainly to give Chan the impression that he wasn’t paying attention to him and his struggle, so he’d hopefully stop being so insecure about it.
The truth was that Changbin only paid attention to Chan, completely drowning out the TV, so he of course picked up on every little sniffle and frustrated whine as the older struggled to breathe through the tingle in his sinuses. Occasionally, his breath would start to hitch but when he lifted his hand to rub at his nose, Changbin caught it and linked their fingers. The leader whined hoarsely, nuzzling his face into Changbin’s shirt to quell the itch but it didn’t help. With his hand trapped, Chan aimed two rough sounding sneezes down at the blanket, giving a stuffy cough afterwards. Lightly patting the Aussie’s curls as a blessing, Changbin handed him a cough drop. Though Chan usually didn’t like his hair being messed with for the fear it’d fall out faster, Changbin’s touch was so light and gentle, it made him drowsy in no time and he was soon too out of it to try and fight the urge to sneeze.
When the rapper was confident that Chan wasn’t going to rub his skin raw anymore, he let go of his to at least allow the older to cover. Knowing too much attention would fluster the leader, Changbin refrained from blessing him but acknowledged each sneeze with some form of affection, either running his nails against his scalp or holding him a bit tighter for a moment. Just showing that he was there and that he cared without calling the older out. It was just the reassurance, Chan needed.