Requiem was coming over to his house.
Carson had never been in such a strange mixture of disbelief, ecstatically overjoyed as well as never having been absolutely more horrified in his life.
God, what had he been thinking!? What had impelled him to invite her to the MADHOUSE that was his house. Carson normally got lucky and had the house pretty much to himself, His grandpa off in Alpha meeting as his Dad shadowed, while his mom was off with his dad Or with his aunt and uncle, and his brothers were anywhere but in his fucking face, which was all he cared about…. With the exception of Rigan. Of course. However…. Today…. Nearly the entirety of his brothers would be home.
He’d only found out after reading the Group texts between them, horrified to read as most decided to just opt out of whatever they usually did or have their plans canceled at the last minute. All of them would be home, and he couldn’t back out of hanging out with her because he had already seemed to desperate when he had asked that she’d never talk to him again if he pushed her away now.
What had he thought when he had invited her over her his house, that she would just slip naturally into place like she had always belonged there? That she would fit in seamlessly with his walls and his life and he’d finally found someone he might actually want to be with that wasn’t a close relative or friend? That she’d fit in so well with him and his life that she would never be able to imagine a life without him in ite, without her in it.
Well, Yes, but when HE had thought it, there was distinctly less Dhouti in it then there was now.
Carson waited at the front of the school as he watched the students walk by. He drew in another drag from the cigarette in his hands, watching as the burning embers drew in more of the black smoke into his lungs. He breathed out as he flicked the end, allowing the ashh of his fifth cigarette since the bell had rung eleven minutes ago, and instead of the calm he would have felt, all Carson felt was his stomach sing and his heart turn to stone as it dropped to his gut.
His free hand moved to run a nervous shaking hand through his ink black hair, fingers pausing to curl into them as he pushed his bangs back. The pan mixed with the soothing feeling of nails on his scalp pulled him from his mind, his now alive heart as it picked up to race like a hummingbird's wings trapped in a cage made of fragile bones. His whole body burned and ache with a apian that sent ripples of pleasure over his spine, and briefly, he wondered if he was going insane. He had to be...
It was insane that the anticipation and dread of seeing one girl could turn his world all topsy turvy.
It was insane to be looking up at the doors every time a person left them with hope in your eyes, only for it t die as you realized it was only some others student you didn’t care about.
It was insane to want to hang out with someone so badly that you forgot logic and possible dignity so that you could spend a few hours with her.
But here he was, To excited to leave, to desperate for just that little bit of time with her.