#wild weekends

[the-football-chick]

[magical-illune]

An open video letter broadcast to the Alphas, by Comrade Glasspuppet, speaking for the Communist Party of Jamaa:

Alphas, Alphas, oh Alphas, did you really think we wouldn't catch this? Did you seriously think you could empty a whole shop, right before the Bounce House Party was due to start, and assume nobody would notice? You're absolute FOOLS if you think that way!

When I arrived at the bounce house -- for purely investigative purposes, of course -- I noticed that a large crowd had already gathered around this empty shop, bemoaning the loss of the jelly items that were promised for this "wild weekend." Such empty, superficial platitudes in the form of events like this mean nothing to me (and even if they did, as a NM, I would be unable to buy the items in question anyway), but unlike YOU, I can't just ignore the pleas of my countrymen, now can I?

But this is not a simple case of supply chain failure (though that does happen often under your failure of a regime); behind this seemingly small error lurks a much larger conspiracy!

As I stated earlier, the items set to be sold were associated with jelly. Now, what was jelly a slang term for back in the mid 2010s? JEALOUS. You don't want to expose your loyal sheep (no offense to actual sheep, I'm not speciesist at all!) to anything relating to negative emotions. You want to keep everyone sedated with a cloud of toxic positivity!

Well, tough luck! We're at war, dumbasses! There's always gonna be negativity when the nation's being invaded! The Phantom forces are in the midst of their yearly battle for Hidden Hollow's beacon, and yet you're more preoccupied with randomly taking all the goods out of party shops!

And it's not just that. I took a closer look at the code at the bottom, down where my gem balance should be, and what did I see?

A hashtag, followed by the number 6228. Sure, I know you'll say something like "that's a meaningless error code" to placate the masses, but I've seen past your little code!

On a keyboard, the hashtag/pound sign is located on the same key as the number 3; it can be accessed by holding down SHIFT. I looked up 36228 and found that it was a code for "the procedure of placing a catheter into an intracranial artery". A catheter is a tube that's used to pump stuff in or out of the bloodstream.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

I've caught you, Alphas! You may have disappeared the contents (and vendor) of the shop, but you left a vital code behind, explaining your secret plan to pump hallucinogenic jelly into the arteries of wavering citizens, SHIFTing their mood from one of stress and jealousy to peaceful, mind-numbing acceptance of everything you say! I've got you this time!

Oh, I'm sure you're coming up with a plot to discredit me right this second. You're probably thinking of ways to smear my name; now you're gonna say I just drank too much at the party, but I'll have you know that I drank a perfectly healthy amount, and you sponsored the party, anyway, which means it was your fault I had access to drinks in the first place --

And I'm still just fine! You're gonna splice up the footage, make it look like I can't even stand up, but I'm just wobbling 'cause I'm still dizzy from all the bouncing! I can't find my sea legs -- my land legs, I mean -- wait, I don't have legs -- land flippers? Well, anyway, the bouncing was dizzying, but I'm fine, I can still stand, I can still walk -- flop? -- whatever --

Don't look at me like that, Brightscout! I'm not just gonna pass out on cam--

The broadcast was cut off seconds later.

[greycanbeveryattractive]

I've reached peak loneliness, I'm dressed in joggers and an oversized hoodie, it's raining outside and I'm watching Maid in Manhattan.

[baconicecreamsundae]

Directed by Geoffrey O'Connor. With Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux visits Southern California, home to a group of people known as swingers.

A strange episode, Louis Theroux embarks on a wild weekend with swingers. An eye-opening episode if you are interested in polyamorous relationships and crazy orgies! Worth a watch, one of my favourite documentary personalities (besides John Safran of course! <3) Can’t wait to indulge in another episode! 4/5

[bbeellllss]

Louis Theroux, I bloody love you. 

[phouse1964]

You're following Harry Styles on Twitter. How do you think he would hold up in a survival situation? At the moment we're filming eight of our Wild Weekends for NBC and Channel 4 where we take celebs away. We haven't announced anyone yet, but Harry would be fun…he'd do well. I think he's got an ability to last, he's strong and fit and he's enthusiastic. They're the key ingredients in survival, so I think he'd do pretty well. He's pretty smart. We're not saying anything about him being on the show, but he'd be cool.

If this ever happens, I might explode

[zakumo-blog]

im gonna play spider solitaire until i get so sleepy i collapse on my desk just like last night

[random-hiccup]

Weekend Nights

I like to go to bed earlier on weekends so I can read more in bed. That's how wild I can get.