Rhea Amidala meets Obi-Wan Kenobi when he and his master come to her younger sisters aid and he discovers the queen's sister was once a Jedi, expelled from the order for her unwillingness to forgo love and attachment. The two stranded together on Tatooine find common ground despite their differences, and above all a hope within the other for something greater than themselves.
He hopes for her to rejoin the order, while she hopes for him to leave, and both are left reeling from their illicit affair, until ten years later he is once again called to her sister's service and they are catapulted into each other's lives by a war that will set them on the same path of secrecy and tragedy.
Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.
Warnings: TW for torture, severe ptsd, mention of past miscarriage, brief discussion of abortion. No fluff, only angst. Boba time. Missiles. Head injuries, burns, near death
Word Count: 7.4k
A/N: it gets worse before it gets better but I made a new moodboard
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Time itself comes to a standstill as we look upon one another but despite the years, despite going to Tatooine to hunt him down... nothing could have prepared me for this.
"You know why I have come," he tells me, his voice the only thing about him I recognise.
"You should be dead," I say, hand wrapped around the hilt of my saber.
"I should be after you left me for dead," he replies and I feel it, the anger, the betrayal that he should have seen coming. "But you never could do it could you?"
"Neither could you," I remind him, and despite every piece of reason in my head screaming otherwise, I feel safe in that security that he could never bring himself to ever truly hurt me, he just stood by as others did. "You don't scare me Boba."
Something in him almost softens, but only for a moment. "It is not fear I want to provoke, not anymore."
His words catch me off guard and leave me almost confused by the change of heart I feel in him, but I ignore it for the sake of self preservation.
"You look older," he says, as if we were meeting under normal circumstances.
"You look like shit," I tell him, trying to bite back the true horror at what I did to him.
"Getting struck down and devoured by a sarlaac does that," he says and gets to business as if we're negotiating in a messy divorce but there is little else that could be used to describe Boba and I. "I want my armour back."
"I want lots of things back, things you took from me," I tell him, Din emerging from cover with his blaster drawn since negotiations have been established. "But life isn't fair, is it?"
I eye the carved wooden weapons he has at his back, weapons I recognise as belonging to the sand people of Tatooine but it is surprisingly not violence he negotiates with.
"I have brought you a peace offering."
"A peace offering?" I repeat and actually laugh, feeling Din's alarm at the sound. "The only peace offering I would accept is Vader's head and unfortunately that is ashes on Endor."
Looking at him now I wonder what he knows if he's lived in isolation on Tatooine because he looks surprised by my revelation. "So you killed the bastard then?"
Now I'm the one in surprise as I scoff "Don't act like you wanted him dead."
"Of course I wanted him dead," he says and takes a step closer, a step that makes Din raise his blaster. "I'm not after you Mandalorian."
"You left me for dead," Din says and I see a look of satisfaction in Boba's eyes that stirs a new type of rage in me.
"Fair is fair," Boba says, ignoring him to speak to me. "I'd call it justice."
"Revenge you mean?"
"One and the same," he says, determined to hit every nerve he knows how. "That's what you said, isn't it princess?"
If this is how he wants to play, I'll play along perfectly.
"Yes." I take a step closer now, looking him dead in the eyes as I tell him. "It was both when I left you for dead."
"I could take revenge," he tells me, but fails to intimidate. "I certainly have enough reason to, but fortunately for you I am a changed man."
I laugh again, the type of unhinged only Boba Fett can make me after he put that madness in my brain and twisted it into what it is now. "Boba Fett? A changed man?"
He isn't amused and looks back towards his ship "I thought you may say that, so here is my peace offering. My armour for yours."
My face falls and I blink at him "What?"
He doesn't repeat himself. "You heard me."
I shake my head "My armour is on-"
"Was on Kalevala," he says and I go cold. "I'm the one who brought you there after Mandalore was destroyed remember? You took my armour from Tatooine, so I returned the favour. Still covered in blood and ashes on board my ship for the taking. You order the Mandalorian to get mine, and Fennec will get yours."
"Fennec?" Din exclaims and I look back at him in confusion until I sense an unfamiliar presence.
"You have a keen ear Mando," a woman says from up on the ridge armed with a rifle, a woman that Din certainly seems to know and I look at him, raising an eyebrow at the panic I feel from him.
"You were dead," he says and my eye goes back to Boba, able to read him in one glance and I should have known he'd never come to face me without an extra gun.
"I believe it is time for introductions," Boba says while I shake my head at him in warning. "Meet Fennec Shand, a sharpshooter I've brought to ensure this transaction goes smoothly."
"Fuck you," I say and order "Din if she moves kill her."
"So it's going to be that way then," Boba says, almost disappointed. "Alright then, your lover pulls that trigger and she'll unload onto that kid she's locked onto."
And there he is, the Boba Fett I know.
"You wouldn't dare," I breathe.
"I think we both know I would," he says but I know the kid is quite safe. "There does not have to be violence."
"Say the word and he's dead," Din says from behind me, both of us knowing the kid is safe behind that shield.
"This is between her and I Mandalorian," Boba says, he knows his targets, he would know damn well the reputation Din has. "You shoot, Fennec shoots." He looks back at me now. "Your little green friend as quite the bounty on his head."
With those words, all decency is off the table.
"If you think you're going to come here to take my son away-"
"He's a little green to be yours," he says and a chill runs through my bones as he dares to say "But a son for a son seems fair to me."
Din reaches for me as I march forward but holds his position with his blaster trained on Fennec as I slap Boba hard, tears of rage burning in my eyes as I whisper "I hate you."
"I know you do princess," he says, his face may be barely recognisable but his eyes... the same damn eyes. "I'm not here to hurt you."
But I know him better than that.
"I don't believe you," I breathe and the moment my saber is at his neck his finger is on the trigger of his blaster. My match. My perfect adversary. "I will never believe a word you say again."
Still he insists "All I want is my armour."
"Liar," I say, searching his eyes. "You've followed me halfway across the galaxy for one thing only."
He entertains me. "And what's that princess?"
I can't bring myself to say it with Din standing so close but Boba knows. He always knows.
"Revenge," I say, if only to stir something else in his heart that is more bearable for me to feel. "For me."
I'm trembling as he touches my cheek with the barrel of his blaster, but not from fear, anything but fear, and I feel pure horror from Din that I haven't killed him for that simple touch alone.
"I did come for you," he tells me and I don't inch away from him as he leans closer as if nobody else is standing here. "On Tatooine I came for you, but not to harm you."
"Liar," I say again, fighting what I know is the truth. "Why else would you come if not for revenge?"
"I came to help you," he says, the coldness of his blaster on my cheek keeping me still as he asks "Do you really think I'd let you face an Imperial attack alone?"
I feel Din watching with a primal anger I've never felt from him and remind Boba "I wasn't alone and you left him there to die."
"If I didn't kill him he would have killed me," he argues, as if leaving him bleeding out for me to find was only a minor complication. "And I wasn't the one with the shiny beskar."
"No, you aren't," I say, finding a sick pleasure in taking from him the one thing he loves. "Because I have yours and once I put you back in the ground where you belong I'll melt it down and add it to my collection of trophies. Right beside Maul's saber on Kalevala."
He ignores my threat to tell me "You're the only one who wants violence little one."
"I don't believe you."
"Kill me then," he says, calling my bluff. "We both know you can't do it."
A darkness settles over me, the same darkness that led to me being charged as a war criminal. "You have no idea what I am capable of."
"Then do it. Kill me. Do what you couldn't do on Tatooine." The heat of my saber at his neck does little to scare him as he taunts "Or have you started calling yourself a Jedi again?" My hand grips the hilt of my saber tight knowing one flick of my wrist is all it would take. "I remember when your daddy came to kill mine, but he couldn't do it either."
I blink at him in bewilderment "What?"
"I remember shooting at your father myself," he tells me, words he never has before, and I go cold as his own memories flash before my eyes. Cold rain and shots fired upon my father only to end in the flash of a purple saber and a beskar helmet rolling on coarse ground. "He was no match for a Mandalorian."
"Then how come he lived while yours lost his head," I hiss and he grabs me by my hair, holding me by the scalp with his blaster to my head. "Too soon?"
"Let her go!" Din orders, firing a warning shot only for Fennec to fire one back at Din and I smirk at the look of unbridled rage in Boba's eyes, living for the thrill of hitting him where it hurts. "Let her go or I drop you and Fennec!"
"This is between us," I tell Din, smiling as I taunt "I should have aimed for your neck, let your head roll in the sand just like your donors."
With those words he bares my throat, my hair in his fist as he brings his blaster from my head down to my stomach, knowing just where to hit me, but nothing can ever hurt me more than he already has. "You've become a cruel woman."
"Do you think I'm still that nineteen year old girl who cried and begged for you Boba?" I ask him and laugh again at the pain shooting through him, wanting him to suffer as I have. "You killed her that day on Cloud City. There's nothing left you can do to hurt me now."
"I can kill the kid," he threatens. "Like you killed our son."
"Our son?" I repeat numbly and feel Din's own horror as I tell him. "You mean the bloody tissue that was left on the floor of that cell after Vader tortured it out of me?" Boba's eyes go utterly cold now, finally realising it was not my doing. "It's for the better because I was never going to have any child of yours after what you did to me."
"Kyra," he begins, the emotion in his voice making me wince but I'm past apologies.
"It's too late for remorse Boba," I tell him, having no pity left for him and dig the knife deeper. "Everything you blamed me for is your own doing. Every betrayal you believed, none of it was ever real. It was all Vader screwing with your head like he did mine."
Finally after all these years I find myself absolved of my own guilt and see the horror in his eyes as he realises I never betrayed him and that the death of our love is his blood to bear.
His voice is uneven now "If I knew-"
"You would have what? Struck Vader down?" I ask as I push him off me and he doesn't try to push me back. "You were too weak."
"Says the one who's too weak to strike me down now," he says, but the fight is gone from his voice and filled with a quiet ache before he resorts to the one thing he can still hate me for. "Just like your father was."
I raise an eyebrow "You think I'm weak because I'm a Jedi?"
"I know you are."
I give a nod and turn my back on him, walking back towards Din as I raise my hand to choke the sniper up on the ridge and watch her reach for her throat as Boba finally panics.
"Stop that!"
"No," I answer before channelling the strength of the force here and throwing her off the ledge into a nearby rockface. Din and Boba both jump back as she groans on the ground and I use the force to pull her rifle to me, handing it to Din as I return to his side.
"Kyra," Din says quietly as he takes the rifle. "I owe Fennec, she is not our enemy."
"Well he is," I reply and turn back to Boba. "I don't care what you've become, I don't care if you're sorry, not when I have to live with the consequences of what you did."
Boba looks at Fennec, finally realising just what his betrayal led me to become. "I thought you were above that."
"I was, but not after what Vader did to me," I say and I see the look of disbelief in his eye before his hand goes to his throat and that cold rage burns as I hold it tight. "Do you think I'm not capable of the things he was?"
"Then do it," he says, my fist closing around his throat. "If it's revenge you want take it, I won't stop you."
"Only one of us is leaving this planet alive," I tell him, even if every moral my father instilled in me screams against killing a man who is not fighting.
"Then why haven't you killed me yet?" he asks but just as I step forward with my saber in hand I feel it and realise the true enemy that's followed me isn't Boba Fett.
It's the Empire.
Slowly I turn my head back towards Boba, the memory of betrayal haunting me now and my saber hand's shaking as he puts his hands up "I didn't-"
Without warning I throw him to the ground and my saber is at his neck as I curse "You fucking traitor."
He knows there is nothing he could say for me to believe him and instead tells me "It's time to put your armour back on princess, we're in for a fight."
I look up at Din who stands there watching the Imperial ships entering the atmosphere "Kyra the kid-"
"The kid is safe," I promise Din and withdraw my saber and abandon Boba on the ground to go to him. "If it's Gideon we have the advantage you hear me?"
"How?" he asks me. "It's the two of us against the Empire."
I look back at Boba on the ground and Fennec getting to her feet, if they didn't bring them here then they'll have no hesitation killing them. "No, it's not." I take his helmet in my hands as I tell him "We fight, the child is as safe as he can be up on that stone. Get your weapons, we aren't running."
"This is the way," he says and a shadow of a smile plays at my lips.
"This is the way."
I let him go with a press of my lips to his beskar cheek knowing damn well Boba's watching and march to his ship to get my armour. I navigate the familiar interior quickly to get to the storage compartment and much to my equal surprise and satisfaction find my biometric fingerprint still logged and draw a sharp breath as the compartment opens.
My armour as promised sits there, painted blood red and still coated in the ashes of Mandalore.
For just a moment I still feel the rubble crushing me, I can still see the bodies of my people turned to dust after the bombing. I can still feel the ash in my lungs as my hand reached out through the rubble, red with radiation burns. I wanted to die and yet I couldn't help but fight for my life as the darkness closed in on me.
I can still feel Boba taking my hand and pulling me out.
The sound of gunshots pulls me back and I take the painted beskar forged for my body, a lightweight unconventional design perfect for a Jedi. It's all muscle memory as I arm myself with it, the slimline armoured top that wraps around my collarbones leaving my arms bare, the red arm bands in substitute of pauldrons for the sake of mobility, my left bearing the symbol of the Jedi and the right my family's crest. The gauntlets attached to my fingerless red sleeves more lightweight than the typical Mandalorian's, the same with the rest of my armour. Boba brought all of it, not just the beskar but the rest of it I couldn't bear to touch after I'd stripped it from my body and so I make quick work of it, discarding my of Jedi styled clothes in favour of my complete armour since I doubt I'll get another chance to retake it.
Finally I hold the helmet in my hand and for the first time since the purge put it on and ready myself, transferring my saber to my armours utility belt that's still armed with my old blaster and make sure to put the kids ball in one of the pockets.
It feels right as I step out of the ship looking through a visor and raise my blaster to take out the nearby stormtroopers and feel Din's head snaps towards me at the sound of the shots and I can feel it, awe, and then I feel the fear of the stormtroopers as I ignite my saber.
They all come to a halt with their guns raised at me, shaking in their armour as I tilt my head to the side and the moment I raise my hand they're running back to their ship, the landing platform still lowered as they try to retreat and with a single hand, feeling the strength of the force more than I have in years, I bring the ship to a halt as they try to lift off. It's as I tap into the true richness of the force here on Tython I realise indeed the stories are true and I throw the ship into a nearby cliff face with a strength I've never wielded before.
The wreckage hits the ground with injured troopers straining for their weapons and I look back to see Boba and Din both standing there in a state of awe.
"Kill them!" I order and they quickly jump into action, gunning down the troopers on board the wreckage and I move past the bodies to get to the remains of the cockpit, still intact enough for me to make contact with their commander and know in my gut who it is.
"This is Kyra Kryze," I say, ready to take him out. "You're troopers are dead Gideon."
"That may be, but not even you and your bounty hunters can save the child from me," he says and I hear Din yelling for me.
"Kyra!"
I emerge to see three more ships lowering onto the planet and just as I raise my hand I hear rockets, but not from the ship. I look back to see Boba standing there in his own armour now and watch as his rocket hits one of the ships which crashes down into the other, both burning wreckage now in the sky.
I feel Din's hand on my arm, tasting the bitterness in my mouth as I look at Boba and know he didn't bring the Empire here.
"See princess, I did tell you," Boba says and I could kill him for the I told you so alone.
"And like I told you, I'm not weak," I spit at him and then realise that was his intention all along, to rile me up.
"You never were," he says and frustrated I look away from him back to Din who stands behind me with a gentle hand holding me in place, maker knows the only thing giving me peace right now.
"What's the plan general?" Din asks me, Boba and Fennec listening as I look at the final ship landing, but my gut tells me there are far more where it came from and we need to take them out.
"Kill them, no matter how many waves come we eliminate them," I decide, knowing the child is safe up on that rock. "If we don't Gideon will just send them after us again."
"Gideon?" Boba repeats, having missed that part when he was attacking Din. "Moff Gideon? I thought he was dead."
"So did we but you'd know that if you were actually helping me on Tatooine instead of stabbing someone," I retort and feel Din squeeze my arm to bring my back, knowing I need to be focused right now, and ask him "On Navarro what type of strength did he have?"
"Enough that he almost killed all of us," he answers and tells me "We aren't making it out unscathed."
"Retreatings no good if he can take us out with his ship, we're better to hold defensive positions until an opportunity presents itself," I say as Fennec reloads her rifle, remembering the Hoth situation. "We don't know what type of resources he's got and I'm not risking putting the kid in his sights."
"Call for backup?" Din asks knowing the connections I've got but none that can get here in time.
"We are the backup," Boba says and reminds me "We've faced worse than a few stormtroopers princess."
"This isn't right," I say, my gut screaming it at me. "It's too easy, if Gideon knows you're here he'd be sending more firepower than this."
It would be why Gideon waited so long to attack, Boba Fett would be one of the few people in this galaxy he would fear and rightfully so, which makes no sense he's sending mere ships of troopers against two of the most capable killers in the galaxy.
"Then let's take them out," Boba says as the ship lands and the four of us stand there ready to fight as the landing platform lowers and I tilt my head at the black of their armour.
Death troopers.
And there it is.
"Take cover," I order before they open fire and each and every movement of my saber is muscle memory led by the force, my father having been relentless in this particular training after the Clones wiped out most of the Jedi in order 66. He wasn't going to let me fall to a group of troopers with blasters.
Their armour is resistant enough the blasts reflected back don't kill them and hear their commander order "Kill the Jedi!"
And so I use the force to leap over head just as they roll grenades my way and cut through three troopers from behind as Din, Boba and Fennec fire on them from defensive positions but it's then as I look up to the stone my blood runs cold realising this is just a distraction.
Troopers unlike any I've ever seen descend towards the stone and just as I run forward I'm thrown to the ground by a missile that blows the Razor Crest to ashes.
My ears ring as I take in the burning wreckage and feel Din pulling me to my feet, covering me from the Death Troopers fire as he pulls me back behind cover, checking me over to make sure I'm alright before quaking "The kid-"
"I've got him, cover me," I tell him and use my jetpack for the first time in years as I take off dodging the heavy fire from the Death Troopers to get to the stone only to begin losing altitude halfway as the broken down fuel runs out and I hit the ground running, reaching the stone at the same moment they do and I'm met with an onslaught from blaster cannons that I fight through only for the force shield to come down.
"No!" I yell out as I'm thrown into one of the pillars with a force I've never felt before by one of the troopers and get to my feet only to be faced with six of them, big hulking forces of metal standing between me and the child who looks at me with fear in his eyes.
They fire upon me, no doubt with programmed orders from Gideon to eliminate me personally. Reflecting the heavy fire I cut through the chest of the one who threw me and cut down the next through the middle only to be grabbed by the throat with a crushing pressure by another and raised up to see the child being taken and kick my feet against the troopers face, severing the hand holding my throat before cutting through its neck along with anothers before driving my saber through the chest of the fifth.
I rebound off the ground as the final trooper lifts off with the child and I swear I can hear Din calling my name, but just as I go to jump from the stone to take down the final trooper I see it far too late, the burning missile locked right onto me, and in the second before it impacts I raise my saber in a pure final instinct and there's a flash of blue.
Then nothing.
~
Din
The moment the missile enters the atmosphere I've abandoned my defensive position to run to her as if I have a chance in hell of making it there, there's flashes of yellow as she cuts through the troopers and I'm screaming her name into an empty void and she looks up the moment before it impacts. There's a flash of blue as the forceshield ignites only for the missile to blow the stone temple to nothing not even a second later.
The explosion causes me to fall back and I'm on my knees as I look up at the smouldering ruins, the world itself coming to a standstill as I grasp my blaster between my fingers, in one single moment my entire world gone.
So many moments I'd accepted my own death and I was never afraid, but that was until her and the child came along and suddenly I had everything to lose.
And now I've lost just that, my child, my riduur, my everything.
That is until I feel Boba Fett pulling me to my feet telling me "She's hard to kill, get up there and I'll follow the bastards."
"Come on," Fennec says pulling me along as if there would even be anything left of her after what that same missile did to the Razor Crest. "He'll follow the trooper, she's a Jedi isn't she?" Numbly I nod as she forces me to walk. "Then there's a chance."
"The kid-"
"He's following the kid," she repeats as we make our way up the mountain. "You can't save him but there's still a chance for her."
I'm sick to my stomach at the thought of what I'll find, her body blown to pieces or nothing at all, but as my weak knees take me up the hill they all but give out at the sight of her red figure face down in the ruins and I run forward, dropping to my knees as I take her in my arms.
"Kyra?" I quake as I hold her limp body, armour blackened from the impact and skin scorched but it's as I pull her helmet off and find blood running from her ears and nose I can't breathe. "Cyar'ika?"
Despite the heat radiating from the burns her body's cold, my thermal imaging unable to get a clear reading with the injuries and I'm cradling her head in my hand as I check her vital signs, finding a pulse, drawing a shaking breath as I feel it beneath my fingers. She should be ashes, but I've seen the child perform even greater miracles than this.
"Boba's on their tail," Fennec tells me. "He's locked onto the trooper."
"No!" I panic, stammering. "I don't want the child hurt!"
They're both alive, but they won't be for long.
"Abort pursuit, disengage!" Fennec orders. "Do not harm the child."
"Copy, I'll do a loose follow, see where they're headed." There's a pause before he asks "Is she alive?"
