If I notice, yes, it’s so far away
I walked all this way but I don’t know the way home
I try to smile bitterly, but
Everyone who thought I was amazing was already gone
If my wish came true once more, I want to see you
I can’t forget those days when I loved without knowing anything
At the end of a long dream, I pray for your smile
But, I know it’s so egotistical of me
I always thought I was really so cute
I was stupid, and that’s why I’ve lost everything
It ended just like the flowers, Those colours will never come back
At the end of a long dream, I pray for your smile
But, I know it’s so egotistical of me
I always believed without a doubt that our time would continue on like it was
I was stupid, and that’s why my goodbyes didn’t even reach you
An angel in a fishtank
Nimbly swaying her elegant tailfin
A captive angel
Agitated inside her pretty rectangular ocean
She’s already tired of pretending to be a tamed, obedient child
If so, isn’t it better to live however you want?
Let’s go
Crimson on her lips, rouge on her cheeks, dressed up in colours
Running through the town, Even a black cat turns its head
Until late at night, Glittering light, and the gems you put on
I get it, A papier mache toy box
An angel in a fishtank
Nimbly swaying with an innocent look on her face
Her fellow captives
Don’t have the courage to escape, and yet her heart is pounding
But isn’t it better if you just comfortably float in here without hoping?
You have to stop trying to escape reality
Or you’ll break it
Crimson on her lips, rouge on her cheeks, dressed up in colours
Running through the town, in a back alley with a black cat
As it is morning won’t come anymore, Nonsense like that
Won’t you return to the same place after all?
Crimson on her lips, rouge on her cheeks, If everybody would change
Disappearing into the town, Hey you, come here
You can’t even breathe, Let’s do too much as you sleep through the night
Just like a kitten, You don’t even know your own name
With a horribly clumsy smile,
You swallow the things you want to say with a murmur again
“It’s not enough, somehow”
Could you see my answer?
So, nothing but healing people and hurting them
To you, it makes no difference
Straight through, straight through
Pierce straight through the center of my heart
Your hesitation and your tears, just like that
Sing for me in the true voice that is born from you
For you more than anyone else
I guess I should just state it plainly
Always living ineptly, but
No matter what, time keeps on flowing
“It’s not enough, somehow”
And yet we still don’t stop
So, remember who and what you’re here for
You understand too, don’t you? You have to change
Straight through, straight through
Pierce straight through the center of my heart
Your hesitation and your tears, just like that
So that a day will come when you can laugh from the bottom of your heart
Stay at my side only for now
And tomorrow run harder than anyone else
Straight through, straight through
Pierce straight through the center of my heart
Your hesitation and your tears, just like that
Sing for me in the true voice that is born from you
For you more than anyone else
Straight through, straight through
Pierce straight through the center of my heart
Your hesitation and your tears, just like that
So that the wounds in your heart that you keep hidden aren’t re-opened anymore
I want to make only you laugh
I guess I should just state it plainly
SHOOTING STAR まるで HUMAN LIFE
飛び立つなら 今がチャンス
頂上へ もっと KICK UP HIGH Hoo!
キミを またたきで撃ち抜いて
いつか消える そう知っていても
もがいた痕を 残せないなら
そんなの 耐えられない
SHOOTING STAR まるで HUMAN LIFE
輝くほど 儚いモノ
限界へ もっと 飛んじゃって Hoo!
後ろ 振り返らないで
SHOOTING STAR まるで HUMAN LIFE
飛び立つなら 今がチャンス
頂上へ もっと KICK UP HIGH Hoo!
キミを またたきで撃ち抜いて
English:
Just who is right
Just who decides these things
“The equality of society” makes me laugh
You, and you, and everyone
Are already screaming until you break
Lies and truth and everyone, getting all mixed up together
Take another look, listen to that voice that whispers in your heart
SHOOTING STAR just like HUMAN LIFE
Shining bright, but short-lived
Jump up higher, all the way to the limit, Hoo!
