#wisteriaasks

[willowedwisteria]

Ok so starts out as sagau imposter au, you've been chased out of all of the regions and now end up in snezhnaya, and childe captures you (being that your completely exhausted and just want this all to be over with). For your crime of impersonating the creator, youve been sent to the fighting pits, where fatui would train (and sometimes fight to the death).

Many fighters are eager for the chance to kill you, and whoever deals the final blow will gain a promotion, so you'll have to face multiple of them at once.

You get given some rusted armour and a dull blade to defwnd yourself but the odds are hopeless

This is basically a glorified execution and all of the fatui will come to watch, including the harbingers and the tsaritsa herself.

The fight starts and through your divine powers and teyvat willing you to be alive, you're just scraping by. Luckily, each fighter wants to be the one to kill you, so they begin taking each other out. However your luck doesn't last as when you attempt to block a heavy blow with your sword, it shatters. Desperately sprinting around the arena, looking for any useable weapon, something whisks past your hair. A weapon is lodged into the ground just past you

The arena almost stops as your eyes track where it came from and you find yourself staring at the tsaritsa icy gaze. Completely indecipherable, you dont know if she intended to kill you with it or took pity at how pathetic you looked.

Now the tsaritsa is an archon, and i headcanon her weapon to be huge scythe, that literally no-one can wield due to the immense strength and power required to hold it.

Now picture the entire arenas suprise when you just pick it up

Alarm bells start ringing in everyones heads, and the harbingers go to stop the fight, but the tsaritsa stops them. She wants to see how this goes on.

The fight starts back up, and your still on the back foot, although now you have a chance. You're still heavily outnumbered, and you've never fought before, but maybe you can do this.

But you keep accumulating cuts and bruises, hit after hit. You may have a powerful weapon, but your lack of training shows until you are disarmed.

Your killer has a sadistic grin on their face, and as they bring their sword to your neck, you can't do anything but close your eyes and wait for the end.

But it doesn't come.

Opening them you find your attacker completely frozen in place, the entire arena in fact has been frozen.

Except for you.

The tsaritsa descends to you, and you begin thinking that she wanted the honour of killing you. But there is nothing but kindness in her eyes. She can see your gold blood, the warmth eminating from your chest, the way your eyes hold stars, how could you not be our creator?

The exhaustion catches up with you and you start to collapse, only for cold, soft arms to grasp you and whisper "Don't worry my dear, you are safe now."

Apologies if this was a little long, my brain just kept writing lol, also i am kinda new to writing and genshin, so this cam out as a half-fic half-brainrot lmao

-Rapid anon

It's okay, I'm honored to have such an ask after a long time.

The fact that you can carry such a thing is already a sign that you have to be either, very powerful (which you should have some kind of experience from training that you obviously don't have) or an archon, someone who's a pacifist and has never wielded a scythe.

A scythe is a weapon very hard to master on the spot, so maybe some leverage could be given.

I'm surprised people continued to fight you. Imagine, someone actually WIELDING a blade that is used by an ARCHON. Something so sacred that you, somehow, can control. If I was anyone of the fighters, I would run.

I wonder why the Tsaritsa hadn't stopped the fight. If I had this all mighty powerful weapon and it was in the hands of someone who was supposedly a criminal, I would try and get it back as soon as possible.

The fact that she had dragged this one means that she maybe already had her suspicions. I'm sure some of the harbingers would have noticed as well, maybe even changing their minds about you.

The Tsaritsa owes you a lot for bringing you through such a thing.

[willowedwisteria]

If I were in sagau I would be pissed if I went to Sumeru

Like it's very much stated that the Akademiya looks down on performing arts and I am a huge theatre fan so I would stay quiet if any scholars started dragging theatre and once they were done I would state very clearly "I love theatre"

Oh, dear. They'd be quick to retract their words lest they wish for their tongues to be ripped out.

Of course, you are constantly surrounded by people who guard you and ensure your safety and needs are being met, so those scholars you're meeting must be of a high class or very notorious at least.

