โโงห๏น๐๐๐๐๐ . she/her. 20s. bisexual. virgo sun, aquarius moon & scorpio rising. chronically invested in daydreams & fantasies. lover of angst and cliche. nsfw blog.
๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐/๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ : you are a minor. this is an 18+ blog, as both my writings and the general content on this blog leans toward nsfw. ageless/minor blogs will be blocked. i block blogs for a plethora of reasons and if you feel line you were blocked for no reason, feel free to reach out. this blog is also pro-human rights in every capacity. if you're a bigot, you'll be blocked. it's that simple & for my own sanity.
youโve been in love with your best friend from high school, but buried all of your feelings to keep your friendship safe. enjin doesnโt realize his own until someone else starts looking your way, and heโll do anything to be the only one in your heart.
tagsย หสโกษหย modern/college au, frat!jin, fem!reader, best friends to lovers, she fell first he fell harder, jealous and possessive enjin, barely there zodyl and reader (two scenes at the start to push the story forward), mentions of recreational drug use and drinking, swearing, plot with porn, virgin!reader, first time p in v sex, oral (f receiving), implied size difference, mating presses, whole lotta praising, talking you through it, enjinโs a down bad softie!! he's also a biter, and uses a lot of pet names, possible dacryphilia if you squint, kind of proof read but i blacked out halfway through, not beta read
wcย หสโกษหย 10.3k
a/nย หสโกษหย did i hear someone say more frat!jinโฆ? I AM HERE TO PROVIDE! iโm not the most comfortable with writing smut, but i wanted to give it a shot. i hope it turned out alright, and i do wanna try writing it more, so be patient with me since itโs a bit rough :,) ya girl needs practice lol. not the happiest with this one but i must feed you all with more of my agendaโฆ xx
Itโs the most picture perfect Saturday morning in Augustโthe sun coming in all warm and golden through the kitchen windows, the air still cool before it turns gross and sticky later, and birds singing like theyโre only there to romanticize the start of the semester. The first week of classes is over, no assignments due and no responsibilities pulling at you yet. Everything is so quiet and calm. So peaceful.
You should be in bed. Still asleep. Rotting peacefully all warm nโ cozy under your comforter.
But no.
Youโre in Enjinโs kitchen at the ass crack of dawn making this dumbass hangover remedies.
The blender kicks on and he groans from the table behind you like heโs on life support. โDoes that thing know how to be quiet?โ
โEnjin.โ Could he be any more dramatic? โIt's a blender.โ
โOkay? They need to invent quieter ones.โ
He went too hard at his fratโs opening party last night. Gris had to physically drag his barely functioning body home earlier this morning, and not even twenty minutes later he was calling you whining and all pathetic, โPlease come help me, ma'โฆโ
Were you shocked by the condition he was in? Not even a little. If anything, this is tame for an early-semester hangover. Youโve seen him way worse, like, foaming at the mouth and nonverbal. Youโre surprised he hadnโt died from alcohol poisoning along the way.
Did you start bitching at him the second you walked through the door? Obviously. And did he have the nerve to squint at you and go, โBaby, can you not? My head is literally splitting,โ like youโre the villain here? Yes. Which only made you double down, because the audacity of catching an attitude while youโre voluntarily providing emergency services before your internal alarm clock went off is, quite frankly, insane.
But you still got to work anyway.
You set the smoothie down in front of him, then slide over the plate of eggs and toast you made. It looks wholesome sitting next to the half-drunk Gatorade heโs been nursing since he woke up.
He stares at the plate, poking at the eggs and breaking the yolk. โI kinda thought youโd bring McDonaldโs or somethingโฆโ
You smack him upside the head and point at the food. Enjin glares at you, yet takes a bite anyway. He can whine all he wants, but heโs the one who begged you to come overโnot to mention your breakfast clears a McGriddle by a mile.
Sitting across from him with your arms crossed, you yawn. You were up late tooโjust not stumbling around his frat house. You stayed in, binge-watching shows to reset your brain after getting handed all your new classes this week.
Enjin had something to say about that too, complaining about how your attendance at his frat was so important to him. But thatโs when all the crazies come out, and there was no way you were dealing with blackout freshmen puking on your shoes.
It was bad enough youโre stuck taking care of an almost-puking Enjin as it is.
He's talking, nearly spitting pieces of egg at you.
โEw, grossโdonโt talk with your mouth full. I know your mom taught you better than that.โ
He ignores the jab and picks up a piece of toast, holding it out toward you. โYouโre going to make a good wife someday, youโve already had plenty of practice with me.โ
You snort. โI donโt play wife with you, Iโm basically your maid.โ
โMaid, wife. Same difference.โ
โYouโre such a dick, you know that?โ
Your eyes drift past him to the wall behind the kitchen table. The photos are still taped up unevenly with peeling cornersโpictures of his frat brothers, old high school friends, random blurry party shots. Then there are the ones of you two.
Prom. Graduation. One from the first time you ever hung out outside of schoolโboth of you younger, awkward, not quite this version of yourselves yet.
Youโve been best friends since high school. He was new, and you were assigned to show him around. He wasnโt all that different back thenโstill sassy and observantโbut he was quieter, less sure of himself, and you were the first person who made the place feel less foreign for him.
Sometimes you think it was fate that shoved you into each otherโs lives that day, because without it, you probably wouldโve stayed in completely separate circles. You donโt think you wouldโve chosen each other on purpose.
As much as you canโt stand him some days, youโre inseparable. Heโsโcorny as it soundsโyour person. And if anyone asked him, heโd say youโre his too. Zero hesitation.
And if things werenโt already stereotypical enough as is, youโd definitely had feelings for him at one pointโbecause who wouldnโt have? Enjinโs always been a hot shot. Even as a teenager he's had that thing about him. It wasnโt exactly earth shattering and shocking that you developed a crush.
You had a boyfriend when the two of you first met (sadly your first and only one, actually), which ended a bit after you and Enjin became inseparable. He said it was because of how close you were. At the time it felt crazy dramatic, but looking back, you get it. When youโre young, any attractive guy with that kind of presence feels like competition.ย
Especially one who seems to understand you better than your own boyfriend does.
And once that fell apart, you fell. Head over your damn heels. Heโs cute and funny, makes you feel important and treats you like you're his girlโjust not officially. Princess treatment before it was even a joke between you twoโto this day youโre spoiled absolutely rotten. It wasnโt exactly hard to grow heart eyes.
But first and foremost, you were his best friend. That was the foundation, and always had been. And over time, that really did become enough.
It took a little while to settle into that reality, sure. But as you both grew up and matured, you realized something importantโyou didnโt want to risk losing your person over feelings that might complicate everything. Being his homegirl, his ride or die, the one he calls firstโthat meant more than anything ever could.
~
One month laterโฆ
โExcuse me.โ
You turn at the voice behind you.
Itโs some guy youโre pretty sure you havenโt noticed in this lecture beforeโand you feel like you wouldโve remembered him. Heโs got this blank, almost drained expressionโlike he hasnโt slept in weeks, which is pretty impressive considering itโs only the second week of the semester. There are faint streaks of grey in his hair too. Damn, how old is this guy?
Okay, he doesnโt look old. Just like heโs lived three lives already and none of them went smoothly. Hereโs to a fourth?
โDo you have this weekโs notes?โ he asks. His voice is nice, low and deep. Pretty, even. It just sounds like heโs running on a dead battery.
โYeah,โ you tap your laptop. โTheyโre all on here though.โ He nods once. โThatโs fine.โ
Thereโs a pause. Heโs still looking at you.
โSoโฆ Do you want me to email them to you, orโฆ?โ
He nods again and gestures toward your laptop.
You hesitate for half a secondโbecause, hello, strangerโbut hand it over anyway.
โI feel like I havenโt seen you in class before,โ you say, attempting small talk while he types in his email. He doesnโt look up. โIโm always in the back. I moved up a few seats because someone kept taking mine.โ
โThis late in?โ You let out a small laugh. โSwear some people donโt understand seating rules.โ
โThere are seating rules?โ
โUmโฆ yeah. Like, once you pick your seat the first week, everyone just collectively agrees thatโs your spot.โ
He finishes typing and hands the laptop back to you. Youโre still not sure what to make of him. You glance at the email he sent it to. โZodylโฆ cool name.โ
โThank you.โ
You try to introduce yourself in return, but he cuts you off, โI know.โ
Youโre spent thinking about that interaction for the rest of the day. Youโve met some interesting people before, but heโs definitely up there.
Later that evening, sprawled out on your floor and staring at the ceiling while Enjin lounges on your bedโyouโre rambling, replaying every second of it while he half listens, tossing in comments whenever he feels like it.
โHe kind of looks like a bug,โ you say, sitting up suddenly. โWait. What if he is a bug and just hasnโt figured out human interaction yet?โ
Enjin hums. โSounds like youโre bug-phobic.โ
โI am not! I can be accepting of bug people. He seems nice enough. Justโฆ super weird.โ
โMaybe he thought you were pretty. Made him nervous.โ
โHe did not seem into meโโ
โNah, he wanted a piece of that and short-circuited.โ
You smack his leg. โShut up. Quit being an ass.โ
โIโm serious!โ He kicks that same hand, โGuys get weird when theyโre into someone.โ
Heโs not overly concerned about this Zodyl guy, but you forming connections with random men has always made him cautious.
Enjin knows how guys are. He is oneโand youโre his girl to look out for.