The two of us burn like stardust
Just what is right
Is something you decide
“You don’t understand how the world works”, Laugh that off
You, and you, and everyone
Come on, scream more and more and more
Today, and tomorrow, and whenever, when you can’t keep moving on
But as it is, if we just pass each other by, it will never end
SHOOTING STAR just like HUMAN LIFE
If you jump up, you’ll get your chance now
KICK UP HIGH, even more, to the top, Hoo!
Shoot your twinkling light through
Even if you knew when you would disappear
If you don’t leave behind traces of your struggle
I can’t stand that
SHOOTING STAR just like HUMAN LIFE
Shining bright, but short-lived
Jump up higher, all the way to the limit, Hoo!
We can’t turn back
SHOOTING STAR just like HUMAN LIFE
If you jump up, you’ll get your chance now
KICK UP HIGH, even more, to the top, Hoo!
Shoot your twinkling light through
teena RED book Girls’ Band Edition: exist†trace Interview
Let's hold our heads high, because "rocker girls will rule the world!"
Original text: teena RED book
● What made you first start to play an instrument?
miko: Originally, when I was little I played the piano, but my mother happened to have an acoustic guitar at home and would tell me to play around with it too. From then on it was "This is kinda fun, this sounds pretty good," and for a while I'd been exposed to the acoustic guitar, and around that time I also started to listen to rock bands, so I started to play the electric guitar, and before I realized I've already become like how I am now.
Mally: Because I loved performing in front of people, when I was little I played in brass band, and at the time I was a trombone player. And, during my classes in that school, I had the opportunity to play with drums and bass ensembles, so that's where I began to have an interest for it and what inspired me to begin playing the drums. So originally, the reason I began wasn't because I liked bands, but rather because I loved performing in front of people.
● What made you realize you wanted to be in a band?
miko: Whenever I covered songs by myself, I always ended up wanting to try to match the other instruments with what I was covering, and when I tried to cover songs with friends it was always a lot of fun. Only in my case, I didn't only perform, I also wrote my own original compositions, so I did think that if I could play it in a band, it would be interesting. And then, the band that I looked for and met, are the members now. I wanted to play like a professional player, and with the same speed, I wanted to make music with a sort of creator's impulse...... I may have become a different type now though.
Mally: In my own case, it wasn't that I had admired anybody, in terms of how to perform onstage with the drums, but our bassist Naoto had asked me, "Do you wanna try being a band?" so I joined, and from then on while we were becoming a band, I started becoming totally immersed with the charm of the drums.
● When did you start to feel like a pro?
miko: When I joined exist†trace, I was going to become a pro. Before that when I had been collaborating with friends in bands, there was a girl who had a very pro mentality, who told me "Because I'll never lose to anybody in terms of how often I practice, I'll definitely become a pro." At that time we were in a band without considering whether we had a pro or amateur mentality, but I was close to people who were very serious about music, so I realized that "I also am going to become a pro," and if I played music seriously, I would have to properly join a band, so that's how I joined the band today.
Mally: In the beginning I played really because it was fun, and I didn't have any sort of pro mentality whatsoever, but I became infected by miko's seriousness, and felt a duty to think, "Instead of wanting to make some kind of living off of this, I have to make a living off of this," and if I began to realize that if I didn't think like that, I wouldn't be able to do it.
● Being together for over 10 years, are there any episodes that seem funny looking back?
Mally: Even though we do lives, our costumes are really important, right. In the very beginning, with regards to our costumes, we had no idea how to match them, and first we bought five plain black tshirts, and said "Alright, let's start from here and make something out of these." And by tshirts I mean thin polyester crewneck cuts (laughs). We started researching from there.
● By the way, what are your normal fashion styles?
Mally: It's pretty varied amongst everyone. All five of us actually are really varied whether in hobbies or the way we think.
miko: Even the music we listen to.
Mally: Right. It's good to have a nice mix to influence the band, but in terms of our personal clothing, it's kinda like "How did these five even meet?"
miko: Our common point is probably just "black."
Mally: Something like a shapeless black blob (laughs).
● Who is the most girly?
miko: For clothes, I do wear skirts everyday, so I'd say it's me. Except mentally, it's a different story (laughs).
● Then who has the girliest mind?