"Mando," Fennec says, unable to quite look at us as she asks "Is she alive?" I give a single weak nod and she confirms "She's alive but barely. Burns covering her body from the blast and severe head trauma, unconscious."
I'd never been truly afraid until right now as I hold her limp body in my arms, appearing dead in every way except for the slight pulse beneath my fingers and the slow rise and fall of her chest beneath the beskar but it's not strong enough.
The child is gone, I can't lose her with him.
"I can't do this alone," I tell her in Mando'a. I'd promised that I'd never let the Empire hurt her again and I broke that promise. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I failed you. I failed both of you."
Her red hair is between my fingers, warmth seeping from her skull as I clutch her body to mine, trying to convince myself she's still alive, that she still has a chance.
"They're back," I hear Fett say over the com as I listen for her breath but can barely find it.
"Who?" Fennec asks as she comes over, kneeling down to take a look at her.
"The Empire," he answers, telling her what I already know. "They're back."
"That can't be, the Empire is under the jurisdiction of the New Republic."
"This isn't a spice dream, I can see the Imperial cruiser with my own eyes."
The issue of a few rogue warlords is entirely different to an armed and operational Imperial Cruiser. For a moment I hope that revelation would be enough to wake her up, but she's still out cold in my arms.
"Fennec she needs help," I say quickly, unable to keep my voice from breaking.
"Boba doesn't have any plans on letting her die," Fennec says and I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse as she speaks into the com. "Get back down here, she needs medical treatment."
"I'm coming down."
"Come on," Fennec says and I lift her up, taking care to keep her head still and Fennec takes her helmet as we descend back down the mountain with only one way off this planet.
Despite the desperation I've heard enough to not trust him, knowing he turned her over to the Empire once before and I'll die before letting it happen again and when we approach his ship and he takes a step towards her I draw my blaster on him from beneath her legs "Touch her and you're dead."
"She isn't dead yet but she will be and if you kill me and try to steal my ship you won't get very far without my biometrics," he says, having anticipated this. "Do you want her to die?"
"She'd rather die before being given to the Empire," I say, knowing she'd never forgive me if I let Gideon get his hands on her. "And I'll die before letting them harm her."
"I didn't dig her out of the damn rubble on Mandalore to watch her die now," he mutters and my blaster hand shakes as he marches forward and puts a hand on her head, I only allow it when I see how his shakes as much as mine. "She needs a bacta tank."
"It's the outer rims," Fennec says. "Where-"
"I know a place," Fett says and speaks to me. "Something tells me neither of us are getting past the outer rims without being arrested by the New Republic. I can take her somewhere she'll be safe."
"Where?"
"Cloud city," he says, the name only vague to me. "Run by one of her rebel friends, Calrissian."
I look down at her knowing we don't have any time for questions but I still can't trust Boba Fett "You try anything-"
"Oh trust me she'll beat you to killing me when she wakes up when she realises where I've taken her," he assures me. "But neither of us are letting her die."
"Mando, if you want her to live you have to trust us," Fennec says and with no choice I head on board the ship, hardly even registering as Boba Fett enters with the beskar spear, all that's left of the Razor Crest.
The landing dock closes and they head into the cockpit without another word, leaving me there in the hold alone with her and it's then the chill truly settles into my bones.
Only an hour ago we were in the cockpit of the Razorcrest, watching her holding Grogu as she told us the words we'd never heard before her, that she loves us. Words I'd never heard until she came into my life and made me realise I was something that could be loved. The light of my life, the only thing that truly mattered, her and the child, I had my entire future in the palm of my hand and now it's all gone.
I feel the tears in my eyes as I cradle her head and feel the dry blood in her hair, remembering in horror that she has a family outside of the child and I, that I'll have to tell them how she died while I stood helpless.
"Come on cyar'ika," I plead with her, without her and the child there is nothing left to live for. I don't know how I ever lived without their love, a love that made me feel human for the first time since I was a child, a love I can never live without again. "Wake up, please."
But her body only grows colder, her skin blackened from the blast of the missile, wounds that a bacta tank can heal but I remember too well the head trauma that would have killed me if not for IG-11. My hand rests over her pulse, feeling it only growing weaker, her breathing slowing.
"Stay with me," I whisper, shaking as I hold her body and realise her chest is hardly rising. "Kyra?" The colour is gone from her cheeks, her skin turning a shade of grey and I'm yelling out "How long do we have left!"
Boba Fett comes down, helmetless now and looks upon her with an unreadable face "Less than an hour."
"We don't have that long," I insist. "Is there bacta-"
"The Hutts raided it for medicine and credits while I was in the Sarlacc," he answers and gives what could almost be called an attempt at assurance. "I've seen her in worse shape than this, she's tough, too stubborn to die like this that's for certain."
"Well she is dying!" I snap, slowly losing it with every missed beat of her pulse. "Isn't there anywhere closer?"
"If the Empires back then Cloud City is the only place I know for certain won't be doing business with them," he says and I look down at her. "Calrissian is a good enough man he wouldn't turn her away."
"Can you get a transmission to Leia?" I ask him knowing that she'd want her family to be there if she doesn't make it and he seems surprised by my request.
He scoffs "She's told you about that lot?"
"They're her family," I say and he just shakes his head. "They deserve to be there if she doesn't make it." It's then I remember where I'd heard of Cloud City from, Solo's transmission after we were attacked on Tatooine. "Can you contact Solo on the Millenium Falcon, he should be at Cloud City."
He looks at me more carefully now "You've met Solo and all the rest?"
"I know her family and she'd want them there," I say, unable to understand the questions and having no patience for them. "Can you contact them or not?"
He's silent for a moment in contemplation before saying "It's best I don't or they'll try to shoot me down."
I stare at him now incredulously at how he can be thinking about himself right now "Not if they know she's on board."
"Let's just say Solo and I have some history and they won't believe she let me live long enough to be in this situation," he says and despite my desperation I can't blame them if they know what I do. "We'll be there soon, I don't know what she's told you-"
"She'd told me enough," I say sharply, not caring for conversation right now.
He nods to himself before saying "We both love her Mandalorian, she isn't dying on my watch." He steps forward and I pull her closer to me, not wanting a man who hurt her and is comfortable enough laying hands on her how I just saw to touch her. "She's survived worse than this, if you've spent even a night with her you'd know that."
The mention of her nightmares has me shaking at the thoughts of just what she's endured and the revelation I learned on that damned planet, that she was pregnant with this man's child and lost it in torture due to his betrayal.
"If you loved her you wouldn't have betrayed her," I say knowing the man he is, that we aren't so dissimilar. Knowing the lives men like him and I lead and just what she is in comparison to all that bloodshed. "If you loved her you would have died before letting the Empire lay one hand on her."
"Vader promised me if I got her to become his apprentice he would spare her," he reveals to me. "The moment she landed on that planet she'd sealed her fate, I'd tried to keep her away but the moment her ship was reported I went there to protect her and struck the deal. Her precious family were about to die and I wasn't going to let her suffer the same fate."
"And so you turned her over for torture with a blaster at her back," I say remembering the words she told me and feel my own blaster beside me on the floor within reach, checking her pulse and finding it even weaker.
"I did," he says and eyes me as he says "It's clear you haven't known her very long so let me enlighten you. I'd been by her side since she was nineteen, I watched her take back Mandalore from the Empire and I watched her lose it because she was too damn stubborn to realise her precious rebellion would spit her right back out the moment they were finished with her." I'm silent now, remembering Chandrila. "And from what I've heard that's exactly what they did, charged her as a war criminal and left her to Moff Gideon on Tatooine."
My head snaps back towards him at the mention of that night "You left me for dead after beating Cobb Vanth within an inch of his life trying to find us."
"You would have done the same if you'd seen me first," he dismisses and goes on. "I've been dealing with the aftermath of her decisions for almost a decade now. She's as tough as they come but she's got a weak heart. She's pretty enough to make any man forget themselves but there's only so many times you can stop her from ruining herself in the name of being a hero. Hell I pulled her out of the ruins of Mandalore after she tried killing herself when she had to live with the consequences of her decisions. She's her own worst enemy and I'm warning you now Mandalorian no man escapes from her unscathed."
The length of their history makes me still and I begin to realise there's a reason she didn't kill him on sight and with her dying in her arms the last thing I want is to doubt where her heart lies.
"I know her past," I say stiffly, but it's never scared me until now.
"Do you?" he questions. "Are you aware you've been shacking up with a suicidal sadist who's spent her enter life pretending to be something she's not? Don't let her pretty face fool you, she's a cruel woman who let me spend five years believing she'd rid herself of our child out of pure spite before leaving me for dead."
His words do nothing but make me want to reach for my blaster "Do you love her or hate her, make up your mind."
"Love and hate, it's all the same to her as you'll come to learn," he says and I look down at her face, unable to see anything but the woman I love. "She'll want to kill me when she eventually wakes up but she won't do it. She can't. The last night together before she left me for dead she spent beating me until she turned to words to try to provoke me into hurting her to fulfil whatever sick satisfaction it gave her before pushing me into bed. She's a twisted woman, always has been. Whatever she's told you I did to her it was nothing she didn't allow, hell you saw it. She has a way of bringing out the worst in a man, forcing it to the surface."
"Why are you telling me this?" I stammer, panicking the weaker her breathing grows while he stands there like she's not dying.
"So you can run before it's too late."
I scoff now, realising what his play is "So you can have her?"
"I've loved her through all of these years, and no matter what we always found our way back to one another," he tells me and stops before heading back to the cockpit. "You seem like a good man, you love her, but she isn't the woman you think she is."
With her dying in my arms his words change nothing. "We'll see."
He's almost amused "You will see."
He leaves us and I look down at her, the woman I love, a woman who in so many ways is still as much of a mystery to me as she was when I first laid eyes on her. Whoever she was, I saw glimpses of her today that left me shocked, glimpses I'd never seen before that leave me wondering how much of the truth this man is telling me.
But it doesn't matter, not now, not when I could lose her. I trust her with my life, with the child's life, and that is more important than anything that he could ever tell me, not when I have my own past I try to forget. Not when our child is gone and I need her with me to take him back.
True desperation takes hold of me as her lips turn a shade of blue and I hold her face, afraid to move her without knowing the extent of her head injury, clinging to the faint beat of her pulse that is the only thing keeping the last shred of my sanity from breaking.
"Wake up," I plead with her, if there is one thing Fett is right about it's that she's too stubborn to die like this at the Empire's hands. "We need to protect Grogu, he needs us." Still she lays unconscious and my voice breaks "I need you."
When I was dying I had her and the child by my side, I would have died in peace having felt her lips on mine knowing there was someone to mourn me, to raise the child. I may be here, but she would not die in peace knowing the child is in danger, knowing he was taken by the Empire as she was when she was just a child.
As I died the only regret I had was that I had not had more time with her, I would have died a happy man if she opened her eyes to look upon my face when she kissed me and so with shaking hands I lift my helmet now and put it aside to look upon her with my own eyes. If she were to wake now I would have no regrets if only to feel her warm and alive in my arms.
"I love you," I tell her, knowing I might never get to say them again. "I can't- I can't go back to how it was before you and the kid. I can't." I'm choking back a sob as I fight tears, something I didn't realise I was still capable of. "Please, stay with me. Stay with me cyar'ika."
I kiss her cold head, feeling my tears wet her skin as I once felt hers wet mine. I thought I was gone, but she saved me.
I might not be able to wield the force to bring her back from the brink of death, I may be just a man begging the woman he loves to stay with him but that is enough. It has to be.
Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.
Warnings: TW for torture, severe ptsd, mention of past miscarriage and intimate violence in the flashback. This one gets pretty dark in places and will for the next few chapters. But there is fluff and some smut amongst the angst.
Word Count: 7.8k
A/N: okay this was originally 10k words so I cut it off at the start of the interaction which means next chapter is going to be the definition of female rage and is already half written. My apologies for making everyone wait so long but it is back and next chapter will follow soon where shit will truly hit the fan.
ALSO I have gone back and rewritten from chapter 20 onwards, everything is the same but just fleshed out with more smut so enjoy
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I was heaving on the floor of the cell on Cloud City, blood surrounding me, screaming into oblivion as if the pain in my heart was enough to kill me, to spare me. Screaming in rage in the slightest chance he could hear me. My bloodstained hand hovered over the burning brand on my ribs, heat pulsing from it but my mind, it was my mind Vader had picked apart.
Desperately I threw myself against the door of the cell as if I could break it down, as if my pain alone could give me the strength of Vader but I was no Skywalker. I was a broken girl with a planet of glass for a home and no one to protect me.
In my fit of madness it felt as if the world was ending and with each slam of my body against the metal I heard the bombs dropping over Mandalore, felt them shake the ground beneath me and waited for the burning world to collapse down upon me and this time finally end me so I could die with my people.
After what could have been minutes or hours I finally heard the door's seal break from the outside and raised a bruised and broken hand, reaching for what I thought would be Vader's saber to die if only to lay one strike down upon him, but instead I found her.
"Leia?" I gasped out and collapsed then and there as she took me in her arms. There was one person left to protect me after all."I didn't know- I didn't-"
What part I meant, I didn't know. All I knew was I'd been betrayed.
"Kyra?" she whispered in horror clutching me to her until I cried out from the contact to the burning brand, blood from my hands now staining her white suit. "What did Vader do to you?"
I'm gasping as I wake, struggling against the weight of Din in the tiny sleeping compartment, not realising where I am as I break it open and throw myself down onto the floor of the ship, looking up at the lights but no shocks rack my body and no blows come. Terrified tears stain my cheeks as he gets on his knees in front of me, repeating my name cautiously until he reaches for my face to bring me back to where we truly are.
"Kyra?" his voice quakes as I struggle for breath, hand reaching for my throat still gasping for breath and he pulls me into his arms, my head in the crook of his neck as I grasp his cloak for something to hold onto, to convince my mind and body that I'm safe. "You're safe, you're safe cyar'ika."
His voice trembles and I'm shaking violently as he rocks me in his arms and I don't know how long we're there on the floor until I can bear to look at him and he holds my face in his hands, not needing to ask, knowing enough by now to know what haunts me.
"You're safe," he tells me again, thumb caressing my cheek as I look down at my hands, finding them clean of blood even if I can still feel its warmth. "Kyra?" I shake my head, inching away from his touch. "Kyra, it's me, you're safe."
And yet my mind is twisted and its wires damaged enough I still sit there for moments more trying to connect what I see with the fear in my mind, trying to rationalise it, trying to tell myself there is no danger and therefore I should not be afraid.
On undamaged minds that may work, but not mine.
"Din?" I finally whisper, my mind finally equating his touch with calm, with safety, and I let him take me back into his arms as slowly I ground myself in him.
"I've got you cyar'ika," he promises me, trying to hide how deeply I've scared him. "I've got you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."
I wish I could believe that, for just a moment I almost do.
"The Empire," I begin as he takes my shaking hands in his own. "They aren't gone."
He slowly shakes his head. "No, they aren't."
I nod numbly and tell him "I want them gone, for good, no matter the cost."
A cost the Republic is not prepared to face, the cost of mercy.
But they never showed me mercy.
"We will start with Moff Gideon," he tells me, giving me something to hold onto as he rests his forehead on mine. "We'll kill anyone we have to. We'll do whatever it takes no matter the cost to keep you and the child safe."
His promise echoes through the empty chambers of my broken mind, reminding me of my purpose. To keep the child safe. Exhausted and wanting to forget everything but his touch I shut my eyes and do what I've always done, what I did when I was just a child captured by the empire, tell myself it was just a bad dream, a bad dream that never happened.
But it did.
~
I wake to the child nuzzling into me, still resting in Din's arms in the middle of the ship with a blanket wrapped over me, everything numb. But for the child's sake I take him in my arms and try to smile, and feel in the child a pain not so dissimilar to my own, a dark pain, a fear. But even more blinding is his compassion as he reaches out to try to ease my own pain, the compassion that makes a Jedi.
I close my eyes and feel flashes of sabers and blasters and hold the child a little tighter, feeling something is terribly wrong, or will be. Something more immediate than the nightmares that haunt us both.
"Kyra?" I hear Din ask, more than in tune with my expressions by now. "What is it?"
"Can you take the kid up to the cockpit, I need to meditate," I tell him and feel surprise at my own words, despite being a Jedi I could count the number of times I've meditated in the last year on one hand despite how devoted I once was to it.
"Alright," he says uncomfortably, not wanting to leave me alone, but somehow pulls me out of that darkness with one silly question "Is that a Jedi thing?"
"Yeah," I say, laughing softly as I wipe tears from the corners of my eyes. "Yeah it is."
Before he lets me go he squeezes my hand tight and says "If you need me, get me."
He has never treated me like glass, and now is no exception despite how badly I know he doesn't want to let me out of his sight. I'm thankful for it.
"I will," I tell him and watch as he lifts the kid up, able to find some joy in the sight before they disappear up into the cockpit and I'm left to contemplate what these dreams coming back mean.
I cannot remember the last time my nightmares had me in such a state. I remember Lando's concern when I'd wake in similar states not knowing where I was and trying to escape, how he'd call Leia trying to get me help with little luck. It is the first time Din has truly seen it, I know it's left him more shaken than he'd admit.
The closer we get to the planet the worse this feeling of doom is, perhaps it's being in close proximity to a place the force is so strong while in such a state, perhaps it's a warning.
Either way, there is a nagging paranoia in me that from experience can only be two things. The Empire and Boba Fett and so I try to rationalise before I jump to conclusions.
If Boba's been living in poverty on Tatooine as all but a ghost for this many years it is safe to say he wouldn't even have the capabilities to follow us, but still, I'm remembering parts of dreams I thought I'd long blacked out and so I force myself to sit in a meditative state to uncover what they are trying to tell me. Luke would probably drop dead from shock if he could actually see me meditating to work through my problems. I hardly remember the girl who managed to train Luke to be the Jedi he is, it's past time I found her again.
Yet my subconscious forces me to remember many events I'd rather not touch until it takes me to those early days with Boba, back before I ever feared him. When I'd found him weeks after my parents deaths, a man who captivated me as no other had, hired help I was stupid enough to not let go. I was one of the only people to ever tell him no when he refused my offer to join me, and most certainly the only one to live, and sure enough we found a price he accepted.
In the early days there was little fighting between us, it was something built on mystery and a curiosity to learn more of one another, and then a deep respect. Captivating by this stranger in a time when I found myself growing ever more estranged from my aunt for my methods that she found either too pacifist or too extreme, her faith in me was little despite the strong front we put on. I found myself leaning on him as a trusted advisor to guide me through troubles with Mandalorians who resembled him more than myself, even if he was a clone to all others he still upheld our creed and significantly more credits than he did before he met me.
Long days on Mandalore fighting and mourning, days when I found myself struggling to hold what power I could and was somehow under the illusion I had power over this deadly man and mistakenly thought I was the one to seduce him in the dangerous game we played. I don't know how many times he asked me if it was what I wanted that very first time, leaving no room for me to regret it when he warned me of exactly what he was before he ever touched me. I all but begged him too, wanting to feel like a woman instead of a broken child, but I was too young to even begin to comprehend what I was getting myself into.
But at nineteen you truly do believe you are sure of what you want, and he knew he was the only man I trusted. At some point before it fell apart that very first time he truly respected me when he watched me wield the Darksaber to defeat men twice my age and size who challenged me for it. Like that one of Vizsla who I sent back into exile after I defeated him in combat before all the clans for the crimes he had committed against my mother alongside Death Watch that final time when I was sixteen and struck Maul down.
That was the moment I gained the respect of the people, a respect Boba told me I'd thrown away by leaving Bo-Katan as regent to return to the Rebellion.
Little did I know it was that very moment I returned to the Rebellion I'd lost whatever real love was between us. That was the moment we found ourselves on opposite sides of the war as he turned to the Empire to fill his pockets.
Every dark thing inside of me he brought out, and I was powerless to stop him as he turned my rage into something that haunts me to this day. It haunts me when I know at some point Vader put credits in his hand to bring me to him and I wonder for just how long before Cloud City he was trying to seduce me to the Empire's side so I'd go willingly.
To this day I still don't know what were lies, all I knew was that despite everyone he'd done, he loved me and I him.
"You can claim you're better than me, doing what you do for the greater good, except you're lying," Boba told me that last night together. "You don't care about the greater good or honour, you do what you do because you want revenge. You kill because you like it. You have a cruel streak in you, princess. Deep down you are just as ruthless as I am."
I hated how safe I always felt with him even though I should have been terrified, because he was the only person in the galaxy who I could show the worst of me and he wouldn't even blink an eye. Even on Tatooine when I was Jabba's prisoner. Because the worst of me was only a fraction of the worst of him. "If I'm a killer then what are you? A masochist? A traitor? You are a man without honour Boba Fett."
Those last words struck a nerve. "You can pretend all you want. But you aren't a good person. You aren't a hero." He had me backed up against the wall of his room that Jabba's guards had thrown me into as a personal thank you for giving him Han. Jabba's gift to Boba. "Do you really think they'll love you once they know everything you've done?" His hand was around my throat as burning tears slipped down my cheeks. Not to choke me, but to keep me still as he revealed "Do they know you're the one who led me straight to Solo? That I incinerated your friend Skywalkers aunt and uncle?" I shook beneath his touch. "That you knew all along he was Vaders and lied to him, to everyone." But it was when his blaster pressed against my exposed stomach I knew that he knew. "To me."
