#windy squeals

[windydrawallday]

*Inhales* Dear friends and moots, if you had moments of feeling like you're about to self-censor your joy for something out of shame, lemme tell you my story.

... A story so long that I could have put it under the cut, but you know WHAT: the point of this is to beat the need to be comfortable, so I will beat that one too by gushing out my experiences. LETS GOOOOO!

Since something in 2022, I fell head over heels for this character:

Trasformers Animated Lockdown, horrible example of a fictional character to fixate on, yeah? I don't give a fuck. He's my darling.

I was pretty aware from Day 0 that fandom barely cared for him and/or always played it safe with his character, and so, there are practically crumbles of content of him that tickle my tastes.

So I did what the most logical starving-of-content person does in such moments: I dedicated art to him.

... I dedicated a whole fake Music Mix CD to Lockdown, isn't this proof enough of my madness for him???

I even did my own design/interpretation to show not just Lockdown's sadistic, irredeemable side... but related to his solitary ways, longing for what he is not made for, or simply being silly (because he for sure CAN be silly if given enough room for such).

I dared to pair other characters with Lockdown because HEY, it's a fun way to expand and speculate behavior that canon doesn't cover.

Tho I can count on my ten fingers the amount of hate I got from standing for this character. Like, I'm gonna be a murderer in disguise, or that I *reads imaginary paperwork* will enable abusive pairings when depicting fantasy scenes with equally fantastical characters *rolls eyes like two steamrollers*. I'm a fucking adult who has her ducks in line. Go back to kindergarten if you still can't understand what pretend play is, please and thank you.

But did I stop? Nopes. I just kept going. Sadly, yeah, I needed to move a little less boldly to keep out of the radar. But I really never stopped.

That's PART of my Padlet dedicated to hoard aesthetic stuff for him!

And from there on, things become curiously brighter personally for me. I'm well aware that's ironic to say, knowing this character's lore. Those who know me more than superficially will understand why I align so much with dark themes and, in general, punk-ish looking monsters themed around death:

It's less than before, but I suffer from anger management issues. Alongside it, I was constantly and silently abandoned/denied affection of any type that wasn't the bare minimum material need. They made me feel like a monster, something not worth caring for. I feel unloved for so long...

And so that's why I always found myself attached to villain-like characters. Especially those dreadful, unhinged ones. Because I wanted to wield such a fearsome respect. I wanted those around me to make space for me. Just a tiny bit at least. I'm already a good person... but I lacked the wits and self-esteem to stand for myself.

So my love for this character surpassed even that barrier of fansquealing domain... and delved alongside this character's essence the spiritual/craft frontiers.

Yes, this is TRUE delulu. I DON'T CARE! I felt enlightened and more in tune with that neglected side of my past. Walking through those deep, scary shadows of myself. Nurturing it alongside a companion inspired by my fav blorbo motivated me so muuuch!

And now, I put him through the OCification/Creaturification Beam. He's ingrained in me, and I will fight shame to pry it from my hands every day I think of him.

Thank you, Lockdown: for indirectly making me a better person 🖤🦡️🖤🦡️🖤🦡️

And thank you so much to Mr Wyatt: I'm in debt with that man, not only just for illustrating my childhood with so many fun shows, but for bringing this character to life in TFA.

CONCLUSION: Love what you love. You will never know how much it will last, so make the most of it!!!

[windydrawallday]

*Me, trying to design my take on Onyx Prime* This will be called "How Many Animal Traits I Can Cram on a Single Creature"...

[windydrawallday]

"Windy, you know you don't need to do a thematic cover for your Artfight profile, right?"

Yes

"You still spent +3 hs gathering resources for it because you wanted to make it a collab?"

... yes.

I ball 🤟

[windydrawallday]

Hi, there!

I will start with this silly European Badger to break the ice, because I want to talk about why I assigned them symbolically to TFA Lockdown and how that made me decide to put him through the OC Beam with [Acantho]. I will delve into other design notes I analyzed plus HCs I have for him that come from such.

This will probably be LONG and tangled because I have been rewriting this at least five times... I want to leave this here as a "documentation" of my madness (WindyPLS). If some of you enjoy the read, HURRAY! It's fine if not, sorry in advance in case I left you, instead, extra confused haha ay

First and foremost, I'm a furry artist, something that probably only my oldest followers and moots from more than a decade ago will know. I love animals and the meanings humanity assigned to them to tell stories. It's my favorite pastime to gush about it, even if it's not as bold as other themes I project in my art. Anyway.