Mally: Being the most girly aside, our vocalist Jyou has a huge difference between her personality and her appearance, and she reads shojo manga*. Even though she's so smart-looking appearance-wise (laughs).
miko: Recently she's been talking a lot about girly things, she says she's researching how to make girls' hearts beat faster (laughs).
Mally: To make girls like her more.
miko: In a way, she's so manly (laughs). Like the otokoyaku in Takarazuka*.
● Please tell us about something you were picky about when choosing your instrument.
miko: Before, I had always had a basic sense of hating being told, in a condescending way, "Oh that's cuz you're a girl," so I chose the ESP Forest to produce a very grinding sound in the most unfeminine way I could, but now in contrast, I believe that if I can't appreciate the positive parts of being a girl then I can't be a good performer, and while I still have a ways to go, I feel like I want to properly investigate how to embody that femininity through sound. And even though that isn't the only reason why, I use a pink strat...... in the past, I would have never used a pink guitar, but now actually rather than thinking about the instrument being girly versus being a weapon, it's just a character within the band, so I want to be able to foster that femininity more and more in the future.
Mally: In rehearsals and recordings, I had the opportunity to play the drums of a lot of different brands and makers, but I didn't know what kind of sound I liked best, and when I asked people who had drummed for longer than me why they used the drums they did, they all answered, "It's just a preference," but it seriously did make me wonder, "What the hell is my preference?" (laughs) In the midst of that, the one that made me actually think, "I really love this!" was the maker that I'm using now, SAKAE, which has an amazing live sound where even hi-hats could be heard, and the reverb of the drums is also really good. While the drums are an instrument that really feels directly powerful, I think that SAKAE's drums can create an amazing sound regardless of whether the player is male or female. Anyway, it really did feel like love at first sight for me. I use Zildjian cymbals though, because I think their cymbals have the greatest sound to them, so I like those the best (laughs).
● Please tell us your recommended way to practice your instrument.
miko: While the basics (exercises) are important, I think that brushing up your performance, or rather your musical sensibility, is very important as well. No matter how good your technique is, you also need to improve that natural sense of music. For example in one note, how you tighten the ending note of a song is something that I feel is like the unique taste of any guitarist. Even more than practice, listening to a lot of different people's sounds can help you develop your own skills in the future, but I think that has to take a lot of time. Before, I didn't get that...... and as of late, I've been wanting more and more to fine-tune some parts of my guitar playing, but if those very things were things that I had been able to absorb when I was in my youth or in my teens, wouldn't it have made me a better player? That's something that's been on my mind (laughs)
Mally: Drummers are, I think, the exact opposite position than guitarists. It's not an instrument you can play based on feel. This isn't a particular tip for practice but, when you're performing, you always need to keep your hand-eye coordination in mind, or rather, you need to try to be aware of the beat as well as all the sounds that you hear around you. For me, when I practice songs I'll sing along with it as I drum, which helps me not just really understand the points at which the drums go with the song, but also encourage me to think of how to move with my drums at important points of the song.
● From your live staging, is there something different than others that's particular to you?
miko: For me, I do whatever I'm thinking at the time...... probably staging that wouldn't be really imaginable given my appearance, such as "She's really that manly onstage?" or, even though it's not like I purposefully try to notice it, but I do think "I'm wearing a skirt, should I really do that?" (laughs). Or would these spontaneous feelings lump together to form miko, the performer? Sometimes I feel like I do too much, but the members tell me "isn't that a good thing?" so I wonder if it's something like that (laughs). And how cool can a boy or a girl be, since this is rock (laughs).
Mally: Since drummers can't move around onstage, basically I just really shake my head a lot (laughs). I drum following the feelings of the song, so that's the most important to me. I try to express what I think miko's songs want to say on a more hidden level without using words, even though this is what we do when we play it. Things that cannot be expressed through the drums' sound, such as feelings, I try to give to our audience through facial expressions. I try to do that in a characteristic way (laughs).
● Even as an all-girl band, exist†trace is one of the few to also be associated with the visual kei scene, but when you were first starting out as an all-girl band, did you consciously make the decision to start with that scene?