"O-oh! Of course, theatre has its own advantages and good points, but we believe that theatre's... disadvantages outweigh its benefits!"

They'd try and say something along those lines. You'll have to also soften your words as well though, some bad talk with those scholars and maybe a few would be aiming for your throat.

Though, I highly doubt any of them could lay a single scratch on you.

[willowedwisteria]

Wisti

I just had the goriest idea for a fix I had in my Tumblr life

Bloody Mary!reader imposter au

So basically all who hunted down reader would get tortured, and most popularly via getting their limbs stretched until they almost fall off and reader would then pull out all their guts, but its a special case for the archons

The archons would be blinded as they hear the sounds of people's screams while the reader tortures them and then leaves their heads to be skewered on a spear at the gates

And then for the finally, the archive would be tortured by the white room torture method.

Was it gory enough?

TW: gore

Once they've found out that you're the real deal, you decide to trick them into "forgiveness". You tell them to look in the mirror, and repeat your name 3 times in a row for redemption.

They would be confused, but most will believe your words. Plus, it sounds so simple and easy. You truly are a kind god to spare them in such a way.

Others would be a slight bit rebellious. We deserve a more significant punishment, your grace, we've done something unforgivable. They're absolutely right, but at least they're aware, unlike some people who crumble to their knees in front of you and wail for your mercy like a child.

"Bloody mary," Time is ticking.

"Bloody mary," Children are crying.

"Bloody mary," And their fate is sealed.

Once they stare back at their reflection in the mirror, they see you - but something's different. The specific scars that you've received from them are fresh, almost as if you had just gotten injured. A knife in the stomach? They'll see the blade sticking out of your gut. Your divine features tainted by countless scratches? They'll begin to ooze out wine red blood.

It was already torture standing right there in the reflection, all of the irreversible injuries you've received, all of the pain and suffering. It was as if... they felt your injuries shaking their core. However, what broke them the most was your expression. Depending on the person, you would either be violently sobbing or glaring at them.

Your tears were like a waterfall, a violent storm of emotions that swirled around and they couldn't stop it. Banging on the mirror won't work, no matter how much they'd want to hold you in their arms and comfort you.

The way your eyes pierced through their body, your furrowed eyebrows, and that disappointed glare. They could hear you, your splendid voice ringing in their ears. Oh, why was someone so serene shouting at me? Oh, how could I make their grace hate me?

Your reflection suddenly lunges at them, hands escaping the mirror and latching onto their shoulders. Your fingernails dig deeper into their shoulder, intentionally making them wince under you. Dragging them into the mirror, you arrive at your own abode, ordering the archons around to help you, their punishment will be last.

As much as you would love to completely rip their organs apart, you don't like the idea of a city not being able to function. Thus, you decide to just leave those who are protecting the cities with scars, maybe ripping off a few fingers will satisfy you enough! (You wonder if claymore users will be alright after losing a few fingers though)

Though, now that you think more clearly about it, archons that have already retired such as Venti and Zhongli have lost their former will to govern their people. They had no control, so you suppose less of a punishment would be alright.

Lesser lord Kusanali has her suspicions about who you truly are, and so did her people. They couldn't be sure if you were an imposter or the real deal, so they welcomed you, but with restrictions. Understandable, you suppose, at least they weren't searching the whole globe for a trace of you.

"Oh dear, archons, your time is up!" You gleefully chirp, through the mirror. Once they examine more, they realize that there are scattered body parts behind you. Fingers, eyeballs, nails, heads, limbs, organs, and even bones. "Isn't it pretty? I feel quite satisfied with myself," Once you cheer for yourself and jump up in joy, you stumble on a rolling arm.

Picking it up for them to see, grinning innocently - malicious intent buried in your heart, you toss the hand across the room, and a horrified voice shrieks. "I gave out so many punishments and I'm sure I've carried out what I need to."

Your hands grip the edges of the mirror, leaning in closer, "But it's not enough yet."

