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SDVE Magnus x Farmer

Magnus has been bullied by his colleagues so long that he had learned to ignore it. His husband has different approach.

Farmer did not expect to feel particularly at home at the Ferngill Ministry of Magic banquet, but wat don’t you do for love.

“Are you sure your colleagues won’t laught at me?” He asked, trying to adjust elegant robe around his neck. The golden embroidery was itching against his skin.

“I am absolutely sure, my love” Rasmodius made the collar of his partner’s garment sleek and more pleasant to the touch with a flick of his finger. “You won’t stand out, the banquet is always full of mage’s spouses. If anything, I’ll be a laughing matter”

Magnus half-expected his comment to go unnoticed, so it took him by surprise when his husband stopped dressing up and looked at him in silence. His gaze was both questioning and concerned.

“What is it, my love?”

“Why?” Farmer asked simply, putting away the hairbrush that he was just about to start using.

“Could you specify the question?”

“Why would you be a laughing matter?” Farmer’s tone was serious and Magnus, who hadn’t really ever consider that question, found himself suddenly nervously looking for justification.

“Hmm, you see, it’s just… Just how it’s always been” His husband didn’t look satisfied at all. “You see, I am just much more… hmf…. Look, social connections among mages are… complicated. Sometimes what looks like an affront just serves maintaining a friendly connection and strengthening a bond amongst the group”

“Sounds like plain old bullying to me” Farmer rolled his eyes. “But sure, I’ll take your word for it. For now”

“I can assure you there is nothing to worry about, my Star”

Magnus pinned his husband’s robe together with an ornamental brooch. Then took a step back and admired how Archer looked in a proper wizard attire, with hair freshly washed and carefully braided, without scratches, bruises and stains of dirt, which usually held onto him like a second skin.

“You look stunning, my dear” He whispered under his breath.

“Not half as incredible as you” Responded Farmer.

They shared a long, soft kiss and for a moment Magnus felt light, as if he had no worry in the world. But when glancing one last time before departure in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice all the flaws on his image. The inevitably deepening wrinkles, the strands of white hair, some caused by age, some by failed magical experiments. Magnus was never bothered to try and dye them, until the very last moment, when suddenly they made him feel very self-conscious. He couldn’t help to compare his partner’s body - straightened, muscular, trained by the adventures and hard work - to his. There was nothing in particular wrong with it (and even, according to one very special person, it could be described as perfect), it just looked, well… like what you could expect from a person who spends most of the time reading old parchments or hunched over a cauldron.

“So, are we going?” Asked Archer, and Magnus suddenly realized that his “last, quick chech” in the mirror was longer than he expected.

“Apologies. Yes, my love. Are you prepared for teleportation?”

True to Magnus’s predictions, after the pair arrived to the banquet everything was perfectly fine… for about seven minutes.

“Hey Razzy, is that true what I hear?”

Seeing Magnus tense at the sound of this nickname made Archer despise the speaking person even before he saw them. And putting a face to the voice definitely didn’t help their case.

Magnus was approached by a smug-looking mage, with short, black hair and beard with which he could successfully cosplay the antagonist from “Journey of the Praire King”. Weird amalgamation of smoking and robe he was wearing could look classy enough, if only every inch of it wasn’t embroidered with golden thread. It was the same kind Archer earlier found too insufferable to wear around his neck.

Mage waved to group of his equally smug-loking friends, as if informing them that he will be back shortly, and approached Magnus and Archer. His friends didn’t go back to their conversation, instead following him with their gaze, waiting for whatever show they were expecting to take place.

“Razzy, is that true what everyone is saying?” He put his hand on Magnus’s shoulder, ignoring his attempts to widen the distance between them. “Have you given up on women and settled for a farmer hick?”

“Icarus, please…” Magnus began with a conciliatory tone, but he was interrupted once again.