โZodylโฆโ He finally looks up from his phone to glance at you on the floor. โIsnโt he the one who hangs out with that super wacked-out group?โ
You scoff. โArenโt you one to talk.โ
โI think heโs a narc. Actuallyโno. Maybe not. Pretty sure one of his friends is on drugs.โ
โCan you be nice for, like, two seconds?โ
โSays the girl who just called him a bug. Guess weโre both hypocrites.โ
~
When you walk into class again, Zodyl is sitting in the seat next to yours. He doesnโt acknowledge you when you drop your bag down and pull your chair out, just sits there facing forward like a creepy NPC in a horror game.ย
You've started unpacking your things when he speaks. โThank you for your help.โ
โWithโฆ?โ
โLending me your notes.โ
โOh.โ You remember. โYeah, no worries. Iโm glad Iโm not taking them for nothing.โ
โI didnโt steal anyoneโs seat.โ Zodyl looks at your confused expression for a brief second before facing forward again.ย โThe seating rules.โ He adds, a strand of hair falling near his nose in a way that feels cinematic. โNo one had been sitting here. I didnโt take a seat.โ
You canโt help but laugh. โI mean, I wasnโt filing a complaint.โ
โI didnโt want you to think I was inconsiderate.โ
The professor starts shuffling papers at the front, and students are settling in. โDo you care if I stay here?โ he asks.
You look at him properly this time. Okay, maybe he doesnโt seem as strange up close. โNot at all,โ you say, smiling. โMi casa es su casa.โ
โWhat?โ
โNever mind.โ You wave it off. โYouโre welcome to sit there, Zodyl.โ
After class, he hands you a piece of paper. You take it, looking confused as you glance down at it and back up at him.
He gestures toward sheet in your hand. โYour number.โ
You blink. โMy phone number?โ
Passing you a pen as confirmation, you think he couldโve passed you his phone insteadโbut sure. This works too.
โIf I need more help. You do well with this subject.โ
โYeah, of course!โ You beam at the compliment. โAlways happy to be of assistance.โ You think, just for the faintest moment, there may be the slight chance of the smallest smile on his face. Or youโre crazy.
As heโs going to leave, โI like your sweater. Purple is a nice color on you.โ
Later that afternoon, you burst into Enjinโs apartment without knocking. โZodyl asked for my phone number. Well, sort of. He didnโt really askโโ
Enjin barely reacts to the intrusionโyou do this all the timeโmid-sip of his beer.
โBug-man?โ He asks, eyeing you as you pace around his kitchen.
โYes, bug-man,โ youโre practically doing laps around the room. โBut heโs not actually that scary up close.โ
โHe was up close?โ
โHe moved to the seat next to mine. And then asked if it was okay that he stayed there.โ Pause. โIt was kind of cute.โ
โSo now bugs are cute?โ
You grab an apple off his counter and throw it at him. โShut up, Jinโ. Iโm trying to tell you what happened.โ
Enjin holds his free hand up in mock surrender. โMy bad, mama. Continue.โ
Your pacing begins again, along with the rambling. โHe kept staring at me. Like, a lot. At first it was uncomfortable. Full eye contact, no blinking. I thought he was glitching.โ
โSome people pay extra for that kind of attention.โ
โWhat did I tell you about shutting up? Anyway, he asked for my number. Said it was for โhelp with class,โ but then he complimented my sweater.โ
Putting your hands on your hips, you grin at Enjin, all teeth and bright eyes. โSo now Iโm kind of flattered by the staring. Maybe you were right. Maybe he does think Iโm cute.โ
Enjin tilts his head, โOf course he thinks youโre cute,โ a beer is tossed to you. โIโve been saying that. Took someone long enough to catch up.โ
He gestures his can towards you. โJust donโt let him steal my spotlight.โ
Which, unfortunately, after a few weeks, kind of started happening.
You were talking to Zodyl more. In class, obviouslyโbut outside of it too. Sure, sometimes it was about lecture stuffโhe did need help here and there. But heโd also start talking about projects he was working on, random ideas, or things he was building.
You still made time for Enjin, it wouldโve been crazy not to. The routine included being at his place constantly, or he was at yours, or you were out somewhere with the group, or at one of his parties. You saw him pretty much every day.
But now, sometimes your phone would buzz and youโd glance down mid-conversation. Or youโd cut yourself off to respond to a text. Or youโd casually bring up bug-man (the nickname stuck).
It wasnโt that you had a new guy friend. Youโve always had them. You and Enjin share a huge friend groupโyouโre close with Gris, with Follo, with August and Corvusโeven the dweeb kids Zanka and Rudo that Enjin somehow adopted during his fraternity service hours at the high school. You being friends with other guys has never been new, never been weird, and never been a problem.
What was new was that this guy was clearly into you.
And, again, Enjin knows how guys are. Enjin is guys. Mr. Easy. Mr. I-know-exactly-what-theyโre-thinking-because-Iโm-thinking-it-too. So yeah, it made him stressed. Not because he thought you couldnโt handle yourselfโbut because he knew how quickly things could flip. He didnโt like the idea of you getting played, used, or fed some bullshit.
You were his to look out for.
At first he didnโt pay much attention to Zodyl. But now? His guard was fully up, because if anyone was going to rescue you from a bad situation, it was him.
He crashed out a little when you skipped your weekly fast-food movie night to study with thatโฆ thing. You hadnโt missed one since you started them as teenagers. Sick? Heโd just show up at yours. Busy? Youโd make it work.
But no. Here comes the cockroach, interrupting tradition.
It didnโt help that Zodyl knew who he was, too. Which, okayโfair. Enjin was known campus-wide for more than a few reasons. That wasnโt the shocking part. What was shocking was how much he knew.
โOkay, so heโs a narc who hangs out with a druggie and now heโs a stalker,โ Enjin said at one point, throwing his hands up after you casually mention something Zodyl knew about him that felt way too specific. โHow the hell does he know about my lucky umbrella?โ
You sigh, rubbing your forehead. โFirst of all, heโs not a druggie and his name is Jabberโโ
โThe fuck kind of name is Jabber? Thatโs not helping his case.โ
โโSecond of all,โ you continue over him, โyou carry that umbrella everywhere. Even when itโs sunny. Zodyl is just observant.โ
โWhy am I being observed?โ Enjin demands. โAnd how does he know itโs lucky!โ
He didnโt like Zodyl. Not at all. And technically, he didnโt even know him. Even if Zodyl somehow knew too much about him.
One time, Enjin spotted him in passing on the way to class. Decided to be mature about it for you. If this guy was going to be in your life, the least he could do was be polite.
He waved. Gave him his best smile, pearly white canines flashing in greeting. โHey, man!โ
Zodyl didnโt even look at him.
But Enjin had always been your number one complication when it came to men. Either he scared them offโbecause being best friends with a hot, confident guy is intimidating (see: your last boyfriend)โor he attracted the wrong ones. The kind who only got close to you because they wanted proximity to him.
Zodyl was neither. He didnโt seem repelled by Enjin, and he didnโt seem particularly interested in knowing him personally either. No weird fan behavior. Outside of, okay, maybe some mildly stalker-ish observational habits.
It was a nice change of paceโhaving someone who seems interested in you and not because of who youโre friends with. Even if Zodyl was kind of weird, and you could never fully get a read on what was going on in his head.
Enjin stayed cordial. For the most part. Heโd toss in a comment here and there when you brought Zodyl upโnothing too serious, just enough to let you know he had opinionsโbut he never outright fought you on it. Unless it was something justified, like ditching movie night. That was so different.
Even with all his side-eyes and sarcastic remarks, he knows youโre an adult. He knows youโre not naรฏve. If anything, he knows you too well to think youโd let yourself get played without noticing.
That doesnโt mean he stops thinking about it.
Or worrying about it.
~
Follo squints at you, Semiu, and Tomme as you push your way into the kitchen. โWhat are you three supposed to be?โ
Itโs Halloween, aka the biggest party of the semester. The house is so packed you can barely see the floor, just a blur of shoes and spilled drinks and strobe lights.
โWeโre kiss, marry, kill,โ Semiu says, lifting the plastic knife sheโs been carrying around all night.
โThatโs basic.โ
Her eyes narrow at him. โAnd what are you?โ
Follo taps the crooked paper plumbob taped to a headband on his head. โIโm a Sim.โ
You laugh. โBe serious.โ
โI am serious.โ
Semiu turns to Gris, whoโs leaning against the counter with fake blood smeared across his shirt. โAnd youโreโฆ bloody Adam Sandler?โ
โI didnโt have time to get a costume, and the blood is from Corvus fighting for his life with Party City vampire gel. At least Iโm not dressed as a prisoner.โ Gris nods toward Enjin, whoโs standing there in an orange jumpsuit. He just smirks. โIt was either Ghostface or this, and I wanted to get handcuffed.โ
Semiu clicks her tongue. โOf course you do.โ
Tomme glances over her shoulder. โTamsyโs somewhere in the living room as an angel.โ Youโre still laughing at everyone, all the shots in your system from the pre-game making things way funnier than they are. โSo weโre all just Pinterest stereotypes tonight, letโs call it even.โ
You make your way over to Enjinโs sideโlike you always doโand hold your hand out for his drink. He passes it without question. Your first instinct is to chug, then just as quickly you gag. โEw, what the hell is in this?โ
โA lot,โ he takes the cup back. โWe all brought different alcohol and just mixed it together. August added grenadine though, so itโs pretty much a cocktail.โ
โThatโs not a cocktail. I feel like I just drank water straight from Chernobyl.โ
He laughs and throws his arm around you, pulling you into his side. In a house this packed, being next to him is the best place. Heโs your designated safe spot.
โAre you supposed to be โkissโ?โ he asks, poking one of the lipstick marks Semiu left on your cheek.