Mally: When we were creating the band we thought that it'd be best to have a band completely composed of women. Normally we may have thought "visual kei is a boys' world" and quit to pursue a different scene, but there wasn't a notion that girls couldn't pursue visual kei originally either. But when we actually started off as a band, we were like, "Huh!? Were we actually wrong about that?" And that's where the fight started.
miko: There would be people who wouldn't come to watch us "cuz they're girls" but in contrast it actually fuelled us, and that became our driving force to keep going.
Mally: While we had the flourish of an all-girls' band, we were also battling with a visual kei scene which consisted of only men, so we had a very rough image as a result.
miko: Our competitive mindset had changed our band and our image into something a lot "harder." In terms of our costuming, there were a lot more members in the band who suited masculine styles, so the one to wear skirts or to show some skin was limited to just me. In order to appear stylish and not too revealing, I actually have to measure just how much skin I can or can't show (laughs).
Mally: We were aiming to create a sound where our gender couldn't be felt, so I guess that whole feeling may also have ended seeping out through our music (laughs).
● Did you originally like visual kei music?
Mally: Everyone aside from me did (laughs). As for myself, I only listened to whatever was on the television at the time...... on TV, there'd been PIERROT and LUNA SEA, but I didn't listen to them outside of that. I was the only person who'd joined the band that was different, so I thought I'd use that to my advantage (laughs).
● Mally, you'd said that you did not have a specific person whom you looked up to as inspiration, but is there a drummer whom you respect after you began to play in a band?
Mally: The person whom I learned a lot about performance from is Nero from MERRY. I can’t explain it too well, but he drums like a beast, and I thought that if I could drum as aggressively as him, then I could stand out a lot even as a girl. I'd always kept how to stand out in my head, but Nero is so cool and he has his own sound and playing style, so he's given me a lot to consider in terms of being a drummer.
miko: When I started playing guitar, I had loved PIERROT and covered a lot of their songs, but I can't exactly say that Jun and AIJI were my inspirations. But the songs that they had written were a source of inspiration, or rather, it had been influential for me as I played, and that was why when Jun had used a guitar synthesizer, I tried to use one too. After, I had looked up to BUCK-TICK's Imai...... I wouldn't call him something like a Guitar Hero, but he is someone whose songs, guitar playing and lyrics really show the universe in his head. I don't only think he's talented or that he's good, but I'm also quite a dreamer, I like to live in my imagination, and not that I want to steal the way he gives his ideas form, but I very much believe that I also want to be able to give life to my own universe.
● Who had come up with the visual image, such as your stage outfits?
Mally: All of us had.
miko: We just do what we like and strike the balance we have now.
Mally: Before, we'd do themed outfits to enforce a certain image, but when we were doing that the band itself began to become more unified in and of itself, so we opted to go for things we ourselves each like to do to create the image we have now.
miko: We often don't really know what we're going to do until the day of the photoshoot or the day of the live. But, being able to match each other regardless is probably the result of doing this for so long.
Mally: This time my outfit stresses a sporty feel to it...... when we first started the band, I thought I needed to look like a shapeless VKei blob, but as time went by I started to think I wanted to do things that weren't usually done in Vkei. I started thinking the complete opposite, like wearing things that no one in visual kei had worn before, and even now, I introduce clothes and items that aren't usually used.
● Is there specific roles for each person in the band?
Mally: There is, unconsciously. Jyou is a clean-cut, clear boystyle image from Takarazuka theatre. And in a similar vein, Omi is the rough, cool version of that, and Naoto is the dark...... well, she's just all black (laughs). miko is the only girl in the group (laughs).
miko: What the hell (laughs)!
Mally: Everyone's a girl, but like, she's the girly one.
miko: Well, we are more or less a girl band (laughs).
Mally: I'm, what? The sporty type?
miko: Like the sun.
Mally: Passionate.
● The band leader is miko, correct?
miko: Yes. In the beginning we had decided not to elect a leader, but as we went on, there were times where we had to come to an agreement about our opinions...... I write around 90% of the songs, and since I’d come to have this strong sense of musicianship I thought, "well, I'll be the leader," and that really settled it. But Mally will also give many of her own opinions in the studio, so we might work differently than other bands. For me, I think the best is the sense that all the members think "I'm the leader" in their own way.
