happy birthday to the co-founder of this blog! not actually! don't come sue me HYBE, this is a joke!!!!
enjoy this one last screenshot of cow!Yoongi because I forgot to change his clothes lol
while I hope you have a wonderful day Yoongi, I hope Tang also has a wonderful day of flopping on you since it'll mean you're home and chillin' XD it's gonna be a busy month later so get some rest everyone!
bruh... not sure that's the lullaby Yoongi is looking for, Jungkook...
stay happy and healthy this year, I heard there will be swimming involved, hmmmm :)
I will in fact be leaving the darkness soon, assuming the next island isn't also in the dark... let's hope it's not lol
I rarely talk about my thoughts. I don't think they're that relevant for the audience. But I want to acknowledge the people who have stayed here a long time, who continue reading what is posted over and over, and those who continue to hope I'm doing well (having good sex) even if I'm not writing about it. XD Of course I appreciate recent readers as well who might be thinking that too.
So, for once, I want to answer this.
I've been thinking about this question a lot. Usually I ignore it because I will update when I want to update. That's how I've always been. Originally I slowed down because I felt like constantly posting was taking up too much of my time and my mind. I don't want the things I enjoy to become a burden, so I listened to my intuition and slowed down.
I started this blog for myself, not because I wanted to write BTS smut (lmao, sounds fake, I know) but because I wanted to fall in love with writing again. For me, I need personal accountability to do something which was why I created a blog. I feel like I've achieved my original, albeit selfish, goal. I do continue to write. Sometimes it's not BTS related. Sometimes it's bad. Sometimes it's good (or I think it is) although I hesitate for various reasons. It's unnecessary to "come back with a bang" and yet part of me wants to. I'm also not one to rehash similar situations over and over. I can't keep writing about my various mental struggles but also those are the only ones I know how to describe (ya'll are going to get tired of all my issues lmao). I've obviously written a lot for this blog too. What else is left, I wonder. Also, as time went on, more and more good authors have popped up, no? Statistically speaking, with the large fanbase, it must be true.
These are surface level thoughts, though. Deep down, I've thought about how many times I've had sex and written about it. Perhaps some of you have suspected. It's true. Sex has been my coping mechanism for most of my life. My relationship with sex has been up and down, but most importantly it has become part of my identity. I don't care if others think that is a good or bad thing; I refuse to idolize or antagonize it. Simply a fact: sex is when I can be and when I feel truly free. I might be taking it too seriously, yes, but how many people can say that? Not about sex in particular, but about anything? So, yeah, to me I wanted to repair the disconnect I was beginning to feel. I do not want to have sex just to have content. It wasn't there yet but it was getting there and I couldn't compromise what was important to me.
Side note, less important, but also weird... a very small population of individuals started getting strangely obsessed with me having sex with BTS. Which I'm not having. (I'm not.) I couldn't understand why me specifically and them not self-inserting themselves? Why me, homie? And why are you telling me? Eh? Anyway, it didn't really bother me and yet the volume was rising and I was becoming increasingly aware that people wanted me to fuck BTS... who don't actually know me. Right. (I hope.)
Last thing I wanted to say is about BTS themselves. I hope they don't dally on the internet and fanfiction spaces for too long for their own sake lol. Still, I have been considering their future lately. As people, not just their idol image. I would like them to find partners / devoted relationships. Maybe marry and have kids if they want to. And when you're the artist, you already know fans can sometimes get a little cooky (heh). But then kids start learning to read (theirs, nephews / nieces, etc) and, you know. They go to school or are in any public space and, at some point, others what to be mean and such. I have no interest in policing the moral grounds of what fandom does. I only know that I myself don't want to negatively affect their image with my work but of course that's subjective to their opinions and I recognize that. Do I think I'm contributed to that? Not really. I'm just a drop in the bucket. I don't even think I'm that impactful in the fanfiction space. The kind of person I am is low-profile. But I don't want to be part of that tidal wave, either. So, I want to make it clear once more that I always write alternate universe versions of them. That I think about their lives, futures, and, before I write any more, I want to enjoy being their fan first. Because that's what it's all about, really.