"I lied to you?" I repeated dangerously, now in pure disbelief at the words I heard. "I?" I pushed him off of me then, my voice raising to a scream of pure rage as I shoved him again into the opposite wall. "I lied to you? All you ever did was lie!"
"I never lied to you princess, I told you exactly what I was," he said as my hand itched for a blade. "You just never wanted to hear the truth." He stepped back towards me, telling me the words that were the truth. "You are not an innocent, you are not a victim, you are the one who never listened when I warned you of what I was and what would happen."
It was the truth, and yet it didn't make him an innocent either.
"Look at it," I told and slapped him across the face before I grabbed it and pulled his eyes down to the brand Vader left on me. "He left it just for you." He shut his eyed like a coward as I hissed. "Turns out he doesn't like his little bitch fucking his targets."
He pulls my hand back, and I'm smiling knowing I've hit him where it hurts. "I'm no one's bitch."
"You were mine," I remind him, knowing he was once my hired blaster. "A shiny bar of beskar and you're owned by anyone."
He grabbed me by the chain around my throat. "And you're the one in chains now princess so tell me how that's worked out for you? No home, no family, no one to love you that won't soon be dead. No one but me."
I slammed him back into the wall, reaching for any weapon within reach I could get my hands on "You fuck-"
"Hate me all you want princess, you love me."
"No," I lied, hating myself because it was true. "How can I after you fucking left me to Vader, after you betrayed me!"
"No more than you betrayed me," he said as if I had a choice, as if I wasn't screaming on the floor of that cell on Cloud City and it was then as I reached for his blaster he grabbed me again, throwing me back and pinning my wrists to the wall. "You took my chance to be a good man from me, to be a father-"
Tears burned in my eyes and I realised the greatest cruelty I could inflict upon him was to let him believe whatever Vader told him and I stopped fighting then as I looked him in the eye. "And I would do it again."
He held me by the throat and I watched seething as he dragged his blaster along my exposed body, the same blaster he'd used countless times to do such unholy things to me, and I didn't look away as he pressed it into my stomach.
He was deadly silent, finger over the trigger as I searched his cold eyes and felt the things he never learned to hide from a person like me.
"I know you Boba Fett," I told him, I might have been the only person in the galaxy who did. "I know you love me." Finally his fist closed around my throat to prove to both of us that he didn't but I hardly blinked as he held it tight, enough to constrict my airways but still unable to bring himself to truly hurt me and somehow that made it worse. "Don't be a coward now, you could choke me to death and still would never come close to inflicting the pain Vader did."
"You were my target," he told me, digging the knife deeper with his words since he couldn't bring himself to do it physically. "From the moment you returned to the rebellion. You were my target when I dug you out of the rubble on Mandalore, every night together was all to get the information I was paid to bring to Vader, but you knew that didn't you?" I didn't give him an answer, I couldn't even give myself one as he tapped his blaster against my cheek. "And you let me do it because you loved me."
I could have used the force to pull the trigger, to end this as I begged him to do half a year before. For my blood to be on his hands, the blood of the woman he loved. It would have been cruelly poetic, but I was too bitter to die before seeing the end of the empire.
"How?" I finally asked him as I searched his heart and mind, finding such strong love twisted with darkness, finding the same in mine own heart and that darkness was what I could not forgive. "How could you do this to someone you love?"
"This was never love," he told me, seeing what I couldn't but his heart- he could not hide it from me, not from a Jedi.
"Liar," I breathed, smiling at the hate in his eyes, his lips hovering just above mine. "If it wasn't we would have killed each other a hundred times over by now."
"Kyra."
I jump at the sound Din's voice, pulled from the meditative state that's reminded me of why I don't meditate. I wanted clarity not pain, and I certainly don't have the time to unravel years of torture before I can figure out what the immediate danger at hand is.
"Are you alright?"
I nod stiffly, composing myself but still Boba's words haunt me amongst much else.
"I'm just thinking, that's all."
"About the nightmare?" he asks and comes over to me, sitting down in front of where I am and takes my hands in his. "We're raising a child together ner karta, there isn't anything you can't tell me."
But there is. There is so much I haven't been able to speak a word of to anyone. Not even Leia after she found me there a bleeding mess on the floor but she knew. Her and Lando both saw me there, Lando in all these years has never once dared to mention what he saw and Leia... we held each other all through that night, not having to speak a word of what we'd both lost.
"Sometimes I dream of the war," I tell him, not going into detail. "More often than not they turn into nightmares."
"But not like that," he says and gently presses "All these nights we've spent in the same room, I've never seen you like that."
I swallow hard and tell him just enough "In my nightmare I was trying to break out of a cell and when I woke I didn't know where I was."
He nods slowly, thumb running over the side of my hand, gently calming me but the only interpretation I can find of those dreams is that something is coming and I can't afford to let myself end up trapped and helpless again. I need to heed Boba's words instead of pretending I am not what he knows me to be. I never fought out of the goodness of my heart as a Jedi should, it was a search for justice that quickly turned to revenge.
The time of pretending I am a peaceful person is over, I've trained Luke and Leia, I did my duty to them in resisting those violent urges to keep them from being tempted by darkness. I will fight darkness until the day I die instead of surrendering to it, but I can't deny my Mandalorian nature.
"My mother Satine, she was the most staunch pacifist in the galaxy," I tell him and realise how little I've told him of her. "She watched Mandalore be destroyed by civil wars before either of us were born, her father was killed during the last of them. I never knew him but he was a follower of the old ways, a warrior. It was him who taught Bo-Katan the way, and her who taught me. It was at the end of these wars your people were exiled to the moons of Mandalore."
"Concordia," he reveals and suddenly it all makes sense. "My people were of Concordia, it was there we lived before the purge."
"And that was the divide that almost got her killed more times than I can count," I tell him while he listens carefully. "She believed that the moment we commit to fighting we've already lost and that was the ideology that kept Mandalore neutral until the Empire decided otherwise and she did her part, playing along in order to protect her people until she couldn't." It's then an old guilt surfaces, a wound Boba would always tear open to be cruel. "All because her daughter was a Jedi. I had worked with the Rebellion for three years at that point, since the last time Death Watch tried to kill her, and so when she surrendered and was taken to Vader Leia and I tried to rescue her. By the time I found her Vader had tortured her to the point her body had all but given out, and her last words to me, the greatest pacifist to ever live, were that Mandalore's fate was in my hands now and to never stop fighting."
He's silent in contemplation of my words until he says "And you've never stopped. Even now you're still fighting the Empire."
"But what if I'm fighting the wrong battle?" I ask him finally, trying to find some meaning in these nightmares. "What if running around the outer rims fighting Imperial remnants is the wrong battle, one I've been fighting since the moment the war ended. What if the battle I should be fighting right now is for Mandalore? What if fighting the Empire to keep ourselves safe isn't enough?"
"Then I'll stand behind you," he swears to me but cautiously asks "What's brought this on?"
"I want Moff Gideon dead, I want my enemies to burn," I confess to him, that violent streak I've tried to hide baring itself. "I don't want to just hide away with Grogu living the reclusive life of a Jedi. I want justice, I want the one thing a Jedi shouldn't which is revenge."
He tilts his head towards me and I can feel the concern as he takes my hand "Then when we kill Moff Gideon we will find other Mandalorians, the fight for Mandalore is not lost unless you say it is."
I look at him and ask a careful question "I know you have the same ruthless streak that I do Din. You're a bounty hunter, I'm a soldier. We're both killers." He's quiet, not knowing where I'm going with this but all I know is that I need him to see the parts of myself I don't know how to love myself, to prove to myself Boba's words aren't true, that there will be no one to love me but him. "We might fight for peace, but that doesn't mean we aren't killers all the same."
"I know what I am," he tells me, voice rough. "Before the child, I was a cold-blooded killer, a bounty hunter, but I thought you hated that."
"No," I say quickly, immediately separating what Din is from what Boba was and realise "I'd be lying to you if I said I ever did. You said that you were never a hero like I was but I was never a hero Din, I never did the things I did for the greater good. I did them because like Ahsoka said, I had my mothers passion for justice but more than that I wanted revenge for the things the Empire had taken for me and to protect what I feared losing. I could never admit it because that is not the way of the Jedi."
"But it is the way of the Mandalorian," he says and I look down at our joined hands. "If you think that for even a moment that seeing that side of you would make me love you less then you're wrong." He lifts my chin back up as he tells me "I only love you more."
And with those words he makes me realise something no one else could in almost ten years, that I don't need a bloody and violent love that leaves me in agony. Not when I have him, a man who knows my past and what comes with it and yet loves me unconditionally. Who has taught me I can love without pain.
The next thing I know I'm in his arms and he's holding me tight, the cold beskar feeling like home as I tell him "I love you Din Djarin. When I'm with you, somehow everything makes sense."
He chuckles lightly as he tells me "I wish I could say the same but I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this Jedi stuff."
I laugh with him now, the darkness forgotten as I tell him "This is what I mean, you can always pull me out of anything, no matter how caught up I get in my own head."
"Well it's hardly like you don't have anything to worry about," he tells me, always practical in his reasoning and admits to me "Sometimes I swear all I do is worry. Is this what it's like being a parent?"
My smile turns a little sad. "I wouldn't know, but I'm learning." My fingertips run along the edge of his helmet. "And I'm glad to be doing it with you, with a man who understands what it's like to be willing to do anything for those we love, no matter how violent."
He tugs me close as he tells me "Do you really think I fell in love with a peace loving Jedi? I fell in love with a Mandalorian woman who could hand my ass to me on a silver platter."
I laugh against his helmet "You've barely even seen me in a fight yet."
His voice is deep as says "The day I see you in beskar fighting is the day I'll be on my knees begging to make you mine."
My chest tightens at what he's suggesting and I play coy "I'm already yours."
He pulls me into his lap, squeezing my waist as he tells me "Not until I can call you my wife you aren't."
"Din-" I breathe, my hands on his chest plate as he pulls me flush to him and my forehead touches his, wanting it, wanting something I swore to myself I'd never want again but here I am.
And I'm not afraid anymore.
"I want to kiss you," he murmurs, taking my hand and holding it to his beskar cheek.
"Then kiss me," I say, pressing my lips to the beskar, quite comfortable with the circumstances that come with it "I can-"
"I don't want you to close your eyes," he tells me quickly, and he nervously lifts up his helmet as he would if he was drinking and I gently put a cautious hand on his before I can see anything.
"Are you sure?"
"I am," he says and lifts his helmet enough that I can see the patchiness of his beard, his lips. I take his shaking hand in mine as I bring my lips to his, tracing the outline of his jaw with them, leaving soft kisses in my path.
"I love you," I breathe, letting him feel my words as I kiss him. "All of you, helmet and all."
"And I love you," he says, his voice raw and unmodulated and beautiful.
"I know I'd love to hear more of that voice," I say, running my thumb over his lips.
I can feel his smile. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," I smile back, kissing him softly before pulling his helmet back down. "But only what you're ready to give."
"I want you to see me," he says, but I can feel the conflict behind those words. "The creed I- I know it isn't what I was raised to believe but-"
"You don't have to explain my love," I tell him gently. "I understand, and I love you. You don't need to force yourself to abandon the beliefs you hold or make any decisions until you're sure of them."
"Thank you," he breathes, hands heavy on my body, showing me his love and need for me in the way he knows how since words don't always come easy to him, but he does better than he thinks he does. "I love you Kyra, more than anything."
Except for the child but we both know that.
"I know," I promise him and he grips my waist just right and I have to bite back a moan as he begins tugging my dress up and I gasp out as he lifts me up, my back slamming into the wall as he pulls my legs around his waist, his strength always stunning me.
I'm breathless as he asks "How do you want it?"
"Rough," I answer, needing the release, needing the feeling of him inside of me that clears my mind better than any amount of meditation could and he holds me up with ease as he unzips himself and tugs my dress up to my waist, finding nothing beneath.
"Ever practical," he teases, wasting little time as I feel him line up with me, always ready for him.
"Always," I smile only to find myself choking out his name as he enters me. "Din-"
"That's it," he says soothing me through it, this being one sensation I don't think I will ever get used to. "Say my name."
~
By the time we're approaching Tython we're in the cockpit with Grogu, dressed now for combat in case it finds us as it so often does. Grogu's in my lap while Din's doting over him from the pilots seat.
"Grogu." The kid looks up from his ball in surprise at hearing his name and Din chuckles lightly while Grogu goes back to his ball but he can't resist. "Grogu?"
Grogu looks back up at him and Din makes a sound of astonishment that leaves me sitting there drowning in adoration for this man but remember I'm still responsible for training the little green rascal. "Din, cyare, try the trick you did with Ahsoka, the one with the ball."
He nods and holds his hand out, voice gentle "Give me the ball."
Grogu leans away, not wanting to give up his precious ball and looks up at me as if asking if I'm really going to let him take it and I chuckle "It's okay Grogu."
"Grogu," Din says again. "Give me the ball." Grogu resists, and I begin to wonder if I should be more concerned over his attachment to that ball than to us. "Come on."
He hands it over and I do find it interesting he does understand us almost completely when we speak with him even if he can't talk back, not yet at least but considering all the poor thing's gone through I wouldn't be surprised if he was selectively quiet and that it's delayed his speech. One of the many things we will work on together.
Din holds the ball up between his fingers and Grogu leans forward on my lap "Okay, here we go. You can have it, just like before." Grogu reaches out but not with the force and Din tilts his helmet towards him "Grogu come on, you can have it."
And then I feel it, the focus and nod approvingly as he uses the force to reach out and bring the ball to him and as he catches it Din proudly exclaims "Dank Farrik!" Grogu quickly drops the ball and I kiss his little head as Din quickly backtracks "Hey no, I'm not mad at you, you did good."
"You did Grogu," I affirm gently as he coos "So good."
Grogu listens to Din as he says "When the nice lady said you had training I just-" for a moment I remember my own father training me, how excited he'd get when he saw the progress I'd made and Din reaches forward to put the ball in his hands "You're very special kid."
"You are," I say cuddling him in my lap. "And I'm going to train you just as my dad trained me. " He coos up at me and I smile "I'll teach you to use the force and to speak, to read." Din's watching as I lift him up and he squeals happily. "I dare say your dad will teach you to use a blaster."
"Not a proper blaster yet, but a training one," Din says and I laugh as he makes the motion with his hand. "He won't be able to pull a trigger so it will be one of the ones you squeeze."
"Oh maker I love you Din Djarin," I tell him in pure adoration and feel the warmth beneath that beskar. "And I love you too Grogu."
The kid's smiling as he reaches out, dropping the ball to touch my face and I kiss his forehead, holding him as Din reaches over to squeeze my knee before lowering us into Tythons atmosphere.
I'm absentmindedly humming to Grogu as we enter and look about realising we have absolutely no idea where to find this singular rock on a planet that's no doubt filled with old Jedi relics but thankfully it finds us as we lay eyes on what looks to be a type of temple with a stone in the centre.
"That the one?" Din asks me as if I know anymore than he does but remember I am meant to be the Jedi after all.
"That's the one."
"Alright kid," Din says. "Let's take you to the magic rock."
I shake my head at him while smiling, it's hard not to love him when he views the force with more wonder and mysticism than anyone I've ever met, it makes me see it through new eyes.
He circles it looking for a place to land while I hold Grogu up so he can see and Din says "I can't land on top, we'll have to travel the last stretch with the windows down."
"That's fine," I tell him but can't help the anxiety that comes as we land, that nagging feeling still there. "I just don't want to be too far from the ship."
He nods and he has a hand on my back as we walk out, I sigh when I see the distance we have to walk "Well, we'll be stretching our legs at least."
Din just tilts his head down towards me "Do you really think I'd make you walk?"
And so moments later we're flying to the top, Din holding the kid and I, and it makes me begin to reconsider the issue of my own armour. I discarded it out of shame but now... now it feels as if I'm starting to atone for my defeats.
Perhaps it's time I pick up my armour again, if not for myself then to better protect the child and Din's words are certainly a contributing factor.
We land at the seeing stone and I take in the geometry of the temple, hesitant at what exactly this seeing stone entails but the force's presence here is undeniable. I'd heard stories but feeling it is something else entirely.
"Well, I guess this is it," Din says but still I look back towards the ship, not denying the feeling in my gut but try to not let it show for Grogu's sake.
"The legends say this planet is where the call of the force was heard by the first Jedi," I say to Grogu, the recognition of the name having come to me in the ship. "I remember the stories my father would tell me of the wars here between the light and the dark." I look around, having found the stone but know there should be far more ruins scattered across the planet Luke would find interest in and tell Din. "I want to stay and look about but I've got a bad feeling."
"A bad feeling?" he repeats, trusting my instincts by now.
"I can't pinpoint it, but I want to leave as soon as we're finished at the stone," I answer and he looks about confused since it seems we're the only people on this planet and decide. "After this we're going to Kalevala."
"Kalevala?" he repeats back to me, no doubt knowing the planet since it's in the Mandalore sector but in confusion as to why I'd want to go there
I've come to the place the Jedi originated from, but something is calling me back home and being here, it's as if the force itself is telling me to return.
"To my family's castle," I say and he tilts his helmet towards me in disbelief.
"Your family's castle?" he exclaims. "You have a castle?"
"I'm royalty Din," I remind him and that seems to shock him more than anything else I've ever revealed to him. "You know this."
"I know but there's a difference between saying you're a princess and having a castle."
I look at him incredulously. "Din, I literally ruled Mandalore."
"I know, I know" he assures me but still asks "You have an actual castle and you're living in an apartment on Chandrila?"
I blink at him in offence before confirming "Yes, I have a castle."
"Here that kid?" Din says to Grogu as we walk towards the stone. "You're gonna get a castle."
I laugh as we reach it and remind him "You know for him to inherit we have to take the proper adoption vows."
He stops for a second as if he hadn't even realised he hasn't yet. "You're right, we haven't." His voice is heavy as he tells me "Before you came along I- I could never bring myself to call myself his father. He was always a foundling in my care I thought I would have to give up, but now-"
"Now things are different," I say and hold him as I tell him "He's your son, your foundling, no one's going to take him away from you." I rub Grogu's head as I say "Isn't that right Grogu?"
He smiles and I take him from Din to place him on the rock "Okay now, I don't know what's going to happen but you're going to do what uncle Luke, and no doubt many other Jedi have taught you, and meditate." He makes an annoyed sound as I put him down and sigh "I understand, but you've got to do it, okay?"
He makes a sound resembling an okay and that's good enough for me. Din and I stand back waiting for something to happen and he asks me "Do you feel anything?"
Nothing overly strange aside from the impending doom and overwhelming concentration of the force and ask him curiously "Why, do you feel something?"
He looks around before answering "I feel the wind." He takes a glove off and holds his hand up. "Kind of."
Definitely not force sensitive then.
I take his hand and squeeze it, bringing his attention back to Grogu who sits on the stone watching us instead of connecting to the force.
"Grogu, concentrate," I lecture him. "I know you can feel it."
Din tries to help as he says to Grogu "This is the seeing stone, are you seeing anything?" Grogu just coos and he looks at me and asks "Can you?"
"I will" I answer, knowing if I sat on that stone and meditated I could certainly see many things, but it is Grogu who first needs to. "You see he and I always feel the force but because of how strong it is here it is easier for us to channel it and to have visions."
"Visions of what?" he asks me and I swallow.
"I dare say nothing happy," I tell him stiffly. "But we need Grogu to reconnect with the force without fear and for me to be able to use it to communicate with him as Ahsoka did."
He turns his head towards me and quietly asks "Why can't you?"
A question I've been asking myself for a while but the answer is simple, a combination of my own neglect in connecting with the force and the fact the only force sensitives I ever knew were my father, Luke and Leia. It's out of my expertise.
"You see Din, some people are naturally stronger with the force than others, they would be taken to the Jedi temple to be trained but there are those who are stronger than others. Grogu is one of the strongest to live, as was his father or rather sperm doner," I find myself muttering. "My father was never exceptionally strong and neither am I, he was only a few years younger than myself when he finished his training. It was his devotion and discipline to the force and to his training that made him strong in comparison to his apprentice who was much like Grogu, all raw strength but little discipline."
Grogu makes an offended sound and Din assures him "We know you're trying hard Grogu, it's okay. You're doing great kid."
"He is, compared to myself which has been a reasonable enough amount of raw strength but little discipline these past years. Meanwhile Ahsoka was likely one of the stronger Jedi if she was given to Anakin to train," I explain to Din. "And she's still had more training than I, proper training in the temple by many masters which is something I've never had. My father taught me well, but our time together was cut short. Despite training Luke I still have much to learn, and if Grogu can remember his training and I can see those memories it can help both of us."
"So you'll sit on the stone after him?" Din asks and I nod, turning my attention back to getting the kid to concentrate.
"Feel the force Grogu," I instruct him. "I know you can. It's strong isn't it?" He nods and I prompt "Now close your eyes and let yourself feel it, you don't have to be afraid, we're here, you're safe."
Sometimes I still find it strange, the jump from training a nineteen year old grown boy just older than myself to a child. Although it isn't that different really, Luke may be all serious now but maker knows he wasn't when I was training him.
Din looks around and asks me "Is he supposed to see something or is something supposed to see him?"
I actually stop for a moment at that question and wonder "Both could be possible."