“Icarus, is it?” Archer forcibly removed man’s hand from his husband’s shoulder and greeted the mage by squeezing it, a little harder than it was necessary. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Archer - ex pirate, member of the Adventurer’s Guild, self-taught magic amateur, Skull Cavern explorer, friend of the forest spirits, follower of the Lady with the Red Tail and the man behind restoring Pelican Town to it’s former glory. Along with, how did you say it… a farmer hick”

He gave Icarus his most venomous smile and pretended not to notice when the man wiped his hand with an expensive looking handkerchief as he was turning back to his friends.

“What a buffoon” muttered Archer, following Icarus and his friend group with squinted eyes.

“He is just like that” Magnus took his husband’s hand in an attempt to calm him down. “It’s best to just ignore him, dear, trust me”

“I will not ignore someone who’s disrespecting you like that” Responded Archer, but decided to lay low for now. After all, they just arrived and it wouldn’t do them any good to start a brawl all of a sudden.

“Are you okay?” After making sure Icarus is not coming back Archer redirected his gaze onto Magnus. Wizard assured him that he was on countless banquets before and got perfectly used to sarcastic comments. Archer just nodded and smiled, deciding not to reveal just yet that he saw right through Magnus’s “I’m fine” bullshit.

It was as if Icarus waited for them to loose alert, because the second time he approached was when they finally started to relax. Magnus was excitedly explaining his discoveries on forest magic to some white-haired wizard cloaked in navy blue, and Archer took that opportunity to roam back to the main table and put some more delicious purple mushroom risotto on his plate.

When he came back, navy blue wizard was gone, and his husband was once again forced to converse with Icarus. Farmer felt his blood boil, he knew subtle intimidation tactics when he saw them. Icarus was shortening the distance, getting uncomfortably close, and Magnus’s way was blocked by a pulled out chair, so he couldn’t move away from Icarus without turning away and essentially making a small show out of it. He was crumpling his long sleeves from the inside, a discrete way to relief stress, but one that Archer immediately noticed. He increased his pace just a little bit, still doing his best to be discreet with his emotions. His ears caught the end of Magnus’s sentence.

“… please call me by my full name if you don’t mind”

“Oh Razzy, come on, learn to live a little! You’re always so stiff, the little professor”

Icarus was definitely a little tipsy, which apparently gave him even more audacity.

“I thought that you have heard my husband well. Cut it with the nickname”

Archer emerged from the crowd surprising both men and took a chance to move the chair that was blocking Magnus’s way. The wizard thankfully made half a step back.

“You again?” Obtrusive magician looked Archer up and down, then proceeded to ignore him and spoke again to Magnus, walking half a step closer to him. “Of course you’d wive up someone with a stick in their butt. Explain to that farmer how to take a joke, will ya?”

Magnus opened his mouth to say something, but Archer was quicker.

“Is your definition of joke is calling someone a name they deliberately refuse to be called and patting yourself on the back for that? If I didn’t know wizards any better I would think this to be a sign of a limited intelligence”

For a moment Archer and Icarus engaged in a gazing battle, throwing silent lightningbolts at one another. That lasted for about five seconds before Icarus bursted out laughing, supported by his group of minions, eager to follow him and bask in the safety that insolence and being in a group gave them all. One or two wizards who just happened to pass by and hear parts of the conversation also let out a soft chuckle, which made Magnus and Archer look and feel as if they did something harmlessly stupid.

“Dear, really there is no need to…”

“Yeah, there’s no need to. Let mages talk” Without even thinking about it, Icarus waved his hand and caused a magical force to move Archer half a meter away. Startled, he dropped some of the risotto on his elegant robe. Icarus’s minions chuckled.

“Should have known, Razzy brought himself a security guard this time!” Intruder walked another half a step closer to Rasmodius. “Sure, your ex was too hot to handle for you, but to give up after the first try? I’m sure there is some woman out there who would want you!”

“Maybe he doesn't really want a woman?” Somebody drunkenly joked from the small crowd.

