Withholding Truth
I love when I get lots of messages in a 24-hour period that all follow a common theme. Today’s seems to be around truth.
First off, there has been a lot around me about truth...telling the truth, withholding truth, and flat out lying.
Next, I keep reading meme after meme on Facebook about honesty, truth, trust, etc.
Then I got into a conversation with someone about the fact that if you cannot face the truth of who YOU are based on your words and actions, then you cannot blame others who define you based ON those words and actions.
Finally, when I was searching for a topic to write about today, I pulled out my OA For Today and looked up October 7th. It read:
“The first point of courtesy must always be truth.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
My favorite part was “It is tempting to be evasive when I fear someone may not want to hear the truth, but I cannot distort reality out of kindness for another person without myself living a lie.”
Of course, I can think of a million lies we all tell—most small, some big. But I then realized that the greatest lies we tell are those we tell to ourselves.
We justify virtually everything we do...well, at least I do. I justify the food I eat that I shouldn’t be eating. I justified the insane detox effects I was having and claiming that it was simply due to the amount of coffee I clearly must drink, while leaving out the copious amounts of sugar, alcohol, and basic crap that was going down my throat.
We justify friendships that aren’t working and are downright destructive. We justify behavior. We justify procrastination, not exercising, gossiping, bad-mouthing, cursing, flirting, lack of time, lack of energy, and on and on and on.
The reality behind these justifications is that we cannot bear to tell the truth to others let alone ourselves about what we are doing...or not doing.
As an addict, telling lies or withholding truth can be an addiction in and of itself... a behavior so familiar it becomes a habit, one that we run the risk of not even realizing we are doing.
That’s why part of 12 step is honesty, starting with yourself.
No more lying to myself. No more lying about behavior. No more withholding truth. Just lie bare and let life be life.
Scary? Yes. Shit yes.
Worth it? No question.