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Have you read Foreign Agent (Red vs. Blue)?
Yes - I’m in/was in the fandom
Yes - I’m not in the fandom
No - I’m in/was in the fandom
No - I’m not in the fandom
Author: @wordsysayswords (Wordsy)
Summary: Even by Red team standards, the scene in front of Wash makes no sense.
Or, Wash learns of one of the lesser known responsibilities of Blue Team Leader.
I need a tristamp Witcher AU where Wolfwood is a Witcher and Vash is a some sort of forest nymph masquerading as a human bard who loves hanging out in the human world, while Knives wants to drag his ass back into the deep forest.
Wolfwood doesn’t register Vash being inhuman the first time they meet. But as the years pass and he keeps running into the same dumbass bard who insists on singing songs about him, Wolfwood realizes Vash isn’t aging like humans are supposed to.
“You know this is a thing you do, right?” by Saltsanford
Church says something he regrets
“'Well, then, go on. Do you think I abandoned you?"
"I...yes. Okay? You may as well have."
Wash jerks back despite this being the answer he was expecting. "You—how can you even—"
But Epsilon's the one interrupting, now. "You should've tried harder- you should've listened, you should've run—"
Wash's head fills with a buzzing fog at those words; how dare he say those words, like they haven’t been racing through Wash’s nightmares for years and years, like he hasn’t repeated them to himself, believed them himself, in his darkest moments.”
“Operation: Strip Wash” by eggstasy
Everyone really loves Wash
“Betcha Red Team gets Wash out of his armor before you Blue Team losers,” Sarge sneers at Tucker.
“What? Wash is Blue Team! Me and Caboose'll have him out of his armor before you Red assholes can even fucking blink!” Tucker pauses. “...no. I can't say it.”
Donut waves his hands. “Guys wait, I don't think we should make this a competition!”
“Are you kidding? That's how we do all our shit!” Tucker jumps to his feet. “Sarge, I bet you my wall patrol next month that Blue Team will get Wash to take off his armor before you guys can.”
Sarge's helmet tilts back in consideration. “Arright Teal Deer. And when we win, you've got to reorganize the armory and inventory the motor pool's storage room.”
Tucker sticks out his hand. Sarge shakes it.
“Foreign Agent” by wordsysayswords
Caboose adopts something he probably shouldn’t
“It’s got eight legs. At least. Tucker’s not sure if the other appendages would be classified as spines, hair, or eye stalks. Tucker also can’t tell it’s front end from its back end but hopefully Caboose can because the man’s letting it lick his face. Caboose hugs it to his chest like a teddy bear and the creature burbles.
“There is no god if that thing exists,” Tucker says, shaking his head. He’s backed as far away as he can get and put the kitchen table between him and it.
Caboose grins and hugs the creature closer.
“Her name is Pinecone. Because she is sharp and I found her in a tree.”
Pinecone makes a noise like a dying garbage disposal and licks Caboose with a third purple maybe-tongue.”
“Long Way Down” by saltsanford
Wash has a nightmare
There’s obviously a ton of these but salt writes the most raw and effective Wash whump under the sun
“The nightmares are not his, should not be his—they come from too many different minds (LeonardAlphaEpsilonDavidWash) and he should not have to carry them. He wakes up screaming, howling, ripping out his hair. When they shave his head, he claws at his scalp until it bleeds. He hears the word restraints whispered outside of his door, and no, they can’t restrain him, they can’t pin him down and leave him trapped inside this windowless room with all of these memories in his head.
He stays awake for three days before the doctors catch on. They give him sleeping pills and calming sedatives, and although they make him sleep, they do not stop the dreams. He hovers just on the edge of consciousness, thrashing desperately against the wall that won’t allow him to wake up. When the drugs finally wear off in the morning, everything is wet, from tears the on his cheeks and inside his ears to the urine soaking his legs and the mattress beneath him.”
“Put My Guns In the Ground” by saltsanford
Epsilon and Alpha aren’t the same
“Church snorts. “Oh, please. Like you haven’t pulled off more elaborate schemes than this to get laid in the past. The shit you used to pull in the canyon—”
“YOU WEREN’T IN THE CANYON!”
A dam Tucker didn’t even realize he was holding back bursts inside his chest, and his yell is so loud that Carolina jumps to her feet, trying to insert herself in between the two of them. “Alright, that’s enough—”
“No. No!” Tucker levels a glare at Epsilon, dizzy and shaken from the unexpected fury this truth brings. “You weren’t in the canyon! Alpha was in the canyon, and you’re not him! Don’t act like—don’t act like you fucking know me when you don’t. You don’t!”
