Coming Out
Written for this request
Bucky was sitting on their bed, laptop precariously balanced on their knees as their fingers flew across the keyboard. They had been working on this essay for their music theory class for nearly an hour and were getting close to finishing it. Natasha, their roommate, was on the floor between their beds doing push-ups and they weren’t sure just how long she’d been at it but it didn’t look like she was going to stop anytime soon.
Bucky was pretty sure that Natasha had either been in the military or been a spy at some point in her life, but she had never said and they had never asked. If it was the latter they were glad they hadn’t asked. But she was aware of Bucky’s gender and sexuality and had never had a problem with it. In fact, she had even kicked a couple people in places they didn’t want to be kicked on their behalf when she found out they had a problem with Bucky.
Bucky liked having a roommate that was anything but normal. It kept things interesting.
Having heard the pause in Bucky’s typing, Natasha stopped mid push-up and glanced over at them, one eyebrow raised in a question. Bucky shook their head, but they doubted she was going to let it go.
Sure enough, several minutes later, Natasha got to her feet and sat on the edge of their bed. “Penny for your thoughts?”
Bucky sighed, saved their document and closed the laptop before setting it aside. “It’s not a big deal.” Which was a lie, but Bucky could imagine what her reaction to the truth would be. Not that they thought she would let them get away without telling her what was really going on.
Natasha gave them a look that said “oh, is this how you’re going to play this?” but she didn’t look like she was going to say anything until they did.
Suddenly, Bucky was sure she knew exactly what was bothering them and had been playing nice on the off chance they would tell her before she had to call them on it. Again, the spy thought resurfaced.
Bucky sighed, running a hand through their hair. “I’ve never…come out to anyone.” The last few words were mumbled, but there was no doubt in Bucky’s mind that Natasha would hear them.
Natasha was silent for a moment, before she reached over and laid her hand over theirs. “Believe me, I get it. You know I have a boyfriend, right?” At Bucky’s nod, she smiled and tilted her head, studying them for a moment. “Well, what you might not know is that I’m aromantic and asexual. I don’t advertise it, but all the important people know.” The way she said it left no room for argument that Bucky was now one of those people.
“You think I should just tell Steve and get it over with?”
Natasha shrugged. “It’s your decision. I think you might be surprised by his reaction. Give him a chance instead of psyching yourself out.”
She was right. Of course she was. They had to give Steve the benefit of the doubt before immediately jumping to conclusions. Sometimes they needed someone to remind them of that, and most of the time they were glad Natasha had elected herself that person.
Natasha squeezed their fingers before moving her hand back to rest on her lap. She gave them a knowing smile before she stood up and stretched. “I’m going to shower, but if you want to hang out later Clint is coming over for a movie night.”
“You mind if I invite Steve?”
Natasha smiled. “Not at all.”
About an hour later, Steve texted Bucky to say he was leaving the library and headed back to the dorm. Bucky couldn’t help but get anxious all over again. Luckily, Natasha was sitting next to them on their bed and smacked the back of their head when it looked like they were freaking out. “It’s going to be fine, Bucky.”
They couldn’t bring themselves to look at her as they rubbed the spot she had smacked. “What if it isn’t?”
“Well, then I’ll kick his ass and we’ll go get ice cream. I’ll even watch that stupid superhero show you like with you.”
“Hey, Flash isn’t stupid!”
Natasha smirked at their outburst and they had to roll their eyes and shove her shoulder. She was trying to calm them down and it was working. They liked how easy it was to talk to her, like they had been friends their whole lives even though they’d only known each other for a few months.
“C’mon,” Natasha said as she got to her feet, pulling at Bucky’s metal arm. “Let’s go outside and wait for Steve to get here.”
Bucky still found it hard to believe how casually she touched their prosthetic and how much she seemed to just not care about it. There were even a couple nights they woke up with nightmares that she had helped them calm down from.
Bucky sighed, but let her drag them out of the room and downstairs. They were leaning against the brick wall of the building outside when Steve walked up with a taller blond guy next to him that Bucky recognized as Natasha’s boyfriend. Bucky had been smoking a cigarette, occasionally passing it to Natasha, but now they dropped it on the ground and snuffed it out with their boot.
Steve’s face lit up when he saw Bucky, hand raised to wave at them. Bucky had to smile at how happy Steve looked to see them, those blue eyes of his practically shining. Natasha nudged them with her shoulder, tilting her head towards Steve when they glanced over at her. Rolling their eyes, they nudged her back before shoving off the wall and walking towards Steve.
They would’ve said something to Clint, but he only had eyes for Natasha as he rushed past Bucky and practically tackled his girlfriend. Bucky heard Natasha curse in what sounded a lot like Russian, but couldn’t focus on it as he pulled Steve into a hug. “Hey.”
Steve stood on his tiptoes to press a kiss to Bucky’s lips for a long moment. “Hey yourself.”
Bucky smirked. “That’s some greeting.”
Steve rolled his eyes, shoving at Bucky’s shoulder. “I missed you.”
Bucky pulled Steve close and kissed him hard enough to leave Steve breathless when they pulled away. “I missed you, too.”
Steve smiled as Bucky wrapped an arm around his shoulders and they started walking towards where Natasha was standing with Clint wrapped around her. Bucky couldn’t help but think she looked like an annoyed cat dealing with an overexcited puppy. They said as much to Steve and had to grin as Steve fought back laughter.
“And what are you smiling about?” Natasha said as they approached, gaze sharpening into a glare.
