#why so specific

[therealdrownersclub]

April, come she will, when streams are ripe and swelled with rain. May, she will stay, resting in my arms again. June, she'll change her tune. In restless walks, she'll prowl the night. July, she will fly and give no warning to her flight. August, die she must, the autumn winds blow chilly and cold. September, I'll remember a love once new has now grown old.

Mr. Garfunkel, it’s nice to see you again, what a coincidence...

[anetherealdawn]

Here's the bread jesus SCP

SCP-3305 - SCP Foundation

It's a pretty wild read lol

i just realized this was in relation to one of my reblogs but i was half-asleep when i first got this ask so i was utterly confused on what this ask meant until I remembered, which is why this ask was sitting in the ask box for 10 DAYS 😭 sorry minti im a dumbass lmao

anyway you were right because OH MY GOD??? (<- joke not intended)

disclaimer: I don't know anything about SCPs soooo

what do you mean all attempts have failed? what have you all been doing?? how many times did you try???

I'm really starting to understand where the nickname "bread jesus" comes from

the restorative properties?? that's genuinely amazing???

is this technically cannibalism??? cause like. It's a Person (adjacent to Jesus) made of bread + wine giving parts of itself for people to eat but it is still a piece of bread

bread WORSHIP?? guys the piece of bread was toasted for our sins

ok so they don't remember eating or drinking the scp but they still worship it and believe it exists and the scp has to be terminated for amnesiacs to work... theoretically this scp could be really good for healing but unfortunately everyone would then be a part of a bread jesus cult

COVER A VIRGIN IN DOUGH AND BURN IT TO MAKE BREAD JESUS. YEAH. YEAH OK. ALRIGHT MAN.

"It is unknown what happens to the virgin, as all testing indicates SCP-3305-1 is made entirely of bread and wine." is the virgin burnt to a crisp?? where did they go?? does the scp formed have the memories of the virgin or is a new thing completely ?? have we made the virgin into bread and wine

this is so goddamn specific it makes me wonder like what if you were to accidentally have an extra liter of wine or something. would you just make a really drunk bread jesus. or like what if you ignited two virgins in one pile of dough. double bread jesus?!?!?

waaait is this scp just actually the real jesus in bread form???

"The Great Bakery" sobbing 😭

"SCP-3305-1: No, no. I’m just a humble butter knife, spreading the words of The Baker." goddamn it it can make puns too

it feels pain but does it ANYWAY???

"I have suffered for the masses in other terrible ways." i was joking earlier but did they for real toast bread jesus

"Dr. Teller: Are you aware of the actions of a group called “The Westing Church of Wonderbread”? They were responsible for an attack on a bakery in town for selling, and I quote, “Whole Grain, the heathen’s bread”. " bread brand fights?? is this canon to the universe I have no clue

"SCP-3305-1: Not directly, but I should have. I do not condone their message. Wonderbread is terribly bland. I much prefer Pepperidge Farm." LMAO?? they have to fight for better bread smh

this was so much fun to read through I've decided I really like bread jesus / SCP-3305

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

I don't have to invent fluffy headcanons to torture myself. Anet does it for me.

Okay so

I saw some people on Gorrik's tag saying 'happy birthday Gorrik' and I was like well that's kinda random - wait how do we even know his birthday that's cool backstory.

Then I found this:

Oh man.

First reaction VIBE CHECK: flails on the floor, unable to express emotion. This was unbearably sad. This was torturous. Blish what did you do that for. you can't do that to me Blish. Get back here and give your brother a birthday party.

Wait half a sec.

Say WHAT now?

Followup reaction VIBE CHECK: curled up crying on the floor. This has little to nothing to do with the first reaction, that definite older-brother vibe.

Me: staring in the mirror, wondering when exactly is Gorrik's birthday. What date exactly? Does anybody know? Was Blish the only one? Taimi could know, but also perhaps not. did the secret of Gorrik's birthday die with Blish?!

Me: well wait, duh, Gorrik knows of course. We can always ask him. -thinks about logging in-

My Imagination: you walk up to Gorrik and start a casual conversation. because it might be slightly weird to ask 'when is your birthday' out of the blue. You manage to - innocuously enough - ask how old he is and when is his birthday.

Me: oh wait, I can't do that. I have to ask Anet. Dang. There's no provision in-game for asking those questions.

Me, two seconds later: how old IS he though?

Me: HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO STILL HAVE BIRTHDAY PARTIES

Hence, the vibe check of crying on the floor.

[adventureswithsampson]

Probably an unpopular opinion, but I find it weird when people are super obsessed with making sure every thing for the baby is “girly” or “boy colours” will your baby really know if your nursing pillow is girly or the baby carrier? will it make the baby any less a girl?

[hochoa]

Every once in a while I lament over the fact that I am not a cute boy with broad shoulders and narrow hips

[sonnyafternoon]

.

[chicago-geniza]

Everyone focuses on "hot and steamy with the potential to get hotter and steamier" and Assad getting flustered and stammering/stuttering through his fantasy of practicing the turning scene with Eric but the most insane moment of that Comic Con interview. To me. Was Rolin dropping "Julius Hotel room 446"

[stresslessbaaby]

what traumatized me in my childhood that made specifically exes to lovers to my favorite trope