Still Din walks around the stone as Grogu tries to concentrate wondering "Maybe there's a control or something."
I watch as he uses the settings of his visor to search for any mechanics in the rock until I have to interrupt.
"Din, ner cyare," I say, finding his effort to be involved in his training truly endearing, I really can't help but adore it, but have to inform him"That's not how the force works. Let the kid concentrate."
But just as the kid looks as if he's gotten into that meditative state his eyes open up and he reaches for a butterfly.
Din sighs and tells me "I'll never understand the force."
"You will," I assure him and squeeze his hand. "The first thing is to remember it is not physical or literal, it is a sense as much as hearing or seeing, or rather feeling like you'd feel an emotion, but it takes effort to connect with." I look at Grogu and tell him "Effort Grogu, now close your eyes and focus."
I use the force to non fatally flick the butterfly away and after a sound of protest he closes his eyes and finally settles into a meditative state leaving Din and I in a state of awe as the inscriptions around the stone come alight and a force shield emerges around Grogu.
"Holy-" I hear Din begin and nod in agreement, not having seen anything quite like this before but our awe is interrupted by the sound of something entering the atmosphere.
Slowly I turn to see the ship entering the atmosphere and the very blood is drained from my veins at the sight of it, a ship I know far too well.
My eyes fall shut, everything making sense now.
"Is it a Jedi?" Din asks in confusion and slowly I shake my head. "Kyra?"
I can feel him so strongly, that whisper that's haunted me right here, right now.
This can only end bloody.
"Get the kid," I order, drawing my saber. "Now!"
But as he goes to grab the child the forceshield blasts him back onto the ground and with wide eyes I help him up, anxiously looking up at Slave I and back to the kid.
"Is it the Empire?" Din asks me but I can't even bring myself to speak his name as I grab Din's blaster and he yells out as I fire five shots right into the forceshield only for each one to be reflected. "Kyra!"
"The kid's safe here but we need to get to your ship and get weapons," I order him, the forceshield being enough protection for me. "Get ready for a fight."
"What-"
"Ship, now!" I order and he yells out after me as I run down the mountain, keeping low as I make my way through the scrub, his voice fading out as he runs after me and I don't stop until I'm met with blaster fire and he quickly takes cover as I reflect the shots with ease and stand out in the open, unafraid and perhaps already a little mad.
"Kyra!" I hear Din barking out, trying to get me to take cover but I am not hiding.
"Come out Boba," I call and feel the pure panic from Din as he finally realises who we are facing, realises why my first instinct was to draw my weapon. "You hunted me down on Tatooine, don't run away now!"
I should be terrified but I'm not. He has haunted me for half a decade now, ten years since I first laid eyes on him. I know him too well to fear him.
But it's as he emerges cloaked in black a different horror has me in its grasp and I look upon the man I once loved as he stands before me, scared and deformed, as if he's aged twenty years from the damage done to him.
The damage I did to him.
I draw a sharp breath and he sees it, he sees the horror in my eyes as I whisper his name.
Dean and Stevie Singer have been inseparable since childhood. Now with Sam away at college and with their fathers no longer speaking they crave one another more than ever, and find that love they have for one another has changed as they’ve grown older.
When the demon who killed Stevie’s mother comes for her, Dean makes the decision to disobey his father’s orders to go after her, and the two of them hit the road, unable to deny what’s between them any longer.
Only to discover Azazel has the same fate planned for Stevie as Mary, which causes Dean to make a decision he can never take back while she herself battles with the most important decision of her life.
Both of them willing to do whatever it takes for their family, even if it means they hate each other forever.
A/N - Starts in 2002 with young Dean and Stevie, then jumps to season one and will continue through the first seasons loosely following canon.
Robb Stark/Jon Snow x Original Female Baratheon Character
All current 30 chapters are published on wattpad and Ao3
Cassana Baratheon learns she is betrothed to Robb Stark amidst her plot against her mother’s family, and finds that what they have is far deeper than an oath, until tragedy strikes and she finds herself drawn to the Bastard of Winterfell. She struggles between duty, her heart, and what she has always desired.
The Iron Throne.
The trueborn daughter of Cersei Lannister and Robert Baratheon cannot ignore what has always been hidden in plain sight, and the battle for the Iron Throne begins.
Her own blood, Baratheon and Lannister alike, become her enemies and she soon learns the price for those who venture near the throne, a throne Robb despises. The lines between friend and foe and lover blur as she seeks alliances between the greatest players in the game and those who share her thirst for revenge against the Lannisters.
When secrets long hidden finally unravel, can the rightful heir to the Iron Throne survive her enemies and a love that threatens to destroy her?
Or does fate have other plans?
Tags/warnings; arranged marriage, angst, eventual smut, fluff, strong violence, strong language, alcohol abuse, sexual violence, love triangle, infidelity. Eventual and temporary Margaery, Oberyn relationships.
A/N: I plan for this to span the entire series as one of my longer fanfictions, it will probably make people mad because it’s written in true game of thrones style with sex, death, and everything in between. There are currently twenty chapters written which I will gradually upload, they are available on wattpad and I plan to also upload to ao3. OC is sixteen at the start, some content will not be suitable for all audiences. So please only read if you are only eighteen. Sex scenes will occur but will not be explicit until the oc is nineteen or so. There will be sexual violence in the rare chapter but will be explicitly tagged in my usual tagging/warning system and emphasised. This story is plot focused rather than smut focused, and will be quite long and different to my other stories which I have posted.
Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.
Warnings/tags: Trigger warnings for flashbacks: suicide attempt, violence, gunplay, trauma. For the rest of the story: near death, jealousy, violent impulses, threatening, descriptions of ptsd and injuries, mentions of miscarriage, angst angst angst, Din and Lando united against Boba
Word Count: 7.9k
A/N: it gets worse before it gets better but the next chapter is angst to the extreme. I have the proceeding fight between her and Boba written but it would have pushed the chapter to 10k words so expect it in the next one. I wanted to spend some time in Boba's pov exploring the other side of their story from his eyes. Also one scene is very much inspired by the "we don't like him do we" one from ginny and gerogia,
ALSO THAT NEW EPISODE. NOW THAT IS MOTIVATION TO WRITE.
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~
Boba Fett
From the cockpit I can hear the Mandalorian talking to her as if that alone could undo a missile impact. He loves her. Not that I can blame him. Once I was in the same state as him after pulling her out of that rubble after the oxygen in her lungs had been replaced with chemicals, not that she was conscious to see it. Much like now, but something tells me she'll know.
She always does.
Perhaps I said the things to the Mandalorian that I did out of spite, perhaps I respect the man, maybe I want to kill him, maybe it's the fact it was easier to voice the hate in my heart than to look at her dying in another man's arms.
He's terrified, I was as well when I saw the missile impact.
But I was right when I told him she's both too stubborn to die and too hard to kill. A trait the rest of the Jedi didn't share, one I attribute to her sheer spite more than Mandalorian blood, but what keeps me calm is knowing I've seen her perform stranger miracles than surviving a direct hit from a missile.
Fennec and I sit in silence as we enter the system until she finally breaks it.
"You neglected to tell me the woman who had your armour was formerly pregnant with your child."
There is frustration in her voice, almost repulsion, not that I can criticize it when she heard the whole of it. "Was. A long time ago."
She is hardly one to judge, but she does. "That information would have been valuable before engaging."
I scoff, forgetting most aren't familiar with warriors like Kyra "How so?"
"I hadn't accounted for a vengeful Jedi," she says and shakes her head, touching her throat from where Kyra strangled her. Her willingness to use the force to commit violence is something I had not accounted for, but I should have known threatening her would only make her snap.
"Well it seems she is the only one of those left in the galaxy," I say, glad to know at least one of us has not changed.
"We owe them Boba," she says stiffly. "For the child."
"I know," I say quietly. I owe her. If she has claimed this child as hers, whether as a padawan or a foundling, or more likely both, it's my duty to return it to her. "And we will help them if she lets me live long enough."
Physically I know she can kill me, she may be one of the few people still alive who can. I haven't been on the receiving end of an attack from her, not truly at least, but I've seen enough to know what she is capable of, it's only ever been her heart and damned code that's held her back from committing massacres.
I've heard the rumours, that her and Skywalker walked into a room with Vader and the Emperor and only they left alive. I hope she killed them, with Skywalkers strength and her skill they are they only people in the galaxy who could.
I'll never forget the day I stood in that throne room on Mandalore when Viszla challenged her, a hulking man with a full foot on her and still he ended up beaten.
And that was without her Jedi tricks.
"Mando filled the space you left in the guild after the Sarlaac," Fennec warns me, I'd done my research and came to the conclusion that Kyra would only find herself in league with a man who could rival her. "I can assure you that he's just as likely to drop you once she's safe."
"Great," I find myself saying. He's taken my woman and my reputation without even realising it. "He can take what he wants, but there is no other bounty hunter like me. Only me."
"Except for the fact you're in love with the same woman," she says, more frustrated I withheld important information from the mission than anything else. "That you had also neglected to inform me of."
"Fucking the same woman," I correct. "I never said anything about love."
"I'm not deaf," she shortly, no doubt having heard the conversation below. "I thought living with the Tuskans was what made you soft, not her."
"She did," I force myself to admit. "And it got me all but killed."
"Better not make the same mistake twice then," she says and that's the end of the conversation, yet for just a moment I remember what it was like to have Kyra beside me in this cockpit, remembering it all too well. Right from the first time we met, when she paid me to smuggle her to Mandalore after her mothers death, hiding behind a veil and giving no name.
"First time dealing with a bounty hunter?" I asked her, having picked up on the fact she was some aristocrat but I never could have known the Mand'alor herself was sitting beside me.
"Something like that," she answered. "I sat in that Cantina for hours, I approached you because of that armour you wear, those who follow the old ways have a code of honour about them for the most part."
"Then why are you suspicious of me?" I asked her, her body cues obvious enough.
"Because suspicion has kept me alive."
I was almost impressed although cautious when I realised I had a refugee onboard. "Would I be right to assume you aren't quite friends with the Empire?"
"No one is friends with the Empire," she said, and there was a regal yet frustrated tone to her voice that should have alerted me to who she was as it was all too similar to the Duchess Satine's. "We all live under their rule, for some that is more difficult than others."
"We all do what we must to make a living," I told her, just wanting to make my way through the galaxy with some credits in my pocket. "Why make life more difficult for yourself?"
"That's a good question," she said, she was a young woman but spoke with a self righteous wisdom that felt too familiar. "Some of us are born into difficult situations, it's all we know."
"With the wealth you have it can't have been that difficult," I dismissed. "You sure have enough beskar to keep yourself comfortable."
"Blood money," she replied and those words sparked my intrigue.
"What money isn't blood money?" I asked her, but she knew that and still judged it with the true hypocrisy of a Jedi. "Did you forget who you hired?"
"A bounty hunter," she answered simply. "And from the price you charged that man on Tatooine a very good one I suspect, expensive enough for these parts anyways."
"If you've lived your life on Tatooine you would know it is the rate for Bounty Hunters of my experience, it's in the outer rims where blood money runs thick," I said and tilted my head towards her. "Unless that is just another part of your story."
"You doubt I'm Mandalorian," she said and then left me stunned as she spoke in Mando'a. "I am more than most who claim to be."
Oh little did I know just how much until we were entering Mandalore's atmosphere and she was telling me to fly past Imperial ships straight for the palace and I felt like the greatest fool in the galaxy realising I was sitting beside the spawn of a Mandalorian duchess and a Jedi, a Jedi I'd once tried to kill.
She'd kept up her game of disguise all the way from Tatooine until that moment, even after I'd found the bodies of the stormtroopers she'd left on a layover planet the moment I'd let her out of my sight. I'd sat here in this very cockpit dumbfounded at having been blindsided for one of the very few times in my life, that the aristocratic woman I'd agreed to smuggle was a very capable killer and I didn't even know it. That I didn't know I was sitting beside someone who moved like a ghost and shed blood without blinking an eye.
I think that was the very moment I knew I was fucked.
Maker knows I still am and she might not even make it to Cloud City. But I can't afford to think like that, after all she's endured she won't die today. She can't. Not like this.
She's older now, closer to the age I was when I met her, and with age has certainly come both beauty and bitterness. She's no longer a girl shouldering the weight of Mandalore and the Jedi on her shoulders, but a battle scarred woman who has lost more than most could ever fathom. Something I did not understand, not until the murder of the Tuskans. It is easy to blame those with a responsibility until you are the one carrying it, and having failed.
I went to her on Tatooine not just for the armour, I didn't beat Cobb Vanth just for beskar, but for her. That was when I discovered the Mandalorian and knew something had changed.
All those years during the war, from retaking Mandalore after her mother surrendered it to that day on Tatooine, we found our way back to one another. No amount of hate or betrayal could ever change that. Even that last night together no matter how much she hated me it didn't stop her from pulling me into bed.
I tried to convince her to abandon it all, but she wouldn't. Even so, after Cloud City I turned on Vader. She can scoff at me and deny I'd ever draw a blade on him, but I did when he told me he knew she was pregnant when he tortured her but it was too late to undo the damage that had been done. I never knew she'd lost the child then. For months I tried to get back to her until I lured her to Tatooine, expecting her to be half a year or more pregnant and there she stood as I'd last seen her with such rage in her eye that I believed what Vader told me she would do and she let me believe it.
Vader twisted both our minds, and now I know the truth all I feel is shame. Shame that the one good thing in my life, my one chance at a future to be a good man as my father was, I ruined it.
I ruined her.
And yet I can't accept what is right in front of my eyes.
That she loves this strange Mandalorian in a way she did not love me.
All those years of running around the outer rims together so her family would never know about us and now this Mandalorian seems to know them all. That was what told me all I needed to know in my questioning. She loves him, I knew that when I watched her find him bleeding out on Tatooine, but here she suddenly is with a child and a man she'd brought to meet the people she loves most. The two things her and I never had, the two things that were impossible for us despite how close we came to having it.
Everything I wanted for us, the freedom to travel the galaxy with just her and our child, a life together without the war or the Empire or the Rebellion. Just us.
Everything I wanted, everything I spent years fighting for, suddenly she has with another man.
That wounds me more than any words she could ever say.
I would have done anything for it, but she would never abandon the Rebellion for anything, not me, not Mandalore, nothing.
We were in bed together in an inn on a world where no one would know us, it was the unspoken condition of our arrangement following our reunion after Mandalore. We were each others secret.
My arm was around her shoulder, tired smiles on both our faces as I watched her inspect my new blaster. She was warm in my arms, the only soft thing I had in my life.
"It's expensive," she said, despite her insistence that blasters were uncivilised in comparison to a lightsaber she had no problems wielding one.
"I'm expensive," I reminded her, not that she needed it.
"Oh I know," she assured me and it earned a low chuckle. I watched in quiet amusement as she lined the blaster up with a decorative plate on the wall, making blaster sounds with her mouth.
I raised an eyebrow at the display "It sounds a bit more sophisticated than that."
"Yeah alright shut up," she laughed and I reached around to put a hand over hers. She didn't need any instruction with a blaster but I knew she liked it and so did I.
"It's silenced," I told her as I watched her face. "Yet still able to penetrate the thickest of armour. It's a smooth design, not bulky. Perfectly rounded edges."
"Hmm," she hummed as her already naked body warmed and I ran the barrel along her jaw knowing how she liked it, and there was nothing more erotic than watching her face as I fucked her with my blaster. Nothing. She bit back a moan as I ran it over her lips, getting her just how I wanted her as she tilted her chin up towards mine, her eyes fluttering closed as she murmured my name "Boba."
"Princess," I said, liking how she melted with a single touch and tried in vain to get her to leave that damn inn with me when I had her in the only state I could ever get her to beg in "You should come with me for a while, wherever you want to go."
Her eyes opened and that lovestruck look was gone. "You know I can't."
"You can, you just won't." With that she sat up and held the blankets to her chest and I sighed as I tried to bring her back "Kyra-"
"Don't," she said harshly as I broached that one subject that was sorely off limits.
"Is it so wrong to want you with me?" I asked her and pressed my lips to her shoulder. "Would anyone know if you disappeared for a few days..."
"Yes, considering I'm leading an attack in a few days they would," she revealed, always in anger giving more than she would otherwise and sighed "Boba, you know I want to."
"Then what's stopping you?" I asked her, bit by bit trying to get her to see what she was too stubborn to admit. "The rebellion will survive without you."
"If you want me that badly then come with me," she countered, as defiant as ever.
"That would make things more complicated than necessary," I said, by then she'd had to have known what I was doing and who I was working for, how couldn't she when I was running into her rebel friends in the field.
"You're the one making things complicated by hunting down my friends," she finally snapped and I leaned back in defeat knowing it was only a matter of time before she brought up the last altercation. "Fuck Boba, of all the targets you could take-"
"Solo pays the most," I said and the way she shook her head in anger spurred something in me. "Why do you care?"
She said it as if it was obvious, painfully in denial Solo would fuck her if given the chance and she was far too defensive of him for my liking. "Because he's my friend."
I scoffed "Why are you fucking him too?"
Her eyes widened and I knew I'd certainly hit a nerve in the way she slapped me hard without a moment of hesitation and I grabbed her wrists, pinning her down beneath me despite how she struggled and spat out "Fuck you Boba."
"Are you?" I repeated and saw a sick pleasure in her eyes at riling me up how she did despite how deeply the accusation angered her.
"Why would you care if I was?" she countered, and this time it was her who crossed one of our many unspoken lines. "Don't tell me you love me?"
It had been two years since she'd found me in that cantina, since she'd paid me in beskar to take her to Mandalore and had somehow convinced me to stay as her commander. She was arrogant enough not to take no for an answer and for some reason I allowed it. Of all the work I'd taken, being paid to fight for her and then fuck her every night was far from the worst of it.
Until it became more than that.
I never expected to want to stay, I never knew how invested I'd become until she decided to give it all up to return to the rebellion and left Mandalore in the hands of her aunt. Being the daughter of a Jedi and a pacifist the vengeful temper was a surprise I couldn't place, not until I met Bo-Katan Kryze. They both knew that Bo-Katan was everything Kyra could grow to become, while Kyra was everything Bo-Katan could have been.
Bo-Katan had been defending the palace with the darksaber Kyra had handed to her upon pointing her regent whilst Kyra fought on the front lines against Darth Vader and his legion before the bombs came. They both survived, I don't know what words were exchanged but it was enough for Kyra to bring down the ruins of the palace upon herself while her aunt and her Nite Owls lived.
I didn't know I loved her until I pulled her out of that rubble on Mandalore, but I couldn't admit it, not to her. I was Boba Fett and she was an inconvenience, one I found myself indulging in every chance I got.
"Don't be stupid," I said but she looked right through me and I hated it. "I don't like other men touching what's mine."
"Last time I checked I'm not yours, not when the only time I can have you is like this."
"I'd beg to differ."
She pushed against my hold on her but I didn't let up until she said "No I'm not fucking Han you jealous bastard." Maybe I wanted to believe it so I had an out but the moment I released her wrists she grabbed my face and pulled me down between her legs as she told me "I have what I want." Her next words were the closest either of us could come to telling ourselves and each other the truth. "And that's you Boba."
I watched her eyes darken at the feeling of my blaster between her legs and knew I had her as I gave her a single command "Show me."
And even as she sunk down onto the blaster she still believed she was in control, but if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was to take what she wanted.
It was that attitude that put her on the throne of Mandalore but it was her loyalty to the rebellion that lost her it, her misplaced loyalty that put us on opposite sides of this war. For a moment I was more than a bounty hunter, I was the right hand of the Mand'alor, an honourable man. I watched her fight every challenge to her reign, I watched as she tamed the clans who would have overthrown her if they saw a moment of weakness.
That was until she received one call from the Princess of Alderaan and she put the darksaber in her aunt's hands to run off to the rebel base with her battalion of warriors. That was when it fell apart, the screaming match in the empty throne room in the dead of night. All because she was too afraid to lose her so called family, all because she was that vengeance mad after her parents deaths. I understood the thirst for vengeance and would have been by her side to take it with her, but not when she thought vengeance meant returning to the rebellion.
She should have been glad she was born after the fall of the Jedi order, or else she would have been cast out for her insufferable heart. Her one and only weakness.
Mandalore would have withstood the Empire under her rule if not for it. If she'd made decisions without it instead of letting her own stubbornness and vendetta against the Empire leave Mandalore unstable and open to attack. She was always too much like her mother in believing through sheer willpower alone she could save Mandalore and they both lost it. In the end her mother surrendered it to the Empire so it would survive whilst Kyra did it so she could avenge her parents.
Now she's running around the galaxy with a Mandalorian who won't take off his helmet and a kid that was one of Yoda's species without a clue in hell what she's doing.
If I know anything it's that she protects and avenges what she's lost with the fierceness of a true Mandalorian. I left the Mandalorian to die and the kid was taken whilst we had them at blaster point. We enter the planets atmosphere and I know if she doesn't murder me when she wakes up I'll call myself a lucky man.
"Slave I, turn your ship around or be met with force," the air traffic controller says and I just sigh having anticipated no less.
Before I can try to tell them their beloved rebel hero is on board the Mandalorian comes up to the cockpit and buts in to speak into the com.
"This is Din Djarin, tell Lando Calrissian I have Kyra Kenobi on board and she is gravely injured."
There's chatter in the background before being asked "Is Boba Fett on board?"
