#with a normal life

[ro-doodles]

Did someone call for another self-indulgent dbda au?

No? We’ll have this anyway

I’m not really that big of a miraculous fan (I can’t watch it without getting annoyed) but I still think the concept is fun and it’s a fun au format.

I imagine they would go by Scarlet Beetle and Black Cat or something like that. It would be kinda fun if Edwin chose the name as a play on the scarlet pimpernel. Also of course there would be love square shenanigans.

[lagomerch]

Who’s next?

Suggested by my sister (after gabriel 💀)

[crowhyun]

actually y’all i need to rant and i’m going to sound like a pathetic loser but i’ll wait until shame comes in so i can delete this later but rn it’s night time and it’s the right time

so like, idk abt yall, but during the late hours of the night, my emotions are heightened unlike during the day. Like if I’m happy, i’m all smiley and giggly and i’m never like that during the day. I’m a night person yeah. But i get sad easier at night. And tonight i am sad boohoo

what am i sad about? IM LONELY AS FUCK 😭

the thing is, i’ve been single my whole life. i’ve been told and convinced that i wasn’t beautiful or worthy of love, and no one has ever shown interest in me. Boys would bully me the most over my looks. And i’m not going to lie and say “but i was beautiful all along” bcs i wasnt. I was a lol scrawny nerd who wore glasses and the same hoodie everyday. I didn’t care abt my looks at all, but it’s a bit diff bcs i’ve grown up in places where there weren’t ppl like me. So in either predominantly white or asian schools. I was never beautiful to them.

but it’s not just that. I’m convinced there is something wrong with me, bcs when I see my sister, I see everything that i want to be. She’s feminine, pretty, confident, strong etc etc. Ever since she was little, she’s had everyone all over her and people would always compliment her and overlook me.

i remember when my grandpa straight up called me ugly and then said that my sisters were like “pretty princess” to my face. I’ve always hated him. This might sound morbid, but i’m glad he’s dead. He was never a good person anyways.

my sister used to make fun of me for my looks as well bcs i was never as pretty as her. Everyday, I nitpick at every little thing because of her. My shoulders are too wide, i’m not feminine enough, my skin is too dark, i look like a child etc etc etc like WHYYYYY can’t i stop????? ARGHHH

and WHY does it seem like everyone has had love in their lives but me???? no one has ever been interested in me, and i feel like i’m going to be alone forever. I keep trying to convince myself that someone would come along one day, but i continue to lose hope. I’m so scared to get close to people, and im not good at making conversation, i can’t even make friends, how do i expect to one day get married?

i have a skin condition that makes my skin rough and bumpy, and people have always commented about it, and i don’t even want people to get physically close to me bcs of it. i hate when people touch me, and im always so hyper aware of someone’s proximity.

like what happened to the little girl that loved hugs and holding hands? i hate that i’ve changed. i used to be so extroverted and happy and social, but i’ve gotten shut down and hurt so many times and now im a fkn recluse like ew i hate myself

sometimes i get the urge to drink myself drunk so i would stop thinking and so that i’d be free from shame and embarrassment and anxiety, but i don’t do that bcs 1. alcohol tastes disgusting and 2. i feel like if i give in, i’d develop an addiction.

i feel so sorry for all of the friends that i do have and for the future boyfriend that i may or may not have. i’m so insecure that it ruins everything. I think that no one rlly likes me and they’ll all leave me one day just like my friends have done in the past, just bcs i wasn’t pretty enough or cool enough.

[crioon]

“Betterfly”

[thejade-forest]

people make me wanna bite them. is that weird