#witposting

[roostercrowned]

Beloved: and I’ll dress you up as my servant and you’ll accompany me everywhere. You must be at my side at all times. We’ll wear matching outfits and I’ll order you around. Here. Take this O-ring collar and bulldog harness

Fitz: sounds straight 👍

[roostercrowned]

this post started a whole domino reaction in my head that somehow ended up......... here

sound off if you actually want one and I just might order them

[roostercrowned]

does anyone else remember part of Fitz's courtship with Molly at the end of Fool's Fate being "I saw your ankle once when we were 14 and got so horny I almost passed out" or was that a nightmare I had

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i just realized that by Duchies virtue naming conventions you could totally justifiably have a guy named Frank

[roostercrowned]

PSA: if a loved one exhibits any of the following, previously uncharacteristic traits or activities...

a sincere interest in wolf conservation t-shirts

crying when they see an apricot

an appetite for herbal tea

(also) crying when they see certain Toni Morrison titles on library shelves

talk of getting just one of their old closed-up childhood ear piercings redone

an inexplicable fondness for those tacky porcelain clown dolls

whispering "wife" when they see a particularly good work of woodcarving

...they MAY have been exposed to Robin Hobb's sixteen-book fantasy series Realm of the Elderlings and could be in need of intervention

[roostercrowned]

Patience and Lacey are everywhere for those with eyes to see

[roostercrowned]

related to my evil valentines do you think if Fitz imagined Beloved pregnant he would just like. black out from arousal and confusion

[roostercrowned]

a little something to take th--[someone explodes my brain with the skill before i can finish]