#why :)

[rozanovilyas]

🍋

[dahppled]

how to not have issues with alcohol

please

[songofthestarrs]

why is the world so cruel to me

[dreamingswift]

My schedule is as follows:

10pm: go to bed

4am: wake up and have a panic attack over something out of my control and cry and cry

6am: go back to sleep (hopefully)

[thedeathdeelers]

me struggling to get up every morning: i am going to sleep SO early tonight

also me every night at 1am: ah shit

[casbeeminestiel]

What did I miss, y’all?

[mothwingwritings]

Thankful

I literally wrote this today while I was at work and should have been working (heh heh WOOPS) and it’s barely edited, so please take it with a grain of salt. Despite Thanksgiving being my least favorite holiday I really wanted to hammer something Thankgiving-esque out real quick so I created this monstrosity. I just finished the first season of Tokyo Revengers last night and I was inspired. This takes place in one of the many futures, where everyone is adults and the gang is all big shots. Also, I hate Kisaki Tetta and I clearly only enjoy writing for horrible men ELL OH ELL.

F!Reader X Kisaski Tetta

Warnings: unhealthy relationships, physical and verbal abuse and threats, mentioned noncon, yandere, not enough food or alcohol to make spending time with Kisaki worth it, basically unedited bs.

Enjoy, and happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it!

He could sound so sickeningly sincere when he wanted to.

This thought permeated your brain as Kisaki stood next to you at the head of the table, glass raised, undivided attention directed his way as he continued to wax poetic about the feast before you and the company that surrounded it.

This whole soiree was a bit impromptu, at least to you. You guessed with all the decorations, extensive guest list (it seems like all of Toman was here), and bountiful supply of food that there was quite a bit of planning that went into it. Not that your loving husband would make you privy to any of that, as your only job was to ask ‘how high’ whenever he commanded you to jump, and then carry that out no matter how ridiculously high it may be.

You hated him with every fiber of your being, and more often than naught, you believed the feeling was mutual.

You were not Kisaki’s first pick for a wife and lover, not by a long shot. And he made sure to remind you of this every chance he got.  You just happened to be the poor, down on her luck, newbie hostess at the local hostess club that happened to be assigned to his table. You were so nervous to have such a powerful man be one of your first ever clients that you had blindly followed the other more experienced hostess’ instructions, going above and beyond to please him in any way you could, regardless of what that entailed. Looking back on it now, they were totally just teasing the naïve new girl. Hazing you to see how far you would really go with a client so they had something to hold over your head in the future.

Regardless, Kisaki liked it. He liked it enough to come back the next day and the next. He liked it enough to get angry when other people came to see HIS girl. He liked it enough to force you to quit, even when you begged that you needed this job, that it was the only thing keeping you and your family afloat. But Kisaki was a problem solver, and his solution to that conundrum was simple.

Become his wife.

He skipped over dating entirely (or maybe he just considered your nights with him at the club good enough to be considered ‘dating’). The whole course of events was a whirlwind, happening so fast and with so much pressure you didn’t even entertain the thought of saying ‘no.’ At first everything was OK, nice even. You went from living in a rundown apartment struggling to make ends meet, to a swanky suite in the nicest part of town that had a breathtaking view. Your second hand thrifted clothes were swapped with the newest trends from top designers, and your single mom and younger siblings moved out of the slums they lived in to now reside in a spacious house in a nice neighborhood.

Yes, how lucky you were to live in such luxury. Unfortunately, it came at a steep price.

You always held a healthy amount of fear for Kisaki based on what you already knew about him and his gang. But now that you were his property, he was in complete control of every aspect of his life. He was attracted to you because you would do anything to please him, but when you moved in with him and exhibited signs of being your own person with a free will, there were problems. Jabs and heavy handed suggestions of how you should dress, what hair style you should have, what makeup you should wear, any and all aspects of physical appearance he did not like, quickly became orders to change them to something he did. Orders turned into threats and violence. First it was just directed at you, but after some time, he went after your family as well. He went after them in ways not outwardly apparent. Your mom finding the tires slashed on her car after work one day, or your brother being followed home from school, heckled by thugs the whole way. Nothing that could be could be directly linked to Kisaki, but you knew it was him nonetheless.