Knowing that it's not difficult to guess why I chose to symbolically attach the character of Lockdown to an animal. Now, why a European badger? Just look at them:

Badgers are persistent, opportunistic, and very territorial animals, not caring how big the challenger is. Plus, that fur pattern on their faces is hella rad! It says, "Keep eyes on me, or you will regret it" (same effect as patterns used for danger signals that feature skull symbols).

I have seen artists relating the bounty hunter symbolically with apex predators like tigers (especially the leucistic, white ones), something that makes absolute sense! I admit I referenced Shere Khan when drawing expressions for Lockdown (and later, for Acantho).

But, as always, I wanted to give my own take on Lockdown's character, and more knowing he had a background as an ex-Autobot. It made sense to me that he would be a fighter in a compact form.

I choose badgers too because in some cultures, it was associated (mistakenly) with funerary rituals, when people found multiple animal bones like those of rabbits and foxes in the same place alongside badger bones (it really was just the remains of old, collapsed setts/dens).

That btw, at least for the European badger, is known to tolerate other smaller animals living in its labyrinthine dens. That means they aren't a full murdering machine 24/7. Badgers know when to benefit from "allies" to then eat them for not paying rent -WindyNO-.

For that reason, when developing Acantho (OC), I preferred to focus on adding more (performative) "social" skills. Those give room to possible interesting dynamics not always based on seeing everyone and everything as prey.

Talking about soaring over the horizon with overanalysis and reinterpretations...

Lockdown's hook-arm at the start reminded me of a sickle, and then of bolines. For those not versed in magical practices, bolines are ritualistic tools. It still cuts, but instead of being used for mundane activities, it is used as an extension of the practitioner to canalize their intention into their acts.

Going back a bit, sickles are used to, of course, cut and harvest. You know who else is a symbolic figure who sports this tool? Yeah, the Tarot card of Death.

Gotta love when I can connect the dots in this way hahaha coff Funny, if you didn't know, this card isn't really a bad omen. The card actually means big changes, transformation by an impactful moment. I like to describe its apparition as "shock therapy", because it is sudden and unexpected sorry, Prowl.

Tho, I didn't put much of that "psychopompos" aspect on Lockdown, because he's not exactly gentle pfff, but he covers the oopsie, chaotic role of death perfectly, pulling the curtains from the eyes of innocence of whoever crossed his path.

And that's all! Technically, there are more notes from me, but I'm writing this quite late at night, it's cold outside, and I feel already satisfied to have this out of my drafts. Gotta sleep to be productive tomorrow 🐾🦡

Fun Fact: European badgers are actually very clean and keep their setts tidy at all costs. My interpretation of TFA Lockdown is equally hygienic... tho, only he understands the apparent chaos of his collected trophies.

[windydrawallday]

Sometimes the imposter syndrome really, REALLY, R E A L L Y hits hard, not even my usual personal discourse and inner voice makes through that noisy storm.

That's when I grab my flash drive with my comfort media stash, and I watch Courage the Cowardly Dog S04 E13... to listen to him:

There's no such thing as "perfect". You're beautiful as you are, Courage. With all your imperfections, you can do anything.

Yes, I let a fictional fish on a silly ugly-cute absurd cartoon cheer me up xD

[windydrawallday]

Thinking further about gifting art... all those times I did it to a couple of friends and moots. Thinking if they really know how much it means to me to one day say "You deserve a piece of me to hold with yourself when I'm not there for you". Because THAT'S how I see my giftart and/or dedicated art to friends and moots.

It's not just a simple piece I did to call a day. You matter to me. You matter to me so much that I DECIDED TO PUT +20 YEARS WORTH OF MY SKILL INTO SOMETHING CAREFULLY DRAWN, JUST FOR YOU.

You hold something as unique as you, and at the same time, a piece of me. My time. My skills. My devotion.

I hope you never forget that, if you doubted about how important you are to someone, every time you look back at that little bunch of shapes and colors... I hope you remember it.

[windydrawallday]

To read a moot say they admire my art because they always leave them amazed... while I was feeling a tad down hours ago, looking at how fast other muses I admire release such cool art. It's so surreal.

Even if you don't think you are making an impact... You probably ARE, silently, to someone you are a muse, too.

[windydrawallday]

Fighting back insecurities with my art while preparing my first commission sheet, telling myself multiple times "My art is worth it, my art is worth it, MY ART IS WORTH IT!"