Bucky just smirked as they ignored her and directed their next words at Clint. “That’s a pretty good octopus impression you’ve got there.”
Clint grinned, pressing a kiss to Natasha’s cheek. She still looked ready to stab someone, but if her expression was anything to go by it was more likely Bucky would be the one getting stabbed. “She’s secretly a big softie.”
“Let go of me and I’ll prove otherwise.”
“Aw,” Clint practically cooed. “Isn’t she adorable?”
“I know where you sleep, Barton.”
Bucky grinned as Clint’s gaze fell on them. “Adorable.”
Natasha’s glare refocused on Bucky. “I know where you sleep, too, Barnes.”
Bucky smirked. “Yeah, but if you kill me you’ll have to find a new roommate.”
Steve snorted, but immediately tried to cover it up with a laugh. It didn’t quite work, but Natasha was glaring at Bucky too intently to bother glaring at Steve.
Bucky just grinned and blew her a kiss, getting a middle finger for their effort. Clint just laughed and started to drag her back into the building. He gave Bucky a knowing look and then glanced at Steve before they disappeared from view. Not for the first time, Bucky wondered if Clint and Natasha could read each other’s minds.
Steve, apparently having seen the look turned towards Bucky and raised his eyebrows, a curious look in his eyes. “What was that about?”
Bucky sighed, resisting the urge to back away and run. They weren’t sure how this conversation was going to go, and no matter what Natasha had said, they still weren’t feeling confident about Steve’s reaction. They just had to hope everything would turn out okay. If not…well, Natasha had dubbed herself Bucky’s protector and they didn’t know of anyone who would want to go up against her.
“I. Um. There’s something I need to tell you.” Bucky took a step back, the anxiety starting to get to be too much to keep standing so close to their boyfriend. “I, um - “ They looked away, forcing themself to take a deep breath before turning back to Steve. “Sorry, I’ve just never really told anyone this before.”
Steve smiled encouragingly, nodding for Bucky to continue.
Before they could psych themself out, they blurted out, “I’m nonbinary!”
Steve blinked slowly, almost like he couldn’t quite believe what he had heard. But then he smiled and pulled Bucky in to hug them. “I’m glad you felt like you could tell me.”
Shocked, it was all Bucky could do to return the hug. Of all the things they thought Steve might say, that wasn’t one of them. To be honest, they had expected something more along the lines of “What does that mean?” or maybe “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Steve pulled back and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s lips. “That doesn’t change anything for me. I still lo - adore you.” He blushed, ducking his head. “Besides, it’d be a little ironic if I had a problem with you being nonbinary.”
Bucky wasn’t sure what that meant, but the look on their face must have given away their confusion because Steve immediately rushed to explain. “I’m…well, transgender. I was born a girl.”
Well, that explained that.
Bucky must have stayed silent for longer than they realized because Steve started to look worried and maybe a little uncomfortable. They couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, even though they hadn’t meant to make Steve feel uncomfortable. That was the last thing they wanted to do.
“Shit, Steve, I’m sorry. I’m just not used to getting that reaction. Everyone that’s found out has taken it badly.”
Steve relaxed, taking Bucky’s hand and twining their fingers together. “It’s okay, Buck.” His eyes widened almost comically, surprise evident in his expression. “Wait. Do you want to be called something else? Oh! And pronouns? What pronouns do you prefer?”
Bucky had to stifle a laugh at his words, but couldn’t quite hide their smile. “Bucky is fine, Steve. Don’t worry about that.” They leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. “I prefer they/them and I’d prefer if you called me your partner instead of boyfriend. If that’s okay?”
“Of course that’s okay!” Steve squeezed Bucky’s fingers, before he continued speaking. “I just want you to be comfortable around me.”
“You’re one of the few people I’ve always felt comfortable around.” Bucky lifted their joined hands and pressed a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. “That’s why I had to tell you. It felt like lying.”
Steve was grinning like an idiot, but Bucky couldn’t help but feel happy. Their boyfriend was okay with who they were and weren’t acting any differently around them. No matter what happened next, at least they’d finally been able to be honest about who they were with one another. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you I’m trans since we met. I can’t tell you how much better I feel now that you know.”
Bucky could definitely relate. “I don’t think you have to.”
“Yeah,” Steve said with a cute little laugh. “I guess that’s true.”
They stood there smiling at each other for long enough that Natasha would have smacked one or both of them and called them sappy idiots if she’d been there.
As if thinking about her had summoned her, Bucky’s phone rang, startling them enough that they jumped. Steve, hiding a smile behind a cough, stepped back to give Bucky room to answer the call. “Hey, Nat. Get bored of your boyfriend already?”
They could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “We would be having sex on your bed if I wasn’t asexual.” Bucky choked on air, but before they could catch their breath, she had continued talking. “Now, are you two idiots coming up here to watch movies or not?”
Bucky rolled their eyes. “Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute, Princess. But, hey, remind me why I like you again?”
“Because I put up with your bullshit and I haven’t killed you in your sleep for calling me ‘Princess’.”
“Why do I feel like you’re leaving the ‘yet’ unsaid?”
Instead of answering him, she ended the call.
Bucky glanced over at Steve, who looked amused. “Did she threaten your life again?”
Bucky grinned. “Keeps life interesting.”
Steve rolled his eyes, taking Bucky’s hand and dragging them back towards the building. “I think we’ve got a movie date to get to.”
“Yeah, okay.” Bucky grumbled. “But when she tries to kill me you’ve gotta protect me.”
“Sure, babe. I’ll protect you from the big, bad Russian assassin.”
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