โWell Iโm not wearing a veil or holding a knife, am I?โย
โDo I get one?โ Enjin puckers his lips dramatically, and you slap your hand over his mouth. โGo find someone to put you in handcuffs so I donโt have to deal with you.โ
โI tried, there are no cop girls here. Very disappointing.โ
โShouldโve gone with Ghostface. You wouldโve gotten laid faster.โ
Gris leans over Enjinโs shoulder, eyeing you. โSo. Whereโs your boyfriend?โ Heat flushes your face. โHeโs not my boyfriend.โ
Enjin feels something hot twist in his chest. He couldnโt even get thirty minutes of standing next to you without that thing getting brought up. โHe doesnโt seem like the party type anyway,โ Enjinโs jaw clenches, voice tight.
โYeah, but I asked if he wanted to come anyway. He wasnโt interested.โ
Thank fucking God, he thinks.
And then, like clockwork, your phone lights up.
Every ounce of relief he had evaporates the second he sees the name on your screen.
โHe canโt get enough of you, huh?โ Follo throws in.
Enjin is actually going to punch someone.
You look down at your phone, and your lips curve softly. Your face lights up in a way that makes something in him snap. Before he even thinks about it, he snatches the phone out of your hand and lifts it above your head.
โEnjin!โ you shout, jumping for it. โGive it back!โ
โGet off your phone,โ he holds it higher as you try to climb him. โLive in the moment.โ The messages are still open. He sees the photos you sent earlierโyour costume and a selfie of your trio.
zodyl !!
You look pretty.
Have fun tonight.
His grip tightens around your phone. For a split second he considers smashing it. Instead, he locks the screen and shoves it into his pocket. โNo more phone tonight.โ
โWhatever,โ you shrug him off, visibly annoyed. โWhat is your problem?โ
He doesnโt answer.
โCโmon,โ you grab Semiu and Tommeโs hands. โI wanna dance.โ
You drag them away to the group of people that are dancing in the living room, but never leaving Enjinโs line of sight. He never let you at parties.
Listen, you havenโt had a boyfriend since high school. Youโve never really shown much interest in dating either. So the idea of you actually having something with this guy?
The hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
Leaning back and watching you dance, Enjin decides to actually look at you. Like, really look at you. Figure out what it is thatโs suddenly pulling Zodylโs attention your way.
He starts with your face. Glitter highlight catching the lights, eyeshadow sparkling every time you turn your head. That loose, drunk smile painted in lipstick that matches the kiss prints on your cheeks and collarbones. Your hair falling in messy pieces around your face, swaying as you move.
Then lower.
The lace bra strap peeking out from under your little red dress, the fabric hugging you just right to leave very little to the imagination. His eyes trace the dip of your back. Your eyes. Your hair. Your neck. Your lips.
Your tits and ass.
You.
Oh.
Oh shit.
When did you get this hot?
He suddenly becomes hyper-aware of how you stand out from everyone else in the room.
Youโre the most attractive girl at this party. And not in a โsheโs my best friend so Iโm obligated to think thatโ kind of way.ย
Itโs a โIโve suddenly opened my eyes and realized my best friend would be more than capable of getting my dick hardโ kind of way.
Heโs never thought you were ugly, of course heโs always known youโre pretty.
Itโs justโback in high school, you were so dorky. In his head, thatโs kind of where you stayed. His silly best bud.ย
When youโve known someone that long, they sort of freeze in your mind. You stop updating the image. So heโs always seen you as that teenage girl he met freshman year.
He realizes youโre not that girl anymore. Youโre grown. Youโve been grown.
Fuck, when did that happen?
Had you always gotten this kind of attention looking like this, and he just never clocked it? How did he, of all slutty men, miss your glaring sex appeal?
Is that why all of his past lovers got so angered by you? Because youโwhoโs objectively funny, smart, and clearly very attractiveโwere his girl best friend?
He always brushed it off as jealousy over the attention. And yeah, sure, he gave you a lot of it. Now heโs starting to think that wasnโt it. They werenโt just annoyed, they were threatened. Just as bad as the guys who saw him with you.
You were competition.
And if he were in their shoes? Heโd feel insecure standing next to you too.
Now, knowing there are guys looking at you like that, something fires up under his skin. It doesnโt feel protective anymore, not like it usually does.
It feels territorial.
Youโre his girl. Youโve always been his girlโand now there are other men looking at you?
Absolutely not.
That doesnโt work for him. Thatโs never been how this goes.
~
It becomes Enjinโs number one mission to steer Zodyl away from you. Or better yet, steal you back. Not that youโd actually been taken from him, but his ego took a hit that night, and something in him shifted. Thereโs this new awareness when he looks at youโand he doesnโt know what to do with it except act.
Operation: Kill The Roach.
After the party, heโs insufferable. Groaning every time your phone lights up. Rolling his eyes when you answer a call. Going dead silent the second Zodylโs name gets mentioned. Any hint of him in your sentence and Enjinโs already bitching.
โI dunno babe, I just get bad vibes. Like, he ate birds as a kid or somethinโโฆโ
โBirds?!โ
Youโre over it. Completely.
What used to be light teasing turns into actual arguments. Every time you say youโre going to hang out with Zodyl, itโs a fight. Every. Single. Time. He argues like itโs his job. You can see the jealousy plain as dayโitโs written all over himโbut what you donโt understand is why it showed up out of nowhere. He was fine before!
You try reassuring him. Tell him heโll always be your best friend. Which, apparently, is the worst possible thing you could say. Nothing lands right anymore. You donโt even know what he wants from you at this point.
You and Enjin argue sometimes. Thatโs normal. But itโs never been like this between the two of you.ย
After one particularly nasty fight, youโre sitting on his bed, laptop open, trying to focus on a paper. Heโs right beside you, silent. You can practically feel the heat radiating off himโthe tension is suffocating.
Youโre too tired to deal with it anymore.
โHey.โ
You donโt even look at him. โDonโt start again.โ
โDo you think Iโm hot?โ
That makes you turn. โCome again?โ
Heโs staring at you like heโs dead serious. โI asked if you think Iโm hot. Sexy. Attractive. Whatever.โ
โI mean, yeah. Who doesnโt?โ You squint at him. โIsnโt that what gets you pussy?โ Snorting a little. โDefinitely not your personality.โ
โOkayโฆโ His jaw tightens. โDo you think Iโm hotter than Zodyl?โ
โWhat are you talking about?โ
โPretty straightforward question, ma.โ
โItโs not though?โ He was being insane.
โWhoโs more attractive? Me or him?โ
โDude, where is all of this coming from?โ
โIโm not dude.โ
โOkay, Enjin. Get your panties out of a twist.โ You roll your eyes and scoff at his attitude, turning back to your laptop.
He shuts it mid-citation.
You barely have time to react before he moves in, bracing his arms on either side of you and popping your personal space bubble. You fall back slightly onto the pillow behind you, catching yourself on your elbows.
โStop avoiding the question.โ His eyes are locked on yours, and this doesnโt feel like your usual play-fighting.
โIโโ
โSwear to God, if you dodge it again.โ
โI donโt know!โ Youโre flustered now, fully. Heโs not backing off. You swallow. โI guess I havenโt really thought about it?โ
โThen think about it.โ
You hesitate.
Sure, Zodyl is attractive. In his weird, bug-adjacent way. Handsome. Broody. That whole mysterious thing that works on people if you ignore the super off-putting energy.
But Enjin isโฆ Enjin.
He has a reputation for a reasonโanyone with functioning eyesight would say heโs sexy. Youโve also seen the parts no one else gets to. The real personality under the persona. You watched him grow into the man he is today.
And heโs one hell of a man.
โUmโฆ you?โ It comes out sounding like a question.
Heโs way too close. โWhyโd you say it like that? You lyinโ to me?โ
โNo.โ You push at his forehead with one finger, trying to create space. โI just had to think about it.โ
โDo you need to be convinced?โ
A squeak slips out, โConvincedโฆ?โ
Your face is burning. He doesnโt even fully know what he meant by that, but youโre flushed and breathing shallow and looking at him like that, and his mouth is running ahead of his brain.
One of his hands lands on the headboard behind youโleaning in to where you can feel his breath on your cheek. โYeah,โ he murmurs. โI can convince you.โ
You donโt know what to do with your hands, folding your arms awkwardly across your chest. โJinโโฆ be honest, are you jealous?โ
He jerks back like you slapped him. โJealous?โ The idea is preposterous. What heโs feeling is far deeper than that. โNo. Iโm not jealous.โ
You give a small, unimpressed laugh. โItโs been kind of sounding like it.โ
He sits back with a huff, and youโre still half-reclined, heart racing, trying to process whatever the fuck just happened.
โAwh, cโmon.ย Youโll always be number one in my heart.โ There you go, trying to reassure him again. Youโre teasing, but the way you phrase it makes something twist in his chest.
Number one. Like thereโs a ranking. Like there could be a number two. A number three. Like you could still choose someone else, and heโd justโ
No. It doesnโt matter if heโs first or hundredth. Thereโs no room in your heart for any other man.ย
He doesnโt even know what he wants out of that. A relationship with you?
A relationship?
With you?
The two of you already have one. Just not the romantic kindโand the ideas never really crossed his mind before.
But now that it has, it wonโt leave.
And the more he sits there, the more one thing becomes very clear to him. He wantsโno, needs you to be his.
Enjin only ramps it up from there.
Heโs working overtime with you now. Picking you up from every single class, whether you ask him to or not. And when you walk out of the one you share with Zodyl, he makes a whole production out of itโgrabbing your arm, tugging you into his chest, telling you how much he missed you. Even if he literally saw you twelve hours ago.
