SHOCK-ING WIN AT WORLD BEER CUP 2016! In the Belgian Wit category last night at the World Beer Cup awards ceremony in Philadelphia, Shock Top took home the gold, to the surprise of thousands of hungover brewers in attendance. Shock Top’s sassy spokes-orange Wedgehead was on hand to accept the award and sling pre-written insults at the crowd. “Look at you guys, you look like someone cloned the cast of Duck Dynasty using nothing but flannel, alcohol and repurposed pubic hair. Don’t hate me because I’m a third rate-knockoff of a second rate beer, hate me because I’m $27 a half barrel.” He then dropped his trophy, yelled “Mohawks Rule!”, planted a wet kiss on Brewer’s Association figurehead Charlie Papazian and walked off the stage into an orange limousine filled with strippers and Hoegaarden. As it pulled away, the window rolled down, exposing Mr. Head’s buttocks, which were painted blue.