#whywersingle

[whywersingle]

Being drunk is like being my most attractive self and my most unattractive self all at once.

-S

[whywersingle]

The Zebrelephant Hypothesis

Hokay, so... you know how sometimes, you do things... and then afterwards you think, "man, I wish that I hadn't said that" or "damn, that person definitely thinks we are lesbians" or "wow, I probably shouldn't have 'little rascal' waved at my crush from across the fire"? Well, don't worry, Sam and I fill our days with enough nonsense that most people, after meeting us, are impressed with whatever you have to put forward; "Well, it cant be as bad as those two obnoxious girls who were cry-laughing while trying to order food". So, really, you owe us a thank you. We are doing a civil service. They should give us a medal or something.

Before I start, I should outline that Sam and I have worked very hard to accept the ridiculousness that comes from being in public together. At first, we danced on the line of figuring out each others sense of humor. Questions like: should I say that joke? It will probably offend her. Should I take this conversation in that direction? Do I jump in with both feet? - The answer is yes, it is always yes.. even if she says no. 

Today was an integral day in our relationship. For most people, this comes in the form of " I love you" or a proposition to move in together. For us, however, it was a day in which we realized that we are no longer two separate weirdo's making our way through this harsh world as individuals, but as two parts of a whole; one brain, one body. How is this possible you ask? Well let me fill you in on the deets.

You may have noticed that Sam and I end our entry's with a subtle "ok byeeee" and I wish you could hear what it sounds like in real life. This began as a joke, mocking some tv show that we had watched and entertaining ourselves with the idea of a catch phrase in the oh-so-casual words of a farewell. But then!, without a trace of warning, it began to become a thing! A THING, I say! We added it on to text messages, phone calls, and even as we were bidding each other a good eve'. It became second nature. I am sure some of you have bared witness to couples who begin to emulate their partner's mannerisms... well, why would we be an exception to this rule?

Today marked my first day back at school as a teacher, so, how do we celebrate this? We try our very best to spend all of my money. We stop at HomeSense, because, where else would baller's like us shop but there? As we were paying, Sam and I were lost in our usual conversation that undoubtedly includes some sort of vulgar language, weird sporadic movement, and its guaranteed that one of us will say something that will make the other tear up in laughter (other forms of laughter include: the ugly laughs, hyperventilating, laughing so hard no sound comes out, and of course... snorting). So, we pay, and are on our way out with the bags and the lady says "have a good day"... and I wish she wouldn't have said that. It's like she gave us no choice! What were we supposed to do but respond in the only way we know how!? " OKIEEE BYEEEE" at the same time, in the same tone, and the same duration in length. I've never regretted this relationship... but for a split second I thought to myself "what is my life about?".  

And then, without warning, the Zebrelephant appeared as if to tell us it was all going to be okay.

He is a liar.

Later, Sam and I were out for supper (who makes supper when your goal is to spend money, come on people.. keep up) and I'm not really sure there was much room for normal conversation in between our laughing fits. You can dress us up but you sure as hell can't take us out. We support each other by being equally as klutzy, and when discussing some disgusting, completely off-putting topics, we show our support by not letting the other person be the one who 'crosses the line'. Don't worry, boo, nothing you can say can be worse than what I have saved up in this bank.

The moral of this story is that the Zebrellephant brought a light to this thing we call friendship. It told me to not let labels separate us. Single. Straight. Pretty. You don't need those things. You do you. 

That's a scary thought. All I know is that Sam and I are a single step away from morphing together just as the Zebrellephant did. Will it be for camouflage?  Probably not. Us together rarely means 'normal'. This is the scary part. We are complete weirdos... and we are totally okay with it (if you cant tell by the blog dedicated to making fun of our lives). If nothing else, at least its entertaining for you.

That's all I got for you. Until next time.

Ok Byeeeee

-C