Zodyl doesnโt react. No expression. Just a quiet โgoodbye,โ and he walks off.
Then texts you anyway.
So Enjin starts getting more physical. Not that physical affection was ever weird between you twoโitโs always been a thingโbut this is different. Itโs doubled and bolder. A hand sliding onto your thigh with a squeeze while he drives. Pulling you tighter against him during movie night and pressing kisses to the top of your head. Fingers threading through your hair while youโre trying to focus on homework.
At parties, where he used to just rest a steady hand on your lower back to keep you grounded and near him, is now both hands planted on your hips. Your back flush against his chest, chin resting on your shoulder.
He even starts stripping down when he knows youโre coming over. Shirt gone. Sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Hair loose instead of slicked backโthe way he knows you like it. He corners you in the kitchen once while youโre cooking, pressing in close under the excuse of โjust grabbing a cup.โ Tattooed biceps right by your head as he reaches above you.ย
Once, knowing you were coming over, he walked out into the living room straight from the showerโstill dripping. Water tracked down his chest, droplets falling from the ends of his hair.ย
He stretched slowly, arms lifting over his head so his muscles flexed and shifted on purpose, towel falling enough to make you nervous he was about to flash you. Then he looked at you like heโd just noticed you were there. โHey, pretty girl,โ cue a very fake yawn, โwhenโd you get here?โ
Itโs way more intimate than itโs ever been. Friendly affection got left behind a mile ago.
Heโs pulling out every trick he has. And Enjin has magic. He knows exactly how to use his charm, his presence. Heโs slutting himself out more than ever before, and heโs laying it on thick.
Maybe too thick. More than he needed to.
Because thereโs one thing he doesnโt know.
You used to have feelings for him.
You were still frustrated with him. Still violently annoyed. He was overbearing, dramatic, and utterly impossible lately.
But after that nightโafter he had you pinned between pillows and freedom, barely any space between youโyou couldnโt ignore the feelings that slowly started to resurface.
The energy between you felt different. The way he looked at you wasnโt the same anymore. The way he touched you for sure wasnโt.
You started feeling like that same teenage girl who had the fattest crush on her best friend. The one who read too much into every lingering touch and every half-smile. He was getting you all hot nโ botheredโit was embarrassing. You thought youโd grown out of that.
Youโre adults now. You donโt get to have dramatic, delusional fantasies about your best friend suddenly realizing he wants you. Thatโs middle school shit.
Even if, lately, heโs been acting like heโs fighting for his own damn life every time youโre around.
~
โI wanna go bowling,โ Follo announces, taking a drag from the blunt as he lays practically horizontal across the back of the couch. Enjin and Gris have shoved him off at least three times already just to mess with him, but he keeps climbing back up like itโs his assigned seat.
Everyoneโs at Enjinโs place for the night. Thereโs a movie playing in the background that no oneโs actually watching, drinks scattered across the coffee table, his favorite cracked ashtray sitting in the middle as a decorative piece.
Follo pushes himself uprightโimmediately losing balance and sliding off the couch again. โOw,โ he grunts. โWho wants to go bowling?โ
โRight now?โ Gris looks at him like heโs insane.
โYeah. Right now.โ
โWe are not going bowling right now,โ Enjin snatches the blunt from his hand. โMaybe this weekend.โ
โCanโt this weekend!โ August calls out from the floor. โI have a project due!โ You sink back further into the armchair. โI canโt either.โ
Follo groans dramatically. โYou of all people should be able to go. Please?โ
โI already have plans. Iโm sorry though.โ You give him a sympathetic look and he whines at it. Tomme shifts on the floor, propping her chin on your leg as she looks up at you. โWhatโs got you busy?โ
You hesitate for half a second. โUhโฆ I have a date.โ
That gets everyoneโs attention.
Gris lets out a low whistle, and Semiu nods approvingly. โYou go girl. Your years of celibacy are finally over.โ You flip her off playfully. โShut the fuck up, itโs not like that.โ
โFine,โ Follo sighs, still pouting. โYouโre excused from bowling, I guess. Congrats that he finally grew a pair.โ
โThank you for approving my time off, Follo.โ
Enjin goes completely still where heโs standing. Lips pressed into a thin line. Teeth grinding so hard it looks painful.
โYou look mad,โ Folloโs still beneath him on the floor. โBe happy for her!โ
Enjin shoots him a look that could kill. โYouโre too high,โ he mutters, planting his foot against Folloโs chest and nudging him back. โGreen out. Right now.โ
Follo starts dramatically thrashing like Enjinโs actually crushing him, even though heโs barely applying pressure.
He canโt even look at you. He knows if he does, heโs going to say or do something he canโt take back. And he has no idea what that something would even be.
But youโre looking at him.
And Folloโs right. Why canโt he just be happy for you? Heโs your best friend. Heโs always been your loudest supporter, and your biggest cheerleader. Every win, every milestone, every dumb little achievementโyouโve never had to question whether heโd show up for you.
So why is this so different?
You canโt deny that when Zodyl first asked you out, your instinct was to hesitate. With the way Enjinโs been acting lately, and old feelings creeping back in at the worst possible timeโnot to mention the possibility that actually dating someone could put space between you and himโyou were torn.
Enjin doesnโt look at you for the rest of the night.
He stays mostly silent, tossing in a response here and there so he doesnโt completely kill the vibe. But he wonโt meet your eyes. Wonโt laugh at your jokes. Wonโt even brush past you the way he usually does.
Even after everyone leaves and you stay behind to help him clean upโlike you doโhe acts like youโre not there.
When youโre done, you grab your things and head toward the door. โIโm leaving!โ you call out. Your hand is already on the handle when you hear footsteps, quick and uneven.
โWait.โ
He canโt let you walk out like this. You turn. โYeah?โ
Enjin closes the distance in two strides and pins you against the door. One hand on either side of your face, holding you there.ย
โAre youโฆโ he starts, then stops, thoughts racing faster than he can control. โAre you going to go on that date?โ
Heโs so close that you can feel his breath. It pulls you straight back to every moment lately where heโs been inches away, touching you like he does. Your heart is pounding so hard you think he can hear it.
โWhy wouldnโt I?โย
โBecause I donโt want you to.โ
You should be furious. You should call him controlling. Tell him to get over himself. But instead, youโre just hurt. โWhy canโt you be happy for me?โ
The question hits him harder than anything else tonight. It loops in his head until only one answer presents itself.
โThereโs only room for me.โ
โIโve already told youโโ
โNo.โ His voice is stern. โThereโs only room for me.โ
โListen to me,โ you plead. โYou'll always be my best friend, and thatโs never going to change. Itโs okay for me to try out a relationship. I wonโt leave you behind. I promise.โ Your hand lifts to give him a pinky promise, and he pushes it away. โThen try it out with me.โ
You freeze. โWhat?โ
โA relationship. Have one with me.โ
โJinโ, hey. Like I said, youโre my best friendโโ
Those words land wrong just like the others.
Enjin steps back, retreating. โYeah. Youโre right. Sorry, maโ. I overstepped.โ As much as he hates to do it, heโll throw in the towel if you werenโt willing. โBe safe getting home, okay? Have fun this weekend.โ
โStop.โ
โItโs late, and I know you like your Saturdays quiet andโโ
โEnjin.โ Your voice snaps, sharp. โWhat the fuck are you talking about?โ
โWhat are you saying to me? What have you been saying to me?โ You step toward him. Every step feels loud. โDo you like me?โ Youโre right in front of him now, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him down so he has to look at you again. He lets out a half-laugh, half-breath. โUnderstatement.โ
โSince when?โ
โIโve always liked you, baby.โ
โWhen?โ
He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. โThink it started when you came in talking about that bugโโ You tighten your grip. โSorry. Zodyl. When you told me he was texting you nโ shit.โ
โAnd then it was thing after thing, and I realized youโre my girl. Nobody elseโs. Youโre my girl in every way, whether you feel the same or not.โ
โI donโtโโ Your voice wavers. โI donโt understand.โ
He sighs, disgruntled. โWell Iโve been trying to show youโโ
โThen show me now.โ The words make Enjin's heart stop. โIโll be receptive. Help me understand.โ
โYou donโt know what youโre asking.โ
โI do,โ you push. โHelp me understand what youโre feeling.โ The way he hesitates makes you frustrated. โPlease?โ
He surges forward and bites down on your neckโhard. Aggressive enough that you know itโs going to leave a mark. He pulls back just enough to drag his tongue over the indents of his teeth, like heโs making sure it sets.
Your hands fly from his collar to his shoulders with a sharp gasp. It hurtsโreally fucking badโbut the way heโs kissing over it now makes your stomach twist and heat pool.ย
โMy girl,โ he mutters against your skin, words rough between messy kisses and lingering nips. โAll mine.โ His hand slides up your waist to your collar, tugging it aside so he can press another bite into your shoulder.
โNghโJinโ, waitโโ you whimper as he does it again.
โShowing you,โ heโs completely lost in it. In you. In the act of marking you up. โShowing them.โ His hands are gripping you like he thinks youโre about to disappear. Like if he loosens his hold for even a second, youโll slip through his fingers.
When he finally pulls back, his pupils are blown wide, chest rising and falling too fast. He looks utterly wrecked. โIโll do anything for you, maโ,โ he breathes, voice rough, almost breaking. โSo quit lookinโ at other guys and just belong to me. Shitโdo I gotta get on my knees and beg?โ
This is Enjin. The cocky, arrogant, campus-famous flirt whose ego usually fills the room before he does. And right now heโs undone.
For you.