"Yes but the General needs immediate care or else she will die," he says, sounding how I feel. "Let us land without violence, either Calrissian or Solo will vouch for me."
I can't help but scoff at him being chummy with those two and Fennec gives me a warning look, clearly acquainted with this Din Djarin and not wanting a fight.
"Alright, proceed to land."
And so I land the ship in the same spot where she ran to me upon arriving on Cloud City, not knowing the Empire was already there and it being too late for her to escape.
Perhaps this time I can make things right.
I have to.
~
Din
The moment the landing dock opens I'm carrying her limp body out of that ship, being met with city guards and finally Calrissian who rushes out.
"What happened?"
"She has internal injuries," I say, knowing how is not urgent right now. "She's barely breathing.
"We've got a bacta tank," he says but just as we rush forward towards the building he comes to a stop, only just taking in the ship and immediately reaches for a blaster "Did he do this to her?"
"No," I say, gathering Calrissian knows their history. "We can deal with him later she needs help now!"
I can't keep the urgent edge from my raised voice, not when she's all but dead and we run inside. I'm cradling her head to my chest to keep it as still as I can as he leads me through the halls until finally we reach a medic bay. Calrissian immediately starts giving orders for the tank to be readied while I strip her of her armour to her underclothes without hesitation, this not being how I'd planned on taking it off when I first saw her walk out of that ship guns blazing in beskar.
Calrissian brings over the harness to hoist her into the tank and the two of us get her inside it, in any other situation I'd cut a man's hand off for touching her in this state of undress but it hardly matters now when she's minutes from death.
"Be careful, her head-" I begin as the nurses secure the breathing apparatus and it's in the way her limp body hangs as she's hoisted inside the tank for a moment I'm sure I'll be sick and I'm bracing myself on the wall, trying to keep myself from collapsing on the spot now she's out of my hands.
"Sir I need to ask you some questions," the doctor says and I struggle to compose myself as he begins "How did she obtain these injuries and how long ago?"
"Direct missile hit around an hour ago," I answer and watch the colour drain from her face. "She- she's a Jedi. The same missile blew my ship to ashes but somehow she survived."
Calrissian's swearing under his breath and nothing feels real as I'm bombarded with more questions he ends up answering.
"Age?"
"Twenty eight."
"Pre-existing health conditions?"
"Severe post traumatic stress," Calrissian answers as I step closer to the glass, putting a hand on it as if I could touch her, feel her pulse no matter how faint to assure myself she's still alive. "Previous head traumas, long term damage to her organs and nervous system from electrocution."
My head snaps around towards him at those words, suddenly finding myself overcome by panic at having not known this whilst she was dying under my watch.
"Force lightning it," he tries to explain but those words don't help. "It doesn't matter how but she's had heart palpitations for years but stopped taking medication for it. She has cognitive processing difficulties, memory loss and disassociation as lasting effects of torture. It's a long list of health conditions but nothing overly out of the ordinary for a war veteran."
Well it's too long for me and I repeat "Lightning?"
"The Emperor," he says and I only tilt my head in confusion. "She hasn't told you about when her and Luke went to kill the Emperor?"
I feel my eyes widen beneath the helmet and I look back at her in pure shock, I knew about Darth Vader but somehow she never mentioned that.
"They killed the emperor?"
"No, technically not but she definitely tried-"
It's then we're interrupted by Boba Fett "She still alive?"
"You can get out!" Calrissian snaps at him and immediately my hand is on my blaster as he appears in the doorway too calm for my liking.
"In the purge she suffered chemical burns to the insides of her lungs and crush wounds," Fett reveals whilst I stand there ashamedly ignorant of this information, knowing none of it aside from the effects of torture. "She suffocated and I had to restart her heart manually before I could get her help, you'll want to keep an eye on her vitals."
"Noted," the doctor says and hesitantly looks between the three of us before asking "Now before we can do a full body scan I need to ask if there is any chance she could be pregnant."
I freeze beneath my armour, utterly still at the possibility that has not occurred to me before now. I don't know how many times I've been inside her in these past weeks, countless, almost every chance we've gotten away from the kid and everytime I was always as deep inside of her as I could have been when I finished. She never mentioned any protection and I never asked despite knowing I should have, perhaps selfishly wanting the consequences of such an act to happen and silently hoping so did she as she always wrapped her legs tight and held me inside of her after we'd both finished.
Now after everything I've learned, that she was once with child... there are so many things we never discussed that we should have, so many things I never knew.
Finally I stammer "Yes- she could be."
Boba Fett stays wisely silent, that is until Calrissian awkwardly steps in and says "She has a birth control chip, it shouldn't be expired."
He doesn't look at me and I don't want him to, having tried to forget what I heard in the cockpit when she spoke to Solo after the attack on Tatooine. I was stressed over Fett coming after us when I'd heard Solo telling her they should let off some steam together, I certainly saw the panic that took hold of her and then the frustration when I asked if I'd have to worry about this one coming after us as well after she took off to hunt Fett down in the night.
She told me the truth about Calrissian with little emotion other than guilt, that he wanted to marry her and she ran away. Something that hadn't surprised me after that night. Although I was more than surprised to see him when I met her family, but quickly realised if she deems him family that is something I have to accept.
And as far as I'm concerned right now he isn't the one I need to worry about.
"Well I'll be damned," Fett says and realise Calrissian can't look at him either. "She let you fuck her after what you did?"
I'm caught off guard, trying to keep an eye on Kyra in the tank to see if she's making any visible improvements, but those words certainly draw me back into the conversation.
"What I did was nothing compared to what you did," Calrissian says but that sparks enough alarm in me that my hand is on my blaster.
"What you did?" I repeat and Calrissian's eyes are on the floor, guilt written across his face.
"Ah, you don't know," Fett says, almost amused.
"I know what you did," I counter and draw my blaster on Fett, Calrissian quickly drawing his own as well. "I know you're the one who betrayed her."
"I couldn't have done anything if Calrissian hadn't betrayed Solo and the others first by inviting Vader into the city to ambush them."
I keep my blaster hand still as Calrissian replies "I never invited him, and if I recall you were the one by his side as they laid siege to the city."
"But not before you'd told Solo they were safe here," Fett argues. "She would have never stepped foot in this city if you hadn't betrayed your old friend first."
"I was there that day Fett, I heard her screaming for you to kill her after you turned her over," Calrissian says, repeating what I know from Kyra to be true. "Don't act innocent."
"Oh I know I'm not innocent," Fett replies. "But neither are you."
"Enough," I say sharply, not having the patience for any more of this and tell Calrissian "Moff Gideon took the child and I need to find a lead. He had to take Kyra out with a missile to stop her from cutting through his troopers and I'll need her with me. How soon will she be awake?"
His face falls and he tells me "I'm sorry, I know what that child means to both of you." He looks at Kyra before saying "I don't know how long it will take, but you got her here in time to save her life that's what matters. As for the kid I'll call in the cavalry and we'll make a plan."
I give a single nod, it will have to be enough for now. It has to be enough to keep me from losing my mind. She trusts her family, and I have to trust they won't let any harm come to her child.
"You should leave," I tell Fett and Calrissian points his blaster at him. "Or she won't be the one to kill you."
"Her and I have business," Fett replies and looks at me as he says "I'd say find me when she wakes but I have no doubt she'll do that herself."
He leaves and Calrissian and I stand there, the doctor stands in the corner of the room with her head down going over the vitals and organising the medical droid to run tests.
"Fett's going to be a problem," I immediately say, not wanting to know what business he has planned.
"He always is," Calrissian warns. "I was there when she found out he was still alive, I broke the news to her and she went straight to Tatooine to kill him so why is he still alive?"
A good question, one I don't want to answer.
"I've learned she likes to draw these things out," I tell myself, I'd settle for watching her torture him over the alternative.
"You going to kill him?" he asks and I have no doubt he wants to almost as much as I do.
"He tries anything I'll take care of it," I answer, my finger itching over the trigger, the only thing stopping me is Kyra. It's her blood to spill not mine, no matter how badly I want to.
But what is truly stopping me as much as it makes me want to kill him where he stands is the thought she doesn't want him dead. That somehow she still loves him.
I'd suspected it from the start when I knew she'd come to Tatooine to kill the man that armour belonged to, with every piece of information she revealed I'd suspected it but it wasn't until that night after the attack when I woke to find her gone I realised it went far deeper than I could have known.
Unfortunately something tells me I'm about to find out just how deep.
~
Hours later I'm sitting there alone, the doctor out running the test results and from what I can gather she's confused as well as concerned. She should be dead, but after spending this much time with the kid I know these are things no scientist or doctor could understand let alone explain.
All I can do is guard her body as she rests before me suspended in the tank, as unresponsive as she was when I brought her in despite the doctor assuring me her vitals are growing stronger.
Despite knowing she will live nothing has ever felt so dark.
The kid is still gone and nothing will feel real until I have them both in my arms, until I can kiss her and do the one thing I thought I'd have more time to do.
I won't make that mistake again
Calrissian's called Solo to Cloud City since he's in the outer rims, if she's still unconscious by tomorrow morning I can rely on him to get me to Navarro so I can put a team together to get the child back. Time is running out and I need to do it with or without her as much as the thought terrifies me.
I want to keep her safe, I don't want to put her in the field if she isn't able to fight, but she's the best fighter I've got. She was able to cut through those battle droid looking troopers with her lightsaber when our blasters could barely take out the Death Troopers. If we face the ones who took the child I doubt blasters will do the job.
I'd dreamed of seeing her in beskar and it was as much of a sight as I'd imagined it to be if not more, having never seen armour in such a design before but considering her fighting style it makes sense. Seeing her wearing a helmet made me want to get down on my knees as much as I'd anticipated it could.
I just never thought it would be on my knees screaming her name in vain.
I eye her saber sitting beside her armour and take it, having only held it to give it back to her and study the mechanics of it, wisely pointing it away from myself as I activate the ignition and the yellow blade ignites. It's lightweight, making a sound as I move it through the air, easy enough to maneuver so simply but nothing like how I've seen her move it. I can't imagine the years of training required for her to be able to wield it how she does with such deadly precision and mastery.
I disengage it as Calrissian enters the room telling me what I already know "She should be dead but she isn't and the doctors can't explain it."
I find myself repeating Fett's words "She's hard to kill."
"She is," he says and begins "Her and I... that had finished a long time ago, years ago, I only knew about the chip because we'd slept together a few times since then but that was over well before you two met."
While it's assuring to know she isn't still sleeping with him I don't care about that, not now. Now when she isn't in my arms and someone else is waiting for her to wake up.
"How much as she told you about Boba Fett?" he asks me, going where I didn't want to.
"Enough," I answer. She had told me everything important, except for one detail that I've gathered she'd convinced herself wasn't real, or at least tried to force from her memory. "She was pregnant when he betrayed her?"
He gives a stiff nod and lowers his voice "The empire had already garrisoned the city when she arrived. I saw him give her to Vader, saw her screaming for him to kill her and I saw the aftermath." He shakes his head, unable to look at her. "Leia and I found her in the cell after Han was taken away, we'd heard her screaming and trying to break out, there was blood all over the floor and she kept saying to Leia she didn't know."
I feel sick knowing now the true extent of what the Empire did to her and understand now why she's so fiercely sought to protect the child by any means necessary. I now understand her vengeful streak towards the Empire and know when she wakes I'll be by her side as she takes it.
"In all these years we never spoke of it, I think part of her had blocked it out completely," he says, confirming my suspicions. "I never knew her before that day, I only knew who she was after that but Leia told me she was never the same as what she had been before. Leia was the only one who'd known her before the Death Star. I loved her, but I wondered what she would have been like if not for the Empire."
"She told me you bought her a ring," I say and he nods in confirmation and that dark paranoia in the back of my mind from that night she ran haunts me. "She told me Boba Fett was what caused her to run."
"It seemed like it should have worked her and I, but it didn't. I loved her in one way but in these past years it's been in another, as family," he confides in me, not hiding his care for her. "I would have married her but I was never what she wanted or what she needed. Boba Fett was what she wanted and in her own twisted way she still loved him after she struck him down. That was until you and the kid came along." I still at hearing those words from a man who once loved her, words that couldn't be more different from Fetts. "You're what she needs and I know you're what she wants."
"And I need her," I say and it's then I catch movement out of the corner of my eye from the tank. "Kyra?"
We both stand and what was a movement of her fingers quickly turns into kicking and thrashing as she tries to free herself and I'm yelling "Help me get her out!"
~
Kyra
I stood in the ashes of Mandalore after having escaped Vaders ship. My aunt, the last of my blood, turned her back on me and left me there on my knees.
The world was dead, and so was I.
Cold tears ran down my cheeks beneath the beskar of my helmet. There was not a thought in my mind, only the crushing weight of the darkness. Vader had felt it too as he twisted my mind. Death would have been more merciful, but he would not let me die. No. He wanted to turn me, to make me his apprentice in his final act of vengeance against my father.
Everything was still, a wasteland of the life I'd once had and the girl I'd been.
Vader would come for me again, he was likely already on his way.
For the first time I believed if he finished what he started I would fall to the darkness. That despite my fathers counsel on the strength of those who resist the darkside I was no longer that strong anymore.
And so I slowly removed my helmet in the ultimate act of defiance against the Empire, against Vader. I would not die at his hands like my parents did.
The air was toxic, that much I knew with the first breath and I raised my gauntlet to record one final message knowing Leia would find me. Knowing she was the only person in the galaxy who would understand why I did it.
"Leia," I said, hearing the rawness of my own voice. "I survived the bombings but Mandalore is glass and ashes. There is nothing left." I knew it would break her heart, but she would understand. "Vader won't kill me, he won't stop until I turn and become a monster." My voice broke "I will not let him touch me again." The tears came and I whispered "I love you, and I'm sorry, but I can't let him make me into what he is. I can't live knowing my people are dead because of me. I can't." My voice was a mere whisper, feeling as if I'd broken the sacred vow between us two princesses after watching her survive her own planets destruction and Vaders torture, something I could not do. "I'm so sorry."
I wasn't afraid as I left my helmet in the open so they'd know where I was buried and stepped inside the ruins of the palace, it and I both barely standing. With each step forward I heard my fathers voice telling me to turn around and go to Luke and Leia and that was the first time I cut myself off from the force so all I would hear was silence as I got down on my knees and raised my hands to bring the palace down upon me, channelling the force for long enough I could hear my fathers voice in that final moment.
In the darkness my life flashed before my eyes from the start to an end I'd never seen before and the rubble crushed me, my chest feeling as if it would collapse from its weight and my lungs burned from the inside out. I was all but gone from the world when I heard a ship circling above and then a voice screaming my name as the darkness closed in on me.
"Kyra!"
In my slow death as the last bits of consciousness slipped I fought one final time at the sound of his voice and gasped out with ashes in my burning lungs, choking on the chemicals that replaced any oxygen left in the atmosphere, everything pure agony as I tried to dig myself out of the ruins.
"Kyra!"
But it was not the voice I remembered. No. It's his.
"Din!" I scream finding the strength to truly fight this time. This time my limp body won't be dug out of the ruins as I barely cling to life, this time my hand breaks through the rubble and reaches for his. "Din!"
"I've got you," he says as he grasps my hand, pulling me from the darkness. "You're safe."
I'm gasping for air as I come to, finding myself weighed down until I'm pulled free, my body falling against hard familiar beskar. "I've got you, I've got you cyar'ika."
"Din?" I gasp out and cling to him as he clutches me in his arms, dripping and shaking with no comprehension of where I am, only that I'm with him. That I'm safe. "Din."
He cradles my head, his own hands shaking as he pulls a blanket around me and I look up at him, hardly hearing Lando leaving the room yelling for someone to contact Leia until the door slams shut and I don't understand the fear, the pure devastation that consumes him.
"Din?" I whisper, my head spinning as I try to make sense of where I am and what's happened, but I don't even have a moment to think before he's pulled his helmet off and his lips are on mine, hard and desperate as I taste tears.
I'm frozen in bewilderment until he pulls away and orders "Open your eyes."
The request leaves me shaking my head, knowing something isn't right. "What-"
"Please," he whispers so heartbreakingly that I have no choice but to obey and my eyes open to look upon his face for the first time, finding beautiful brown tearful eyes and reach for his face wondering if this too is a dream. "Cyar'ika."
In my dreams he'd smile not weep, and I'm too overwhelmed by his own agony to truly take him in as he deserves to be. In my dreams I'd kiss him and tell him he's beautiful and mine and that I adore him. But in this moment all I feel is fear.
In this moment nothing feels real.
"Din?" I breathe, trembling as I search his eyes and my heart stops knowing only one thing could do this to him. "Where's Grogu?"
He shakes his head and pulls me to him, hand buried in my hair with my face pressed into the beskar of his chest as he quakes "He's gone, they took him."
Those words all but convince me this is a nightmare and suddenly I'm ten years old again, screaming as I was stolen from outside the palace walls of Mandalore except this time I'm feeling my own fathers horror at his child being taken from him.
Pure devastation washes over me as he clutches me tight and my shaking hands come to touch his beskar and yet I feel nothing as my fingertips run over what should be cold and know this can't be real.
But with the sound of a ship flying past it comes back to me in flashes.
Slave I.
Boba.
The child.
The Empire.
The missile.
My body jolts as I step out of Din's embrace, hyperventilating while I search for my saber, my armour, until I find them both nearby.
"Kyra," I hear Din say but the words echo around me, nothing is real. Not him, not me, nothing. Nothing but the cold rage that overcomes me. "My love."
"No," I whisper, my trembling hands moving to arm myself. "No-"
"We're going to get him back," he tells me as I struggle to even hold my armour with the feeling in my hands all but gone. "Cyar'ika-"
He turns me back to him and I look upon his face with cold tears running down my cheeks and he takes my hands in his, bringing them to his lips as I stand there a trembling mess, unable to remember how I got here. Unable to remember anything but flashes.
"We're getting him back," I grit out, looking into the eyes of the man I love as I swear to him "We're taking our son back, now help me with my armour."
He does, but not before kissing my forehead, the weight of what he's done unable to truly sink into either of us in this state and I pull his lips to mine, tasting his tears and mine both before the sound of footsteps has him pulling his helmet back on and helping me dress myself in my armour.
He's pulling my sleeves up and securing my weapons belt when I sense Lando and blink in confusion, it's only then as I truly look around I realise where I am.
Cloud City. Din must have brought me here knowing I'd be safe with Lando.
"Are you alright?" he asks me as he rushes in, speaking too fast for me to comprehend. "Leia knows you're here and the Falcon's just arrived." Still I struggle to comprehend the words being spoken to me until he says "Boba Fett is still here."
Boba.
Still all I remember are flashes, guns blazing and threats made until one sticks.
Summary: Satine and Obi-wan’s daughter fought in the war against the Empire and lost her faith when she lost Mandalore. Until she found him. A lone Mandalorian searching for a Jedi.
Warnings: lil smut, fluff, parent things, not much warnings but she meets Ahsoka and it gets angsty, next few chapters will be intense
Word Count: 7.5k
A/N: next chapter is boba time and so so so sorry its been so long
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~
Din's hand is in mine as we fly back to Chandrila and I'm heavy with contemplation at what comes next. We have Moff Gideon to deal with, but I need to find someone who can help me in keeping him safe, who knows more than I do, and Yoda was hardly a help.
I need to find Ahsoka, in truth I don't know how Bo-Katan has managed to keep tabs on her but she has enough to know where she is. All those years through the rebellion we never met, it was as if she'd all but disappeared and has now emerged again. I'd known others, having briefly met Kanan and Ezra when Leia and I undertook a mission on Lothal and through Hera and Sabine I'd learned of their connection with her but in the chaos of war I'd never been able to find her, almost as if she never wanted to be found.
It frustrates me in those early years before the Death Star I couldn't have done more on the front lines like she did, but for the sake of Mandalore I had to operate with the same discretion as Leia had, and when it came to working with the few remaining Jedi I knew of... I couldn't give the Empire any further reasons to suspect me of being one either.
"You alright?" Din asks, noticing my quietness.
"Just thinking," I tell him. "We have Moff Gideon to deal with and I want the child to be safe and I need to know how we can train him to give him the best chance possible." In the back of my mind I debate leaving him with Luke when our journey inevitably takes us back into the moff's path, Luke has become a great Jedi but neither of us are prepared to train an individual like Grogu alone, or even Ben yet for that matter. Which is why I need someone who knew Anakin Skywalker, someone who knew an individual as powerful as they have the potential to be. "We'll get the kid and go to Ahsoka first."
He nods, trusting me. "Alright."
He heard me when I told Yoda in no uncertain words that I would marry him, he hasn't acknowledged them but I've felt something change in him since, as if he's suddenly at ease.
"It will buy us enough time for me to check with my contacts," I tell him. "Find out where Moff Gideon is and the type of strength he's got. From what we saw on Tatooine this isn't something we can handle alone which means we need to get the advantage over him in knowing what we're facing and having plans in place."
"Yes general," he says and squeezes my hand, easing me now as he tilts his helmet towards me. "Whatever the plan is, I'm behind you."
"I know," I say with a smile but say the words that have been playing on my mind. "I have officially ceded Mandalore and myself from the New Republic, of course since it was destroyed it was never officially made part of it but by association it's survivors were, the same as Alderaan. Now that politically and diplomatically all Mandalorians are under my authority not the Republics it gives us some diplomatic immunity to do whatever we need to do to kill Gideon without breaking the Galactic Concordance."
