Never in her life had Fay had hair that grew fast, but after only a couple months as Alaric’s apprentice, she could pull sections of her hair forwards to look at it. Looking in the mirror showed the shaggy looking mop of pale red that no longer looked stringy and flat.
And she didn’t know how to feel about it.
She looked into the mirror now, one hand wielding a pair of scissors and the other much more hesitantly pulling at hair. Long hair wasn’t allowed in the Protectorate. And her hair went far past regulation. Bringing up the scissors, she touched the top blade to the section she held…
“Come on,” she whispered to herself. She could do this. It wasn’t so hard.
A tremor shook her hands and Fay dropped the scissors with a groan of disgust at herself. The metal chinked dully on the stone of the sink and she ran her hands through her hair. It had gotten thicker as well as longer and she loved the feeling of it slipping through her fingers.
All the more reason to to cut it off. Pleasure in her physical attributes was to be stifled. Vanity was a detestable trait for a person to have.
Gripping the cool stone with both hands, Fay glared at her reflection. She had to get a hold of herself. Just because she had accidentally done magic and had been disavowed by the Protectorate didn’t mean she had to lose every ounce of discipline and the values she’d grown up with now that she was an apprentice to a wizard. It didn’t matter that he treated her gently or took a much softer approach to things. She couldn’t afford to be gentle or soft. The world was harsh and she needed to be hard in order to meet it.
Grabbing the scissors once again, she yanked at her hair again and brought the shining metal back to it.
Her fingers refused to move no matter how much she willed it. It was just her and her reflection and she couldn’t stand her reflection. It showed the tears she didn’t want to acknowledge trickling down past the freckles that had become more numerous and prominent because of how often Alaric encouraged her to join him outside for lessons. Instead she glared more at her reflection, blaming it for everything. If you hadn’t gone soft, this would be easy, she told it.
The now all too familiar secondary thumping sounded in her ears and the mirror shattered.
Fay jumped back with a yelp, dropping the scissors as she scrambled from what she’d done.
Alaric was going to be pissed.
“Fay?” Shoving herself from the wall she’d pressed herself up against, Fay launched herself out of the room and shut the door behind her. Alaric stopped in place as she plastered herself to the wood. He looked at her and then the door before his eyes settled back on her. “Did something happen?”
The corners of Alaric’s eyes creased even if he didn’t commit to narrowing his eyes. She’d spoken too fast. And hadn’t even come up with a better answer when he’d clearly heard her yelp.
“You can tell me the truth, I won’t be upset,” he said gently. It was always the gentleness. It disarmed her until she remembered all the times where she’d done just that while growing up in the Protectorate and had ended up bloody from the ensuing punishment for whatever she’d done to earn it.
“Nothings wrong,” she replied weakly.
Alaric simply sighed and came closer, his hand reaching for the door handle. Fay tried to block him but moved a moment too late. His hand touched the handle and he merely waited, looking at her with that same soft expression she kept trying to convince herself that she hated. Finally she slid away from the door so he could open it unobstructed and prepared herself for whatever punishment was going to follow his discovery.
Staying an arms distance away from him, Fay followed Alaric as far as the doorway as he went in. She watched as he picked up the scissors and then moved to look at the cracks that marred the mirror. He leaned in and moved his finger just above the largest of the lines. Because she’d used magic, there was no point of impact and the cracks were a jumbled yet still somewhat geometric mess. A moment later and the surface was healed, with the barest hint that anything had happened.
“Let me see your hands,” Alaric said as he stepped away, putting the scissors down after a quick inspection.
Trembling a little she stepped closer to him and offered up her hands. He’d never hit her before, but she couldn’t see any other reason why he’d want to see her hands. Her knuckled were already scarred from punishing beatings that had torn the skin. This would just be a new set. She could handle it.
Alaric took her pale, scarred hands into his own brown hands with their own scars. He turned them over a few times before sliding up her sleeves. Fay flinched with each movement he took, steeling herself for impact. Only he didn’t hit her, instead letting her go.
“What were you feeling when it happened?”
Fay blinked a few times before answering. “Anger.”
He nodded thoughtfully before gently steering her out of the room. “A little more productive than fear. Did you mean to do it?”
“Then hold onto how it felt when the magic worked through you. I want to see if you can do it on purpose now, okay?”
Okay? No, it wasn’t okay. “But I broke it.”
“Accidents happen. This is why in my country we catch people as soon as possible after their first show of magic so we can teach them how to control it before a tragic accident happens."
A whirl of thoughts and feelings flung its way around her mind as she was brought into the study and the polished bit of quartz was placed into her hands. Fay stared at the offending bit of crystal before looking back up at Alaric. “You aren’t mad.”
“No. Now, breathe like I taught you and try to make the quartz light up. Focus on that and not me.”
Fay looked back down at the quartz and did as she was told. Something in her chest flared and then died. Annoyed, she sat down and tried again.