You rub his shoulders, trying to soothe him, thumb brushing over his cheek, under his eye. โYouโre so stupid, you know that?โ
He frowns slightly.
โStupid and blind.โ A laugh escapes you as you recall how obvious you were about your feelings when you were younger. โI had the biggest crush on you in high school, I was so down bad.โ
โWas?โ he hones in on the word.
โWell, yeah,โ you tap his cheek. โI had to get over myself if I wanted to stay your friend. And I did. I learned to be okay with that because I knew the chances of you feeling the same were slim to none. I figured I wasnโt your type.โ
โMyโฆ my type?โ
Thinking back nowโlate nights next to someone else, wondering if you got home safe, if youโd eaten, if you were laughing somewhere without himโhe realizes youโve always been the woman that mattered the most to him. Checking all of his boxes.
โYou always teased me. Called me a dork or weird like I was just your annoying little sidekickโโ His fingers hook into your belt loops and he yanks you forward before you can finish, lips crashing against yours.
Itโs desperate, rough and messy. Nothing like the soft, perfect first kiss with him you imagined when you were sixteen.ย
Your hands paw at his chest as he kisses you like itโs life or death, like this is the only way he knows how to prove himself worthy for you. With those fresh bite marks burning against your skin, a declaration of his claim on you, youโre living out your childish wet dream of your best friend.
With Enjin.
He pushes you backward and you stumble, falling onto the couch with a breathless laugh that dies the second he follows.
Enjin doesnโt hesitate. Heโs on you immediately, bracketing you in, one hand planted by your head while the other grips your waist. He wedges his leg between yours to keep you right where he wants you. โShouldโve realized sooner,โ frustration and want tangled together in him. โCouldโve saved us so much time.โ
He rolls his hips down just enough to make you gasp, a soft sound slipping out before you can stop it.
โFuck,โ he growls into your mouth. โYouโre so hot.โ
The compliment goes straight between your legs. The idea of Enjin looking at you like thisโwanting you like thisโused to feel delusional, so far fetched. And now youโre pinned beneath him while he kisses you stupid.
This is different from anything youโve ever had. Your kisses with your ex-boyfriend donโt even compare. Those were childish polite pecks.ย
The way he makes out with you is art. He nips at your bottom lip, drags his tongue along the seam of your mouth until you part for him. His hands slide under your shirt, palms warm against bare skin, fingers splaying like heโs mapping you out because he never got to before.
Heโs going to make up for lost time.
Enjin knows youโve never done anything like this before. Semiu wasnโt joking about your years of celibacy, and the fact that heโs the one youโre here with right now does something reckless to his ego.ย
He wants to be the one you remember, the one your body responds to without thinking. The one who teaches you what this is supposed to feel like. He wants it burned into you so deep that no one else even registersโin a way where when you close your eyes, itโs him. When you think about being touched, itโs him. When you imagine wanting someone, itโs him.
Heโs not just trying to winโheโs trying to make sure thereโs no competition ever again.
A hand slides up your stomach to the underwire of your bra, teasing the edge and making you shiver. His thumb brushes over your nipple, leaving you gasping for airโa silent plea for more. All while his other hand finds the waistband of your pants, tugging impatiently as he kneads your breast. Every touch of his ignites your skin.
Enjin pulls back just enough to look at you, hand still hooked at your waistband, thumb brushing the skin there while his lips trail back down to your neckโslower this time, less frantic.
โIs this okay?โ Heโs bracing himself for rejection. โIf you donโt want this, Iโll stop. We can pretend it never happened.โ
โYou can go on your date,โ he adds, voice rough but steadier than before. โAnd Iโll stay in my place.โ
As much as Enjin doesnโt want you to deny him, he meant it when he said heโll do anything you ask of himโeven though the erection in his pants hurts so bad right now.
โNo,โ fingers fisting into his hair as you try to pull his lips back onto yours, you thrust your hips up to meet hisโdesperate for any friction to satiate the pooling between your thighs. โI donโt wanna stop, donโt wanna goโโ
In one smooth motion, heโs lifting you up and carrying you straight toward his bedroom. The door barely makes it open before heโs tossing you onto the bedโhands everywhere, guiding you, pressing you down.
He goes for your shirt first, tugging it up and over your head with impatient hands, barely giving you time to catch your breath before heโs working at your pants too.
Enjin sits back to look at you, nearly bare in nothing but your undergarments. Your chest is rising and falling, cheeks pink with swollen, glossy lipsโhis eyes trace your form, staring at the marks on your neck and shoulder. The expanse of your skin to leave more.
He feels his dick twitch and drool.ย
Shrugging his shirt off and tossing it aside, the tattoo along his stomach makes his abs stand out every time he moves. That mixed with the view of an imprint of his ever so hard cock beneath his sweats? Youโre salivating.
Enjin catches you looking and grins. โLike what you see?โ
โI could say the same for you.โ
โIs that even a question?โ He laughs under his breath. โFuck yeah I do.โ
He leans down, mouth trailing lower, lower, lowerโkissing along your stomach, over your hip, until heโs hovering right where you need him the most. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing a slow kiss to the inside of your thigh.
Itโs soft, almost sweet. And then he bites again.
You jolt, and he looks up at you with that dangerous half-smirk as a faint red mark begins to bloom. โAnd this,โ he traces his finger in a circle around the mark, โis for only me to see.โ
His breath ghosts over your soaked panties, hot and teasing. Your hand presses against his forehead to stop him, and he groans at your touch. โWait,โ your hips twitching up despite yourself. โYou donโt have toโฆ I know some guys donโt likeโโย ย
Enjin makes a show of pulling the lace down with his teeth. He flicks his tongue along your slit just once, slow enough for you to feel every damn nerve ending scream for more before pulling back with a shit eating grin. โNah, that ainโt me, mama.โ
The second those words leave his mouth has you clenching around nothing.
His tongue drags a filthy stripe from your entrance to your clit, and the second he tastes how wet and sweet you are has him grinding into the bed. โFuck," he rasps, โlook at that. All for me?โ His thumb replaces his mouth just long enough to circle slow, maddening patterns while his other hand pins your hips down.ย
You choke on air when he finally sucks hard on that swollen budโthe vibration of his groan shooting straight through you as one finger sinks inside without warning. โMine,โ Enjin repeats like a prayer between licks, teeth grazing where it makes stars explode behind your closed eyelids.
Your fingers fly to weave through his golden strands of hairโletting out a louder moan than you intended toโbefore slapping a hand over your mouth to muffle your sounds.ย
No, he canโt have that.
With his free hand, he pulls yours away to lace your fingers together. โAwh, donโt do that. Let me hear you.โ
Rough tongue sending sparks coursing through you, he slips in another fingerโcurving them just right to hit that spot inside of you and drive you mad. His fingers tighten around yours, holding your hand like a lifelineโand you can see him shaking, straining as he fights the need to just get closer to you.ย
Youโre practically crying from just his mouth and fingers aloneโyou canโt imagine what itโll feel like to have him inside of you. โAghโfuck! Oh, Enjinโโ
โThat's it,โ heโs purring against your clit, โkeep sayinโ my name just like that.โ
Itโs too muchโtoo good. When you unconsciously try to wiggle away from his hold, Enjin tskโsโgrabbing your thigh by his head and pulling you back, pushing your hips down again to keep you in place. โWhere are you runninโ off to?โ His eyes are locked on you. โYou're stayinโ right here, princess.โ
โPlease, pleaseโJinโ, pleaseโโ You havenโt got the slightest clue what youโre begging for, but you just know you need more.ย
The obscene sound of you soaking his fingers punches an embarrassing moan from Enjinโs throat. Your back arches off the bed because of itโlips parted around his nameโwhile he watches with pupils blown black.
Enjinโs hips continue to jerk mindlessly, and he swears heโs going to bust his load in his pants from just the taste and sight of you.ย
โNghโEnjin, I think Iโmโโ Attempting to warn him of your increasing climax, youโre cut off by him pulling away, coming up to kiss you. Itโs softer this timeโat least compared to his rough, desperate lips earlier. โNot yet.โ
Taking off his pants, he finally releases his cock from its hold. You canโt help but gape at itโtip red and angry, drops of precum leaking down. Itโs unfairly pretty.
And itโs big.
He reads the slightly fearful look on your face, rubbing soft circles into your hips. โHey, weโll take it slow, okay?โ Every touch is a silent promise to youโthis is Enjin, youโre safe. Heโll always take care of you.
Lining himself up at your entrance, he looks at you for confirmation. This okay?
You swallow, nodding. He smiles, leaning down to press a kiss against your cheek as he pushes just the tip in.
โShitโโ You wince in pain with a sharp inhale. Enjinโs lips brush over your temple as he pushes in inch by inch. โRelax, baby. Just breathe, Iโve got you.โ
Bottoming out has him moaning, head dropping to the crook of your neck. โYou feel so good.โ
Every muscle in his body contracts, trying not to moveโthis is your call, and heโll wait however long he needs to. Eventually, the pain subsides into a dull acheโbut underneath it is something better. When you feel his dick twitch inside of you, it makes your breath hitch.
You tap his shoulder.