He nods along and asks "If you don't have access to the Republic's military we'll have to look to other Mandalorians for help."
Those words certainly do not comfort me and I tell him "Let's just make sure Grogu is safe and then we'll deal with Gideon." He nods again and I continue. "That also means as long as you don't break the Republic's laws I can protect you."
"So if I killed someone-"
"The Republic can still arrest you," I tell him, knowing that would be pushing it. "It means I can handle your ship being a million years old and illegal but not breaking into Republic prisons."
"That was one time," he says but pauses before adding. "I think."
"Mmm," I say and ask "Any other crimes I should know about just in case?"
"None the Republic know about," he answers but goes silent before adding "I used to be a different person. I did bad things, I ran with some bad people, I wish I could say I didn't do some of those things willingly but I did, I- " he hesitates "Alzoc III, that was when it all changed."
"Alzoc III," I repeat, having some idea of the things that happened on that planet during the war but don't let anything cross my face. "What side were you hired to fight on?"
"The wrong one," he answers and I give a stiff nod, having expected it. "I left a member of the crew behind, he got locked up and the crew hired me again some months ago to get him out. His sister was crazy and..." he trails off and shakes his head in a way I recognise far too well. "I was a different man and made some regrettable decisions-"
He doesn't need to elaborate for me to get it and so I ask "Which was the regrettable decision, fucking her or how you left her?"
"Both," he sighs while I could almost laugh, glad I'm not the only one with romantic regrets and from the pure revulsion I feel from him I know there is no need for any jealousy. "They betrayed me on the mission to rescue him so I left them there for the Republic to deal with."
"Look at that, you are the good guy," I say, able to sense his guilt and tease to lighten his own tension. "And it's good to know I'm not the only one with a messed up ex lover."
"Oh you aren't," he assures me but he's anxious as he tells me "And you aren't the only one with a past-"
"And we'll face both of ours together," I promise him and squeeze his hand. "Your past doesn't scare me Din."
"And neither does yours," he quickly says. "But you're a good person, you're a hero, I've never been a hero."
"I love you Din Djarin," I tell him, knowing he is a hero. "I knew when I met you what you are, but I also knew that very same moment that you're a good man, a good man who's done bad things but regardless of his past chooses to be good to save others. That ner cyare, is a hero."
I feel him draw a breath at those words and he takes my face in his hands "And I love you because you make me believe it." It's as I lean in to press a kiss to his helmet his voice breaks. "I love you so much."
I'm wearing a lovestruck smile as I touch my forehead to his "And to think, if you hadn't shown up on Tatooine..." he tugs me by the waist from my chair into his lap as we enter the atmosphere of Chandrila and I remind him "We can also get arrested for having sex in my cockpit in view of the horrified inhabitants of the city."
He chuckles "It would be worth it."
And that is certainly one unexpected benefit to this new relationship of ours, the incredible mind altering sex that's already left my body sore in the sweetest way and I hold him tight in my arms, that being the one thing better than the sex. Being able to hold him and be held by a man who truly loves me, one I trust completely.
The city comes into view and I climb off his lap to fly us to my apartment, thankfully fitted with its own helepad and when we enter we find Luke training Grogu, or rather trying and failing to get the child to focus during meditation. A lost cause.
The child's eyes immediately spring open and he waddles over to us.
"We're home," I smile at the Child. "We're home Grogu."
His eyes widen at the sound of his name and he makes a surprised exclamation and much to my own surprise he leaps from the floor into my arms and I catch him, exclaiming "Look who's learned to jump!" He makes a happy sound and I smile over at Din, for just a moment wonder what it could be like to hold another child in my arms. One I grew in my own stomach to be a sibling for Grogu.
But first it is past time we saw Ahsoka, one of the last survivors of the Jedi and then we'll have a war to fight I suspect, and I need to be in fighting shape when we have Moff Gideon to kill.
For a moment I remember back to all the lengths my parents took to hide me from the Empire, training me to fight while still letting me be a child, and I know I'll be reliving that history with Grogu.
"Cyare," I say, passing Grogu to Din while Luke watches with a close lipped smile. "Take him while I talk jedi business."
He nods and happily takes Grogu away, chiming his name in awe and Luke asks me "So, you learned his name?"
"We learned his name," I tell him and then the more scandalous news. "He is Yoda's kid."
"What!" he exclaims. "How?"
"Procreation permitted for survival of species," I say and watch the disturbed look that comes to his face. "I don't want that image either but he is Yoda's."
He feels the utter rage I still harbour and gathers "So you spoke with Yoda?" I give a stiff nod. "What did you say."
"Many things," I sigh. "Grogu was his child and despite all those years on Dagobah Yoda never once searched for him." Luke grimaces. "You can imagine that I let him have it."
"Oh I can imagine," he says and asks "So now you'll seek out Ahsoka?"
All we know of her comes from those who knew her, stories Bo-Katan told me as a teenager after she encountered her again during the early days of the rebellion by chance and the very little my father could bring himself to say when he discovered through Bo that she was still alive. Although through the survivors of Spectre Cell I did learn more, namely Hera and Sabine who I worked closely with during the war and in the aftermath.
I nod again, lost for what steps to take next, with Mandalore, with the Empire, but this one is clear. "We won't be safe until Gideon's dead and gone and Grogu needs all the help he can get."
"Find her," he says and hesitates for a moment before asking me "When you do, tell her I would like to meet her. To know someone who knew my father before he was Vader."
I nod and promise him "I can do that."
"Thank you," he says thickly and I know despite all his preaching about the code this is one attachment he still struggles with, his father.
And yet nowhere near as much as Leia.
"It would do Leia good as well," I say and he's hesitant at the thought of approaching the subject of their father with her. "It's my understanding Ahsoka was the closest thing to a daughter either of our fathers had before we came along, I think all of us could benefit from speaking to her."
He nods and agrees "So do I."
We give each other a smile and hear Din in Grogu's room talking to him.
"We know your name now kid," I hear Din telling him. "Grogu huh? I like that."
Luke sees me listening with adoration filled eyes and tells me "You've picked a good one this time."
"Yes," I agree proudly. "I really have."
"Everyone loves him," he tells me and I realised they must have had a meeting after dinner to ensure me bringing a bounty hunter home isn't a stroke of madness. "He's different that's for sure."
"He is," I say and tell Luke "I love him more than I ever loved Boba, I trust him completely."
"But are you coping with the fact Boba Fett's still out there?" he asks me, wanting to make sure I won't go on another mad hunt for him.
"I am," I tell him, surprised by that fact. "I have Din and Grogu, everything else feels so small in comparison. My past, all of it. All I care about now is keeping them safe."
"And what then?" It takes me a moment to realise what he's referring to. "Mandalore?"
"I got up on that stage in front of those holocameras and declared myself Duchess of Mandalore," I say heavily. "There may not be a Mandalore left but there are Mandalorians. I can't call myself Duchess, I can't call myself what my mother did, if I don't fight just as hard for them."
My fathers legacy is one I easily took up, is one I easily returned to, but my mothers... that is the one that is the hardest to face.
"I know you will," he promises me, having seen me through the purge. "You fought harder than anyone else ever could have, just because you lost Mandalore doesn't mean it can't be reclaimed."
I nod slowly in contemplation and tell him "Thank you."
It's then Din comes out with the kid and asks Luke "Did you teach him to jump like that?"
Luke's almost amused as he answers "I did."
Din looks at the kid as he leaps into my arms, a proud father. "Good job Grogu!"
The kid smiles and Luke and I both share a look, easily forgetting how something so normal to us fills people like Din with such awe.
"You ready to head to Corvus?" I ask him ready to keep moving, ready to finally meet Ahsoka Tano.
~
After a quick detour to Tatooine to pick up the Razor Crest before the Jawa's decide to take it apart we are on our way to Corvus.
I sit back and observe as Din dotes on Grogu, a true father, and for once I'm the one to make us food while he's distracted. Almost glad for some domestic life to drown out all the blazing uncertainty of what comes after this.
"Come on," I say lifting Grogu up after he's eaten and Din comes down below deck with me to put the kid to bed despite wanting to stay up. "No, you need to sleep."
Grogu protests I put him in his spot in the sleeping compartment while Din stands back with his arms crossed over his chest "Huh?"
"What is it?" I ask as he tilts his head inside the compartment.
"I'll have to make some adjustments," he says and looks around the ship. "I can convert one of the storage holds into a space for the kid and widen the sleeping compartment to set up a bigger cot for the both of us."
His thoughtfulness warms me deeply enough I almost become emotional. "I'd like that."
"Do you know who does Solo's renovations on the Falcon?" he asks me and I raise my eyebrows in surprise as he tells me "He said he renovated part of it into a kitchenette for his wife, not that she was too happy with that."
I laugh at that, remembering Han's poorly thought out marriage present for Leia, a kitchenette on board the Falcon. Well intended, but not quite fully thought out considering how Leia took it. "No she was not, but it's sweet the two of you are fast friends."
"I wouldn't say that-"
"Din, sweetheart," I chuckle. "I am happy you get along so well with my family and you and Han do have lots in common."
He's confused. "How so?"
"Well, you're two people who had less than legitimate careers, flying around in antique ships until you happened across two force sensitive princesses and now have force sensitive kids," I tell him, knowing Leia and I have indeed found it quite amusing. "And I'd say it would be Peli on Tatooine although she may have questions since the last time she saw us we were pulling guns on each other and now we're asking her to widen the sleeping compartment."
"Well," he says holding me by the waist. "I want to make this feel like home for you."
I smile up at him and wrap my arms around him as I promise him "You feel like home."
He tugs me in closer, helmet tilting down as he says "Maybe we should have left the kid in the cockpit considering the cots the only place dark enough I can kiss you."
I raise an eyebrow. "There's other ways."
He takes my hand and pulls me back up into the cockpit where it's harder for the kid to escape his bed and walk in on us, we don't want to traumatise the kid more than he already is. When we reach the cockpit he sits down against the wall of it and pulls me into his lap, my fingertips running over the beskar of his chestplate as he brushes the hair back from my face. We've had each other enough times by now there should be no nervousness, but this isn't sex. This is something far more intimate than sex could ever be when he lays himself out so vulnerably, the ultimate expression of his trust in me.
I hear the breath he releases as I kiss the inside of his wrist, lips lingering over his pounding pulse and he breathes "Close your eyes." But it's not his helmet he moves for, it's the fabric belt holding my tunic together and I smile as I realise what he's doing. Gently I feel the fabric come to cover my eyes and he asks "Is this alright?"
"Yes," I smile for him, so he can see it, feel it, and he ties the belt at the back of my head leaving me in darkness, leaving me free of one sense to feel others so much more intensely. "Now can I kiss you?"
I hear the thud of his helmet on the ground and the next moment his lips are on mine. Gentle, unsure, still getting used to the sensation. I take his face in my hands and hear the sharp breath he draws at the touch, feel the stumble beneath my fingers and kiss him slowly, wanting to love him how he's never been loved.
"Are you alright?" I ask him gently and I feel his breath as he huffs a short but uneasy laugh.
"Very."
Sex is easy, sex is about pleasure, but this- this is trust in its purest form, bending his code as far as he'll allow himself all so he can give himself to me in the most intimate way he can.
"Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum," I tell him, I love you, I will know you forever. "Ner karta"
He kisses me before repeating the words back to me "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum."
And even now I can feel his lips I bring his forehead to mine, finding a peace in him I've never known before.
~
By the time Corvus comes into view I've been in his arms for hours, soaking in the pure bliss of him, but the moment we land it is pure business as we quickly realise something is not right on this planet.
We walk through the dead forest, saturated with darkness, until we reach the walls of a city.
I keep my head down with a veil wrapped around it, knowing my face would be recognised by whatever clearly ex-imperial operation they have here. From the pain I feel inside those city walls it is no wonder Ahsoka is here.
A guard atop the wall greets us "State your business."
"We've been tracking for a few days," Din says, finding it safer to let him talk and to keep silent, inconspicious. "Looking for a layover."
"Nice armour," the man says. "You a hunter then?"
Din nods. "That's right."
"Guild?"
"Last I checked."
The corner of my lip turns up.
"And her?"
"My wife," Din says with a hand on my back and I keep my head down, smiling to myself beneath the veil at just how much I like how those words sound.
It must be good enough for them. "Open the gate."
We walk in trying not to attract attention, but that's hard with Din, the big silver Mandalorian in a place as grim as this. There's armed men with rifles on the rooftops, which says enough about the sort of place we've stepped into.
"Be careful," I warn Din, able to feel a true darkness here, and take the bag with the child in from him to hold him close incase he finds himself needing quick access to his blaster.
He gives a silent nod and I walk beside him as he discreetly tries to question the townspeople with little avail until a man finally tells us. "Please, do not speak to them, or to any of us."
I raise a hand to quiet Din but it's too late as two armed guards stand behind us.
"The Magistrate wants to see you."
Din looks to me and I give a nod to keep walking, and as we're taken to the magistrate we pass people strapped to shock poles. Something tells me Din and I won't be leaving this settlement without a fight.
We're taken inside to the magistrate, a peaceful looking woman draped in robes with grey streaking her hair, but the energy I feel from her is anything but peaceful. My head tilts slightly as I find familiarity in her face, unable to put a name to it but knowing very well she is Imperial.
It's a strange thing, looking at a person you know will die very soon, likely by your own hand, but it is a feeling I have become quite accustomed to.
She instructs us to come forward and so we do.
"You're a Mandalorian?"
"Yes."
"And who are you?" she asks me and I feel a sharp protectiveness from Din.
I keep my head down, playing the obediently quiet woman. "His wife."
"That was not what I asked," she says and asks me one more time. "Who are you?"
"Tala, a native of Tatooine," I tell her, not elaborating and she doesn't ask further but still keeps an eye on me and I on her, indeed finding her face familiar. Although I am unable to place it, everything about her and this town indeed confirms to me this is an Imperial operation run by another officer scraping the bottom of the barrel for some control over another unfortunate population.
"I have a proposition that may interest you, Mandalorian."
"My price is high," Din replies, wanting to get straight to finding Ahsoka as much as I do, wondering if coming to this town was a mistake.
"This target is priceless," she says, piquing our interest. "A Jedi plagues me."
Perhaps not a mistake after all.
"That's a difficult task," Din says.
"But one my husband will do for the right price," I intervene, wanting to know where Ahsoka is.
"The Jedi are the ancient enemy of Mandalore," she says and I can feel Din's eyes on me. "But you would know this."
An Imperial who knows more of the Jedi than most.
"Like I said, my price is high."
And so she brings forward a spear, one I immediately realise is pure Beskar.
"What do you make of this?"
Din steps forward to examine it, coming to the same conclusion as I do.
"Kill the Jedi, and it is yours," she promises, reeking of the Empire and I know I'll enjoy killing her.
"Where do I find this Jedi?" Din asks upon returning it to her.
~
We walk back through the town, silent as we are escorted out while I'm formulating plans for liberating the town and killing the Imperials. But first we must find Ahsoka.
But just as we pass through the walls the man escorting us says to Din "You should leave your woman here. We'll take good care of her."
Again I feel that sharp protectiveness but something far more primal than before as he roughly reaches for my waist so he doesn't reach for a blaster and it takes him a moment to calm himself enough before saying "She comes with me."
But the men exchange a glance before trying their luck "Are you-"
I immediately take Din's hand before he can reach a weapon and he leaves no room for argument as he repeats "She comes with me." The men certainly do not try to argue, it's not until we are out of ear shot he finally speaks "When can I kill them?"
"Soon," I promise him. "You get to kill them and I get to kill the magistrate."
He nods and asks me "Imperials?"
"Yes," I answer. "We aren't leaving until the town is liberated."
"Wasn't planning on it," he assures me as we venture deeper into the wasteland of a forest and I remove my veil and put it into the bag holding Grogu before passing him back to Din as I feel a presence. "What is it?"
And it's only a moment later when a blur jumps down upon us and my saber meets hers. The sight of another Jedi is enough to throw her off her attack and I look into the shocked eyes of Ahsoka Tano.
"Ahsoka, my name is Kyra," I tell her, but she still does not trust me. "Kyra Kenobi."
She lowers her sabers, eyeing me in disbelief. "Kenobi?" There's a sadness in her eye as she says "You're Obi-Wan's daughter." She withdraws her sabers and takes me in with a sadness before remarking "You take after him." She looks past me to Grogu and sighs in realisation. "Bo-Katan told you where I was, didn't she?"
Bo-Katan was the one who found Ahsoka during the rebellion, who told my father of her survival before Bail ever dared tell him that Ahsoka worked for the rebellion. I know my father looked for her but he was never able to find her before he was killed. There was always a sadness in his eye at the mention of her, he told me she was the padawan of Anakin Skywalker and the rest I pieced together after the war.
"My father looked for you before the war," I tell her and she blinks at me in surprise, and almost pain. "I don't know how Bo-Katan found you but I know who you are and I need your help. This child needs your help."
"You know who I was," she corrects and steps past me towards Din, looking at Grogu in his arms and back to me. "I heard about all you did during the war from mutual friends of ours, how you fought for Mandalore as a Mandalorian, I'd assumed you'd given up the Jedi way."
"My father did, and so did I for a long time," I confess to her. "But this child has come into my care and he needs me because the Empire- or what's left of them- they won't give up looking for him." She's hesitant and I continue "I know you fought the Inquisitors and Empire before the war broke out, and I know you and my father meant something to each other before the Empire took over so I am asking you to please help me. If not for him, or even for Bo-Katan, then because it is your duty to help this child."
"Your father was a second master to me," she tells me and quietly says "At the end we fought because of a decision the council had made, but he was better than the rest of them, and I am sorry for how he died. Bo-Katan, she told me he was killed by Vader."
"I saw it," I tell her, the wound after all these years still wide open. "I loved him more than anything and he died saving us, Anakin's children and I. He spent my entire life trying to right his wrongs, to take care of Anakin's children and myself." Her eyes sadden before they widen. "His children are good Ahsoka, they are everything he could have been."
"Children?" she asks and I still. "There is more than one?"
"Luke and Leia," I tell her and watch something in her eyes change at Leia's name. "Princess Leia Organa."
"Bail's daughter," she sighs in realisation. "I should have known." But it's then a horror dawns on her "Alderaan-"
"Vader tortured her and then made her watch," I say and she shuts her eyes in pain. "Her own father tortured her and destroyed everything she ever knew and loved. Luke may have forgiven him, but not Leia."
"Anakin," I hear her whisper, shaking her head and she laments. "I should have come searching for them, but I- I knew it would only put them in danger. It wasn't until I heard that Luke Skywalker blew up the death star I realised the truth. I was at their mothers funeral ... she still looked pregnant but it seems that was on purpose." Sadly she looks at me and says "Your mother was there as well, I felt she was pregnant but I could never have imagined Obi-Wan was the father. He always obeyed the code, but it seems even he wasn't perfect."
"He didn't know until after I was born my mother was pregnant," I say quietly. "He'd gone into hiding after Order 66. He took Luke to Anakin's step family on Tatooine and Leia... well Bail Organa adopted her. I'd known her and loved her as a sister since we were ten years old, we became family after our parents died, and yet I never knew the truth until the end of the war."
"Well," she says, finding a light in this. "I know your fathers and nothing would have made them happier to know that you're family."
"Leia has a son, named Ben after my father." I see something in her eyes, a remorse, guilt almost, that she was not there for it and look at Grogu in Din's arms. "Ahsoka we really need your help, and so do Luke and Leia. The Empire will stop at nothing to get their hands on my padawan, my foundling, and I just know they'll come for Ben as well."
She nods slowly and tells me "I'll see what I can do."
~
Din and I sit watching her as she gets into Grogu's head, convening with him in a way I haven't been able to. I'm watching with an understanding of what is happening, but Din is just confused.
He leans over to me and whispers "What is she doing?"
I hush him. "Be patient."
Finally she brings him back over to us, both of us noticing how Grogu seems to be speaking with her and realise how much may still be lacking in my own training.
"Do you understand him?" I ask her, able to connect with him on some level but it's been so long since I've been as deeply connected with the force as she is.
"In a way," she replies. "Grogu and I can feel each other's thoughts."
"We went to the temple on Coruscant, searching through the database for him and found he was Yoda's," I say and she seems scandalised, a little disturbed as well, but then surprised.
"You met Yoda, I thought he died during Order 66?"
"Luke and I went searching for him on my fathers advice," I tell her and smile at the memory. "As soon as he heard the names Kenobi and Skywalker he started swatting us off like insects with a stick."
The thought of that makes her laugh. "He would. Your father, Anakin and I, we were quite the disaster lineage. Anakin was my master but in a way he was more like a big brother, your father was the responsible one but even he wasn't immune to causing a little chaos."
"That does sound like him," I smile fondly. "He raised me first as his daughter, and second as a Jedi, mostly for my own protection. So when I learned Yoda just abandoned Grogu well- as it would seem Yoda's force ghost is still quite alive and it wasn't pretty for him."
"I don't doubt that," she tells me, understanding me in a way that's uncomfortable. "You have your mother's passion for justice, and your aunt's anger, but your father's strife of being left with a padawan who is unique and hunted in so many ways. He was left to raise a child with exceptional strength in the force, and it seems that legacy carries onto you now. Can he still wield the force?"