Ei has one of her eyes gouged out in front of Kujou Sara and her subordinates, your finger inch deeper, humming to the sound of the thunderstorms. You finally pull her eye out, stepping out of the mirror as she clutches the area around her eye whilst blood spills out. "You'll need to do some paperwork, right? So I'll spare you an eye," You laugh.

Venti's vocal cords are ripped out, and you happily preserve them in your own abode. How will he ever fulfill his role as a bard if he has no voice? What a shame indeed. "I wonder if I can fix your vocal cords, but perhaps with the voice of a pig or an animal." You kneel to him, watching him desperately gasping for air, coughing out blood violently. "Maybe the vocal cords of a certain dragon will do!"

You ban the growing of glaze lilies and make sure they can never return again. Oh dear, Zhongli! I'm sure Guizhong would understand, right? Wait, Zhongli has already moved on from Guizhong's death? Then we'll just tear out his fingernails and toenails!

[willowedwisteria]

imagine one of the reasons behind why our acolytes think any songs we sing are ancient hymns is because time passes much faster in tevyat and since most songs are like 2-3 minutes and every time we sing we sing for like 2-3 hours in tevyat time so the acolytes are like "what other song could be 2-3 hours long? Who else but our god could sing for so long?"

They start listening carefully to the lyrics and writing them down. (I am so sorry if you listen to... sussy music)

I can imagine Venti listening to the songs you sing and using that as inspiration for writing more poems. He probably understands and knows the meaning behind each and every word, but will still make it more innocent for the sake of the children running around in Mondstadt.

[willowedwisteria]

Imagine reader worked as a servant and then suddenly

Poof

YOUR THE MASTER NOW

And their just like "???"

And they occasionally fall into the habit of you know, doing chores and stuff.

And imagine you meet the archon for the first time and you just bow as an instinct. And their just like, "your grace NO!-"

Basically bowing at anyone with high authority

(Ningguang, Jean, kokomi, ayaka/ayato, etc)

Once you get accustomed to the fact that you'll always be below someone one way or another, it gets hard to ever actually get rid of this habit.

Especially if you are an extremely aware person, both personality-wise and aware of the lore, you will automatically clean up after people of high status, bow down to them, keep a polite act in front of them.

For people with less authority such as Noelle, you can handle being around them and you're more of yourself with them.

Thus, people who have any sort of authority or title will kind of start to despise being so powerful, you just seem so unnatural and stiff around them.

I can imagine any respectful acolyte bowing down to you and you bowing down to them at the exact same time out of pure respect for them. Just be careful not to bump into each other's heads when you do.

[willowedwisteria]

(I'm sorry if this going to be long, I can't stop laughing)

LMAO sorry I'm just wheezing so bad at this sudden idea that I had. A new idea for the SAGAU tag and it's terrible.

So is no one gonna talk about glitches and bugs in sagau? Cuz that would be hilarious 😂💀

Just reader trying to survive until they, out of sheer chance and luck, ACCIDENTALLY discovered that glitches and bugs work around them.

Imagine being chased and accidentally triggering a bug and you suddenly get stuck between two rocks only to start falling towards the ocean 💀

And once reader realizes this, they take FULL advantage of this, down right ABUSES it 💀💀💀

Even old bugs from previous versions work. No one knows if they could replicate it, or how this works, but the reader surely does. As long as they have the memory and the mental mechanics on how it gets triggered, the bug will happen.

😂LMAO I'll just put one example because this idea straight up woke me up at 2am. (I'll probably have more when i wake up)

Reader finally gets captured by the KoF and gets dragged into their headquarters for interrogation when they remembered from their world that there was a glitch that happened when they wanted to see Kaeya.

So reader just has to mentally think about the 'mystery of Arcadian ruins' quest and walk as if they're on their way to speak with Kaeya after finishing the said quest.

Foot steps inside the HQ then BOOM, reader gets under the map 💀 climb the nearest mountain and jump three times until a dent shows on the ground then gets transported to the nearest waypoint ☠️☠️☠️

Oh dear, you've really broken to laws of physics.