โYou can move.โ
Enjin pulls back ever so slightly, before rocking back into you. โYou're shaking,โ He nuzzles the curve of your shoulder, inhaling the scent of sweat and your perfume. โYou okay?โ
The feeling of that first thrust catches you off guard, and you gaspโrunning your hands down the ink on his chest. โPerfect.โ You nod profusely. โPlease donโt stop.โ
Slowly but surely, his hips start rolling in more shallow movements as he watches your face twist with newfound pleasure. Youโre clenching around him so hard itโs taking everything in him to last, which was no easy feat right now. โYouโre so tightโโ
โYou sound like thatโs a bad thingโฆโ
That makes him laugh, even though half-way through it he chokes on a groan when you tighten up on him again. โNo, baby. Far from a bad thing.โ
โYouโre so wet,โ a kiss, โand grippinโ me like this,โ a thrust. โFuck, maโโitโs makinโ me lose my damn mind.โ He picks up speed, and it feels so good that you are crying now. Big, fat tears beading at your lashes and running down your face.ย
โShh, donโt cry baby,โ Enjin cooes, catching the drops of salty tears with his tongueโlapping them up as they fall. Your nails claw down his backโso hard he thinks he may be bleedingโbut that only turns him on more.ย
Itโs kind of wildโseeing you laying beneath him, eyes glazed over and glossy with tears, moaning his name and crying, all fucked out on his dick. Never in a million years would he have thought heโd be balls deep inside of youโbut now heโs cursing himself for not doing this so much sooner.
His cock is hitting nerves that your fingers or toys could never reach, and your back arches into him every time it kisses your cervix. You also couldnโt believe you were having sex with Enjinโsilently thanking whatever higher power is up there for finally granting your wish.
โYouโre so beautiful.โ His hips roll in mind blowing circles. โAnd youโre so smart, funny, and kind.โ Every praise is accompanied with a thrust that knocks sounds you didnโt even know you were capable of from your lips.ย
โYouโre all mine, right?โ You babble, nod, whatever. But thatโs not what he wants. He takes one hand and grabs your jaw, the other reaching down to circle your clit. The added stimulation along with him hitting all of the right spots in your gummy walls makes your vision blur. โNghโyes! Right thereโfeels so goodโฆโย
โWrong answer, try again.โ His thrusts are brutal now, all softness out the window. โLet me hear you say it.โ He grips your jaw harder, forcing you to look him in the eye, โI know you can. Cโmonnnโjust use your words, princess.โ
โYours!โ You cry out, โMโ yoursโall yours, oh!โ One particular snap of his hips has you practically screamingโyou make a mental note to write an apology letter to his neighbors. โOnly wanna be yours, Enjinโโ
โAlways have beenโโ You take his face in your hands, โNever loved anyone elseโโย
Your nails raking down the sweat-slick nape of his neck has him moaning and moving like a damn dog in heat, hips jerking like a live wireโs been shoved up his spine. โI never ever will!โย
Your voice is like cupidโs arrow right in his heart. No pussyโs ever had him this drunk on it beforeโlosing all of his self controlโbut that was just the spell you had on him. Constantly pulling at his heart strings, and shit, he wished he'd always loved you this way.
Maybe he had. Maybe you were right that he was stupidโhe never really was very good with feelings. Heโll never make a mistake like that again.
โThatโs my good girl, always sayinโ exactly what I want to hearโฆโ Heโs trying so hard to hold on. โGodโMโ sorry, mamaโโ Enjinโs hands lock around your thighs, hiking them up until theyโre flush with your chest and heโs wearing them like a necklace. โDidnโt mean to make you wait this long.โ
You didnโt think it was possible for him to get any deeperโbut fuck, he wasโthe stretch burning so good, and you can practically feel him in your stomach. His thick cock bullies into your tight cunt with little to no mercy, forehead pressed against yours, and your walls flutter around him as the coil in your stomach tightens.
โYou gonna cum for me?โ He goes faster, harderโhe could win an Olympic medal at this point. โPlease, baby. Need you toโโ The pace of his thumb circling around your clit speeds up, giving you about 30 seconds until you fall apart. โNeed you to cum all around my cockโโ
Your vision goes white as you snap, orgasm rushing over you in mind blowing waves. You fall forward, this time biting down on his neckโhard enough to bleed and bruise.
โMineโmine, mine, mineโโ If youโre going to be his, then heโs going to be yours. No more Mr. Playboy. Youโre not about to let him claim you without claiming him right back. If he wants you locked down, then heโs locking the fuck down too.
โFuckโyeah baby, just like thatโฆโ Enjinโs cumming harder than he thinks he ever has in his lifeโthe feeling of your walls spasming and clenching as you experience your own release, your teeth sinking into his skin, the sound of your cries and chanting right by his earโit leaves him fucking you rough and filthy through both of your highs.ย
You think this must be what heaven feels like. If you died right now, youโd be at complete and utter peace with the life youโd lived.ย
His hips slow, easing your legs gently back down around his sides. Youโre utterly wrecked beneath himโflushed and panting, skin glowing with sweat, shimmering almost like the glitter you always dust across your collarbones at parties.
Youโre the most beautiful thing heโs ever seen.
The way your hair fans out on his sheets. The way your lips are swollen and bruised from kissing him. The way your eyes are looking at him right now. He wants to burn the picture of you into his brain forever.ย
Enjin slowly pulls out and you mewl at the overstimulation, then at the loss of him inside of you. โWas that okay?โ His eyes search your face like heโs looking for any sign he messed up.
โMore than okay,โ you reach up to trace the mark you left on him. Itโs dark and gnarly. You wince. โSorry about thatโฆ But was it okay for you, too?โ
โBest sex Iโve ever had, baby.โ
Enjin drops back onto the bed and pulls you into his chest where you belong. โAnd donโt apologize. I liked it, was hot as fuck. I feel branded nowโmight go get it tattooed.โ
โYouโre gonna get so much shit from the guys.โ
โDo I look like I care?โ
You run your fingers over the lines of his tattoos, tracing them absentmindedly while he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. โWe should probably get you cleaned up.โ
Heโs right, your thighs are sticky from your combined juices now leaking outโbut you whine and cling tighter to him. โNooo. Not yet. In a bit.โ
โYouโre such a spoiled brat.โ
โYour spoiled brat, if I remember correctly.โ
โYeah, my pain in the ass.โ
His heartbeat thuds beneath your palm, his hand rubbing slow circles into your back like heโs trying to lull you to sleep. โGot a question for yaโ.โ
You lift your chin to look at him. โWhatโs up?โ
โYou still going on that date this weekend?โ
You roll your eyes and pinch his cheeks lightly. โDonโt ruin the moment.โ
He grins. โSecond question.โ
โGod, what now?โ
โGirlfriend?โ
Your heart fluttersโthe best word that couldโve come out of his mouth. You smile softly and nod.
if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.
there's something so good about a character who hasn't had enough comfort and warmth in their life and now has weird complicated kinda sexual feelings about being treated with actual basic respect and dignity and they feel like an awful gross pervert for it. i like those wires getting crossed
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ; jason todd
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: jason's night leaves him crawling into your window in the middle of the night
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: jason todd x f!reader
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: 18+. smut. situationship w jason. mentions of violence. slight somno. teasing. buckets praise. cunnilingus. squirting. doggy style. unprotected sex.
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐: 4k+
๐๐๐๐: so this is technically in-universe for this fic, serving as a prequel, but can absolutely be read as a standalone!
It was late by the time Jason crawled through the window leading to your bedroom, picking the lock with ease. He moved in silence, locking the window behind him before letting his feet carefully touch the floor, eyes locked on your sleeping body. Darkness filled the room, the full moon and city lights generously allowing him to see you. A t-shirtโdefinitely his, considering the excess fabric pooling around your bodyโand a tiny pair of shorts that didn't cover much, almost every inch of your bare leg exposed, peeking out from under the comforter. His body reacted instantly.
He had tried, okay? Jason was so wound up after his plan panned out to perfection, the final warehouse under Black Mask's control going up in flames, likely still trying to be put out at that moment. It left his body rushing with adrenaline, engulfing and overflowing with it.
When time had slipped away from him and he'd sent two texts to you that had gone unanswered, he accepted the loss and went back to his own apartment. Everything felt heightened and nothing he did helped ease it, even the forty-five minutes he spent with his punching bag that left his muscles aching but unsatisfied.
Surely it didn't help that he found himself obsessively checking his phone only to find that there was still no response from you, but he couldn't stop thinking about you. Images of you underneath him, writhing, crying out. Pushing and pulling and edging you to release until you were begging him to stop.
The shower he took did fuck all to help him also, his own hand frustratingly not yours, therefore unsuccessful. He could feel it every single time his blood pumped in his veins and he was so hard it hurt, made worse with every failed attempt. He knew there'd be a chance of you being pissed at him tomorrow butโJesus Christ, would there even be a tomorrow if Jason's couldn't get his head on straight? Or would he burn the entire world down first?
That left him there, sneaking into your apartment. He toed off his boots quietly and pulled his hoodie off just as fast before crawling into bed with you, slotting his body behind yours. His hand rested on on your hip, sliding underneath your shirt and along the seam of your shorts, your lower stomach, just beneath your breasts. His lips found the exposed skin between your neck and shoulder that your shirt didn't conceal, tongue joining in on the gentle assault. He moved his hand higher, covering your breast with his hand and massaging ever-so-gently.
You stirred and he waited for you to wake up, his movements staying consistent. When you didn't fully wake up, he could feel you leaning into his touch, and he grinned at the response. He abandoned his urge to play with your nipple, hardened beneath his palm, and ventured south. He rubbed your thigh, soft but firmly kneading the fleshy skin. He needed you to wake up. He let his teeth sink into your neck, his wish met when you arched further into him.
"Jason?" you breathed out, face and voice clouded with hazy sleepiness as you looked over your shoulder, blinking away the sting of the light from the window.
"Yeah, sweetheart, it's me," he confirmed, pressing his lips to your cheek, lingering. With your consciousness, he allowed himself the satisfaction of finally pressing his lips against your ass. He exhaled shakily, the pressure of your body through on thin barriers already gifting him with the briefest relief. "'m sorry."