"Yes," I answer, looking at him. "When we try to get him to do it on command he's just like a child who wants to play, but the moment he or us are in danger his command of the force is unlike anything I've ever seen. It seems to come out most when he is afraid."
She nods. "That would make sense. He has had to survive for a long time, and hiding his abilities would have been a great part of that as you would know."
Din finally speaks. "I was tasked to bring him to a Jedi, and I found Kyra. Since then we've been running from Moff Gideon, trying to find someone who knows more about how to help him than we do. He needs your help."
Ahsoka's face is heavy as she contemplates this, before finally deciding. "Let him sleep, I'll test him in the morning."
~
Come morning I stand with Ahsoka, Din sits nearby listening, not having gotten much sleep. Stressing about Grogu being assessed despite reassuring him he'll be fine.
"So, you trained Anakin's children?" Ahsoka inquires.
"I trained Luke after my father was killed, I was just nineteen. Half the time I had no idea what I was doing, let alone if I was doing it right but somehow I didn't mess up as badly as I thought I would," I tell her and somehow I know as she looks upon me she sees my father and I wonder if he once said similar words about Anakain. "After the war I trained Leia, she was a better student than Luke much to his surprise. I suppose that while Luke was gentle she had a real fire in her, she had from the day I met her but she elected to go into politics."
"Just like her mother," she remembers, we have learned who Padmé Amidala was but know little of her. "They'd be so proud of them both." I smile to myself as she takes Grogu. "Let's see what knowledge is lurking inside that little mind."
Din's been letting me handle everything without having much to say, but I can feel that he's nervous as he comes to stand by my side.
"It's fine cyare," I promise him, squeezing his hand as Ahsoka walks away with Grogu and sets him down. "There's no need to worry."
We watch as Ahsoka floats a rock to Grogu and he happily catches it. "Now return the stone to me Grogu."
"He doesn't understand," Din says, still fretting.
"He does," Ahsoka and I both say and I tell Grogu. "It's okay, you can give her the stone, it's safe. Just like what you were doing with Uncle Luke."
He still whines a little and drops the stone, Din sighs like a dad watching his child being assessed at school and I give him a look to stop freaking out since it's only putting pressure on the kid.
Ahsoka tells Din "He's hidden his abilities to survive over the years as Kyra has, it will take some time for him to feel safe using them." She looks back at Grogu. "Let's try something else, come over here."
Din nods for Grogu to go but he doesn't move. "He's stubborn."
"Not him," Ahsoka says to Din. "You. I want to see if he'll listen to you."
I nod to Din to do what she says and he agrees but not without comment. "That would be a first."
"I like firsts," Ahsoka remarks. "Good or bad they're always memorable."
I watch in amusement as Din tries to get Grogu to take the stone and gets frustrated when he doesn't, throwing the stone aside. "See, I told you he was stubborn."
"Give him the ball," I tell Din, looking at his pocket. "You know how much he loves that ball."
Din sighs and pulls it out, holding it between his fingers. "Alright kid, one more time, take the ball. Come on, you can have it."
I'm smiling as Grogu uses the force to take the ball and Din erupts in celebration. "Good job! Good job kid!" Din walks over to Grogu, bending down in front of him. "That's right, I knew you could do it. Very good."
"He's formed a strong attachment to you," Ahsoka notes, although the emotions with that are hard to read. "To both of you. He sees you as his parents."
"We are," I say proudly. "I was raised by a Jedi and a Mandalorian. I don't see any reason why he can't be as well."
"Remember Kyra, you are the exception, not the rule," she warns and my body stiffens, having not been reprimanded for such a thing since Yoda. "I know better than anyone what attachment can do to a Jedi."
My voice is harsh. "Not anyone. I would know having been the victim of it too many times," I tell her and she feels it, the sharp pain those memories of loss and torture bring but I stand my ground. "But that is only when you let that attachment turn to fear, possession, anger. My parents loved me dearly, and I loved them. Yes losing them drove me half mad but not to the darkness, my father raised me better than that."
"He raised Anakin better than that as well," Ahsoka reminds me and I become defensive. "But look what love did to him. You have fought many battles but you are still young, do not think yourself and the child immune to it."
"Yes, love can be a cruel thing," I say knowing it well. "The closest I ever danced with the dark side was because of love and I left him for dead." I can't look at Din but Ahsoka can feel it, the anger of my mothers side buried within me. "But that was many years ago, I know where I stand with the force, the darkness does not tempt me and we will raise Grogu how my father and mother raised me."
"Then I wish you well," she decides, knowing this is a battle she cannot win. "But I cannot help you if this is the path you wish to take."
"What?" Din exclaims. "Why not?"
Ahsoka looks at me. "She knows why."
And so I speak up and remind him. "It is common Jedi belief that attachment is forbidden, any sort of love, familial, platonic or otherwise." There's a bite in my voice as I remember what Bo-Katan told me, the reason I came to Ahsoka. "But considering you turned your back on the Jedi Order I thought you would know better than that."
"And this is what I mean," she says approaching me. "There is anger in you, and fear in Grogu. And that fear can lead to-"
"Lead to what?" I ask her, that anger certainly surfacing. "He's a child, what can he do? There are no Sith for him to join, there's no Palpatine, just bad men who want to harvest his midichlorians for some sick experiment!" Din starts to step between us but I swat him away. "I came here because I thought you would know that the code isn't always right."
She crosses her arms over her chest "I do know that."
"I thought you would help us while leaving me to raise him and train him because I've trained both children of Anakin Skywalker, the two people who had every reason to turn to the darkside, and they turned out great!" My next words are crueller than I intend. "You didn't, you never even came looking for any of us once so don't lecture me on the darkside when I am trying to protect Grogu and Leia's son from it and you are just sitting here hiding like all the rest!"
She just nods, not wanting to fight with me and turns her back on us, walking away. "This was a mistake, you should leave and I should get back to the village."
I'm willing to let her but it's Din who calls out "The magistrate sent me to kill you." She stills and looks back at us. "I didn't agree to anything, and I'll help you with your problem if you just help us protect Grogu."
I avert my gaze, leaving this mess to Din and she agrees while I take Grogu and walk away, hearing Din giving her the briefing on the situation but I keep going until I can no longer hear them and hold Grogu in my arms.
"I won't fail you," I promise him. "Not like all the others did. My father, he taught me better than that."
I look at him, unable to believe this child could ever become what Vader did and kiss his little head as I hold him close, standing there like that until Din finds me.
"Are you ready to kill the magistrate?"
I give a single nod and ask "What's the plan?"
~
And so I play the bait, running in supposed fear to the city, putting on my best act.
"The Jedi! The Jedi's here!"
They let me in, sobbing with fake tears.
"Where is the Jedi!"
"Out there!" I gasp out and beg "Please let me see the magistrate, my husband- he's dead!"
They guide me through the town, bringing me straight to the magistrate while Ahsoka and Din wait to attack inside the city walls.
"Magistrate, the Mandalorian's wife."
They bring me in and leave me with her, just a few guards with us and I know this will be easy.
"Did she kill your husband?" she asks, feigning empathy.
"She told me something," I begin, my veil covering my face. "That you worked with the Empire to destroy and pillage worlds."
She stiffens. "Did she now?"
"My own world, was destroyed and pillaged by the Empire for its beskar." I pull back my veil and show my face to her. "Funny that you have the spoils of Mandalore's destruction right there in your hand, and a Jedi standing right in front of you."
She holds the spear tight, knowing who I am. "Kyra Kryze."
I ignite my saber and ask her "Tell me, do you still work with Moff Gideon?" She doesn't answer and I just laugh. "Oh it is funny, because while he's been trying to hunt us down here we are, and it only seems fair I leave him a little message."
Now she seems amused. "You're going to kill me?" It's then we hear the shooting start in the city and her eyes widen in realisation. "The Jedi and the Mandalorian-"
"The Jedi are the ancient enemy of Mandalore but it seems I'm both," I tell her, knowing she isn't walking out of here alive as the guards raise their blasters. "Fire away."
The blasters ring out only for me to deflect them right back at the guards, each of them falling to the ground. And that's when the duel begins.
And perhaps it is wrong the anger I channel with each swing, the grief with each manoeuvre, everything a Jedi should never do. But in its strength is my discipline with those emotions, wielding them as I wield the force, never letting it lose control, but using it with discipline and finally with releasing them when the Magistrate falls and I leave her breathing for Ahsoka to get whatever information she may need but she will never rise again.
And so as I emerge and lay eyes on Din and Ahsoka I raise the beskar spear.
Victorious.
~
As dawn rises we stand outside the city walls, listening to the celebration within. Din having reluctantly accepted the Beskar Spear as it will be of more use to him than me.
"I suppose you'll be leaving now," Ahsoka says and can feel the weight on her shoulders.
"We will be," I say, not prepared to leave yet. "We won't be safe however until Moff Gideon is dead."
"Perhaps there is something I can do to help you," she says and tells us. "Take Grogu to the planet Tython, there you will find the ancient ruins of a temple that has a strong connection to the force. Place Grogu on the seeing stop on the top of the mountain and from there you can gain a deeper understanding of him, and how to best raise him with the path he wishes to take."
I nod in respect. "Thank you Ahsoka." I'm about to leave but turn back to her. "Luke and Leia would like to meet you, to learn from someone who knew who their father was before Vader."
She's conflicted, but nods. "I will see what I can do." She steps forward and slowly raises a hand to my face and tells me "You look so much like him." She gives me a sad smile. "You have so much of his heart as well." Out of the corner I see Din taking Grogu to the ship and Ahsoka leans in to tell me. "Your father, he would like him."
I smile to myself. "He would."
Something in her softens as she says "And he would be proud of you, proud of the path you are taking."
I nod, suddenly emotional. "Thank you, Ahsoka."
I look forward towards the Razor Crest, to where Din stands waiting and holding Grogu in his arm, and know he would be.
But before I can leave she stops me "Wait." I look back and feel the pain before I see it as she asks "How did Vader really die?"
I stood there on the platform, the Emperor dead by Vaders hands. Luke knelt before his father, but all I could see when I looked at the man before me was Vader, not Anakin Skywalker.
"Luke, help me take this mask off."
Luke saw none of Vader, only his father.
"But you'll die."
"Nothing can stop that now."
It was then Vader looked at me, the daughter of his brother who he'd broken time and time again, who had taken her parents and home from her, who stood there to see his demise.
"When I see your father," he began, dying. "I'll beg his forgiveness for the things I have done."
It was not my fathers he would have to beg for.
"You'll be begging for mine and your daughters forgiveness until there is nothing but star dust left in galaxy."
And so I left Luke to mourn his father alone, for I had no forgiveness to give.
"He killed the Emperor," I tell her and watch her eyes widen. "But not without all but killing himself trying. Luke and I, we were there." I could tell her all the awful things he had done, to me, to Luke, to Leia, but instead I tell her as my father would have wanted. "He turned to the light before he died."
And yet those words only put her in further pain for she knows all he did and despite it all I don't know if she can truly forgive him either but when she meets Luke and Leia, she'll know he left some good in the galaxy.
But she is still a Jedi and looks upon me as she says "I am sorry for everything he took from you." She then treads carefully "I know the things Bo-Katan said to you after the purge, but she is the only family you have. Believe that when you have need of her, she will come."
I give a stiff nod and tell her "Just please, go to Luke and Leia. You will find him on Ossus. Luke has forgiven his father, but I dare say Anakin will have to beg for Leia's forgiveness until she joins him on the other side but... perhaps you could help her find peace."
She gives me a nod and says "I will try." She debates her next words. "The Magistrate, she worked with Grand Admiral Thrawn, it's why I came here."
I blink at her. "Thrawn disappeared years ago with..."
"Ezra Bridger," she finishes. "You were the same age as him yes?"
I give a stiff nod. "I had only met him along with Kana a handful of times during my work in the early years of the Rebellion but Sabine was my second in charge during the war so I've heard many stories."
"Then we may just call on you," she tells me and extends her hand to me. "May the force be with you Kyra Kenobi."
"And with you," I say and leave her to return to Din and Grogu, knowing now where our next destination is and yet... I feel a pit in my stomach at the thought of what may come.
Rhea Amidala meets Obi-Wan Kenobi when he and his master come to her younger sisters aid and he discovers the queen's sister was once a Jedi, expelled from the order for her unwillingness to forgo love and attachment. The two stranded together on Tatooine find common ground despite their differences, and above all a hope within the other for something greater than themselves.
Word count: 4.8k
Tags/warnings: invasion, attachment issues, some arguing over ideology, not many warnings for this chapter, family issues
A/N; Hey guys, this series is basically going to be a love letter to obi-wan kenobi, from episode I to his show, with Padme's older sister being that constant in his life. You all bet your asses we are gonna have two Jedi’s with healthy relationships with attachment who want to be together who get fucked over anyways.
~
~
~
32 BBY | The Phantom Menace
Every last instinct I have screams at me that something is terribly amiss, even if it's fallen on the deaf ears of my sisters council. She has the title and the ornaments that force them to listen, she is young and wise, in their eyes I am merely a failed Jedi whose council is void, and so I'm left to anxiously watch as she gives her address to the Trade Federation.
"Again you come before us, your highness."
"You will not be so pleased when you hear what I have to say, Viceroy. Your trade boycott of our planet has ended."
Her voice is deep and strong, it is still strange to me seeing her like this, a queen. She is far too grown up to be fourteen, but then again so was I at her age.
"I was not aware of such a failure."
"I have word that the chancellors ambassadors are with you now, and that you have been commanded to reach a settlement."
"I know nothing of any ambassadors," the Viceroy denies, a clear lie. "You must be mistaken."
"Beware viceroy," she warns. "The Federation has gone too far this time."
One thing I truly admire about my younger sister is her clear headedness. Her firm resolve without becoming emotional, something I lack despite my years of trying to master it.
"We would never do anything without the approval of the senate," he says and I could laugh, knowing what a mess all that has become. "You assume too much."
"We will see."
The address cuts off and she gives me a look, allowing me and only me to see her frustration. One of her first acts upon becoming queen was to name me as both her protector and her military advisor considering my involvement in intergalactic affairs whilst with the order, a new role for a new era of uncertainty, and the second was to change her name to protect our family. I had already changed mine long ago from Rhea Naberrie to Rhea Amidala, but while hers was to protect our family, mine was out of shame.
The great failure of our great family.
Oh how my mother looked at me in horror when Padme decided to change her name to the one I had chosen years before. The family pride and the family disgrace. The Amidala Sisters.
The great Queen, and the great scandal.
I sit by her side as we receive a hologram from Senator Palpatine, and further admire her brilliant patience, it's a shame the roles weren't reversed as she would have made an excellent Jedi. But I was the one with the midichlorian count much to the disappointment of our family.
"Negotiations haven't started because the ambassadors aren't there? How could that be true?" Palpatine asks us. "I have assurances from the chancellor his ambassadors did arrive."
"It's because it isn't true," I answer for my sister, having accompanied my own master on many such missions to know how they work. "The viceroy is conducting dirty business, he-" I stop as the connection becomes disrupted, the hologram distorting before disappearing.
"Senator Palpatine?" Padme asks and we share a confused look. "What's happening?"
"Check the transmission generator," Captain Panaka orders. "A communications disruption can only mean one thing, invasion."
"Dirty bastards," I curse under my breath at the Trade Federation, getting to my feet whilst Padme sits in denial. "We need to intervene, now."
"The Trade Federation would not dare go that far."
"Well, they have," I say frankly, the only one Padme allows to speak so bluntly in her presence. Whilst she took on a new name to protect our families identity it's known by all that I'm her sister and sworn protector as well as advisor.
"The senate would revoke their trade franchises," Panaka argues. "They'd be finished."
"Unless the senate is well, the senate," I reply, unlike Padme having little hope in their running of things. "We cannot sit and argue consequence when they are clearly not thinking of any."
"We must continue to rely on negotiations."
"Negotiations?" One of the ministers questions. "We've lost all communications, and where are the chancellors ambassadors?"
"He's right," I say to Padme, feeling it in my gut. "We must act quickly."
"This is a dangerous situation your highness," Panaka agrees. "Our security volunteers will be no match against a battle hardened federation army."
Her eyes immediately go to me, fourteen and yet still my little sister. "My sister will keep me safe, I trust her instincts, but I will not condone an action that will lead us to war."
I lean in towards her, trying to get her to see that this will not end how she wishes. "We may not have a choice."
She looks at me with the brown eyes we both share and I know she will let this go to war over her dead body.
~
Alone Padme and I watch as the Trade Federation's army comes, and I plead with her to reconsider her strategy.
"Padme, I know you do not want war but when they bring it to our doorstep we cannot just silently resist," I tell her as she stares out the window. "We must fight back."
She shakes her head. "No, fighting will only lead to death."
"So will this," I tell her, remembering what I was taught. "There is a reason the Republic for all its pacifism has the Jedi as its army, they are peaceful but know when to fight to protect it."
She looks at me, knowing I would not dare defend them unless I was desperate. "The Republic would refute the idea the Jedi are its personal army."
"But it is the truth," I tell her, knowing it better than she ever could. "You were not raised for battle, I was, so believe me when I say we are facing one."
She looks forward again, at the army closing in on the palace. "We only have our security force, we have no army. If I send them to fight they will be slaughtered."
"Then send me," I say and she stills. "If I'm all that stands between the Trade Federation and this planet then so be it, I will not sit by and watch it fall."
She looks at me, her emotions disguised behind the heavy makeup she wears, her handmaidens preparing Sabe to take her place as she reluctantly agrees. "Then you will fight."
~
I hide in the shadows as she gives herself over in surrender, her security detail disarmed, but someone on Naboo has to be still armed. Someone has to be waiting for the right moment to get her off this planet. I didn't spend my childhood training for a moment like this to fail, not again.
It's been five years since I came home from Coruscant expecting my family to welcome me with open arms only to find them horrified that I had failed what they saw as the ultimate honour. I left the order after watching in horror as they ripped children screaming from their parents arms, after countless fights with my own master and the council over the Jedi's ideology. Because I believed love was more important than what they preached to me, believing I would find it home on Naboo, only to be sorely wrong.
The greatest irony was leaving Depa Billaba, the closest thing to a mother I ever knew for one I hardly remembered. It was only my sisters who welcomed me home with open arms. One who I grew up alongside and another who did not know me, but nonetheless accepted me as her own.
And so in shame I became Rhea Amidala, the lost Jedi who shamed a proud family
Padme is the only purpose I have now, and while she chooses to surrender peacefully the Trade Federation's intentions are nowhere near as peaceful as hers. If I can't get her off this planet then I have to escape alone, I have to call to our allies in the Republic for help since the communications have been lost and the Chancellors ambassadors are nowhere to be found.
Naboo cannot resist an army of battle droids, not alone, and I have no qualms about walking into a room of politicians on Coruscant and demanding action.
From the upstairs balcony I watch our people being herded and rounded up until a movement in the river catches my eye and see a submarine surface that does not belong to the Trade Federation, and my eyes narrow in disbelief at the man who emerges from it.
Qui-Gon Jinn?
It seems we have not been abandon afterall.
Quickly I move from the balcony to follow their movements and catch voices from the stairwell where the Viceryoy is arresting Padme.
"How will you explain this invasion to the senate?"
"The queen and I will sign a treaty that will legitimise our occupation here."
Now that she certainly won't do.
I feel for the blaster at my belt and debate opening fire, but I have no saber to deflect the battle droids fire and no clear path of escape for Padme and her handmaidens, not yet at least, and so I sneak along the open corridors above the courtyard, following them until I catch movement just nearby, two Jedi and a Gungan.
Taking a risk I poke my head up and they spot me, the younger man a few years older than myself sees me first, not a Jedi that I recognise, but he taps his master on the arm to bring his attention to me with wide eyes, clearly not having expected anyone to still be walking free, and point for them to follow me.
They meet me along the overhead pass where Padme and the others are about to pass below surrounded by battle droids. The younger one raises his saber, as if in question, and I nod raising my blaster. Not a moment later we jump down onto the street below, the sound of sabers so strange to me after so long as I take out the remaining droids with my silenced blaster.
"Your highness," I say, checking Sabe over to not give anything away before I check on Padme and she gives me a nod to assure me she's alright.
"We should leave the street, your highness," Qui-Gon says and I keep my head low, knowing he is one of the few masters who could still recognise me, Jedi like ourselves who cause as much trouble for the council as we do, or rather did, tend to become acquainted.
"Get their weapons," I order what's left of Padme's security, Sabe disguised as Queen Amidala is ushered forward and I check on Padme again as I hand her a blaster, knowing I taught her how to use one and to use it well.
"Jedi?" she asks and I nod, briefly meeting the eyes of the padawan as we keep moving forward until we are out of sight. "Do you know them?"
Quietly I hush her despite the looks we get and Master Qui-Gon tells us as we reach cover "We're ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor," Qui-Gon tells us.
"And I am the queen's protector," I reply and search his eyes for any sense of recognition, if he remembers me he doesn't give it away. "I take it negotiations didn't go as planned?"
"The negotations were short," the padawan remarks and I meet his eye again, still not recognising him but he looks to have been a few years above my class.
"In fact they never took place," Qui-Gon tells us. "It's urgent that we make contact with the Republic."
"They've knocked out communications," I tell him, right now wishing her damn council had listened to me when I warned them something wasn't right. "They have no plans to allow us to contact the Republic until the queen has signed a document legalising the invasion."
