#wizard-posting

[swagbatical]

Working out to be the most jacked wizard.

You think a mere knight stands before you. A combatant of simple muscle and blade. You've defeated tens, maybe even close to a hundred before, so victory should be simple, clean, practiced and quick.

Then from inside the helm you hear a muffled

"Woe. Sixty geese upon ye"

As the sun is blotted out by a wave of enraged honking and feathers, you wonder what had gone so wrong? You also wonder if you heard "detonate gander" correctly when-

[council-for-demons]

Council For Demons and Demonic Activity

This is a council dedicated to helping you with your demonic activity, problems, possessions, and anything else! Like the wizard councils, but its demons.

Ask to join! You can join if you're full/part demon, or a demon expert! Current members: @succufaerie @f4y3w00d5 @ashen-the-tiefling @terrencetheshark14 @jhomikle @willowplantcat @aileaxthevoidien @uneven-daemon @therealghoulfather @captain-exclam @pentahook

[swagbatical]

And the castle is . . . impregnable, you say?

*biting my lip and lowering the brim of my wizard hat*

We'll just see about that

[swagbatical]

Hmm yes I see your point, and your reasoning is soundly backed up with evidence, however- I CAST FILL URETHRA WITH SAND

[swagbatical]

*I flop bleeding into the tavern, weak and pathetic. Groaning like the damned*

Tavern patron: "You're half dead! What happened, were you robbed?"

Me wearily: "No. I was . . ."

I pause for a moment considering the possible future impacts that disclosing my new sport "exploding knife ball" to the public, while the idea is still in its' infancy could have on the longevity and adoption of it.

". . . Ambushed. By bears. Twelve of them. Conjoined twins. Full body ones. All of them. They knew martial arts. And had guns. Big ones. The really loud kind. I'm amazed you didn't hear it."

I sigh as I go limp like the wilting flowers upon autumn's dawn

[swagbatical]

Kindness is a spell I cast every day, but so is greater fireball so look out bitch

[swagbatical]

Fools turning up to wizard duels: soft cloak, big floppy hat, impractical footwear, a pipe kindled with reaction dampening plant, possibly a scribe or bard to exaggerate their story later

Me the very cool and intelligent wizard turning up to wizard duels: Full suit of custom armour to protect against slashes, a shield to protect from blunt strikes, a helmet forged with a scary face to intimidate, conductive eel lining to nullify electricity attacks, my thick staff enchanted to be slightly more flexible as it now is used as a bow, phoenix feather fletched arrows that fly faster than any spell can be uttered and resonate enough magical energy to easily target for casting my own spells.