He was apologizing for what was gonna happen nextโfor waking you up in the middle of the night to desperately claw at your body like some fucking animalโbut he didn't elaborate and you were too groggy to process it. "Sorry I fell asleep," you mumbled, eyes fluttering at the feeling of him grinding against you, positioned mindfully, slowly and with restraint. "How late is it?"
"Not that late." He wasn't lyingโit certainly could've been later. "Just really need you right now, so fucking bad. I can make it fast."
Warmth spread across your body at the low, slurred sound of his speech. Drunken without a drop of alcohol. His hand had taken on the task of kneading your ass and he was so warm behind you, encasing your body in a way that was so comforting it made your brain fuzzy. "So this is a booty call?"
There was no need to see the smirk on his face when he responded. "That depends, you gonna let me touch you?"
You had finished a long shiftโtwelve hours, to be exactly, and every last one of them spent on your feetโand your body had given out as soon as your head hit the pillow. But waking up to Jason touching you, his word dripping with unadulterated lust, sleep no longer felt like the priority. Your brain was defenseless against your body, betraying you by responding to his touch without a second thought. "That dependsโ" you mimicked him, tilting your head as far as you could to see him as well as your position allowed. "โyou gonna make it worth it?"
That was what he liked so much about you, he thought. He loved how you'd never taken his bullshit, throwing it back to him with equal force. Your stubbornness irritated him to no endโespecially at times like then, when you're being defiant about doing what he knew you both wantedโbut he ate it up every single time like it was his last meal. Even after you found out about Red Hood, it never wavered. You were a normal person with a normal life and yet there you were, still letting him into your bed after his vastly different version of a normal day.
He chuckled, eyes darkening. "Well, let's see here," he began, inching his fingers closer and closer until they disappeared beneath the soft fabric of your shorts. As soon as he felt how wet you wereโdripping down your thighs alreadyโit took every shred of his self-control to not lose it right then and there. To not push you into the bed and fuck you so hard until you were both familiar with every single constellation. "You're already this wet and I've barely touched you. Seems promising, if you ask me."
"Good thing I didn't." While the need for sleep had left, it didn't take the fog with it. The feeling of his fingertip slipping inside of you just barely before dragging it across your clitโit drove you crazy. You'd never hear the end of it if you gave into him so easily but it became increasingly difficult. His lips never touching you, only letting you feel his soft breathing dancing along your ear. His malicious fingers teasing and teasing and teasing. "I can't stand you," you whined, breathless when every attempt you made to push your hips back resulted in nothing. "Thought you were gonna make it fast."
"That all depends on you, baby. You gonna be good for me?"
Pure annoyance surged through your body. Not only was he the one that woke you up for this, acting like it's a life or death situation, but now he was laying out demands? "Not calling he cops for you breaking into my apartment isn't good enough for you?" you replied, snappy.
It didn't deter Jason, amusing him more than anything. As if you'd ever call the cops before you called him first. "I just want you to let me make you feel good," he purred, lazily drawing circles on your clit with a featherlight touch. It was a weaponized action, designed to sway you in his favor, but a gun to the head couldn't have forced you to care in that moment. You reeled in what little he did give you, eyelids heavy at the feeling mixed with his lips moving on your neck. "I'm just asking for this one time, don't talk back like you always doโjust like that, or I will stop." At the sound of his threatโpaired with his fingers stilling on your clitโyou swallowed your protest, biting your tongue to try and not interrupt. You fully believed Jason's pride would win over his need for you any day and you didn't want to push it. "See, baby? It's that easy."
"Can I have a free pass for one more?"
"Don't waste it."
"I hate you."
It was meaningless and untrue and he'd never heard those three would sound so pretty, wrapped in a pretty bow of defeat. You didn't have time to grieve the loss of his fingers on your clit, two fingers sliding inside of you, so slick that you practically swallowed them. If there was a specific point you officially lost, it was in that moment (as if you had a fighting chance anyway). He wasn't rushing or teasing, moving at a steady pace and angling his fingers in a way that left you breathless.
Teeth dug into your bottom lip and one hand grasped the edge of the pillow you laid on, nothing more than muffled moans stuck in the back of your throat. He seemed hellbent on getting what he wantedโshockerโand you didn't want to risk anything that would make him stop. He must've noticed your white-knuckled grip, sliding his free arm beneath your head your head to loosely lace his fingers with yours. You returned it with a death grip. "Jay," you breathed, pled, encouraged.
"What's wrong, baby?" He could tell you were having trouble complying, your body language displaying your struggles like a marquee sign. It was endearing, really, just how hard you were willing to try for him but he didn't want you to have to try so hard. He wanted you so gone that it was second nature for you. Effortless.
"I need-" Inhaling sharply, you cut yourself off at the sensation of a third finger, stretching you open and reaching depths your own fingers couldn't fathom. Your head fell back, giving Jason a better angle to see you; eyes closed, soft, pretty lips parted, your neck so visible and just beggingโ "Can I have more?"
"That's a good girl." It was more of an outside thought than a direct compliment, too preoccupied with the soft, winded sound of your voice.
You didn't expect your body to react the way it did to those four little wordsโleast of all to Jason, who would happily hold this over your headโbut it betrayed your pride. The whine that left your throat wasn't yours, neither was the stuttered breathing or the way your walls tightened around him, the sound of his fingers fucking you somehow even louder. No, they weren't; they were his. Every reaction he pulled from you like he crafted it himself, designed to respond to only his touch.
"Fuck, I don't know if you've ever been this wet before," he muttered, burying his face in your hair. Everything smelt like youโyour shampoo, your body wash, the laundry detergent you usedโand it's why he always gravitated to your apartment, despite how much he loved seeing you tangled up in his sheets.
He said something else under his breath but it was lost on you, white spots filling your vision. But before you could warn him of your orgasm, his fingers were gone and his body as well, emptiness taunting you from the inside and out. You exhaled deeply, biting back your thoughts as he maneuvered you onto your back and settled between your legs. He hovered over you, supporting his weight on a bent arm besides your head while his other moved to your face.
His thumb traced your jaw, feeling the tension release as he did so before reaching your lips, parting beneath his touch. "I take it this is my yes?" he murmured, his lips so, so close to yours.
You wanted to bargainโonly a yes if he stopped torturing youโbut his eyes were sparkling in anticipation and there was a wave of stark white hair that had fallen into his eyes and he was just so prettyโ "Yeah, I'll be good," you answered, blood pumping loudly in your ears.
He grinnedโdevilishly, triumphantly, proudlyโand you thought he was going to kiss you but instead his fingers, the ones that were inside you just moments ago, rested against your lips. You parted them instantly, welcoming them into your mouth. Tasting yourself on his fingers, so wet that you wouldn't have believed you didn't cum if you hadn't witnessed it first-hand being ripped away from you, you gave him exactly what he wanted. Licking and sucking his fingers until they were clean, moaning softly around his skin. His lips replaced his fingers as soon as you were done, tongue pushing passed your lips and finding your own, groaning at the taste of you.
He wanted to be quick about itโhonest to god he didโbut he didn't expect you to be like this. He knew your half-asleep state was on his side of the battle, leaving you much more vulnerable than you'd be in peak state, and he knew that it'd make you less resistant to critical thinking and how you most definitely should've been sleeping. But this? This was a whole different level of receptivity; a level that the worst parts of him ached to take advantage of, just in case it was the only time.
Though, deep down, he knew if he could get you like this one time, he'd be able to do it again.
"Sorry about before," he apologized half-heartedly, pulling away and pressing his lips to yours, chastely, before making his way down your neck. "Had to see for myself that you were telling the truth."
He was toying with you and the logical side of you floated above your body, screaming no shit and that of course he's playing games with youโbut, unfortunately, they were speaking in a language you couldn't comprehend. Jason, on the other hand, was clear as day. "S'okay," you breathed in a sigh as he ventured lower until he was pushing your shirt above your chest and his mouth reached your breasts. He glanced up at you, beaming, before sucking your nipple into his mouth, teeth gently nipping and tongue massaging after each time.
You moved your hands tentatively, unsure of what exactly the terms were or if you'd be punished somehow for touching himโand you surely wouldn't survive being ripped away from your orgasm a second timeโbut you tested the waters, fingers slowly getting lost in his silky hair.
When his hand covered your breast, so easily fitting you inside of his large hand, your knees tightened at his sides, grasping at his hair and arching your back for more. Your hips moved without you realizing, steadily grinding against his stomachโlooking for whatever pressure you could findโand he could feel how wet you were. He bit down on your nipple once before popping his mouth off of you, laughing in a breath and pressing his lips to yours. "Fuckin' insatiable," he mumbled against your lips.
He resumed his previous mission soon after, lingering to leave wet, bruising kisses along your sternum. He couldn't wait to see those in the morning. He sat up when he reached the edge of your shorts, hooking his fingers around them and pulling them off swiftly. He settled between your shaking thighs, an arm curling around one while the other hand found your entrance, lazily watching as he spread your wetness easily.
Jason left his thumb on your clit, drawing the lightest possible circles, while his mouth moved along your thigh, sucking and biting and leaving every mark he could before doing the same to the other. You were trying your hardest not squeeze his head between your thighs, the pulsing turning into more of a crashing as your body begged for more. When he finally, finally reached where you wanted him, he flattened his tongue, slowly dragging it up your clit, eyes never wavering from your face.