"Do you have transports?"
"In the main hanger," Panaka answers and points. "This way."
I walk beside the padawan as Panaka guides Padme and her detail into the hanger where others have already been gathered to talk strategy.
"There seems to be no actual fighters on the Federations side," I tell the two Jedi. "Just battle droids."
"There's still too many of them," Panaka says but he doesn't know what Jedi are capable of.
"That won't be a problem," Qui Gon says and turns to Sabe. "Your highness under the circumstances I suggest you come to Coruscant with us."
"Thank you ambassador," she replies while I shake my head at both of them in warning. "But my place is with my people."
"Queen Amidala, I must protest," I say, looking both of them in the eye. "You won't be much good to your people dead, you need to address the senate."
"They need her to sign a treaty to make this invasion legal," Panaka reminds us. "They can't afford to kill her."
My voice is harsh. "No but they can torture her into signing it."
I feel a coldness wash over Padme
"There's something else behind all this," Qui-Gon says to Sabe. "Your Highness there's no logic in the Federations move here. My feelings tell me they will destroy you."
"I agree," I say jumping in before anyone else can. "I feel it too although none of you were willing to listen when this blockade began."
"Now is not the time for hysterics Lady Amidala," Panaka chastises.
"And now is not the time for the queen to become a martyr," I retort. "The queen trusts my feelings even if you may not and I can assure you now is the time to act and survive."
None of the handmaidens react, each of them knowing my past, but I get a strange look from the padawan, Qui-Gon simply looks amused.
"Our only hope is for the senate to side with us," Padme's advisor says. "Senator Palpatine will need your help."
"Either choice presents grave danger to us all," Sabe says and looks to Padme for guidance.
"We are brave, your highness," Padme replies.
"If you are to leave your highness, it must be now," Qui-Gon says and Sabe looks to me, knowing Padme looks to me as well, and I nod in agreement.
"Then I will plead our case to the senate."
"Thank the maker," I murmur under my breath. "Now let's leave."
I follow the Jedi into the hanger, walking in front of Sabe with my blaster in hand as Panaka instructs "We will need to free those pilots."
"I'll deal with that," the padawan says and I follow him, firing as he ignites his saber, freeing the pilots and directing them to the ship as he finishes off the droids. "That should be it."
"No, it's not," I say grabbing him by the wrist as another squadron of battle droids emerge and order him "Cover me until we get the pilots on board."
He gives a quick nod and does as I ask, using his saber to deflect the blaster fire, covering me for long enough I can take out most of the droids by blaster until everyone is safely on board the ship.
"Come on!" I say and we finally jump onboard as more droids come, electing for escape rather than fighting and Qui-Gon who's been protecting the others follows us onboard, the last to get on before the ramp raises.
I put my blaster back in its holster as it shuts and we take off, meeting the padawan's eyes as we let out a breath of relief and everyone collects themselves, thankfully Qui-Gon doesn't stop to ask questions as he heads to speak to the pilot, leaving his apprentice with me.
He's handsome, certainly on the brink of becoming a Jedi Knight judging by his age and I clear my throat before I say "I don't believe we've been introduced."
"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he answers shaking my hand, the name still not familiar. "Jedi Padawan."
"Rhea Amidala," I reply. "The Queen's sister."
"Ah," he says, it now making sense to him why I'd be the one trying to order her about. "I take it you didn't agree with the surrender?"
"Someone had to be armed," I reply at how he found me but know it's a miracle no one but I spotted them arriving. "Nice submarine by the way, stealthy."
"You saw that?" he exclaims, now slightly embarrassed as he picks up the sarcasm in my voice, and I just laugh.
"Not as sly as you thought huh?" I tease with a raised eyebrow and immediately know by how he stiffens up at being jested with that he truly is one of those who's painfully devoted to the code, surprising considering who his master is. "Come on, they'll need us in the cockpit."
He follows me into it and I come to Panaka's side as he shows us the blockade, only to find myself hanging on to the back of a chair as an alarm starts blaring and the Federation launches their attack.
"Shield generators been hit!"
I try to stay calm as the droids are dispatched to the roof, but it's not a pretty sight as they continue to be shot off and I find myself looking at Master Qui-Gon, he doesn't seem awfully worried and I have to trust his judgement more than my own.
"We're losing droids fast," Obi-Wan says and we share a brief look of concern at the dire situation we've quickly found ourselves in.
"If we can't get the shield generator fixed we'll be sitting ducks."
I jump as another droid is blown off and they announce. "The shields are gone."
Immediately I turn to security. "Get the queen and her handmaidens towards the escape pod, and don't tell them why otherwise she'll fight with you, go!"
But before they can go to Padme we hear "Power's back! That little droid did it, he bypassed the main power drive."
"Never underestimate a droid," Qui Gon tells the captain, ironic considering its battle droids we're facing.
"Now get us out of here," I say but before we're in the clear there's another problem.
"There's not enough power to get us to coruscant, the hyperdrive's leaking."
I just shake my head as Qui Gon says "We'll have to land somewhere to refuel and repair the ship."
"Here master," Obi-Wan calls out. "Tatooine." I walk over to look at his screen. "It's small, out of the way, poor. The Trade Federation have no presence here."
"How can you be sure?"
"It's controlled by the Hutts."
"Do it," I agree and tell the captain. "Tatooine, we have no time to waste."
"You can't take the royal highness there!" Panaka argues. "The Tutts are gangsters."
"They still bleed like the rest of us don't they?" I argue, knowing the Federation will be scouring the sector for us and I'd take my luck with them over battle droids. "What would you rather? Hutts or her being captured by the Federation?"
"Lady Amidala, you might be her protector but I am her chief of security-"
"I am her sister!" I snap back, having been sent to negotiate in enough diplomatic messes to know what awaits her if captured. "Her safety is my only priority and you are taking your orders from me, we are landing on Tatooine."
Qui-Gon puts a hand on my shoulder, his voice calm as he speaks to Panaka. "It would be no different than if we landed on a system controlled by the Federation. Except that the Hutt's aren't looking for her, which gives us the advantage."
And with that it's settled, no one would argue with a true Jedi and feel Qui-Gons eyes on me, knowing from the careful look he gives that he does indeed remember me.
"I'm sure the queen's sister was not questioning your authority Captain Panaka," he says, even now sticking up for me as he often did then. "But merely acting out of love."
"And what is more important than love?" I find myself saying.
"Balance."
Obi-Wan looks between us confused but I find relief in Qui-Gon being here, of all the Jedi that could have come I have faith in him.
"Exactly, which is why love is just as important as apathy," I say, remembering the words I spoke five years ago. "For balance." I look between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and clear my throat. "Thank you for coming to my sister's aid."
"I dare say you had it half-handled by the time we got there," Qui-Gon says. "You are a talented combatant."
"Well, I'm not much else but that," I say almost bitterly and look at the radar. "Come, we better get the R2 droid who saved our lives before he's blown off like the others."
~
I stand back with Obi-Wan as Panaka presents the droid to Sabe, despite Qui-Gon recognising me instantly his padawan is still oblivious to the fact he's standing beside one of his own.
"Without a doubt it saved the ship as well as our lives."
"It is to be commended," Sabe says. "What is its number?"
"R2-D2, your highness."
I can't help but smile. "Thank you, R2-D2."
I can feel Obi-Wan's eyes lingering on me, confused by my exchange with Qui-Gon but it's hardly as if he'd assume I was once a Jedi. It's something I've tried to forget myself despite just how integral it is to my very core.
"Padme clean this droid up as best you can, it deserves our gratitude."
Padme takes the R2 unit while Sabe gives permission for Qui-Gon to come forth and speak.
"Your highness, your sister Rhea has already given her approval and with your permission we're heading for a remote planet called Tatooine. It's in a system far beyond the reach of the Trade Federation."
"I do not agree with the Jedi on this," Panaka argues and I speak up.
"I do. I trust Master Qui-Gon's judgement."
Panaka knows well my past, as to the most important members of padme's security, and whilst he's hesitant to listen to my judgement Padme trusts it completely and with that it is settled but I still feel the Padawan's inquisitive eyes on me and so I meet them, holding his gaze as I leave the room.
~
I sit alone with Padme, helping her clean up R2.
"Do you know the Jedi?" she asks me now we're alone.
"Master Qui-Gon is a Jedi I respect greatly, he has views different to the council, similar to mine," I tell her, remembering him well. "He was not my master but he took it upon himself to mentor me at times, and so he no doubt recognises me although he has not said anything. As for his Padawan I can't say I do, although there we many of us and he seems to be older than I."
She nods and asks "Do you still regret leaving?"
The question surprises me, it's always been a forbidden topic amongst our family, but it's just us now. She was just a baby when I was taken by the order, whilst Sola and I reconnected with tears I was a stranger to her, but thankfully five years have remedied that.
"Sometimes," I admit to her. "I miss having a purpose, in some ways I miss the family the Jedi are at its core, but its ideology... it was my master who in fact encouraged me to leave. She said how I viewed things was not wrong, and that I had the potential to be a great Jedi but that my mind and heart were too strong for the council." I reach across and squeeze her hand. "That is one thing we have in common, our headstrong minds and hearts, it's like arguing with a stone wall. Even at fourteen they knew I'd be too much trouble. Just like you are now."
She smiles. "I wouldn't call myself trouble."
"Oh but you are," I smile fondly. "Be proud of it."
She looks behind me and I follow her eyes to find Qui-Gon. "Rhea, may I have a word?"
"Of course master," I say and Padme leaves us.
He's unsure of what to say at first, still surprised to have come across me. "Sister of the queen, is this what you're doing now? Causing trouble for yet another poor unfortunate council?"
"I don't intend to but somehow I always seem to, much like yourself," I say, smiling to myself. "It is a relief to see you Master, it truly is."
"I'm surprised you were so welcoming, considering how you left," he tells me and my smile fades. "You were five or so when they found you weren't you? Many argued you were too old to be trained."
"To be indoctrinated," I correct. "I was six with two loving parents and two sisters. My parents gave me up seeing it as an honour but I was taken from everything I'd ever known and loved only to be told I was not allowed to love anymore, that my very emotions were poison."
He nods in understanding. "Yes, that is the great irony isn't it? We are meant to love all, have unlimited compassion and yet not for anyone in particular."
"You see," I breathe out in relief. "It's madness."
"It's order," he quickly corrects, but does admit. "Too much order. Even Obi-Wan my own padawan pleads with me not to go against the council. Do you remember him?"
"No," I answer, shaking my head. "At least I don't think so."
"That's fair, he is older than you," he says and tells me "I'm afraid he does not have much left to learn from me, and I know your Master Billaba still feels the loss of her own padawan."
I let out a humourless laugh, trying to push back those feelings of regret. "I left to find my parents and yet they didn't want me back, I loved them and they loved me but viewed me leaving the most prestigious order in the galaxy as a great shame whilst grooming my sister to be queen."
"You love her greatly," he states. "But you feel no purpose."
His words cut deep because they are true. "Are my emotions so obvious?"
"Very," he says. "But you always did feel greatly, you had a great passion for justice that I remember well, a instinctual need to protect."
I look away, knowing it was that very thing that caused me to be expelled from the order, even if I said I left, even if that's what I told my parents and everyone else, I know the truth and so does he.
"We must be getting close to Tatooine," I say clearing my throat and he follows me into the cockpit where Obi-Wan sits with the pilot as they prepare to land.
"That's it, Tatooine."
"There's a settlement."
"Land near the outskirts. We don't want to attract attention."
Qui-Gon takes over and I follow his padawan to the see the state of the shield generator for myself, not liking any of this but knowing she is safe enough here until we can get it working.
"I'm afraid I'm not one for mechanics," I tell him as we examine it. "But it's not good is it?"
"The hyperdrive generator is gone, we'll need a new one," he tells me and I sigh knowing in the outer rims very little is done for the Jedi out of the kindness of peoples hearts.
"Ilooks like we might be doing business with the Tutt's after all," I remark as Qui-Gon walks in.
"Well that will complicate things," he says and warns "Be wary, I sense a disturbance in the force."
Obi-Wan nods. "I feel it also master."
I look away, surprised despite my years disconnected to also feel that something isn't quite right. The one thing I've retained from my training is my gut instinct and talent for combat, a warrior on a pacifist planet.
"Don't let them send any transmissions," Qui-Gon instructs and says to me "Rhea, I recommend you stay with the ship, if any troubles come this way two Jedi are better than one."
Obi-Wan's head whips around to me "What?"
Qui-Gon leaves as quickly as he came giving me a look that can only be described as a very intentional oops, leaving it for me to explain.
"I'm sorry did I hear that right?" Obi-Wan asks me. "Jedi?"
I hang my head, finding it difficult to confess after so long. "I was."
His eyebrows narrow together, his voice softening. "Was?"
"Rhea Naberrie," I tell him, the name I was called then. "I- Qui-Gon was just pulling your leg, I was a padawan but I was never a real Jedi."
Many younglings and padawans do not make it to the rank of Jedi, many are sent to the service corps if the council does not believe they have the aptitude despite having the force so it's not unusual for there to be failed Jedi, but he's intune enough to know it's not that type of situation.
"But you know him," he says and presses "And he knows you."
"Yes, you're correct," I stiffly acknowledge but thankfully we're interrupted by Rabe before I have to explain anything. "Yes Rabe?"
"Lady Amidala," she anxiously begins. "Padme has gone with Master Qui-Gon."
"What?" I blurt out and she stammers.
"She insisted upon going with him."
"Of course she has," I sigh, knowing she wouldn't just sit on board, that she has to be out there doing something to help remedy this situation and bite back my frustration. "Thank you."
She leaves and I bring a hand to my forehead, wishing she at least told me first so I could go with her, but Qui-Gon is right in needing us to protect the ship.
"Rhea?" Obi-Wan asks, concerned.
"Sorry she-" I laugh at the irony. "I was just telling Padme she's just as much trouble as I was at her age and to be proud of it, but oh it's not as fun being the one dealing with trouble."
"Do you want to go after her?" he asks me and I shake my head.
"No, Master Qui-Gon is right, we need to stay with the ship," I decide, for once in my life following orders considering all her handmaidens are on board and Padme would be devastated if any were to be harmed. "She will be safe with them, and it's best I'm here in case there's any trouble. I trust Qui-Gon's judgement."
"So you do know him," he says and notices how I tense. "You were a Jedi."
"A padawan," I correct and realise we are indeed having this conversation and so I spit it out. "I left the order."
He's absolutely bewildered and can't hide the judgement in his voice. "Why?"
I let out a dangerous laugh, knowing not to get into this. "Oh no, today is not the day for an ideological argument."
"Ideology? You sound like my master."
"Good, because he's the one who mentored me," I reply much to his surprise. "Oh come on, a troublesome young padawan with a big mouth and tough head, someone had to."
He sighs, indeed matching what Qui-Gon told me. "Of course he did, but- but why didn't he train you then?"
"He had you it seems and I already had a master, Master Billaba," I tell him and lean against the broken generator. "She was like a mother to me, wise and strict but fair, she wasn't as wrapped up in the ideology as much as some of the others."
"Like who?"
"Yoda," I answer, almost scoffing at how obvious it should be.
"You can't insult Master Yoda," he scoffs back at me.
"I can insult anyone I like, and Yoda might be old and supposedly wise but he's too caught up in the nonsense to allow any sort of reform," I argue, having indeed stumbled into an ideological argument with this padawan. "The Jedi Order needs to grow and evolve instead of being stuck in its archaic ways, being Qui-Gons padawan I know you know what I mean."
He lets out a frustrated sigh. "Of course I know what you mean and I don't disagree, but to leave the order over it-"
"I didn't have a choice," I grit out, reliving the argument I had with my mother years ago and back track. "I was taken older than most and from the moment I was taken there all I heard from the council was to cease attachment, 'oh the girl is dangerous because she misses her mother.'"
"But attachment is dangerous-"
"I was a kid!" I end up snapping at him.
"We all were," he argues back. "We all had family but it was our duty-"
"Duty? What duty did we have as children? We were kidnapped and indoctrinated, I was old enough when I was taken to remember it. If it was up to them they'd have us no more sentient than those damned battle droids!"
He scoffs. "Battle droids? You mean what the Jedi have just saved you from?"
"I was doing perfectly fine before you came," I refute.
"Is that why everyone had been rounded up by the Trade Federation?"
I laugh dangerously. "Classic Jedi, thinking you know everything, so frustratingly arrogant, and wasn't it your job as the Chancellors ambassadors to prevent that from happening in the first place?"
"I'm sorry, but as a military advisor isn't it your job to prevent us from having to get involved?"
"It's a little hard when my planet won't allow a military to be built!"
"And that's my problem?"
"Yes!" I exclaim. "It is the Republic's job to protect the planets within it and it's your job as their army to enforce that!"
"We aren't the Republics-"
"Then why are you here?" I retort, gesturing about to our surroundings. "If it isn't your problem, and you aren't doing the Republics bidding then why are you here?"
"Because it is the job of a Jedi to protect the innocent," he finishes and I clamp my mouth shut. "Only someone consumed by their hatred would think otherwise."
"Hatred?" I repeat, truly astounded that he sees everything so black and white to interpret justified anger as hatred. "My home has just been invaded and my sister's life is in danger and we are stranded on a planet in the outer rims hoping we'll come across what we need to fix the engine to get off here before the Trade Federation begins killing people." Now he's the one who clamps his jaw shut. "And I would rather not be standing here being interrogated by a padawan who should be doing his job instead of criticising me for leaving a corrupt organisation I don't agree with."
He sighs, realising fighting with me will only lead to more fighting rather than a victory and says "My master sees its flaws but he doesn't leave it, he works with them to help people."
"Then I applaud him, he is a good man," I say, our respect for Qui-Gon being the only common ground between us. "But I help my people in other ways, which is what I'm trying to do now."
I turn my back on him and he reluctantly follows as I march back through the ship to the cockpit for an update. "Have you heard from Master Qui-Gon?"
"Not yet my lady," they answer and I'm tempted to go after them but remember why I must stay.
"So we sit and wait," I find myself muttering.
"Yes," Obi-Wan says and his sarcasm is enough to make me want to leave this ship regardless. "Perhaps you could meditate, maker knows you need to."
"Or perhaps you could keep your nose where it belongs."
"Gladly," he says but before either of us can leave the cockpit a transmission comes through from Qui-Gon and we reluctantly share the same air as we listen to their dilemma, realising we lack the currency to negotiate with the Tatooine.
"Are you sure there's nothing left on board?"
"A few containers of supplies," Obi-Wan says, calmer than I am. "The queens wardrobe maybe but not enough to barter with, not in the amount you're talking about."
"There's little on board, everything of worth remains on Naboo," I say, frustrated. "Can you force their hand?"
"I'm afraid I cannot," he answers as Obi-Wan shakes his head at me for suggesting methods that are not the Jedi way. "But it's alright, I'm sure another solution will present itself. I'll check back later."
It goes silent and Obi-Wan and I sit there together, the tension between us thick as I wish I'd just gone with Qui-Gon, knowing I'd be better use there than arguing with his padawan.
Obi-Wan's the first to break the tension "Are you sure there is nothing we can barter with?"
"Not enough to buy a shield generator with," I mutter as the direness of the situation truly hits me. "We need to get the queen to the senate."
"I know," he assures me, his voice becoming lighter when he feels the pure anxiety that begins to fill me. "And we will and in the meantime, like you said, she's safer here than on Naboo."
"Well, I'm not wrong," I say but still shake my head. "I don't like sitting here and waiting for a solution to present itself."
"You said you trust Master Qui-Gon's judgement," he says and implores "I myself question it at times but we must both trust it now."
"It's not your master's judgement I question," I assure him, my anger forgotten. "It's the senates will to act on this invasion."
I expect him to blindly defend the senate but he surprises me "Politicians will be politicians, I don't trust him and you're smart enough not to either, but you must have faith that we will find a solution to the Trade Federations attack."
"My sister's only been queen for a few months, she's fourteen and facing the worst catastrophe in living memory," I lament, knowing this is not what she should be dealing with and yet she has taken it upon herself with nothing but grace. "She's brilliant and I have full faith in her, but I worry others will not listen to a fourteen year old girls demands for action."
He doesn't dismiss my concerns and instead says "Well with you advocating for her I dare say they'll be forced to listen or else be brutally rebuked until they have no choice but to agree to your demands."
I smile to myself and see a glimpse of one on his own face as I admit "Well, you aren't wrong."
Our eyes meet and this time it's different, there's no distrust or hostility and he's the bigger person in saying "I'm sorry for arguing, I should have listened when you warned me against it."
"Don't apologise, you didn't know what you were getting into," I admit and force myself to follow his example. "Although I am sorry as well, you have not faulted in your duty to help us."
I reserve my temperament for those who refuse to listen, I thought he was one of those until now but he's proven me wrong in my own misgivings.
"Let's start over," he says and I wonder if he's thinking the same about me as he extends his hand. "Obi-Wan Kenobi."
I look at it still slightly hesitant but trust my instincts when they tell me to trust him. "Rhea Amidala."
He offers me a gentle smile, and as I take his hand I can feel the force, can feel a good old soul in him, a light that's so rare even amongst the Jedi that it stuns me. A light I'd convinced myself wasn't real, but here it is in front of me.
And perhaps for the first time I care what someone else thinks of me as I hope he sees the same in me.
