A decade and a half.
15 years ago, on July 14, 2004 I became an Idina fan. It’s incredible to even think it’s been that long. It feels like it was long and short at the same time. i can’t say it’s been easy. There have been a lot of highs and lows.
I have been a fan of Idina for a long time, but I’m not her “#1 fan,” whatever that means. I don’t go to every show, concert, and event. I haven’t seen her Broadway shows and concerts multiple times, just once or twice. But I can say that I’m a devoted fan. And that has nothing to do with money or constantly posting about her on social media. The genuine fans keep it in rather than publicizing it every minute. And no, I am NOT a “Fanzel.” I crashed a few times because it became too much; i.e. after some of the craziness like the I Stand album, Christmas album, and idina. album releases. I always second-guessed (and still do) the way I felt about her and I shouldn’t have to. Just because I don’t like or support everything she does, doesn’t mean I don’t care about her as a person because I have and always will ever since the day I saw her in Wicked.
But there have been some GREAT moments that I’ll never forget. I’ve always cherished every time I’ve gotten the opportunity to see Idina live whether it was in Wicked, sitting front row at my first concert during the I Stand tour, the INCREDIBLE times I’ve had at World Tour 2015 and 2017, Tribeca Film Festival Talk, the first time I saw If/Then when I lost my shit after Idina said “hey, it’s me,” the second time I saw If/Then when I sobbed during “You Learn to Live Without” and met Idina at the stagedoor (STILL A BLUR BUT I WAS ON CLOUD 9), and seeing Skintight and meeting Idina again (also partially a blur).Â
Then there were other times I saw her not live, but through the TV screen; HONORABLE MENTION TO BOTH WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE APPEARANCES, talk shows. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Oscars, Tonys, Billboard Awards, Glee, Beaches, Private Practice, the list goes on. Whenever I see Idina on TV I am always in complete shock even when I know it’s coming. And for some reason, it still feels new again.
My emotions about Idina have been a rollercoaster ever since a few years ago, and I was even talking to another fan the other day about I meeting her at Skintight and still being upset that I don’t have a picture with her. She said that my moment with her was even more important than the fans who did get a picture because we were both in the moment and connected. I still remember when she she said hi to me and my stomach felt like it was being pushed out of my body, even if that was the only word she said to me. And that I am grateful for. I constantly think about having closure and waiting for the “right” time where I can tell her everything I have been feeling these past 15 years but maybe just a “hi” was enough.