And it terrified you to think of what would happen when those ‘warnings’ against your family weren’t enough for him any longer. Just how long would it take him to turn physical with them?

So you tried, God did you try, to become perfect for him. Every item of clothing he put out for you to wear, regardless of how much you disliked it, you wore without question. Hair, makeup, smile, even tone of voice, everything about you was now catered towards his taste. There were barely scraps of who you used to be left, but what little there was, you fought to keep. You would give him enough to pacify him and keep your family protected, but he would never consume you whole.

Besides, even with your consistent effort, you were never good enough and you never would be. On the nights he would actually come home from work and he was tired and angry from all he dealt with throughout the day, it set him off to come home to only you,  a cheap stand in for the woman he actually desired, being the only one there to greet him after a hard day. It was in these instances he made sure to brutally remind you just how little he cared for you. When you were left bloody, naked, and violated on the floor, a mess of tears and makeup streaming down your face after he let out his frustrations on you, those were the moments you dreaded the most.

“And of course, I am thankful for my beautiful wife, (Name).”

You were pulled back to reality by the mention of your name. You fought back the bile raising in your throat at the sound it, becoming instantly alert to all the eyes that were now upon you. You made sure not to keep your focus on any one person too long. Despite the fact that he made you wear one of the most revealing dresses of all time to tonight’s dinner, you weren’t supposed to acknowledge anyone’s lingering gaze. He loved to show you off, but hated if you gave anyone else attention.

“It was chance that brought her into my life, and despite all the danger and the temper I know I can sport, I was lucky to have her stay. Though I am sure the extravagant lifestyle I offer didn’t hurt my chances either.”

A murmur of laughter erupted from the other guests, making you tense. Your life had become a cruel joke, hadn’t it? Guess it only made sense to have people laugh at it.

His free hand had moved to the base of your neck, resting in what you were sure looked like touch of affection. You knew better, a slight shiver coursing through you at the feel of his cold skin press a feather light touch upon you.

“Do you have anything to add, sweetheart?”

Your body grew cold. You knew what he was expecting. Right now he expected a demure smile, a loving look, praise for how wonderful he was and how great the life he gave you was to tumble freely from your lips.

Maybe it was the several glasses of wine in your system that emboldened you. Or maybe you had grown so unbelievably worn down by this charade of a life that you felt you deserved one moment of respite from person who had caused you so much turmoil and pain. Whatever it was, you spoke with more confidence than you had felt in a very long time.

“Thank you for all attending, your presence truly is a gift. If you were not here I would be forced to eat all this food alone with my husband and I don’t know what would be worse, the stomach ache that would give me, or the headache I would get from being stuck listening to Kisaki glorify himself for the whole meal.”

Another laugh erupted, this more boisterous. You hid your smile behind your wine glass, remaining a stoic as possible as you enjoyed your brief moment of victory.

And all to brief it was, as you felt his lax grip grow tight around the base of your neck, pinching your skin to a painful degree. He laughed with the rest of the crowd, but it didn’t reach his eyes that bore down upon you in a look so cold, you swore you felt the temperature in the room drop.

“Well with those words, let’s eat.” He concluded, voice sounding jovial as he flourished his hand to the feast before him, “Please, help yourselves.”

Before you could even think of moving, he had gruffly pulled you closer to him, his lips so close they ghosted the shell of your ear, tickling you he spoke.

“We are going to have a long talk tonight darling.” He whispered, his voice so full of malice you nearly whimpered. He followed his words with a firm kiss to the temple, applied with just enough force and held for just long enough that you knew it was meant as a threat of what was to come.

“I guess you still need it hammered into your pretty little head just how much I have given you that you should be thankful for.”