TWITTER BLAST 018
@GossipGirl: Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. It's that time again, UESiders, and I have nauseating hookups and a not so shocking breakup to bring to you. Let's begin with the Gods and Goddesses Ball and move on, but don't expect me to acknowledge a certain kidnapping event. Little fish Serena Tully was dumped by her longtime boyfriend right before the ball. What a dick, but really, how surprised can I pretend to be? Could that explain her desperate plea of a dress? Never fear, however, Serena was quick to move on. She was spotted kissing her best friend's twin brother, and rumors have been surrounding her and their cousin, Thomas Baratheon. At least she's keeping it in the family.
Speaking of desperation, it seems to be in the water these days. Danielle Arryn was spotted robbing the cradle with Lance Lannister in a dressing room, hospital room, storage closet... Nobody ever used classy to describe the songstress, but now they'll probably be using pedophile. Lana Lannister was seen flirting with Peter Baelish, and I can't decide who I'm more disappointed in, but the flirtation was cut short by her trysts with Edward Tully and Wilson Tyrell. She hasn't wasted any time since arriving to the city, has she? Her cousin Lilith Lannister made her rounds chatting up various Big Seven sons at the ball, shocker, but the one she didn't pay much attention to is the one she's been seeing. Trouble in paradise didn't last long before they were mauling each other's faces in public, however, but don't worry dears, neither will their relationship. Will she move on to Alexander Arryn, whose feelings for the blonde are no more a secret than his trainwreck of a family, or will his attention continue to be stolen by outsider turned insider Alexandria Storm? For claiming to dislike the Seven so much, the Storms sure spend a lot of time with them. I'd start on Adrian's recent antics, but we actually have important people to discuss here.
Hannah Umber and Emily Long have returned, and so has their rocky relationship, but let's go back to Edward Tully, assuming he hasn't been killed by Commissioner James Selmy yet. That's right, the eldest fish celebrated his New Year's with the man's daughter, Brianna. It was nice knowing you, Eddie. As for his cousin, Natalie Stark, she hasn't let public humiliation and heartbreak keep her down, or away from the person who put her through it. Lance isn't the only bad boy she's been seen with, the little wolf seems to have a liking for Walker Tyrell. You know what they say, Natalie. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... The male roses aren't the only ones spreading their petals around, though Willa Tyrell has chosen to only share hers with Mason Arryn while keeping a lid on her party animal ways. Taking bets on how long before she succumbs and cheats on him, too.
One couple that won't be cheating is Tripp Stark and Lara Lannister. I've mentioned before how dull they are, there's no need to touch on it again until The Lion steps in and gives me more to work with. You might've noticed that Analeigh Stark returned, or maybe you didn't, I couldn't blame you. If you ask me, it's only a matter of time before the former socialite craves the limelight and knocks even Danielle Arryn off the top of the scandal scale. Others keeping quiet? Lucas Lannister and Miranda Baratheon. If their goal was social irrelevance, they've damn near accomplished it. While this might not be news for the doe, certainly everyone's favorite lion won't be happy about fading into nothingness. And I for one cannot wait to see how he plans to change that.
Happy New Year, New York. Something tells me 2013 is going to go out with a bang, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I know you'll make the next twelve months just as deliciously dirty as the last.
XOXO.