So I finally introduced my friend to the pain that is @wordsysayswords
This is what happened
wordsysayswords replied to your post: Worst superhero team name you've ever come across...
holy shit I almost bought this exact issue in a second hand store once as a joke
I did that with a Miss Fury and haven't been able to give it away out of embarrassment since then. She's just. in one of the unpacked boxes in my room now.
These are such cute prompts! "Did you think I forgot?" And maybe some Wash and Carolina being bros?
yes.... cute.... that’s totally what i’m going for, here. (forgive my lapses in canon events, im tired)
It’s a difficult adjustment to make, all things considered; a bit like moving back in with your parents after a year in college, except you thought your parents were dead and Washington never really went to a standard college, so--
Anyway, the point is, working for - not so much with, not really - Carolina again after getting into the rhythm of being more or less head of Blue Team isn’t easy. She’d come back angrier than ever, and if he was honest his order-taking muscles have gone a little stiff with years of disuse.
Seeing her again reminds him how much he’s changing since he joined up with the sim-troopers, too, which makes it that much harder to be the Agent Washington she remembers.
“Talk me through their skillsets, again?” she asks, as they’re spending another late night pouring over the plans of the facility where Epsilon is stored.
“What skillsets?”
The visor on her helmet has always added to her intimidating facade, sharpening her glare down to a narrow point. He’d forgotten how much it burns.
“Well, Tucker is brighter than he pretends to be a lot of the time, pretty good with most weapons, especially DMRs. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and some alien sword, so he should be all right. I wouldn’t have him head up a team on his own just yet, but--”
Wash realizes that he’s rambling and does his best to move along. “Caboose has impressive physical strength but can be hard to focus, and I’m a little less confident about my knowledge of the Reds, since they’re not on my team, but--”
“Teams,” Carolina says, her helmet angled downward at the schematics, then she rolls her head and steps out of the room. Washington crosses his arms and tries not to sulk. She’s been gone for a while. So has he. It makes sense that they’d have some difficulty communicating now. God, if onl York was here to act as a--
Wait.
Washington starts checking the compartments of his armor; bullets check, lockpicking tools check, weapon cleaning materials check. And something else, too, something he’d found still loosely held in a long-limp grasp.
The old Agent Washington would never have followed Carolina after she left to cool down; he’d be too mired in self doubt to think he could do anything to help. And maybe he can’t help, but maybe someone else can.
“Carolina?”
She’s pacing outside, and her attention snaps to him, crushing him like a bear trap. “What?”
“Here. You should probably have this.”
The faint starlight catches the ruby shine of the lighter in his palm, making it gleam like fresh blood. Carolina goes rigid.
“I got the recovery beacon for Delta, back in the day. I found this on the--” His fingers curl around it, suddenly unsure if he can say this right. “I don’t know if it means anything to you, but it meant something to him. And... I know you did, too.”
Carolina is quiet. Washington starts to retract his hand but she stops it, gripping his wrist with steel fingers at first and then gentle, reverent as she takes the lighter.
“Thank you,” she says, and he can hear a thickness in her voice like the words are hurting her to say. “We’ll make the Director pay for what he did to them. To us.”
“Did you think I forgot?” And Washington taps the back of his head bitterly. “I may be a Blue now, but we’re still ex-Freelancers. I’m with you. I promise.”
Even if I’m not the person you remember.
If you like RvB tumblr, I think you’ll probably like Trigun Stampede. I can’t formulate any specific reasons why at the moment, they just seem to vibe.
I’m back
TLDR; I’m showing up to class an entire year late with better mental health, brand new fanfiction for a different fandom, and a girlfriend.
--
Hey, so, I’m back. It’s been a year since I posted here or on Twitter and nearly two years since I posted any fanfiction. I stopped using social media almost entirely during that time because it became an extra layer of stress I really didn’t have the mental energy for.
A lot has changed since I last posted or spoke to you guys. I worked all through the pandemic. I adopted a cat. I got out of a year-long bad roommate situation (the biggest source of my mental and emotional energy drain). I moved into my own place for the first time. Once in a better place both mentally and physically, I got back into writing, both original work and fanfiction. I got my first girlfriend, came out to my extended family, and recently turned 27. And now, I’m making a cautious return to social media. I also started writing fanfiction again and just posted my first work in two years on Ao3.