● exist†trace has been these five members for over 10 years. Is there a key to being able to be together for so long?
Mally: Basically, being close friends. Although when it comes to lives, we do get emotional at times (laughs). I think it's a must to state your opinion properly. And, I guess it's also not letting your personal life get caught up in the band, like, the band is the band and your personal life is your personal life.
● Please tell us about some positive parts about being in an all-girls band, as well as some negative parts.
miko: We're very chill, or rather we're quite down to earth, so we won't do things like fight and drag it out. The negative parts... sometimes as girls, we'll do things just halfway, or not go all the way, so we're trying to be aware of when we do that.
Mally: Sometimes we see some bands that we play with in our tai-bans who are just screwing around, not really taking things seriously, so it gets to the point where I have to say "C'mon, get off your asses!" (laughs) Also, people have started to get kind of confused about our genders (laughs), especially when we're in the dressing room at the livehouse, girls will be talking loudly and we'll feel awkward like we can't really join in (laughs). On the other hand, we also can't really join in when there are guys hanging out either, so it's kinda a grey area for us. And now that we're doing more and more lives, we're also becoming closer to a lot of gay people, and we're understanding each other more and more, and there are times where it gets like, "wait, what are we?" (laughs)
● Please tell us more about your new album, "WORLD MAKER".
miko: During our first album, VIRGIN, there was a feeling of doing only what we wanted to do, like it was a museum (for viewing, not for interacting with). And like an exhibition, we had an image of lining up all of our songs one by one, but for WORLD MAKER, we didn't really have that, and really we would reveal our creations little by little during our live performances, seeing if it matched our band, playing the songs that were able to showcase our evolution the best at lives to watch it grow even more, and those were the songs that ended up being chosen. Our roots stemmed from "I want to make an album like this, so I'll write these songs for that purpose," to now, which is like showing what exist†trace is like as a band, "this is who we are now." ... But honestly, there are some uncomfortable moments, or moments where we don't feel convinced... listening to our recordings, we like all the songs individually, but together, do they strike a good balance? But with the creation of the single song “WORLD MAKER,” including both the sound and lyrics, all at once we achieved that balance, so that when we included that song we could really say "this is the current exist†trace", and suddenly it all worked out. When this final piece fell into place, I began to like the direction our current exist†trace was moving on into with this increasing self-confidence, and because it was really so different from anything we'd done before I thought we were able to reaffirm ourselves with this album. However, even though I think this has made whatever we do next an even higher hurdle, I want to do my best to make even better and better music.
Mally: The only song that we had recorded without debuting live first was our titular song, “WORLD MAKER.” I was able to create an image I liked with the other songs with the drums in one way or another, but with this song, if I played it safe, the song itself would become really boring, so it was a source of anxiety. That was when we talked about going about the drums as an engineer or something like that. I wanted to do something that was good, that listeners could relate to, so while putting myself into the drums, I recorded a song where I didn’t lose the rock sensibility while still being able to raise my standards for myself (laughs).
● What would you like exist†trace's position to be in the current all-girls' band scene?
miko: I think all-girls bands are always going to be a niche interest. But, I believe that girls who play instruments and who can rock are something to be admired, and to be able to stand out is a definite plus. That's why, no matter how we are seen, we'll stand tall and play the music that we believe in, and I want us to have acceptance that transcends gender. And I hope that that goal of ours can be something that can stir up the girls scene as a whole.
● Finally, a message to everyone in middle school who would like to play in a band.
Mally: Firstly, if you have an interest in anything, it's fine to just go for it with all your might without second-guessing yourself. Because even if you hit a wall, there will be a day where you'll see a way to get over it.
miko: We also just dived right in without second-guessing ourselves, and now we've realized a lot of things looking back. If you're wondering if you should start to play an instrument or start a band, we'll be in the same boat, so don't be scared - let's stand side-by-side and hold our heads high, because rocker girls will rule the world!
* Shojo manga refers to comic books aimed at a younger female audience, focusing on themes such as love, romance and relationships.
* The Takarazuka Revue is an all-female theatre troupe. Otokoyaku are male roles that are played by female actresses.