They'll see you try and glitch through (it would be terribly embarrassing if you fail the first few times) and get so confused when you actually bug through the system.

Honestly, they're a bit terrified you know these kinds of things.

Ah, also, greetings Rea!!

[willowedwisteria]

to that one anon who i'm assuming dislikes the knights of favonius and sent in that ask, you have plenty of reason to dislike them

they covered up crepus' death, they still try to cover up their involvement in things, they tried to arrest the darknight hero because they couldn't have a vigilante do their job better than them, and they still rely on a select group of people within the knights to do their job for them.

klee causes destruction even with people looking after her, and while she has good intentions she's still destroying public property. she does have solitary confinement but nobody ever seems to actually scold her or properly explain to her that she can't do stuff like that and that annoys me.

amber was actually kind of rude to us when we first met.

jean and noelle overwork themselves and don't even have the ability to say no. jean in particular is a bad leader. i'm saying it. she doesn't know how to delegate or pass off paperwork to others and takes everything on herself which is not what an actual leader should do. i don't like jean or noelle myself. they have bad working habits and everyone praises them for being workaholics.

eula acts standoffish and during her story quest I felt like she had a superiority complex. she even criticized diluc for being aloof when she's the same way. also she annoys me.

kaeya is...kaeya. he's a walking red flag. that's all i have to say about him.

and then the rest of the visionless knights. absolutely useless. they stand there with no training and then some of them complain about not having anything to do. maybe they can go train for threats? godwin and guy come to mind really quick. when arthur is being attacked by slimes guy doesn't even do anything! he complains about now being able to fight boss monsters!

plus they're like the police, except more incompetent. the knights of favonius really need to get their shit together.

Oh... my.

Well, to add a bit more insult to injury, I actually don't remember any one of the visionless knights helping in the cutscenes. I can at least remember the milleth being in the cutscenes of the fight against Beisht and actually following Keqing's orders/helping out.

[willowedwisteria]

Soft sagau where reader immediately becomes everyone's therapist once they arrive in Teyvat

Oh, dear. There are many types of people you'll have to deal with. I don't think I can fit them all in here.

1. The "I think I'm mentally okay, but I'm actually not." people.

(E.g. Bennett, Jean, Ei)

These types of people don't want to bother you when you insist that you'll always be there for them if they ever want to open up or vent. Believe me when I say that they do trust you, a lot. However, why would they want to burden you when they themselves are fine?

Other people have problems that they can't handle on their own and they deserve your time and energy. They can handle their own problems, fix them in their own way, right?

The moment you decide to personally approach them to help, they slowly crack, before engulfing you in a tsunami of emotions that they've been bottling up for so long for the sake of others or at least what they thought would be best for others.

They're supposed to entertain you, take care of you, make sure you're safe, why bother with such "trivial" matters?

2. The touch starved people.

(E.g. Xiao, Diluc, Diona)

How do I say this... These people don't get affection from others or maybe they can't get affection from others. Thus, they decide not to bother trying to search for any care or affection.

They have more important matters to attend to rather than this.

Like the characters in the first category, these people prefer to deal with their problems themselves. Or maybe they don't try to solve any mental problems at all, some of them are busy people.

Once you approach them, maybe even give them a few hugs, you can expect them to come over once in a while once they feel like they want need some form of love, platonic or not.

They'll try to refrain from relying on you too much, of course though.

3. The "I do bad things to cope" type of people (kind of)

(E.g. La Signora, Abyss! Traveler, Scaramouche)

These people do bad things in the eyes of most people living in Teyavt. These people aren't very welcome to freely roam the cities, nor do they want to in the first place.

Whether it's revenge for betrayal, abandonment, or some other reason, these people can't help but become the bad guy. Why should they live up to society's standards or even bother helping society itself if society didn't care for them?

They don't expect you to even ask them if they're okay. They've gotten accustomed to this style of living.

If you ever do decide to try and help them, you can expect them to be a bit nicer to you due to your status, but they wouldn't open up as quickly.

They've been fooled once, they're preparing themselves so that they won't be fooled again.