And, no, I don't like the big corporation vibes. I don't like the price inflations because they know they can do it. I don't like how in general as a society we seem to be creeping towards monetary value as a source of affirming fandom. I don't like the elitist vibes and the invading other spaces to harass them and the policing of someone else's "fan" status with frivolous reasons and the invalidating the efforts of others to build the tallest mountain for your faves from the bodies of others you deem as failures.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Last year was the Year of the Wood Snake. It was pretty accurate for me. This year is the Fire Horse, so we'll see what happens. I don't need to know what lies ahead, but I want to let go of whatever I don't need to hold on to. But also Yoongi's hair is back to being long. We know how I feel about that.
(lmao the shoe as the stand holding the flower XD ITS developers are having the time of their life making these)
as usual, we have Jungkook here giving Hobi his birthday dab
hope (hehe) you had a very good day and a very good year of health, happiness and big laughs
looking forward to seeing him and the guys on stage once more, it'll be such a wonderful celebration~ see you soon!
yes, only cow Yoongi remains as Hobi is now in his 2026 birthday outfit XD soon I'll get out of the darkness (prayge), I am actually advancing the story but perhaps I should wait to actually finish it until Yoongi's birthday so everyone in BTS can have a birthday in the dark lol
If you were having sex with the members for the first time, would you approach it differently depending on what you know about their personalities? For example, if they were willing to let you lead, do you think that fucking Jungkook would be similar to fucking Namjoon?
It wouldn't matter who they were. Everyone I fuck gets their own tailored experience. Otherwise wtf am I doing? XD People have different likes and dislikes. Sometimes you're in the mood for something. Sometimes you're not. Kinks change over time too. It's a disservice to the individual if you fuck 'em all the same.
Chances are, you'll probably have more than one sexual partner over your lifetime. Nobody wants to hear, "I fuck you the same way as the last one." That's weird behavior. Some people only have one sexual partner, true, but then you consider how your partner is feeling that day and act accordingly. No one is in the same mood every day.
side note: "if they were willing to let you lead" I'm sorry but it just kinda will always end up that way despite my best attempt on chilling the fuck out, apparently I'm incapable of that smh
anyway
BTS are public figures, so we get an idea of their general public personas which reflect their true personalities to some extent. Since their different people, they would probably be interested in different things or have more / less experience in various areas when it comes to sex. More than that, though, I would consider the way they are when interacting with me, because of course each will have a different first impression of me as well. It's more about the rapport we're able to establish (with the help of Papago, welp) and how we get along as a pair.
Would fucking Jungkook be similar to Namjoon? Don't think so. Namjoon probably has a more established idea of what he wants versus Jungkook would probably rather "test" me and be interested in my expertise. Also, there's the height difference so that's something to figure out when it comes to positions. If I can get Seokjin within ten meters of me, we might have a shot LMAO We would have fun though. He seems to enjoy being thrown around. I could be a little nasty with the facial expressions. I think he'd find it hilarious. Yoongi is probably the hardest to talk to when it comes to sex specifics. I think it would make him more comfortable if I initiate and see how he reacts, test the boundaries of what he responds well to, and so on. The conversation would be more physical than verbal. With Hoseok I would have to be the most gentle (which means... I have to act more "normal" lol), so I would probably present ideas in a more chill way and see how it goes. Something tells me I don't have to do much when it comes to Jimin. I'd let him flirt and succumb eventually after a nice push-and-pull. Pull out the freak maybe. With Taehyung, I would start slow and ramp up. I don't think he'd like to feel rushed but he wouldn't want it slow throughout either.
I only gun for what I want if there's already an established connection going on; I'm not out here trying to be rude. And even then, I do things the other person likes first to convince them to do what I want. :D Yes, some people like being pushed into it, however I wouldn't do that to someone I only know casually (and they would need to tell me repeatedly to do so) because that can turn into assault very quickly.
I think it's a form of respect to consider an individual as such. To approach each person as a unique experience, especially when it comes to sexual preferences that are usually very personal. After all, we're not gonna even get to the sex part if I don't like the person at all or can't envision myself having sex with them.
I wouldn't say every sexual experience needs to be special. But I do think you think to think of it as a time investment. Because it is. This is time you can't get back. What is the value of your time? That's something only you can determine. Of course, the answer will change over the course of your life. But, in the end, we all have limited time.
happy birthday to the one and only Kim Taehyung that I can't seem to take a solo photo of without another BTS member in the shot
(just like real life lmao)
here's to many more years of everyone's favorite photogenic man who said chapter 2 isn't about taking shirts off and yet is constantly taking his shirt off (?)
all men do is lie
stay happy and healthy :) eventually I'll get out of the dark of this ITS chapter so you all don't have to stare at dark screencaps LOL
