#wonderingoutloud

[avilhopes]

I never realised how much racism BTS face first-hand. Now that I got to know a glimpse of it, it's so upsetting. People suck, huh?

[avilhopes]

Why have I been gone? that doesn't really matter

Do I have journal pages to share? yes

Maybe you can know from the pages, how up and down my mental health has been.

[avilhopes]

Every professor is like "Woah! We had good classes.. hopefully we meet you soon. Bye."

I just feel crushed, a lil sad?

I didn't feel any of what happened..

It's a confusing time

[avilhopes]

T.W: suicidal thoughts

Everyone has felt like a coward atleast once in their lives.

Standing ,a knife in my hand, the blade nears the skin and the cold of the metal bites at my skin cruelly. My skin now seems to cry out 'no, don't' and I stop. Not because I care about my skin, but it's here ,the voice and I clutch my fingers together, my toes curl in discomfort, the inner voice grows in volume 'end it, no more pain, no more worries' and for some reason I'm tearing up, a life I won't get to live plays out like a sick cliche movie. A tear rolls down, leaving short puffs of breath I curse myself. This sucks. I can't do this. It'll hurt too much. The voice is back ' you can't even end this, you're such a coward'. I know it's me, a part of me locked up and tortured for so long, now that it's out, there's chaos. That seems to add up to the tightness that now spreads through my chest. Breathes are getting harsher, ' you're not right, you make people worry, you're bad', it echoes throughout the four walls of my mind. The knife is still in my hands, but I'm very sure I can't , can't do it, just like I can't do anything right in my life these days. The knife is placed where it used to be, tears now freely roll down my cheeks, both hands clutching at my head, I think about how I look right now ' you look crazy and stupid' , I take a deep breathe and calm myself down because I hear shuffling and I would never want anyone to see who I am now. It's my sister, my companion whose troubles and problems far outweigh mine. She is strong, the most amazing person I could've asked for, as a sister. She looks me in the eye, my shiny eyes seem to show a little of what I've been feeling. She brings her hand and caresses my hand. It'll be fine. I can do better tomorrow.

[sh4n888]

Attention Science side of Tumblr

What is it about using new stationery that makes you think you have your shit in order and the stars are aligned in the skies?

[littleliesiheart]

So if nobody tells you that you're beautiful, does that mean that you are actually not meant to be beautiful?