Besides your arching back and hands tangled in your hair, you fought the urge to move your hips. Trying to remain still, you didn't realize that your efforts had resulted in your feet digging into Jason's backโhard. "It's okay, sweetheart, you've been so good," he mumbled in breaths between slipping his tongue inside of you, absolutely lost in the taste of you. "Take whatever you need, 'm yours to use."
His words directly contradicted the current predicament but neither of you cared, letting your fingers grasp at his hand and nails scraping against his scalp as much as you needed, riding his tongue with a determined pace. It took no time to get yourself there, your moans breaking off and gasps stuttering. Pressure built and built until the walls crashed down, your body shattering beneath them as your orgasm rippled through you. Jason rode through it with you, licking up everything you had until you were whining and trying to free yourself from his tongue.
He sat up, one hand anchoring your hip to the bed while the other slipped inside of you, filling you up with three fingers again. His pace is relentless, his determination turned vicious as you gazed at him. His hair was starting to stick to his forehead, teeth clamping his bottom lip as he focused, fucking you and eliciting wet noises that you swore echoed off of the walls. The voice askingโno, begging kiss me, please, please, please sounded foreign to you but Jason's response was directed right at you, grinning lazily.
"Only if you promise not to run away from me."
"Okayโokay-" Any vow would've been made in that moment, the want to feel his mouth against yours more of a detrimental need. You'd deal with the fiery circles of hell if it meant he would just fucking kiss you.
His lips collided with yours, chin still soaked with your arousal. It was messy and broken with the noises you made from his fingers, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You were submerged, hearing muffled and a fuzziness collecting behind your eyelids. Nothing other than the feeling of his fingers and the taste of his lips and tongue. He gripped the hair piled beneath your head and you unraveled, head digging into the pillows as the entire universe collapsed around you. Stars burning out, planet eruptingโeverything imploded.
"How're we doing, baby?" he asked in a whisper, the hand in your hair more gentle as he slowly massaged your head. He leaned down, pressing his lips against your cheek one, two times before he kissed you sweetly while his other hand ran his thumb along your cheek. The salty taste on his lips surprised you, unaware of the sob that broke through you seconds ago.
"Thank you."
His chest wrenched at the glazed-over look in your eyes, so glassy and unfocused. Two little words spoken so breathlessly and with such adoration that that only amplified how absolutely gone you looked. "No, baby, thank you," he corrected, grinning boyishly. "Did you know you could do that?"
It's then that you realized that during your ascension you had squirted all over his hand. Lucky for you, you weren't in your right headspace to deal with the embarrassmentโnot at that moment, anyway. "First time," you answered simply, blinking.
"Think you can handle a little bit more for me?"
"Thought you were calling the shots."
It was a genuine question but he chuckled anyway, nudging his nose against yours. "If there's any chance you'll passed out while I'm inside of you, I'd rather avoid it," he pointed out, ignoring how much fucking harder he got at the thought of it regardless.
"I can do it." Though said irrevocably, you weren't actually positive of your claim, not after that.
"Yeah? Think you could take being on your hands and knees?" He asked it so softly, so willing to replan if you said no, that you huffed, managing to twist your body so the front of you was pressed against the sheets. You moved your hips back and he chuckled, sitting back on his heels and using his hands to drag your hips upward. "You are..." Jason was at a loss for words. He loved, loved loved loved, your mouth endlessly and he had a special appreciation for your sharp tongue and he's never wish it away. But not only witnessing but being the reason for your complete unraveling threw him into a dimension that he'd never experienced, head swirling with the knowledge of you forgoing every last one of your instincts to be his. "Fucking incredible."
He had to settle, unable to find anything adequate enough to come every close to describing what he felt.
You rested your head on your forearm, looking back at him with cloudy eyes. He seemed distracted, like a predator eyeing a feast of prey and too hungry to decide where to start. "Need to feel you inside me, Jay."
He didn't need to be told twice. He ignored his shirt, only yanking his down his sweatpants far enough before positioning himself behind you, lightly stroking as he aligned with your entrance. He was aching, dripping with precum and so fucking hard he felt like he was going to explode. He had no clue when his goal shifted from releasing his own blinding tension to focusing solely on you. So now, with you pleading for him, who was he to start denying you now?
He pushed his cock inside of you, his grip on your hips giving him the leverage he needed to move slowly, to not fucking lose it. He'd let his guard down with your obedience, which was why he hadn't prepared for you to push your ass back, causing him to bottom out inside of you. "That was-" He groaned, hands gripping your hips as he nearly lost his composure at the way your velvety walls hugged him so snugly. A shuttering moan escaped you, your hands holding onto the pillows, now messily strewn about. "That wasn't you listening to me, was it?"
His hands kept you still as stone, the head of his cock pressing against the spot inside of you that would have your head spinning if he would just move. "You feel so good inside of me. Make me feel so, so good," you rambled, heart racing in worry at the thought of him stopping. "I just wanna make you feel good, that's all."
Jason's chest crumbled, everything else fading away as he abandoned it all and began thrusting into you, controlling the movements of your hips as he pulled them back roughly. He could feel you clenching and pulsing and gushing around his cock, your orgasm approaching rapidly and dragging his own with it. "Tell me I'm the only one that gets to have you like this," he muttered, so distant and softly that you weren't sure he wanted a response until he thrusted into you particularly roughly once, twice, three times. "That nobody else can get you this fucking drunk and needy for their cock."
"Only you, Jason. God, I'm so closeโnobody else-"
He groaned at your broken words, ingrained in his brain as scripture as he pushed your hips down until you were against the sheets once again, his pace never faltering as he angled your hips enough to ensure easy access to the spot that kept your pussy whimpering around him. "Fuck, that's right," he encouraged, twitching inside of you. "All mine. Cum around my cock, baby, yes, just like that."
It took two words for you to fall apart around him, delirious and floating on cloud nine as he dropped to your body, holding himself up just enough to not crush your as his teeth sank into your shoulder, that whimpery gasp muffled by your skin as he filled you up. It seemed never-ending and you milked him for every fucking drop, despite the wet spots forming on the sheets from the tears that had apparently resurfaced.
Once he stilled inside of you, he released a shaky exhale, dragging his lips along your shoulder slowly and sweetly, his thumb rubbing comforting circles onto your skin. He slipped out of your after a few moments, a shiver running through your body at the loss of warmth. He grabbed at your thigh gently and you took the hint, rolling over. Things were starting to lift and your cheeks burned under his gaze, pulling your shirt down to try and maintain a shred of dignity.
He hovered over you again, one hand moving downward until he slowly pushed two fingers inside of you. You gasped brokenly, not needing to see the way the intrusion pushed his cum further inside of you while simultaneously forcing it to spill out around his fingers. His knuckles met your clit for a milliseconds before his fingers were gone again, pushing between your lips. Despite your clarity, the obedience must've lingered. You lifted your head to take his fingers as far as you could, cleaning up every drop of cum. "You're fucking divine."
You chuckled softly, shyly. "Stay with me tonight?"
He kissed you, capturing your bottom lip between his affectionately. "You couldn't drag me out of here if you tried," he responded quietly, repositioning so his head laid on your chest and his arm wrapped around your middle, hand nestled between the bed and your back. His legs intertwined with yours and there was physically no way for him to be closer, despite his body still searching for it. Soft lips pressed against his head, your fingers stroking his hair for only a few minutes of silence before stopping completely, resting against his head instead.
He lifted his head carefully from the steady rise and fall of your chest to find you sleeping. Breathing out a laugh, he blindly grabbed for the comforter to throw over both of you before settling his head back on your chest, your heartbeat lulling him closer to slumber. It was probably for the better, anyway. His chest felt too tight to speak, let alone think, rationally.
hi friends how are we doing !! sorry to pop in and out but i'm trying to actually tackle the other fic that i've been trying to work out for an embarrassingly long time (almost as long as the darkest dark fic oops) so that's been holding my time hostage when i get down time BUT if i can get this other mini fic edited and formatted it should be up sometime today :-)
hi friends how are we doing !! sorry to pop in and out but i'm trying to actually tackle the other fic that i've been trying to work out for an embarrassingly long time (almost as long as the darkest dark fic oops) so that's been holding my time hostage when i get down time BUT if i can get this other mini fic edited and formatted it should be up sometime today :-)
No, no, no you got it all wrong. Jason Todd gives good advice. Great advice even. Itโs just that the way he says it, in that gruff, low tone, makes it seem like he couldnโt care less, when in reality he is anything but uninterested. I mean, that man has expertise on anything. Literally anything. You canโt die once and not now what youโre talking about, am I right?
And when he doesnโt - well a little late night research never killed anybody (and he wouldnโt mind going to the grave for a second time, now that itโs for you).
Heโs so pathetically in love already, a little typing and memorizing is nothing compared to the stuff heโd be willing to do for you unprompted.
Whether itโs advice on that job offer you took or how to cook that dish he made you that you adored - thereโs nothing he wouldnโt help you with. Itโs his way of showing love, of earning his place by your side, as he likes to think. It sounds silly really. Telling you how to do something isnโt groundbreaking. Yet every time you ask him for help, no matter how mundane, he canโt help but feel a surge of pride swell in his chest. The thought that you, the person he adores more than anything in the world, want him to help, that you trust his expertise even if he doesnโt have it - that you just want to talk to him!!! It makes his heart beat out of his chest, his brain short-circuiting, every single time. without fail
He often plays it off with a scoff and a โgod, youโre clueless sometimesโ and yet?
You could be asking him how to fix your broken sink and heโd look at you like you hung the moon in the sky solely for his eyes to witness.
he loves you in the only way he knows how to - by making himself useful โ.๐ ฬ แฅซแญก
liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell
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