“Oh true, Razzy always was a little girly!” Icarus took a strand of Magnus’s purple hair between his fingers. Wizard himself stood still and with no sign of emotions on his face. He learned, years of experience as his teacher, that showing that jokes at your expense bother you only causes a heavier laugh. So he decided to wait it out, even when Icarus said: “We could have known that you’d turn out to be a fagot”

Using magic is incredible, but those who rely heavily on it have one common problem. They loose all skill and instincts as to how to react when faced with a non-magical obstacle. Archer knew that and was prepared to take a role of such obstacle if circumstances called for it. Physically moving him out of the way with magic, making his husband a laughing show, and calling him a homophobic slur was more than enough of a reason.

The last thing Icarus’s senses registered were Farmer placing himself between him and Magnus, soft chuckle let out by Archer and silent twang of a risotto plate placed back on the table. And that’s because Archer’s right hook landed too quick for Icarus to notice. He was sent flying into the arms of his flunkies, who could do little more than catching him and gasping loudly in shock.

“We should go” Muttered Rasmodius, reaching to hold his partner’s arm.

“No, Magnus, we can stay, he deserved-”

Archer didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before he felt a suckling sensation of the teleport.

“-that”

They were once again in Magnus’s tower. Wizard crossed his arms, clearly disturbed.

“What was that?” He asked, gazing at his partner.

“I should be asking Icarus that question, what was that?! Is that how they’re treating you on a regular basis? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“This was a normal, friendly bickering between colleagues, even if a little enhanced by alcohol. It would have been fine if you didn’t decide to jump out and attack him like a brute!”

“Like a brute…” Archer looked desperately at the ceiling and started walking in circles around room, agitated. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but I had only punched him after he moved me away with magic against my will and called you a homophobic slur! Before that I tried to protect you in high-mannered way, or whatever bullshit name you have for snob talk”

“I didn’t need protection, it was just a normal conversation! Forgive me, dear, for thinking I know more about how a regular encounter between wizards looks like”

“Regular en… Magnus, am I getting fucking crazy or you are?” Archer’s eyes got wide at his husband’s nonsense. “It was a plain old bullying if I ever saw one and if you can’t stand up for yourself against it, then somebody has to do it for you!”

“I did not ask for your protection, and even less for such a blatant displays of aggression!”

“Magnus, you don’t deserve to be treated that way!”

“I. Do!”

Instead of responding, Archer just stared at him in silence, and that was when Magnus realized what weight his last two words carried. He turned away and looked outside the window, trying desperately to calm himself down.

“I do” He repeated, quietly. “Because of my actions there is a mad witch on the loose threatening this valley. My… selfishness, my lack of moral compass, not only caused great risk but also deprived all these people from a clever witch and colleague. I don’t see how a couple jokes isn’t a just retribution for that”

Archer got quiet. He walked towards his husband and hugged him from the back, delicately at first, making sure Magnus is okay with that form of physical contact.

“But they didn’t only start after you split with your ex wife, did they?” There was no verbal answer needed. “Magnus…” Archer tightened his grip on his husband. “Have you ever really have someone in your corner? Somebody to tell them all off?”

Against Rasmodius’s will, a single tear formed in the corner of his eye, quickly followed by another. Archer of course knew the answer to this question, they have talked enough about their lives even before they were officially together. Archer knew that Magnus, taken away from his non-magical family, had to learn to navigate the world alone from a young age. That he was always a subject of jokes targeted by his peers, and that he learned to deal with it by seeming emotionless and unmoved. He knew that with his wife, a popular and smart witch coming from a magical family, Magnus’s self esteem didn’t get any better. She, too, engaged in making fun of her husband, maybe even more so than people like Icarus. After all, when a woman does it to her man it is “quirky” and “funny”, not abusive.

No, Magnus did not have anyone in his corner for a very long time, probably ever. Having Archer finally stand up for him was a new experience, almost scary, because so unknown. Wizard felt more tears sliding down his face, not even knowing at which moment he started to cry. All anger left his body and when Archer attempted to hug him, he leaned eagerly into a safe embrace.

“You are not pathetic, Magnus. Nor are you a bad person” Farmer tightened his grip when he heated a sob escaping his husband’s throat. “I am sorry they made you believe you deserve to be treated like a joke. And I’m sorry if this will cause some broken noses, but I won’t stop protecting you until you learn that you deserve so much better”

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